Some People Just Don’t Get It

Working for a ministry that has chosen to take on a moral evil, pornography, we find ourselves getting all kinds of responses.  Today, we received an email from, as he put it, “a disgusted individual”.  If after we handle the situation I deem it appropriate to place some of the things he wrote in his “disgusted” email on the site, I will.  For now, however, I will speak to the general tone of pornography and the misunderstood ideology that often accompanies pornography in our country.

Porn is harmful.  The women in the sex industry that have turned their lives away from porn admit this to no end.  (Check out the work former porn actress Shelley Lubben is doing.)  Women are being exploited and MEN SHOULD NEVER EXPLOIT WOMEN, whether they walk into the situation or not.  IT IS NOT OKAY TO EXPLOIT WOMEN!!!

Porn is not a “free expression of sexuality”.  It is a disorder – an intimacy disorder.  The “disgusted individual” assumed that because we were out in front of a sexually oriented business (SOB) with our protest last evening, that we are against sex.  Not the case.  In fact, ALL of the men who were out in front of the SOB last evening are very fond of sex – but only within the context of marriage and chastity within marriage.  We don’t try to suppress sexuality, we want people to know about the right use of sexuality, which is never the use or abuse of an individual.  If sex is performed outside of the marital union, it is abused.  Plain and simple.  There is no way around it.

The “disgusted individual” also commented that we were somehow related to radical Muslim extremists that bombed the World Trade Centers nearly 10 years ago.  Can you believe this guy?!?!  We’re peacefully and prayerfully protesting a business that exploits women, destroys marriages and harms children (not to mention leads to abortion, rape, incest, domestic violence, child abuse, contraception and divorce) NOT blowing up buildings with airplanes.  Nice try, buddy, but that’s not going to fly with us.

And, he mentioned several times in his email that we were “forcing our beliefs down other people’s throats.”  I’ve heard this a lot before.  By standing out in front of this SOB, we are not forcing anything.  We are trying to raise awareness of the danger and evil of pornography by spreading the Truth.

Bob – I hope that you read this and I hope that we can converse some day in person.  You are misguided sir and your argumentation is lacking.  I hope to, in our in person conversation, share with you, with the utmost respect and charity, the reality of what’s going on with the sex industry and how your disdain for those of us who are “do gooders”, as you referred to in the email, are attempting to make our world a better, safer, more moral and healthy place to live.

TrueMan up!

Vince DeStefano – Movement of My Heart in Words

My friend and fellow TKM brother, Vince DeStefano, sent me this small excerpt of something he wrote while he was praying this morning.  Vince is real – he’s a TrueMan in every sense of the word, and he’s sincere.  He’s a great man, a great husband, a great father and a great friend.  He’s incredibly generous and humble.

Regardless of what your sin is, read through this and put yourself in the place of “I”.

“Lost in a deep thicket, hidden in an unknown forest, I cry out in desperation.  Christ approaches me directly,cutting through material with pure light and creating a straight path in his wake.  He reaches me, and I feel intense shame and unworthiness.  I plead to him, and though He remains wordless in reply I understand that my sins encumber me, realizing now that my feet are tangled in the brush.  Christ turns and walks back from whence He came, taking with Himself the brilliance yet leaving an illuminated path, still straight, and seeming to implore me to determine the nature of the weeds which entangle my feet in order to destroy them and then fully pursue my purpose. While of course wishing to remain in His intense light of reprieve from temporal encumbrance, I’m left with renewed Faith, Hope, and compelling Love, filled with eagerness and determination to tear myself from Satan’s thorns and run after my Savior.”

TrueMan up!

Rosary Masculinity – May, the Month of Mary

I often tell men that the Rosary, although a bit contrary to our initial inclination, is an incredibly powerful prayer for men.  After all, if we want to be more like Christ (the perfection of masculinity), shouldn’t we think about, imitate and meditate on his life?  What a perfect tool the Church gives us in the Rosary!

Here’s a great article from Jason Godin, posted on Catholic News Agency yesterday, May 2, 2011 about Rosary Masculinity…

Some elements of our culture are calling men to embrace a very dark form of masculinity, based on violence, domination of women and self-adulation – messages that are found in video games, movies and music.

Yet real men know the emptiness, futility and ultimate falsehood of this view of life. As we begin this month of May – this month of Mary – men from all walks of life should accept the challenge of living a different form of masculinity by praying the rosary daily. Men who commit themselves to contemplating the rosary mysteries will discover a treasury of lessons on how to define masculinity and live it actively, fearlessly and full of hope.

Joyful Mysteries

The Joyful Mysteries, recited on Mondays and Saturdays, provide a basic definition of masculinity. By exalting in the fact that Mary answered “Yes” to the angel Gabriel at the Annunciation, men can see that the masculine life is worth living as God chose to live among men. Placing oneself prayerfully in the sandals of St. Joseph at the Nativity helps men appreciate how the masculine life, even in its earliest stage, is also precious and worth defending. The Presentation reveals how men can find authentic masculinity by remaining obedient observers of absolute truth found through, in, and with Christ. Living, defending, and obediently observing absolute truth is not easy for men in any age of history, but as Zachariah must have realized upon learning that his barren wife, Elizabeth, carried a child, nothing is impossible with God.

Luminous Mysteries

The Luminous Mysteries, the latest addition to the rosary added by Blessed John Paul II, are recited on Thursdays. In these “Mysteries of Light,” the public ministry of Jesus Christ between his Baptism and his Passion reveals to men how to transform their masculinity into fearless action. Jesus proclaimed the Kingdom of God by instructing others with teachings and parables. The lessons continue to remain relevant for men in their mission for masculinity, as Jesus addressed such topics as anger, adultery, divorce, oaths, retaliation, almsgiving, and fasting (cf. Mt 3-7). The Wedding at Cana and, later, the Transfiguration, confirm how real masculinity requires not only listening to Jesus when instructed by Mary, but to do so fearlessly (cf. Jn 2:5, Mt 17:7). The Institution of the Eucharist nourishes men with the fact that such fearless, active masculinity is never accomplished alone.

The Sorrowful Mysteries

The Sorrowful Mysteries, recited on Tuesdays and Fridays, illustrate for men the personal price of responsible masculinity. Jesus’ agonizing prayer on the Mount of Olives reminds men that even the Alpha Male struggled but persevered in love for mankind (cf. Lk 22:42). Jesus himself suffered harsh physical pain when scourged at the pillar and crowned with thorns by mocking soldiers. Masculinity demands men constantly to carry their own crosses – in their families, workplace, and communities – with the same humble stamina of Jesus. The crucifixion illuminates in a profound way how masculinity requires that men must ultimately “die to self” in their service and love of others.

Glorious Mysteries

The Glorious Mysteries, recited on Wednesdays and Sundays, provide masculinity with crucial dimensions of renewal, hope andnobility. When contemplating the Resurrection, men realize how they can always rediscover and relive masculinity even when they stumble. The Ascension directs masculine sights away from mundane goals and toward a destiny of heavenly triumph. Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit descended upon the disciples, shows how the power of the Holy Spirit can provide even a timid masculinity with an inner strength. Finally, the Assumption and Coronation of the Blessed Virgin Mary illustrate masculinity as a knightly privilege, where men walk beside Mary, the Queen of the Angels and Saints, when contemplating the face of Christ.

Men, use this month to pray the rosary on a daily basis. But be prepared. Heeding the challenge just might make you think and act more like a man of God.

* Jason Godin teaches U.S. history at Blinn College in Bryan, Texas, where he lives with his wife and two children.

And, just as a shout out to a friend and former college and master’s level professor… I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Edward Sri’s book “The New Rosary in Scripture” as a guide to help you pray the Rosary from a Scriptural standpoint.  It is a great resource.

TrueMan up!

Making Sense of It

Allow me first to write that I am not a moral theologian.  I don’t speak from a substantial place of authority on this post (nor do I normally), but as usual, I want to share some thoughts on the topic from a manliness standpoint.

With the recent news of the killing of Osama Bin Laden, there has been a lot of talk on how one should respond.  I’ve heard of many different responses – some that I agree with, some that I disagree with (and that I’m opposed to) and some that are neutral.  Have you heard these responses?… “USA! USA! USA!” or “We should not rejoice in the death of a man.”  or “He had it coming!” or “Proverbs 11:10” or “I won’t lie and say I wasn’t excited about last night’s news.”  The list goes on and on.  Many responses get much worse.

First, in response to the outpouring of patriotism… we, as proud Americans, should always have an outpouring of patriotism, not just on July 4th, on Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day or on a day when one of the worst terrorist leaders and threats to America has been eradicated.  Do you always fly the stars and stripes, or only when it is fitting for celebration or your cause?  I proudly fly our flag every day.

Next, in response to “He had it coming” or other hate-filled responses.  Yes, the man was a terrorist and a militant one at that.  He was responsible for countless deaths, all across the globe.  I guess we could say, “Live by the automatic rifle, die by the automatic rifle.”  Nonetheless, the response should not be joy in his death.  Instead, I suggest going beyond the initial emotional response and thinking rationally about the situation.  (This is NOT to say that Bin Laden didn’t risk the sort of demise that he experienced.  Of course, in the militaristic fashion in which he lived, with nearly the entire world’s military forces looking for him, and with the excessive force that he displayed, there was a good chance that he was going to die in a fire fight.  And certainly, there is something to be said about our incredible troops going in and attempting to disarm and arrest Bin Laden so that he could be tried in a military court of law.)  It is hard for some of you reading to believe that there’s a better response to Bin Laden’s death than ecstatic rejoicing.  I challenge that idea by suggesting that we look at it in a different light.  (Note: this doesn’t take away what he did, what he was responsible for, who he instructed and what they might have done or will do, or any thing else.  It is merely the virtuous response.)

Here’s what I wrote on Facebook earlier today and some of the responses that my post got.  I wrote “I don’t know about anybody else, but considering that my brother, some of my friends and many other great Americans and Foreigners are in the middle east fighting for our freedom, we should rejoice not in the death of a man, but in the hope that the war may end and peace (which has never seen the light of day in the middle east) may come to all peoples.” I then commented, “Here is what the Church, our guide, says: “In the face of a man’s death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred.” – Vatican Statement on the Death of Bin Laden”

These are the comments that followed:

• “Thank you. I was kind of sickened at the reaction here, actually.”  (From a cadet at the Air Force Academy who witnessed her fellow cadets assembling in the middle of campus to celebrate the death of Bin Laden with cheers of excitement, dancing, loud music, chanting and so on.)
• I then responded, “I saw a video from last night at the Academy and thought I should post something. Although there is pride in being American, it should be there every day, not merely when we have a military victory and certainly should not be at the death of any man, woman or child.”
• “Thank you David for being the voice of reason. I have been very conflicted about this event since I learned of it last night during the Phillies game and the crowd started cheering “USA.” I couldn’t understand why people were so proud to have killed somebody–even a man responsible for the deaths of so many others.”
• “If we are going to stand up and say that all life is precious, we need to mean “all”. Even when we struggle to find forgiveness and compassion for a sinner.”
• “Right on, Dave”

Now, I’m sure that many others wanted to respond differently.  I understand, and can relate because of the many thoughts that ran through my head when I heard the news of Bin Laden’s death, to be glad that the hunt for Bin Laden is over.  I had shimmering hopes that maybe the war will come to an end sooner than planned.  I wondered if my brother, or anyone I know who is serving in the middle east, was a part of this mission.  I wondered what my father, a 30-year Air Force Veteran and Veteran of two tours in Viet Nam thought.  I even thought things in regards to Bin Laden’s Muslim Extremist faith and how all that might play out in the coming days, weeks and months.  None of that matters.  A man is dead and we, as Catholics, should mourn the fact that he did not know Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.  Life is not about military victories, nor parties in the street, nor anything else.  Life is about achieving the ultimate gift of eternal life in Heaven with God.  Plain and simple.

This probably shouldn’t be the last time we discuss this topic, so if you’ve got thoughts, comments, or suggestions, leave them below in the comment section.

Again, here’s what the Catholic Church said today: “In the face of a man’s death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred.”

TrueMan up!

“Winner at Home”

I saw this on the Father’s For Good website and thought it would be good to post here as well.  Great job, Trever Miller!

“Cardinals’ lefthander, a Knight of Columbus, has challenges on and off the field”

By Brian Caulfield

“As he begins his 12th season as a major league pitcher, Trever Miller is familiar with baseball’s performance measurements: earned run average, strikeout-walk ratio, winning percentage, saves and a dozen other metrics. A lanky lefty reliever with the St. Louis Cardinals, who specializes in retiring left-handed batters in late innings, he even holds a major league record for consecutive mound appearances without a win or loss decision. Having pitched for five teams, the 37-year-old hurler’s lifetime record is a respectable 18-16.

But as a father of a child who was born with two holes in her heart and a genetic disorder so rare that it doesn’t have a name, Miller measures success in life in more basic ways these days – the next breath, a winning smile, a new movement from his daughter Grace. She was not supposed to leave the hospital after birth yet turns a miraculous 7 years old in June.

“Faith goes with the territory,” Miller said last month during the Cardinals’ spring training in Florida. “Grace is my hero and my inspiration. She has overcome more physical tests than I ever have in a lifetime of baseball.”

Miller is a member of the Knights of Columbus’ Our Lady of the Rosary Council 8104 in Land o’ Lakes, Florida. He was brought into the fraternal Order by his father, Terry Miller, who serves as financial secretary for the same council. Father and son are both Fourth Degree Knights in Fr. Malachy Hugh Maguire Assembly 2741.

“I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school” in Louisville, Kentucky, said the younger Miller. He attends Mass each Sunday and when Mass is offered in the Cardinals’ clubhouse through an arrangement with the group Catholic Athletes for Christ.

One of Kentucky’s all-time great baseball stars at Trinity High School, Miller was drafted by the Detroit Tigers after graduating. He spent a few years in the minors before breaking into the big leagues in 1996.

A year earlier, he married Pari, his wife of 16 years, and they have three children: Tyler, 14, who is a member of the Columbian Squires; McKenzie, 13, and Grace. After his youngest child was born, he and his wife had a choice to make about her treatment. The couple opted for life and hope by approving surgery to close the holes in her tiny heart.

Today, she cannot walk or talk, and a simple cold can mean a trip to the emergency room to prevent fluid from filling her lungs. Still, Grace attends school as often as she can and receives regular therapy.

“She’s a battler, she’s tough,” said Terry Miller, her grandfather. “She’s the only child with her condition who has lived beyond one year, so nothing would surprise me, even if she started talking one day. I’m sure she’d have a lot to tell us.”

Trever Miller tells of dark days a few years ago when he was angry with everyone, including God, over his daughter’s condition.

“We were stunned, we didn’t understand,” he recalled. “We had to stress acceptance, and as a father I wanted to fix her situation and I couldn’t. It was a helpless feeling.”

As a man who makes his living by his physical abilities, acceptance has been difficult. “Dads are looked to as Mr. Fix It, but no matter what I couldn’t fix this. It was tough that I couldn’t control this.”

He now pours his frustration into running, completing two 26.2-mile marathons and wearing a t-shirt that reads: “26 for Grace, .2 for me.”

“I think our faith in God and his running was his saving,” his wife said.

Miller agrees. “One thing all this has done is to keep our family praying,” he said. “Because of this, Grace has so many other people praying for her too.”

Trever Miller is hoping for a stellar year with the Cardinals, but he knows that his biggest wins will be at home with his family.”

Eyes on the Cross

Men… this Easter, I urge you to look towards the ultimate example of manliness – Jesus Christ.  He exemplifies all of the traits that we innately desire… courage, strength, prudence, wisdom.  He is our guide.  He is our model.  He is our way.  His sacrificial gift on the cross doesn’t end, it goes on.

If you ever have trouble praying, or simply want to attempt to prevent distraction and daydreaming in prayer, I suggest that you get a well-made crucifix or a well-done painting/picture of Jesus.  Gaze upon the crucifix and allow the reality of His sacrifice to sink in.  Personally, I used to carry around a very special St. Benedict crucifix that was gifted to me from a friend who attended the Toronto World Youth Day and had it blessed by Pope John Paul II.  (I say “used to” because all the time in my pocket, day-in and day-out, wore the metal of the crucifix down and the corpus of Jesus became distorted, so instead of continuing to damage it, I stopped carrying it.)  On my home office desk, I have a crucifix statue that stands near my laptop.  In every room in our home, we have a crucifix.  At all times, I carry a Rosary in my pocket with the crucifix.  Why?  So that I can, at any time, gaze upon the man I want to be like.  I want to serve like He served.  I want to be strong like He was strong.  I want to love as He loved.

For many of us, we’ve heard “Keep your eye on the ball.”  or, “Keep your eyes on the prize.”  I say, Keep your eyes on the Cross.

TrueMan up!

PS: If I get a request from at least 3 readers, I’ll explain more about the significance of the St. Benedict crucifix that was purchased for me at WYD in Toronto.  Send them via the comment section below or via email!

Family Movie Night

I heard about this at a conference I attended earlier this week in Baltimore.  I was very excited to know that some mainstream corporations were finally stepping up and doing something about the disastrous and diplorable programming on network television.  Wal-Mart and Proctor&Gamble teamed up to create Family Movie Night.  You may have seen the ads on either NBC or FOX over the past year, or maybe you’re like me and you’re only now hearing about this.  Tonight, Saturday April 16, 2011, the 5th and final movie will air.  You and your family can see it at 8/7c on FOX.

If the movie ratings do well, these sorts of corporations may be open to making more family friendly television.  Programming that is family friendly, virtuous, wholesome and uplifting.  This isn’t necessarily a religious/faith-based issue.  This is an American issue – taking back our families.

It’s not necessarily about the movie content, actors or storyline.  It’s about proving to the network executives, producers, directors, writers, actors, critics and the rest, that “heart and soul” Americans want their families back, they want their living rooms back and they want their children back.  If you’ve ever complained about what’s on television before, because it wasn’t appropriate for either you or your children, then here is your chance to “vote with your remote”.  If the ratings for a movie like this one are high, the networks will be more  likely to produce and promote other films along the same lines.

Here’s the trailer for what you can see tonight on FOX.

If you’re not going to watch this tonight, and choose not to vote with your remote, stop complaining about the degradation of America through the television, media and movies.  Stand up and do something about it.  If you’re not going to be home, turn your television on to FOX and leave it playing.  Your remote vote will make a difference.

Please pass this info along to all of the Americans that want to see a change on what’s on television.

TrueMan up!

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