God Must Really Love Me
Great perspective from one of my favorite country music singers, Craig Morgan. I think there’s a lot in this video that we can each connect with. I hope it helps give you the perspective you need today. Blessings.
“When I showed the worst, He saw the best. He pulled the world right off my chest. Every day I wake up, I feel blessed. God must really love me.”
Encouraging Men to Get Involved
Here’s my latest article on iibloom.com, posted yesterday.
For some people, it’s a struggle to figure out why men aren’t involved at church and church-related events. When we take a look at a typical parish in the United States, we see a Church that is struggling to entice, encourage and strengthen men as leaders. Why is this? Is it the content, is it the timing, is it the other people in attendance? Is it something internal? Do they feel emasculated by it? Is it a lack of catechesis? Is there a power struggle? Or maybe even something else?
(Please note, this article is a generalization; please keep this in mind. Many men are fully engaged in the life of the Church and many parishes have a thriving men’s population. The point of this article is to find ways to help encourage men who aren’t involved to become involved.)
Men won’t get involved in “stuff” if they don’t see a value in it. Also, they aren’t likely to attend a new event, group or club unless they
know someone else who is attending, and know them well. Another reason men won’t get involved is if they see the stuff as weak, lame or feminine. Unfortunately, many men see Mass, Church events, groups and retreats through this lens. On my website, I have mentioned that the Church is “by women, for women,” and this is a big reason why men aren’t involved. I say this because the vast majority of parishes in the US have a very lopsided attendance and volunteer demographic. The reason for this is because men fail to step up and into leadership and volunteer roles.
Men shouldn’t be forced into praying like women pray, it doesn’t work for us. Men need to pray the way men were created to pray. Men shouldn’t be forced into activities that are similar to women’s activities, it does’t work for us. Men should participate in activities that they were created for. There’s a difference, and that difference is important.
The difference is, as the late Pope John Paul II often talked about, is that men and women were created equal in dignity, but different in role. In order for men to fulfill their role, their lives must be oriented correctly towards what they were created for. A great place to see what it is that men were created for is to read through the creation narrative in The Book of Genesis.
So how do you encourage men to participate? It’s tough to know, exactly. I think that a great way is to get to the heart of a man…that which God put deep inside each man. It’s different from anything else in the world, and hard to explain. See, men want to be rugged and tough. They want to shoot stuff, and fix stuff, and build stuff. They want to protect and defend, they want to love and be loved. They want to feel a purpose and be accomplished. Unfortunately, so many men don’t know how to do any of that stuff.
If we want men to participate, we have to encourage them, build them up and GIVE THEM A PERSONAL INVITATION. Personal invitations, from men they trust and respect, might just be the thing to get a man involved in the Life of the Church. The personal invitation should be in person, not over phone, texting or email. And once the invitation is extended, the event better not stink! Or be lame! And, it better not be associated with ‘sissiness’! If it does, he’ll never come back.
I encourage all the faithful, if they know a man who needs to be involved, to be like St Monica. St Monica, the mother of St Augustine, prayed unceasingly for her son. Augustine was a wandering-soul. He lived a life of incredible sin and his mother still prayed. He became one of the greatest saints and writers of the Church. That man who you know might just be the next St Augustine.
Click HERE for the article on iibloom’s site.
To Clean the Clothes of Those With Dirty Clothing
The Corporal Works of Mercy are an incredibly important concept to be aware of. Mercy is a virtue and allows us a doorway into the life of Christ. Although today’s story isn’t specifically a work of mercy, it helped remind me of how fortunate I am. (Maybe it falls under “Clothe the Naked”?)
Today, I had the opportunity to lend a helping hand to a family in need. It wasn’t in the plans, and it wasn’t ideal, but I did it. So I was lying in bed with my wife, both children asleep for nap time, enjoying her company this afternoon and I received a phone call. It was my father-in-law asking if I was free to help move a washer and dryer. He knew it was not the ideal time (my wife had just come home, I was home watching the kids, it was a holiday-day-off, and so on) but he knew that he could count on me. So, I quickly left the house and made the drive to his home. When I arrived, the washer and dryer were ready and waiting to be hoisted into my truck bed and delivered to their new home.
The washer and dryer were an extra set that my in-laws had in their garage. They were taking up space there, but were still operational. My mother-in-law knows of many families, by way of her school, that are in need, and the family they donated these machines to were in great need. As I loaded the machines in my truck, drove them to the family’s mobile home and as I then proceeded to drive to my home, I felt very lucky to have had the opportunity to play a role in this little gift. It helped me to see the perspective of how great of a life I have, and how crummy of a life others may have. And, in the end, it doesn’t come down to stuff, or status. It comes down to happiness… joy. The family we delivered the washer and dryer didn’t need much. They were content with having a washer and dryer, no matter how old or how many loads of laundry (literally thousands) had been washed in the machines prior to their arrival at their new spot.
I want to urge you to do a corporal work of mercy regularly. It brings joy to your life, which is supposed to be a by-product of the work, but like many things, when you give of yourself without wanting/desiring/requesting anything back, you are actually the one who benefits most from the experience. I’m lucky to have been able to help this family today.
Man up!
In Response to the Negative
On January 8th I posted an article about what I titled “Imagining Bras – A Facebook Stunt“. I received a
significant number of very positive comments from readers who appreciated, and agreed, with what I had written. There were also a few individuals who sent negative comments about what I had written. I responded to these negative comments in another post, titled “In Response – Are You Serious?“. After posting that article, I received even more negative comments, I’d like to respond to some of that negative feedback here.
Overall, the feeling I sensed from those who commented was that I was pointing a finger at the women who posted their bra colors on Facebook. This was not my intent, so I apologize for the misunderstanding. I never intended to point fingers or place blame. Nor did I ever say that women were bad because of what they were doing, but simply that they probably didn’t know that they may have been leading men into sin by speaking about their bras. “Leading men into sin” was a major area of contention for some readers. Some of the comments I received were as follows: “It’s between him and the Lord (if he sins)” and “It’s totally ridiculous to point fingers at us… and to call us bad for causing men to sin”, or this one, “Sin? WTF? Isn’t that just human nature you’re trying to suppress? We are all just animals at the end of the day.”
I’ll make one thing clear: every person, as an individual, is responsible for his/her choices and actions, whether sinful or not. This DOES NOT mean that another person isn’t responsible for their part in influencing that person’s choices and/or actions. Regardless of the philosophy of responsibility, the question that keeps popping into my head when I read these comments is “are you so selfish and self-centered that you have a complete indifference about the salvation of other people?” This causes me deep anguish, knowing that there are people in the world that think like this.
I’ve really been struggling with just how to answer these comments, and I’ve decided that my answer isn’t going to specifically address each issue individually. My answer is intended to challenge my readers to think outside themselves. The more we look beyond our personal desires, the more virtuous we become. I could have left the Facebook stunt alone and not posted about it, but the tug on my heart was to attempt to show the need to be cognizant of how our part in this world effects others. None of us are on an island. Each of us must understand that we contribute (and sometimes, take away) from the welfare of the rest of society.
I know that this post doesn’t completely address the issues of those who made specific comments. My response may come another day. In the meantime, I challenge everyone to look at themselves and see where they can improve in behavior, character and attitude. If we (myself included at the top of that list) work to improve ourselves, and become the best version of ourselves, we will make an incredible change in the world… the world that needs us badly.
Man up!
Tools and Resources
TrueManhood Men’s Ministry offers various tools and resources for men. If you don’t see something on this site, but are curious if we have anything for you, please ask. Find us on social media, or email us at Info@TrueManhood.com.
Regarding pornography addiction: There are numerous resources available for men (and women) who have addictions to pornography. The essential element in dealing with an addiction is that the FIRST STEP towards recovery takes place. The next important step is the continual work. The journey is long and hard but the freedom that comes from breaking the chains of an addiction to pornography is almost overwhelming. I highly recommend checking out TrueManhood’s Guide called “5 Step Plan” and then determine what sort of resource(s) you need to make your plan effective. Here are just a few ideas, and a few resources.
- Serious prayer and a life full of the Sacraments!
- Your PLAN is essential, figure out what it needs to be, then put it into action.
- Accountability with your accountability partner. This person needs to be a man and should not be your female friend, sister, girlfriend, fiancée, or wife.
- Spiritual Direction with a priest. I recommend seeing a priest regularly so that you can obtain necessary graces from the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
- Sexaholics Anonymous – check your local area for locations and times.
- Counseling/Coaching (Email us at ContactUs@TrueManhood.com for more information.) Group Counseling may be a good option as well.
- Support Groups/Men’s Groups
- Books, Prayer Guides, DVDs, CDs, Podcasts, Websites, etc.
- Internet filters, software and firewalls.
I also highly recommend installing Covenant Eyes on all of your devices (including each and every device you have access to). For a reasonable monthly fee, Covenant Eyes offers accountability and filtering. Click HERE to receive a free month of Covenant Eyes.
TrueMan up!
A Father’s Prayer
A Father’s Prayer by Douglas MacArthur
In early 1942, when heading out-numbered United States forces in the Philippines, the late General Douglas MacArthur prayed this prayer many times at morning devotions, according to Major General Courtney Whitney, his long-time military aide. This prayer for his son, Arthur, is a spiritual legacy any son would cherish.
“Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee-and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.
Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength.
Then, I, his father, will dare to whisper, “I have not lived in vain.”
Man up!
Tuesdays with Daddy – Morning Offering and Daily Readings
January 12, 2010 by admin
Filed under Blog, Tuesdays with Daddy
I had an idea to implement some special prayer time and Scripture reading into each day with my girls. Even though they are young, I’m finding it very fruitful. My two year old and one year old don’t listen intently, nor would they have total comprehension if they did. That’s not the point. The point is that each and every day, in the morning, my children know that God is number one. Here’s what I’ve been doing.
Every morning, I get my children from their rooms, we do the necessary change of diapers/underwear, comb the hair and do morning hugs and kisses, and then we head into the kitchen for breakfast. Before any food is consumed, and before any milk in sippy cups is drunk, I have the girls join me in the sign of the cross, and I hold their hands as I offer our day for Christ. I want them to get in the habit of praying, of giving God our “firsts”, if you will. I also want them to know that we should make a sacrificial gift of ourselves to God.
After making our morning offering, I then put their bowls and drinks in front of them, and they begin to eat. This is prime time for their attention, so I began reading them the Scripture readings from each day; Sunday or weekday. I found an “app” on my phone that has all the readings from each day, which works out nicely because I always have my phone handy.
This entire process takes just under five minutes. My girls “stay with me” that long, so it doesn’t become tiresome, like some other prayer options we’ve tried. One of the best things about spending this time with them is that I’m actively participating in their spiritual growth. Their spiritual growth is my responsibility as their father. I cannot take that lightly. They see that prayer and time with the Word is important to me and they become used to it.
I’m going to continue this process until I see the need to change things up.
Man up!
