A Father to a Son

My new name is Dave DiNuzzo Sr… yep, we found out that we’re having a boy!  I am excited beyond words. I love all of my children, but to know that I now have the responsibility to raise a boy into TrueManhood is an honor and privilege. God has entrusted me with many things in life (such as being a father to daughters! – what a task!) and I couldn’t be more excited to embrace the challenges, peaks & valleys, and joys that will come in my life.

Recently, I received an email from a mother whose teenage son has been getting into some trouble and coming home drunk.  He’s the new kid at school and really struggling.  She asked for advice on what to do for her son, here’s what I wrote to her:

“First, what is his relationship with his father like?  This is the foundation of a young boy – how he sees his father will dictate much of what he does in life.  If his father is not involved, GET HIM INVOLVED.  All fathers must show their sons (and daughters – but that’s another discussion altogether) that they 1. love them 2. cherish them 3. are proud of them.  A father has to prove to his children, with his actions, that he cares.  One great way is simply by spending time with the child, doing something the child enjoys.  Many times, the child likes to do what the father likes to do, simply because the child knows that they’ll be able to be with him.  A son learns by his father’s example, first and foremost.  If a father loves and cherishes his children, they will know.  They will then be much quicker to correlate the love of their father with the love of God the Father!  If his father isn’t involved, stress the importance of his involvement.  A son wants to please his father, but if they are fighting, disagreeing and at each other’s throats all the time, the son will “protect” himself and will disengage.  “Fight with my father all the time or spend time with other kids that don’t like their parents either?”  — easy decision, if you’re 17.

A potential problem here is the influence of the kids at his new school.  Being the “new kid” is never fun, unless you show to all the other kids that you’re cool enough, smart enough, have enough “game” (as they call it) and that you deserve to be welcomed in.  The peer pressure for a 17 yr old boy to fit in is intense.  Ask him about this sort of topic and see what’s weighing on his mind.  If you attempt to talk to your son, which I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE AND RECOMMEND, do it as you would any adult.  Choose to respect him and his developmental stage enough to talk clearly and openly with him.  Showing him you love him will open his barriers, and hopefully, after a period of time, you will be able to get in.  If you’ve never talked to him about something like this before, start slow.  Don’t be a bull in a china cabinet, be soft and gentle, yet firm and clear with your expectations.”

Clearly, I could have continued on, mentioning many more tactics and ideas, but that’s not the point.  I want to draw your attention to the first part, about the father’s role.  As fathers (or one-day-fathers) we should all be aware of our influence on our children.  This is the most important human relationship we have, second only to our relationship with our spouse.  As fathers, we must strive to get better at being a dad.

Look at your life and your interaction with your children.  Look also at the interaction with your wife.  Are you being the example you really want to be?  Are you loving as Christ loves?  Are you giving your all?  Are you being selfish?  If you aren’t where you want/need to be, work to get there!

TrueMan up!

An Act of Heroism

This clip isn’t easy to watch, and my heart goes out to this mother and child.  What a great example of virtue and TrueManhood from this husband and father.  The man’s father puts it well by saying that love will fix the situation.  It may seem ridiculous to some, but love heals.  Afterall, do you think God liked seeing His Son dying on the cross?  Not a chance.  But, the love which Christ poured out for us, by giving up His life, was love at its core.  This man, Brian Wood, knew what it meant to love.

 

 

 

This piece shows me several things:

1. Our society has a drastically obvious double-standard about pro-life issues.  Notice how this pregnancy happens to be a baby – in this setting – but in most others, it’s simply a blob, a tissue-mass or an embryo.
2. Our society drastically misunderstands virtue.  If you notice, several times the gentleman’s actions were misinterpreted, saying that he made a choice and acted.  Although he did make a choice to sacrifice himself, he acted out of virtue.  The virtue of courage was obviously a part of this man’s life.
3. Our society will likely see a video clip like this and continue to abuse alcohol and drugs.  Selfishness runs rampant in our culture.  Fight it by not being selfish.  Be a selfless servant.

My condolences to the family.

TrueMan u!

Support TM – Shirts on Sale

Small ministries, like TrueManhood.com, rely on the faithful donations of men and women who believe in the mission of the ministry.  For that reason, I ask you to consider purchasing a TrueManhood.com t-shirt.  They are on sale at Aquinas and More at 30% off.  The sale of these shirts goes to help fund the various costs associated with running and maintaining a small ministry.  Currently, only one design is available – more may be available in the future.  The shirt contains the third stanza of The Divine Praises, a prayer that is prayed at the end of benediction.  The shirt reads: “Blessed Be Jesus Christ, True God and TrueMan.”

If you are local to Colorado Springs, you are welcome to head in to Aquinas and More Catholic Goods in person to save on shipping costs.

I trust that you may have similar experiences as I have had while wearing my shirt.  It takes guts to boldly witness to Christ’s truth, to His divinity and to His humanity.  Wear it with pride and be assured in your witness – “Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” – Matthew 5:10.

The story of how this stanza became the slogan for TrueManhood.com may sound simple – The Divine Praises came first, so obviously TrueManhood came from the prayer, right?  Nope.  When I decided to start the blog, I had a list of about 25 different names that I was thinking about using.  I finally decided on truemanhood and quickly checked to see if the web address was available for purchase.  It was, so I got it.  It wasn’t until approximately 9 months after having founded TrueManhood.com that I was kneeling in Adoration and it hit me.  Our priest was praying the prayers of benediction and as we do each Wednesday, the congregation repeated the prayers of The Divine Praises.  “Blessed Be God… Blessed Be His Holy Name… Blessed Be Jesus Christ, True God and True Man.”  It hit me!  What a perfect saying for TrueManhood.com!  I had heard this prayer hundreds of times – why hadn’t I noticed it before?!  I think it was God’s providence, allowing me to be affirmed in the apostolic work we were trying to accomplish as well as encouraged by understanding fully that God was watching over us.  He gives us what we can handle, when we can handle it.  This was a great day in the life of the ministry.

“Blessed Be Jesus Christ, True God and TrueMan!”

TrueMan up!

Porn Proves Deadly

As if our human reason wasn’t enough to tell us that pornography has deadly effects, here’s a story that surely will.

Picture this… An Ohio truck driver was barreling down the highway in upstate New York.  The driver, at this point sleep-deprived, is distracted.  “What is distracting him?” you ask.  The answer: Porn, being streamed on his laptop.  The driver’s rig hit a disabled car on a New York State highway.  The truck driver, a one Thomas Wallace, has been sentenced to three-to-nine years in prison for killing the driver, Julie Stratton, a 33-year-old mother of two.  Stratton’s vehicle was disabled because she had hit a deer and was waiting for assistance in the passing lane shoulder.

Wallace pleaded guilty in May to second-degree manslaughter. Authorities say he’d slept no more than four of the 27 hours before the Dec. 12, 2010 crash that killed Stratton.  The trucker tearfully apologized to the victim’s family at Wednesday’s sentencing.  Sorry bro, your apology isn’t enough.  Your apology doesn’t bring back a woman, a wife, a mother.

I was tempted to include a picture I came across that had “Fatal Accident” spelled out on top, with a graphic of an ambulance, the road and broken glass.  However, I didn’t.  This was no accident.  An accident is when a bird poops on our head, or when we bump into someone walking around a corner.  Wallace should have taken responsibility for his (extremely selfish) actions and disregard for humanity.  “You can stuff your sorrys in a sack, mister.”

Let’s get one thing straight here – pornography kills.  Sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally.  Most of the men, women and children that view pornography every day won’t end up being in a situation like Wallace, unfortunately, some might.  However, THEY ARE ALL in danger of killing their souls, their relationships, their ability to love, their ability to give, their ability to reason properly.  Pornography kills.

Aristotle once said:  “the angry man listens to reason, though not perfectly, but the lustful man does not listen to reason at all.”

TrueMan up!