Tweet-Talk… Porn’s No Good, Ochocinco

February 9, 2012 by  
Filed under Blog

I don’t tweet.  I have a Twitter account, and my Facebook page updates are automatically put on Twitter, but as for following, tweeting, re-tweeting, etc… I haven’t gotten into it.  I can see, however, from the post below, that Twitter can actually bring about some good.  Here’s a status from yesterday’s (2/8/12) #4 most mentioned person, my friend, John Leyendecker.

THROWING STONES AT OCHO’S PORNOGRAPHY – read below or view on the FOCUS Equip website.

So yesterday Chad Ochocinco (his Twitter handle is: @ochocinco) responded to me (@johnleyendecker) on Twitter! Can you believe it? I mean, c’mon, the guy has 3.2 million followers and he responded to me! This was huge! My kids have his Bengals jerseys (sorry Patriots fans) both with Johnson and Ochocinco on the back. My 4 year old son’s nickname is Sojo, which he immediately turned into Sojo-Cinco. Needless to say, we are HUGE fans.

What was said was troubling, but not surprising.

Here is the thread:

It all started when a Twitter follower of Chad Ochocinco’s asked him about a pornography website.

Ochocinco responds:

@ochocinco A very interesting site, I get most of my creative ideas from there to keep HER guessing what’s next.

In response to this tweet, I tweeted:

@johnleyendecker: @ochocinco you claim to be Christian, yet look at porn? You are a joke. Be a man. Honor your God and women. Kids look up to you.

This is when Ochocinco responds directly to my tweet:

@ochocinco: I tend to back slide every now and then kind sir. RT@johnleyendecker: @ochocinco you claim to be Christian, yet look at porn?

@johnleyendecker: just hope that people realize you are backsliding, not glorifying it. Peace & grace to you!

@ochocinco: I love you to oh Holy One RT @johnleyendecker: just hope that people realize you are backsliding, not glorifying it. Peace & grace to you!

From this interaction, almost 300 people on Twitter replied to our conversation. Some defended him and some encouraged me…but they mostly defended him.

Twitter only allows 140 characters, so I wanted to tell Chad and others what I really meant:

First, I want to apologize because in my zeal I left out a key phrase that would have given better context. I meant to say “you claim to be a Christian, yet you are glorifying looking at pornography.” So for this, I ask your forgiveness.

But the rest, I have to admit, I meant. Men who look at pornography and have no remorse, regret, or even go so far as to make it seem creative as you did Chad are a joke. Not joke, funny, but as in a joke not to be taken seriously.

I appreciate your comment about backsliding. I know a lot about backsliding. I know a lot about my own brokenness being what Christ is using in me to heal others. I know very well St. Paul’s words, “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15) I have to admit Chad, I don’t take it lightly.

You see, I’ve been in ministry for 10 years and have seen the destruction that pornography causes in men’s and women’s lives. I have friends that work to liberate women and children from the sex slave industry that is built on the foundation of pornography. I will not quote to you the statistics or the studies, you can read them all on your own, but I want to share with you my heart and extend grace to you. Maybe you don’t know how destructive porn is? Maybe to justify your own addiction, you make light of it? Or worse, maybe you talk about it because you think it’s what your fans want to hear? I’m not sure, but I want to assume the best of you.

As men we are called to be responsible. A man who follows Christ takes responsibility. There is nothing funny or cool about pornography. Women have a tremendous dignity, a dignity that should be honored and guarded by men, not exploited and degraded. We are responsible for those men and women as leaders. Chad, you are a leader. Many young men and women look up to you as an example whether you like that or not. St. Paul says, “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)

I ask you, and remind myself of it as I ask it of you, to have the courage of your convictions. If you are trapped in bondage to pornography, ask for help. If you are embarrassed or feel guilty about some of things you have said, let’s repent and do better. Women deserve better, God deserves better, and as an adopted son of God, you deserve better too Chad. I wrote this because I care about you bro. I hope it can be an encouragement to you. If not, and you think I’m completely off-base, please resolve to pray for me. Please see that I wasn’t throwing stones at you or judging your heart, only God knows a man’s heart, but I can’t let a brother in Christ actions go unchecked, especially when it is hurting so many.

John converted to Catholicism in 1999 after a very prodigal lifestyle. It is from this place of brokenness that he shares what Christ has done in his life. He received his degree in classics and theology from Xavier University. Working with FOCUS at Colorado State for 4 1/2 years has made him passionate for the work of the New Evangelization. Currently John and his wife of 9 years, Lisa, live in Fort Collins, Colorado, with their five children.

You can follow him on Twitter @johnleyendecker

Tuesdays With Daddy – Times Gone By

February 7, 2012 by  
Filed under Blog, Fatherhood, manliness, Tuesdays with Daddy

A series of posts I used to write were called “Tuesdays with Daddy.”  [They’re in the blog archives under the Fatherhood tab.]  These posts were about my time at home, on Tuesdays, with my daughters.  At the time, I had two toddler daughters that I was lucky enough to be able to spend special time with on Tuesdays.  Today, I took the opportunity to stop working (I mostly work from home) and I went outside with them.  It was a beautiful day and I figured it would do us all some good.

Nowadays, it’s not just my two girls, I also have a one year old son, Dave Jr.  He’s really awesome, and we had a great time outside today.  (Maybe if I can get the video edited together quickly enough, I will post the video of him riding on his four-wheeler by himself!  Yes folks, he turned 1 last week and can ride the thing by himself!)  All three of them were all over our fields and sincerely enjoying the outdoors, the sunshine, and even the brisk breeze that was lightly blowing today.  I was running around with them, laughing and joking, holding them and hugging them, throwing them in the air, pushing them on the tree swing, watching them on the four-wheeler, playing t-ball, helping them ride their bikes, and showing them the old tractors.  What a way to rejuvenate!

When I came in the house, it was time to get back to work.  When I sat back down at my computer, I was so filled with joy, it was almost hard to sit still.  I took an hour out of my workday to be with the people who are the most important in my life.  Not only will they remember it, I will remember it.  Not only did it bring life to them today, it brought life to me today.  What a blessing my children are to me.

If you’re a father, and you’re like me, you often get bogged down in the “stuff that has to get done.”  Work, helping your wife, chores around the house, helping your wife, this meeting and that meeting, taking care of the vehicles, oh yeah don’t forget prayer, helping your wife, going to the bank, making money, helping your wife… on and on.  The “stuff” never stops.  But without a doubt, your kids grow up more and more each day.  Every once and a while, just drop what you’re doing and take your kids outside.  If your kids are anything like mine, and they probably are, they really don’t care what they get to do with Daddy, they just know that they get to be with Daddy!  Don’t let another day go by without spending this invaluable time with your kids.

Last thing… I have been really frustrated lately.  I plan to write more on this in a coming post.  My frustration stems from things that I see in our society, in the government, the 2012 presidential election, things that are happening in and to the Church and so on.  I have to remember, and ask you to consider, this… our world isn’t doomed.  Our world is set for joy, as long as we teach our kids how to live joyfully.  Once we and those who die before us are gone, our kids are in charge.  If they know how to live with joy, our world will be just fine.

TrueMan up!

A Priest, A Rabbi, and a Lawyer – Civil Liberties Under (Blatant) Attack

February 3, 2012 by  
Filed under Blog

Here’s a pretty good video about the HHS “Healthcare” Mandate.  If you haven’t seen the previous post from Archbishop Dolan, please click HERE to watch that video and read that post first, then watch this video.

They fail, in my opinion, to really distinguish one of the biggest problems here.  Yes, the cover the civil liberty assault well, and

certainly the Rabbi spoke well about this not being a Catholic-only issue, and so forth.  However, what they fail to mention is that there is a fundamental difference between what the Catholic Church teaches on contraception, sterilization and abortion versus the idea of “women’s health.”  No matter how it is spun, even by medical doctors (OB/GYNs at the forefront), contraception, sterilization, and abortion ARE not healthcare… they hurt women and kill babies.

For those in favor of this mandate, they state issues about, as the press secretary did over and over in his press conference, “increasing access to these important preventative services.”  This is their attempt at watering down the mandate so that it seems as though it won’t really effect that many people.  This is a lie and is a blatant one at that.

Men – as you see this Priest, Rabbi, and Lawyer doing, you must also do.  You must stand against the attacks that are befalling our country, our communities, our women and children, and our Church.  This must end.

TrueMan up!

A TrueMan’s Marriage

February 2, 2012 by  
Filed under Blog, Faith

I just learned that February 7-14 is National Marriage Week.  I guess it’s fitting, with Valentine’s Day and all those commercialized red hearts.  Sort of cliche, if you ask me.  But, nonetheless, it is a real thing.  Even the US Catholic Bishops are behind this.  I’m putting this out now, a few days ahead, so you can get thinking, planning, and doing!

I’m all for marriage.  It is an incredible blessing to be a married man.  It challenges me, no doubt… but at the end of the day, and hopefully at the end of my life, I will be sanctified because of it.  There’s really nothing like giving your whole self to someone else for your entirety here on earth.  Something to ponder, for sure.

To consider where you are with things in your marriage, or if you aren’t married, to maybe consider what you want in your future marriage, here’s a blurb from the USCCB website on National Marriage Week:

February: A Time To Celebrate Love And Marriage

It’s the month of romance! Here are a couple February events to celebrate love and marriage:

“Let’s Strengthen Marriage” is the theme of National Marriage Week, Feb. 7-14, 2012. National Marriage Week, now in its third year, is a collaborative effort to promote marriage as a benefit to husbands, wives and the community, as well as the best environment in which to raise children. Resources for couples and organizations who want to promote marriage are available on the website.

World Marriage Day will be observed on Sunday, February 12. For more than 30 years this Day has been promoted by Worldwide Marriage Encounter. If you’re looking for resources that your parish can use to celebrate World Marriage Day, check out the WWME website.

In honor of National Marriage Week and World Marriage Day, here are three FAQs that the website frequently responds to.

(1) We just got engaged. Do you have any suggestions for tools that can help us to deepen our relationship?

First, congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Try starting with the Personality Audit. It’s a great way to understand yourself and your fiance(e) better.  Family of origin issues arise in many marriages. Take the Family of Origin exercise to discover how your experiences growing up were similar or different.  Most of us tend to avoid topics that are sensitive, or where we think we might disagree with our spouse or fiance(e). Here are some ideas for those “Must-Have Conversations” on such topics as intimacy, finances, and commitment.

(2) How can we find a marriage education or marriage enrichment class in our area?

Many organizations—religious and others—offer programs to help couples improve their marital skills. These classes can cover everything from communication and conflict resolution to budgeting and time management. To find a program in your area, try starting with the Smart Marriages directory of programs. Also check out the list of classes on the National Marriage Week website.

Another possibility is to contact your diocesan Family Life Office. For contact information, go to the Family Life Office locator on the homepage.  Finally, many couples at all stages of marriage have benefitted from a Marriage Encounter weekend. For information go to the Worldwide Marriage Encounter website.

(3)  My spouse and I are experiencing problems in our marriage. Where can we go for help?

First of all, check out the article “Finding Help When Your Marriage in Trouble.” It explains a range of options for couples who are experiencing marital difficulties.  If you’re looking for a counselor, try asking your pastor or parish staff member for a recommendation. Many parishes maintain lists of counselors who deal with various issues. The counselor should have specific training and experience in marriage counseling.  Many diocesan Catholic Charities offices offer counseling or can refer you. Contact information for Catholic Charities is usually available on the diocesan website.

Couples with serious problems may consider making a Retrouvaille weekend. Retrouvaille has a solid record of bringing couples back from the brink of divorce. Information about local Retrouvaille weekends is available on their website.

TrueMan up!