Dependability & Follow Through
Lately, I’ve had a few experiences that have been incredibly frustrating. These experiences are based on how dependable other men have been and what sort of follow through these men have shown.
The first experience happened yesterday. I received an email from a young man who had committed to assisting me with a project. His expertise is an area that I am not-at-all proficient in and I was looking forward to actually delegating these certain “expert” tasks on to someone else… especially someone who knew what they were doing. Well, yesterday, 2 days before the project, this guy flaked. He bailed. He decided that something else was more important and he bailed. Since he was referred to me, I didn’t know what sort of dependability he had, but obviously I know now. He agreed (gave his word) that he’d be there and now, he’s not going to be. Thanks a lot bro.
The second experience happened earlier this week. It was a similar situation (someone flaked) and now I have to be resourceful to pick up the slack. That’s okay, I always am. This situation only became a problem because a young man decided to speak out of turn, promise a service that he couldn’t provide and then try to slyly back out. Guess what?… I’m not buying his story. Thanks a lot bro.
The problem here is that I SHOULD have been able to count on these two guys. I SHOULD have been able to take their word and count on them following through. I SHOULD have been able, once they gave me their word, to assume that their piece would be taken care of. Instead, they split on me and now I am left picking up their slack. This is one of the reasons why I’m always so reluctant to delegate my responsibilities onto other folks. Character flaw of mine, I guess. If you give your word, mean it and follow through. A True Man gives his word and follows through.
Man up!
The Power of a Purposeful Lent
Today is the start to the Liturgical Season of Lent. Lent is often times looked at as a set of rules about not eating meat on Fridays and a time of giving something up; a fairly militaristic/dictatorial outlook if you ask me. I’m not going to get into the specifics about fasting and why we do it, or about what the Church teaches about Lent. What I want to get into is the power that a purposeful Lent can have for a person. As with most things, if we choose to “get by” with the minimum, we’re not going to get much out of it. If, however, we decide to embrace the teachings and challenges of Lent, I believe that we will gain a great deal.
For many of us, Lent tends to be a time of re-commitment, year after year. In order for Lent to be powerful and to make a difference this year (as opposed to Lent being just a period of 40 days that bore no spiritual fruit – like last year), we must be purposeful in our decisions and lifestyle. I suggest that you write you plan down. After you write your plan down, read it regularly. I also suggest that you tell someone else your plan so that they can hold you accountable to your word. Do the same for them.
I suggest that everyone not only give something up (broccoli and peas don’t count) but add some things as well. I typically add a form of prayer, a form of discipline and a form of service to my fasting choice(s). This year, my wife and I (for our family) decided to only purchase the essentials at the grocery store (milk, bread, vegetables, fruit, etc. – the stuff that goes bad quickly) and to eat what’s already in the house, including, no meals out. It’s a fiscal decision and a simplification decision. I’ve made a commitment to making a workout a priority again, to praying the stations of the cross every week, whether by myself or in a group and I’m going to volunteer at least one day at Habitat for Humanity. The “give up” part of my Lenten devotion this year is to only consume water as a beverage, no other liquids (Pepsi, tea, etc). Ouch! In your journey, it might be too much to add a bunch of stuff. Add something, even if it appears to be small. If you can’t handle the small stuff, you’ll never be able to handle the big stuff. May your Lent be powerful.
Man up!
The Most Important Relationship of Their Lives
February 24, 2009 by admin
Filed under Fatherhood
I have the privilege of staying home with my daughters on Tuesdays. Technically, it’s my day off every week. I cherish Tuesdays with them and know that I am blessed to be able to have such dedicated and devoted time taking care of them. I cherish this time because I know, without a doubt, that there will never be a more important relationship in either of my daughter’s lives than their relationship with me. I don’t say this out of pride or out of attention-seeking. I say this because it is the truth.
Think about it… where does a young girl learn about love? Where does a young girl learn how to be treated? Where does a young girl develop her idea of what her future will hold? Where does a young girl learn self-respect and self-esteem? From her father. [This is NOT to underscore the relationships a young girl has with anyone else, especially her mother. It is to show that a father has a vital role in the future of his daughters. In my estimation, the most vital role.] Her father must demonstrate love; love of his spouse, love of his children, love of his God. What happens if a father doesn’t fulfill this role or if he fails to fulfill it in the correct way? Simple, the child’s understanding of how a man should act and treat others is skewed. This skewed understanding can lead to multiple problems, namely disordered relationships.
Fathers, love your wives. Set the example for your daughters of how they should expect a man to treat them. Teach them to set the bar high and to never settle for less than the best. If they see you being disrespectful, unloving and/or hurtful towards their mother, they are going to grow up thinking that similar behavior is normal and okay. It’s not. They will learn not only what love is, but more importantly, how to love and how to receive love from your example. It is a big responsibility, but that’s what you signed up for when you had sex with your wife.
Man up!
A Month In
Just a quick “Thanks!” to all of our loyal subscribers and to our frequent visitors! Your support of this site over the first month of its existence has made it a huge success. In only one month, we’ve averaged over 100+ daily site hits. This means that our exposure on the web is growing and that more and more viewers will read about what it means to be a True Man.
Please continue to send the website link to your family and friends. Join us on Facebook: search the group “TrueManhood.com”.
Man up!
Manliness in the Modern Church
Saturday morning, I spoke at a local Men’s Breakfast. The room was full. The breakfast was hot (and tasty). It was good to see Catholic men coming together to join in brotherhood and to be inspired by a message. The ages ranged from a young teen boy all the way to some wise-men in their 80’s. 95% of the men in the room were fathers. I spoke about “Manliness in the Modern Church”.
The reality of it all is that our Church in America has been overrun by the feminist movement of the 1960’s. The sexual revolution “revolutionized” the decay of gender roles… and in the Church, it spread like wild fire. Manly women and feminine men (<– oxymorons, I know). What we see now is a Church where men are overly passive (if they go at all) and the brunt of the work is accomplished because of women. It sets a terrible example for our families; the children within the Church don’t understand what a man is. The boys go astray because they have no idea what it means to be a man and the girls follow after them… that’s what society tells them is normal and good.
The purpose of my talk was NOT AT ALL to bash women or to say that women shouldn’t do anything in the Church… on the contrary. [Without women in the Church who saw a wide-open-gap that needed filled, our Church would be in a much worse position than it already is.] The purpose was to call men to be men, to light a fire in their souls to live VIRTUOUS lives! To step up and LEAD! To FIGHT and DEFEND the Church, her people (women and children especially) and their own spirituality! Christ didn’t ask the apostles to sit around and wait for people to ask them what they believed. He commissioned them to action – “Come and Follow Me” – “Be fishers of men”.
The talk was well received and I think that it inspired these men to go forth and live out a virtuous, manly life. TrueManhood!
Man up!
Security in Purity – A Message to Women
So many women in our society (especially young women) have a lack of self-worth and a deeply rooted insecurity in who they are. They want to fit in, be accepted and ultimately, receive love. This sometimes (more often than not these days) leads to dressing inappropriately and engaging in promiscuous sexual relationships — all in the name of finding love. They think that in order for a man to think they’re attractive, to be excited by them and to love them, they must “put out”. [After all, they are being fed lies from this menu everyday by society.] The problem arises that this simply is not real, lasting love, and the feelings of insecurity and perpetual emptiness persist. It pains me to see young women who think this way because they should be thinking the exact opposite… that they are an amazing and precious creation from God the Father and that they should never settle for anything less than the best. A man is only worthy to be in their presence if he upholds their dignity and shows them the utmost respect. Women deserve better than what they are typically given and owe it to themselves to require a True Man.
If you are a woman that struggles with self-worth and insecurity, please take my words to heart. You are worth nothing less than the best. You are worth being in a relationship with a man who loves you (real love), who adores you and who respects you. You don’t have to have sex with him before marriage… if he really loves you, he’ll wait for you. (If he’s a True Man and really loves you, he’ll want to wait for you because you’re that special!) When it comes to the way you dress, you describe to men what you are seeking by the way you dress. If you wear something revealing, it tells a man “I want to reveal myself to you”. *Keep in mind the distinction between dressing attractively and dressing to attract. If you want to draw in the right type of man, dress with respect and purity. You’ll find real security, love and worth if you seek purity. You are worth it.
For the women out there that are confident and content in who they are, continue to be an example to women everywhere and continue to set the standard high for what men should be striving for. Never lower your standards.
Following an Example
I have a person in my life that exemplifies something that I strive for. This person, by their actions, calls me to something better than what I produce, in a way that isn’t judgmental, harsh or overtly obvious. This person simply acts in a way that entices me to perform in a better way. This person is my wife, Catherine. What she does is she lives a life that is selfless and always life-giving. When it comes to the kids, the house, work or family time, she always puts the needs of the rest of us first. And she does it in the smallest things. For instance, when she shops for groceries, she always buys what I like over what she likes. When we’re going out as a family, she always gets the girls ready, their bag ready, their toys ready… on and on. 
There’s an important lesson here –> Men can, and should, learn from women. Women typically show us a different perspective, a different point of view, a different emotion, a different thought process and usually a different plan. Notice that I said different… not better, not worse, simply different. This different perspective can (like in the situation above) guide us towards stronger manliness, if we choose to respond. Choosing to respond to a higher calling, to be a better man, is a major piece in achieving True Manhood. Many men think that manliness comes from the denial of the female perspective, however, I know differently. If I held that position, I would be the opposite of my wife… I would be forever selfish and consumed with my own desires. Thanks for setting such a great example Babe.
