A Strong Link

As I stated in yesterday’s post, “Why Fight Porn”, I’m going to draw the correlation between pornography and many other social justice issues today.  I stated: “Tomorrow, I will dive into the reality of the effects of pornography, as well as the link pornography has to Life issues and social justice issues (such as divorce, rape, incest, abuse of women, domestic violence, etc.) and will attempt to create for you a strong correlation between these links.  The link between pornography (sexual hedonism and sexual utilitarianism) and many other serious issues is strong!”

Here goes:

People often believe that the sexual revolution of the 60’s is responsible for the state of where our culture is in regards to sexuality.  Although it played (and continues to play) a significant role, it had to start somewhere, right?  Let’s take a look at it.  In the 1930’s, a scientist by the name of Alfred Kinsey performed some “experiments” based on some absolutely atrocious and despicable sexual “experiments”, as he called them.  [I have written a small amount about Kinsey before, and may write more in the future.]  The important piece here is the scope of influence that Kinsey, and his works, had on individuals.  Many people, even Catholics, were influenced by his writings, coming to believe that sex was created for nothing more than the primal urge.  Kinsey believed that we all were born with a natural inclination to sex and that to suppress our natural inclinations and primal desires was to suppress nature and therefore not act in accordance with nature and science.  Why is this important?  Simply, Hugh Hefner.

While a student in college, Hugh Hefner, the infamous creator of the pornography industry, read Kinsey’s famous book, “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male”, printed in 1948.  This book led Hefner to write his thesis on the topic and later, he realized the influence of Kinsey on his decision, in 1953, to create Playboy.  Playboy was the start of the acceptance of soft-core pornography in our culture.  Up to this point in history, sexual hedonism and pornography was a black market type industry.  It was a very, very small industry (to use the word lightly) and a person had to work hard to search it out.  A socially respectable woman would never use pornography.  No socially respectable man would use pornography.  It was disgraceful.  With Playboy, and subsequent “publications” however, pornography became more mainstream and more acceptable.  Since the advent of Playboy, the rise of pornographic materials has spread like wild fire.  As we all know, with the invention of the internet, pornography has spread even more, and into almost every home in the US.  (This doesn’t even take into consideration the magazines/print porn, radio porn, tv porn, cell phone porn, hand-held gaming unit porn and so on.)

From the time of Kinsey, there is a spike in the following categories: divorce, rape, incest, child abuse, drug use, suicide (teen suicide, specifically), domestic violence, physical abuse, child abduction, use in and production of contraceptives, and most notably abortion.  Now, how can this be?  Follow me, I hope it makes perfect sense to you so that you can begin to fight for the truth.

With the “new” mindset, in the 50’s, that sex is utilitarian (merely for use) and hedonistic (pleasure for self), society began to let their guard down morally.  What was once morally reprehensible was now becoming accepted in certain circles, communities and cities.  As people began to explore sexually, marriages and families specifically began to suffer dramatically.  Now, because people are more “open” when it comes to sex, they allow more.  They experiment with more.  They accept more.  (The use of drugs becomes more prevalent during this time, too.)  So a man wouldn’t necessarily have to care about a relationship or responsibility with a woman, he could merely get his sexual pleasure taken care of and move on.  With this lack of responsibility sexually came the desire for contraception.  “If I’m going to sleep with anyone I want, I shouldn’t have to worry about the consequences of a pregnancy.  After all, I’m not in this for a child, or for love, or for life, I’m merely in it for sexual pleasure.”

So, as the desire for contraceptions increased, so too did the desire for abortions.  “Why should I have to keep this baby?  I wasn’t having sex to get pregnant, only for the pleasure.”  Now, as people are more open sexually, less responsible sexually, open to pornography use in the home and in their bedrooms, more willing to kill their unwanted children, and so forth, the family unit suffers big time.  Married couples then lost the responsibility towards one another and divorce increased.

Because of the use of pornography, which experts will tell you, becomes more and more perverted over time, men and women desire different things sexually.  When a man gets turned down by a woman, why shouldn’t he resort to beating her, raping her or other?  Why shouldn’t he go after “easy prey” and abuse children?  Why shouldn’t a number of other things just “naturally” (as Kinsey suggested) just happen and be “normal”?  Obviously, as you read this, if you’re a reasonable and logical human being, you can see the problems here.  It started with sexual disintegration and continues today with more problems than ever.

In review:

• sex was reduced to a primal urge
• pornography came on the scene
• morally reprehensible sexual activity and behavior became accepted
• sex became a recreation
• lack of sexual responsibility entered in
• because people didn’t want responsibility, contraceptives became mainstream
• contraceptives don’t work 100% so abortion was legalized and increased dramatically
• couples are struggling for purpose and divorce increased
• anger becomes mainstream and leads to abuse of all kinds
• people struggle in life when they don’t know their purpose, so they commit suicide
• on and on and on

As you can probably imagine, I could continue on with this list for a long time.  This doesn’t even begin to speak to the emotional or psychological effects on people, nor their relationship with God, nor the effect this entire topic has on the Church.  It’s really despicable what came about from the advent of pornography.  It’s not to say that these things may not have come about without pornography, but we’ll never know that.  Bottom line – we must eradicate pornography!

TrueMan up!

Self Evident Truths

Representative James Lankford from Oklahoma, just last week, proved to be a great man of virtue, a TrueMan.  He successfully stood and presented an absolutely dynamic oratorical argument to the right to life for all humans.  For it is self evident, as he and the founding fathers stated, that all humans have these unalienable rights.

His courage to stand and speak these truths, even in the House of Representatives where we all know truth is not something they hold to hard and fast, is a great example.  Although most of us will never have the chance to stand and speak in this sort of forum, we do have the chance to stand and speak in the small situations.  When confronted with the issue of abortion, we, as men, must stand and defend those without a voice.

Good on you, Mr. Lankford.

Why Fight Porn?

So what’s the big deal with porn, anyway?  Why do we put so much emphasis on how evil and dangerous porn is?  Why fight porn?

Ask any Catholic priest and he’ll tell you that the majority (majority NOT used lightly here) of male confessions heard in the confessional are oriented towards impurity, lust, sexual misbehavior/acting out and pornography abuse.  This is also not to say that many of the female confessions heard in the confessional don’t also cover these topics.  Many priests I have asked about this topic have told me that upward of 85-90% of the confessions they hear from men are linked to pornography abuse.  This is astonishing and could be, if viewed incorrectly, disheartening.  The devil is attempting to kill our souls, our culture and our Church from the inside out through the use of pornography.  Many believe that it is not a public problem, that if “I” use porn in the quiet of my own home, that it doesn’t effect anyone else.  This is FALSE.

Tomorrow, I will dive into the reality of the effects of pornography, as well as the link pornography has to Life issues and social justice issues (such as divorce, rape, incest, abuse of women, domestic violence, etc.) and will attempt to create for you a strong correlation between these links.  The link between pornography (sexual hedonism and sexual utilitarianism) and many other serious issues is strong!

Before we go, I urge all men to educate themselves on the truth!  Don’t take my word for things, don’t take any one single person’s word for anything.  Do your research and go into it unbiased and open to the truth, for the truth shall set you free!  (This comes from a guy who doubted a ton, thought he could make his own truth and eventually got hit upside the proverbial head with the proverbial 2×4.  Take it from me… do your research!)

TrueMan up!

Christian-Style of Internet Use

Pope Benedict XVI is a smart man.  He knows what’s up.

The 2 minute video below is the hope of the Church, to evangelize the world through whatever means possible.  We hope to do this with TrueManhood.com.

“The Day You Give Birth Is the Day Your…”

“The day you give birth is the day your opinion should matter!” screamed a young female passerby. Really? Is that all this is to you, a bunch of opinions? Really?

This was just one of the many negative comments we received yesterday while praying outside of the Planned Parenthood murder mill here in Colorado Springs. I was out with my buddy Joe, a pro-life giant – faithful to prayer and protest outside of Planned Parenthood EVERY Friday afternoon. On the outside, Joe is mild-mannered, calm and prayerful. Inside, I sense that he’s a raging bull! The fury that rages inside him, because of the injustices against the thousands of innocent unborn babies that are brutally murdered every day in the US (nearly 4,000 babies per day!), is tempered by the Holy Spirit and guided thereby to do much good in our world. He, as we all should be, is a man of action. He puts his ‘money where his mouth is’ and is out there praying every Friday for the end to abortion.

One lady driving by stopped and yelled out her window, “Wait until it’s your wife who is raped!  I’m calling the cops on you guys!”  Another female driver stopped in the middle of the intersection to deliberately give us the finger, the ‘ol Jersey salute.  She stared me down like I was the bad guy, because I was there, on my knees, meditating on the Crucifixion of our Lord and praying for babies.  Absolutely ridiculous.

Listen, if you’re not Pro-Life, you’re Pro-Death.  There’s no other distinction.  Life or Death.  You’ve never heard anybody say “It’s a life or death, or choice, situation.”  Right?  It’s way more than a choice.  Abortion is murder.  And, what’s more, THIS IS NOT SIMPLY A WOMAN’S ISSUE!  Men, this is one of those things that we MUST step up and defend.  We must protect our women and children.  We must stand up for the common good.  We must lead in this fight.  We must stand in opposition to faulty and immoral laws.  We must stand up against evil.  We must stand against our post-abortive culture.  We must stand up and say enough is enough.

On Monday of this past week, I took my family to the Rocky Mountain March for Life.  It took place on Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday.  There was a pastor from Oakland, CA there to speak to the crowd.  (I apologize for not remembering his name.)  He was a black pastor, and spoke heavily about the effects of abortion on the black women (and men, and families, and businesses, and culture and so on) in his “neighborhood”.  One thing he said, that has really troubled me the last many days, is that the vast majority of people sitting in the pews on Sunday in black churches across the country are “post-abortive”.  This means that they have been effected, either directly or indirectly, by abortion.  Meaning as well, that they may be traumatized (although usually in silence) by the negative effects of abortion.  His whole point was that it is incredibly difficult to reach out to this portion of the population, because so many people don’t want to be told that what they’ve done has been wrong, or that they’re wrong in their thinking.  So many people want to keep the status quo, instead of pushing the envelope and challenging what is wrong so that what is right can be brought out and experienced by the masses.

There’s a lot more I could write about this today, but will keep it for additional posts in the future.  For now, please join the pro-life movement in praying for the unborn and for the end to abortion.

TrueMan up!

Great Resource For Women – “Yes, She’s More Beautiful Than You”

I came across this great website by a lady named Ashley Weis.  See her site HERE.  Ashley writes strictly to women, to be a support and a source of inspiration to them.  Ashley’s story is a good one – the wife of a man with an addiction to pornography.  This topic is a topic that spurs a lot of questions.  Many women ask me about this topic – how can I help my _________? (fill in the blank).  Sometimes it’s “my husband”, “my boyfriend”, “my dad”, etc.  I know how to help the men, I don’t necessarily know how to help the women.  I was very relieved when I found out about Ashley’s resources.

My wife is a great resource in this process of healing, as she too is the wife of a recovering pornography addict.  She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and really good at what she does.  She has some insights into the feelings, emotions, prayers, healing and trust that goes into all this.  If you’d like to talk with Catherine, feel free to email us at ContactUs@TrueManhood.com and we’ll pass your email along to her.

For women who might be reading this, I hope that either Catherine or Ashley, or any of the other women that are resources on this topic, can be a source of peace and healing for you if you are dealing with this trauma.

For the men reading this, I urge you to see the hurt and pain through a woman’s eyes/thoughts.  It should speak volumes to us and help our behavior.  If you know of a woman in your life who needs to read this, please forward the link to them.

Ashley recently wrote a great article for the Covenant Eyes blog.  I share it with you below.  (BTW: if you’re looking for a great internet security software, Covenant Eyes is a great one.  It might cost a bit of money, but a few dollars a month is worth your salvation, don’t you think?!)

Here’s the blog entry from Ashley that was posted at the Covenant Eyes Blog:

Yes, She’s More Beautiful Than You

“I nuzzled my face into his chest, peered up at him, and said, “I just want to be the most beautiful woman in the world to you.”

Silence.

Immediately, I replayed memories. Like the day I found explicit links on the computer. And the night he confessed to viewing pornography at work while I waited for him at home—pregnant.

“Silence doesn’t make me feel any better,” I said, hoping he’d say something to reassure me.

“I don’t want to say something that’s not true.”

“So, there are women you think are more beautiful than me?” He didn’t answer, but I pried.

“There have been. Yes.”

I gulped and restrained tears. “What about them?” He named qualities. Attributes I already knew he found attractive, but hearing the words ripped my heart into a thousand pieces.

When I begged for a deeper understanding, he asked, “Would it help if I gave you an actual person?” He gave me a celebrity’s name. I thanked God it wasn’t someone we knew.

Then I asked a question I shouldn’t have asked, “So, if you stood her next to me, you would think she was more beautiful?”

“Yes, she’s more beautiful than you.”

Tears rained for an hour. I thought I’d never heal after such devastation. Beauty was stolen from me. My essence was torn apart. I never imagined feeling beautiful again, not after my dearest companion whispered the heart-wrenching words, ‘Yes, she’s more beautiful than you.’

Agonizing thoughts popped up every time my husband and I made love. Whenever we were in public, I feared seeing a woman with the qualities he named. And I cried every time I saw my reflection in a mirror.

I had to do something, but what?

Divorce was out of the question. I didn’t want to break my wedding vows. I didn’t want to run from problems. But I didn’t know how to heal. Sometimes just looking at my husband brought tears. I missed the way our relationship sparkled in the beginning. I wanted us back. But every time I looked into his eyes I felt unwanted and ugly.

My husband began to change. He battled lust and asked God to purify his heart. Even so, whenever he told me I was beautiful, I cringed.

People often reminded me that beauty isn’t reflected in a woman’s appearance—it’s all about her heart. But every time I saw another woman I’d compare myself. And whenever my husband looked at me I’d wonder if I was beautiful enough.

Surely, beauty had something to do with appearance; otherwise God wouldn’t have created women to be beautiful and men wouldn’t be so visually stimulated by their wives. But how could I feel beautiful in my own skin after my husband ranked me below other women? He said he had changed, and his actions proved that his heart was being purified more every day, but I still positioned myself below those women and felt unattractive.

After many agonizing nights of locking my husband out of the house and handing over my wedding rings, I woke up, looked in the mirror, and asked God to help me view myself through His eyes—not my own or my husband’s.

For the first time I saw beauty. But it wasn’t a familiar beauty.

Stripped of make-up and hair products, I saw beauty in my reflection. I saw a woman crafted by God. And He doesn’t make mistakes. Every flaw somehow vanished when I realized that my imperfections were beautiful to Him.

The same God that orchestrates beautiful sunsets created me! Looking at myself and believing I needed make-up, hair straighteners, and tan skin to create beauty was pretty much telling God, “Sorry, but you didn’t cut it. I need to add some things, take away some things, and then I’ll be beautiful.”

It’s not easy to feel this way every minute of the day. Satan seeks to destroy me. He throws arrows at my deepest wounds and worst insecurities. He wants me to feel like I need to prove myself. Like I need something else in order to be good enough. Whether it’s my body or personality, he is always trying to make me think I’m lacking something. God wants me to rest in who I am. Satan doesn’t. It’s like a tug of war for my heart. God builds me up and Satan schemes to bring me down. I don’t want to let him.

Yes, I still wonder if I’m good enough for my husband. I still battle the wow-I-wonder-if-he-likes-that-woman thoughts. But I have learned to view my beauty through God’s eyes. And in turn, I’m not so dependent upon anyone’s opinion other than God Himself.

I hope I will continue to realize the “I’m not good enough” feeling is a lie. There is no perfect woman. God created me to be me. Confidence is a beautiful thing, and I want that! Not stylish clothes, but the godly confidence God created me to have. I desire a smile that beams when the world is crashing down.

I am learning to love myself, appreciate the gifts and positive qualities God gave me, and thank Him for them. I am still learning and struggling, but most of all, still fighting and loving.

Truly, I feel as though my beauty has been resurrected since I looked at myself through God’s eyes, and stopped trying to attain the sex appeal advertised on billboards or advertisements. Although it’s still difficult not to desire that kind of sexiness, God has shown me a different side of beauty. A beauty that He finds attractive, because He created it.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to rid myself of the words my husband said. They still tumble through my thoughts and spin my heart. But I have learned to stop believing them. I’ve learned that I do not need affirmation from the world in order to know I am beautiful. Now, when I brush make-up on my face, I know it’s not necessary; it’s only a fun accessory. Real beauty is created by God, not me.

I can shout with full confidence, “I am beautiful,” because the King of Kings fashioned me. And no one can take that beauty away from me.”

Old Vid, Just for Laughs

Just for laughs…

The Colbert Report	Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The De-Deification of the American Faithscape
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