Encouraging Men to Get Involved
Here’s my latest article on iibloom.com, posted yesterday.
For some people, it’s a struggle to figure out why men aren’t involved at church and church-related events. When we take a look at a typical parish in the United States, we see a Church that is struggling to entice, encourage and strengthen men as leaders. Why is this? Is it the content, is it the timing, is it the other people in attendance? Is it something internal? Do they feel emasculated by it? Is it a lack of catechesis? Is there a power struggle? Or maybe even something else?
(Please note, this article is a generalization; please keep this in mind. Many men are fully engaged in the life of the Church and many parishes have a thriving men’s population. The point of this article is to find ways to help encourage men who aren’t involved to become involved.)
Men won’t get involved in “stuff” if they don’t see a value in it. Also, they aren’t likely to attend a new event, group or club unless they
know someone else who is attending, and know them well. Another reason men won’t get involved is if they see the stuff as weak, lame or feminine. Unfortunately, many men see Mass, Church events, groups and retreats through this lens. On my website, I have mentioned that the Church is “by women, for women,” and this is a big reason why men aren’t involved. I say this because the vast majority of parishes in the US have a very lopsided attendance and volunteer demographic. The reason for this is because men fail to step up and into leadership and volunteer roles.
Men shouldn’t be forced into praying like women pray, it doesn’t work for us. Men need to pray the way men were created to pray. Men shouldn’t be forced into activities that are similar to women’s activities, it does’t work for us. Men should participate in activities that they were created for. There’s a difference, and that difference is important.
The difference is, as the late Pope John Paul II often talked about, is that men and women were created equal in dignity, but different in role. In order for men to fulfill their role, their lives must be oriented correctly towards what they were created for. A great place to see what it is that men were created for is to read through the creation narrative in The Book of Genesis.
So how do you encourage men to participate? It’s tough to know, exactly. I think that a great way is to get to the heart of a man…that which God put deep inside each man. It’s different from anything else in the world, and hard to explain. See, men want to be rugged and tough. They want to shoot stuff, and fix stuff, and build stuff. They want to protect and defend, they want to love and be loved. They want to feel a purpose and be accomplished. Unfortunately, so many men don’t know how to do any of that stuff.
If we want men to participate, we have to encourage them, build them up and GIVE THEM A PERSONAL INVITATION. Personal invitations, from men they trust and respect, might just be the thing to get a man involved in the Life of the Church. The personal invitation should be in person, not over phone, texting or email. And once the invitation is extended, the event better not stink! Or be lame! And, it better not be associated with ‘sissiness’! If it does, he’ll never come back.
I encourage all the faithful, if they know a man who needs to be involved, to be like St Monica. St Monica, the mother of St Augustine, prayed unceasingly for her son. Augustine was a wandering-soul. He lived a life of incredible sin and his mother still prayed. He became one of the greatest saints and writers of the Church. That man who you know might just be the next St Augustine.
Click HERE for the article on iibloom’s site.
Fr. Emil Kapaun – A TrueMan, and Great Example of Holiness
Father Emil Kapaun of Pilsen, Kansas died a hero at the young age of 35 in a North Korean POW camp in 1951. His message of hope and resolve to never give up still resonates today. The family of Chase Kear hoped that praying to Kapaun would help heal Chase, who was critically injured in 2008. Now the Vatican is investigating whether Chase Kear is a miracle, and whether Kapaun deserves to be a saint. Whether the Church officially canonizes Fr. Kapaun or not, we can all take many lessons from him. He was a true servant, always putting others and their needs before his own. He broke racial and religious barriers by being courageous enough to speak and live the Good News of Jesus Christ as Lord. May He rest in peace. Here is a good site to read more about Fr Kapaun, and now two trailers about a documentary that was made about Fr. Kapaun.
Version 1:
Version 2:
All or None
Christ requires that we are all or none. There’s no middle ground when you are a follower of Christ – a Christian. I recently heard it put like this… if life was a game of Texas Hold’em, Christ would ask us to go “all in” – that’s the only bet allowed. Why is it so hard for some people to “go all in”? Why is it so hard to let go of control and simply let God? I’ve been blessed, in regards to this situation, to have a trusting disposition. I rely fully on and I know, wholeheartedly, that He will provide all that I need and more.
Trust is a huge piece that goes into following Christ. And trust, although seemingly insignificant at times, plays a vital role in pushing all our chips into the center of the table. The Catechism tells us that Adam, the first man, lost trust in God his creator, thus, the first sin. What sort of trust level do you have in God your creator?
I know that some things are uncertain and some things are scary, but relying on God to get you through them is a vital part in following Him. We’re given amazing examples in Scripture of men who trusted – namely, Abraham. His level of trust, obedience and faith is incredible. Read his story in the Scripture and you’ll see what I mean. When it comes down to it, he chose trust over everything else and God rewarded him for it.
Man up!
Lenten Devotion – Selflessness
We took an amazing trip to San Luis, Colorado yesterday. There, among the high-desert plain and the rock-covered mountains, stands the Shrine to the Stations of the Cross. It’s a marvelous experience, hiking up the mountain side, following the footsteps of Jesus; from his death-sentencing until He resurrects from the tomb. We had a group of 34 people, led by Fr Joe and Deacon Bob.
As we walked the rocky ground, contemplating the weight of the cross beam on Jesus’ shredded back (shredded from the scourging at the pillar),I was in awe of just how difficult Christ’s journey must have been. And while contemplating the journey, I realized that I’m simply not selfless enough. He gave everything for me (and you), yet, I’m still prone to selfish desires and self-serving interests.
The culture wants men to believe that it’s all about them; their needs, their desires. That a man can plow through any innocent bystander if they impede his progress of attaining his goal(s). Get get get, take take take – never worrying about taking anyone out along the way. Being self-serving is actually self-reliance, self-defense and self-preservation – they say. In reality, a man should be self-denying, self-sacrificing and self-giving. He is called to attend to the needs of others before his own. He is called to defend, protect and build up, even if it means blood, sweat and tears. A True Man follows Christ’s example.
Man up!
The Power of a Purposeful Lent
Today is the start to the Liturgical Season of Lent. Lent is often times looked at as a set of rules about not eating meat on Fridays and a time of giving something up; a fairly militaristic/dictatorial outlook if you ask me. I’m not going to get into the specifics about fasting and why we do it, or about what the Church teaches about Lent. What I want to get into is the power that a purposeful Lent can have for a person. As with most things, if we choose to “get by” with the minimum, we’re not going to get much out of it. If, however, we decide to embrace the teachings and challenges of Lent, I believe that we will gain a great deal.
For many of us, Lent tends to be a time of re-commitment, year after year. In order for Lent to be powerful and to make a difference this year (as opposed to Lent being just a period of 40 days that bore no spiritual fruit – like last year), we must be purposeful in our decisions and lifestyle. I suggest that you write you plan down. After you write your plan down, read it regularly. I also suggest that you tell someone else your plan so that they can hold you accountable to your word. Do the same for them.
I suggest that everyone not only give something up (broccoli and peas don’t count) but add some things as well. I typically add a form of prayer, a form of discipline and a form of service to my fasting choice(s). This year, my wife and I (for our family) decided to only purchase the essentials at the grocery store (milk, bread, vegetables, fruit, etc. – the stuff that goes bad quickly) and to eat what’s already in the house, including, no meals out. It’s a fiscal decision and a simplification decision. I’ve made a commitment to making a workout a priority again, to praying the stations of the cross every week, whether by myself or in a group and I’m going to volunteer at least one day at Habitat for Humanity. The “give up” part of my Lenten devotion this year is to only consume water as a beverage, no other liquids (Pepsi, tea, etc). Ouch! In your journey, it might be too much to add a bunch of stuff. Add something, even if it appears to be small. If you can’t handle the small stuff, you’ll never be able to handle the big stuff. May your Lent be powerful.
Man up!
7 Days of Manly Superbowl Stuff – Last Day
Well, we’ve just about arrived. Kick-off to Superbowl XLIII is merely hours away and the anticipation of the game is on the minds of many sports fans across the country. Sadly, the anticipation of the commercials, which might be the larger anticipation, is on the minds of television fans and of people who like parties with lots of food. In the end, there will be a winning team (the champions) and a losing team. It may be the team you are rooting for, it might not. 50-50. Win – go down in history. Lose – be forgotten.
A quick thought today… God wants our best, given freely to him, in all we do. In the little things (hosting a party, being a guest, making comments about the plays, the calls or the commercials) during the game (and always) be aware of your words, your actions and your thoughts. A True Man never makes someone call into question his motivation, his intent or his character. Be a gentleman and a servant of Christ.
COMING SOON… since Superbowl Week is now over, we’ll be back to our normal posting schedule. Please watch for upcoming podcasts, video and the addition of the e-book, “The Biblical Man – e-book Edition” by Dave DiNuzzo.
Your comments and suggestions are appreciated!
