Manly Men – Another Explanation

I’m convinced that people who dislike this blog typically don’t read this sort of post – an attempt to, once again, clarify our stance on authentic masculinity in the world, as well as our opinions on a lot of other things .  Instead, they only read the controversial posts like boys not wrestling girls, girls not being altar servers, posts speaking about porn addiction, and so on.  I will attempt to clarify what it means to be a TrueMan because it appears as though the understanding is blurred.

First, a TrueMan attempts to live a life in imitation of Jesus Christ.  Jesus is the perfection of masculinity and set the perfect example for all men.  He lived virtue, in fact, it would be better put by saying “Jesus is virtue”, namely the greatest virtue of Charity (Love).  “Blessed be Jesus Christ, True God and TrueMan” – from the Divine Praises.

Second, authentic manliness is NOT about how many “manly” activities, hobbies, likes/dislikes you do or don’t do.  It’s not about how strong you are physically.  It’s not about how many women you’ve slept with.  It’s not about how much facial hair you can grow or not grow.  It’s not about what vehicle you drive, or how fast, slow or unsafely you drive it.  It’s not about what house you live in, what job you have, how many countries you’ve visited.  It’s not about how much money you have in the bank.  It’s not about a lot of earthlythings.  It’s about virtue. Plain and simple.  Possessing virtue means that you have the “habitual and firm disposition to do the good” and that you “do the good with ease, with joy, promptly and consistently.”  The more virtuous you are, the more manly you are.  (Click HERE to view “TrueManhood’s Guide to Virtue”.)

Third, we are not hateful towards any group, religion, affiliation or creed.  If we have ever come across in that manner, we apologize.  However, we disagree with a number of groups, religions, affiliations and creeds.  We realize that many of them disagree with us.  That’s okay.  Hating someone and disagreeing with them are two very, very different things.  Please keep these distinctions clear.

Next, we have three general tactics at TrueManhood.com.  They are:

1. We Fight Pornography
2. We Fight “Cultural Manliness”
3. We Strive to Live Virtue

Lastly, I’d like to clear up a few things… we’re not misogynists, homophobes, close-minded, irrational, racist, bigoted, meatheads or any of the other numerous (and often slanderous) names we’ve been called.  We’re a group of men trying to be better men so that we can better ourselves, our marriages, our families, our communities, our workplaces, our country and our Church.  We’re not perfect, nor do we profess to be.  We are on a journey.

If you like what we do at TrueManhood, then please, continue to come back and continue to support us.  If not, there are a lot of other websites out there for you.

TrueMan up!

Couldn’t Disagree More

In this video, Ted Haggard spouts off about forgiveness and restoration.  Haggard, an ex-evangelical preacher, you may recall, was caught up in a web of lies when his gay male prostitute “mistress”, also a meth addict, outed him and exposed him to not only his wife and children, but to his congregation (New Life Church in Colorado Springs – a non-denominational mega church) and the world.  Haggard was destroyed in the tabloids, the news, the reports, on the web and especially in Christian circles.  He was a fraud and led many astray because of his actions.

When Haggard speaks of restoration, he speaks as though he deserves it.  Although he can be forgiven, his attitude doesn’t seem (at least not to me) to be in the right place and it doesn’t seem that he wants to take any responsibility.  I’ve seen him in other videos and have always felt the same about those interviews.  He seems to place a lot of blame and like he doesn’t want to accept his consequences.  Not very manly, if you ask me.  “…Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

I couldn’t disagree more with what he says in this video.  He speaks of “the church”, as most Protestants do, as the group of people who believe in Christ.  As Catholics, we speak of “The Church” in a different way and I think that, as She always has, The Church does a great job of restoring people.  It’s frustrating to see a video like this because this ex-pastor, who still has influence on people and can give them reasons not to believe, feels like he can say whatever he wants with complete disregard for who hears it or who he affects.

Watch it and see what you think.  Leave me comments.

TrueMan up!

Let God Do It

Recently, I’ve been thinking about my life and how God has blessed me.  I think about it all the time, really.  I constantly pray in thanksgiving, for my life has been very abundant and gets better as every day comes and goes.  When I look at my family, my children and wife especially, my occupation, my friends, my stuff, my home, my ministry, my faith… I realize that I am a blessed man.  God certainly remains faithful.  I think about all of this in the context of time and relate it to others that I know that struggle with letting it all happen in God’s time.  Whether it be a job situation, a financial situation, a relationship, having children, whatever the case may be, many people desire to control the situation and try to do it all their own.  My advice… Let God do it!

Take a look at my life, for example, and see how (in only a short period of time) my entire life has come together.

10 years ago, I was a two-faced 19 year old boy, living one life in public and one life in private.  I was an evangelical Protestant at the time, who hated Catholicism and most Catholics.  I was merely a college jock, a rage-aholic, a porn addict, a womanizer, angry-as-all-get-out and lost in my own selfishness and pride.  School didn’t matter to me, I was lazy (a sloth, really) and concerned with very little in the world.  I didn’t have a serious girlfriend (who would’ve wanted to date me?!), and if I was seeing anyone, it was almost always about getting some sort of physical pleasure from them.   Never to be a self-sacrificing gift of self.  Never to be a leader. Never about being a TrueMan.

8 years ago, I had a profound conversion.  I experienced Christ in the Eucharist and desired wholeheartedly to be part of His Church, the Holy Roman Catholic Church.  I was over my rage issue, was dealing with my porn addiction, wasn’t two faced anymore for “my yes meant yes and my no meant no” and many other blessings were coming around.  I was still single, but that was okay.  It wasn’t the right time yet.

6 years ago I was working as a Catholic missionary with FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students).  I made very little money, about 2/3 below the poverty line!, but it didn’t matter to me.  I was changing lives.  Then, it happened.  I met Catherine.  From then until now, a very short period of time, my life has gone into hyper-drive.  God has brought me every blessing I could imagine and I am so grateful for it.  Catherine and I started dating.  We had very little.  We took it a day at a time and now, 3 children, a mortgage, a thriving website, a career of my dreams and a solid marriage later, here we are, blessed abundantly.  We’ve been married 4.5 years.  It didn’t take long.  God blesses in His time, in His way, through His plan.  Not mine.  My plan stunk. My time was rubbish.  My way was wrong.  Only in Him will we find our joy.

Why do I share this?  To toot my horn at you?  No.  To show you that God has great things planned for you?  Yes.  To suggest that you step back from control and worry?  Yes.  To say, “I’ve been there.  I’ve been down in that ditch.  I’ve been wallowing in my own filth and that’s not the place for you!”  Yes!

Look, 10 years ago when I had a horrible life, was angry and with only a few friends, I had little hope for life.  I was in a place of despair.  I was to the point where I figured no woman would ever want me.  That meant I wouldn’t have kids.  That meant that I wouldn’t fulfill my dream of being a dad.  I didn’t think my career would mean much because I had no drive.  Overall, I figured God had given up on me.  In reality, though, I had given up and put God on the back burner.  No, actually, I had put God down in the crevice between the cabinet and the side of the oven where all the crumbs, dust and grease are.  I tried to do it all on my own. I thought that was being self-sufficient.  I thought that doing it on my own was manliness.  I thought that dominating a young woman meant being manly and leading.  Once I let Go, I saw more clearly.  (Let Go and Let God.)  I let God work, I let God bless, I let God love.  I accepted it.  I welcomed it.  I was ready for it.  God’s time was the right time.

Will your life play out like this?  No, not necessarily.  Your life will play out the way God wants it to play out… if you let Him work in you.  He’ll be there, regardless of what you decide.  But take it from me, surrendering your life to Him now makes a whole lot more sense than living the way I was.  Give up the control, the self-sufficiency (in the context I used it above) and seek Him.  Let God do it!

TrueMan up!

Incredible Story

I don’t have the time now, but soon I will post the incredible story of the birth of our miracle baby, my son, Dave Jr.

You will want to come back to read this incredible story.

TrueMan up!

“The Day You Give Birth Is the Day Your…”

“The day you give birth is the day your opinion should matter!” screamed a young female passerby. Really? Is that all this is to you, a bunch of opinions? Really?

This was just one of the many negative comments we received yesterday while praying outside of the Planned Parenthood murder mill here in Colorado Springs. I was out with my buddy Joe, a pro-life giant – faithful to prayer and protest outside of Planned Parenthood EVERY Friday afternoon. On the outside, Joe is mild-mannered, calm and prayerful. Inside, I sense that he’s a raging bull! The fury that rages inside him, because of the injustices against the thousands of innocent unborn babies that are brutally murdered every day in the US (nearly 4,000 babies per day!), is tempered by the Holy Spirit and guided thereby to do much good in our world. He, as we all should be, is a man of action. He puts his ‘money where his mouth is’ and is out there praying every Friday for the end to abortion.

One lady driving by stopped and yelled out her window, “Wait until it’s your wife who is raped!  I’m calling the cops on you guys!”  Another female driver stopped in the middle of the intersection to deliberately give us the finger, the ‘ol Jersey salute.  She stared me down like I was the bad guy, because I was there, on my knees, meditating on the Crucifixion of our Lord and praying for babies.  Absolutely ridiculous.

Listen, if you’re not Pro-Life, you’re Pro-Death.  There’s no other distinction.  Life or Death.  You’ve never heard anybody say “It’s a life or death, or choice, situation.”  Right?  It’s way more than a choice.  Abortion is murder.  And, what’s more, THIS IS NOT SIMPLY A WOMAN’S ISSUE!  Men, this is one of those things that we MUST step up and defend.  We must protect our women and children.  We must stand up for the common good.  We must lead in this fight.  We must stand in opposition to faulty and immoral laws.  We must stand up against evil.  We must stand against our post-abortive culture.  We must stand up and say enough is enough.

On Monday of this past week, I took my family to the Rocky Mountain March for Life.  It took place on Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday.  There was a pastor from Oakland, CA there to speak to the crowd.  (I apologize for not remembering his name.)  He was a black pastor, and spoke heavily about the effects of abortion on the black women (and men, and families, and businesses, and culture and so on) in his “neighborhood”.  One thing he said, that has really troubled me the last many days, is that the vast majority of people sitting in the pews on Sunday in black churches across the country are “post-abortive”.  This means that they have been effected, either directly or indirectly, by abortion.  Meaning as well, that they may be traumatized (although usually in silence) by the negative effects of abortion.  His whole point was that it is incredibly difficult to reach out to this portion of the population, because so many people don’t want to be told that what they’ve done has been wrong, or that they’re wrong in their thinking.  So many people want to keep the status quo, instead of pushing the envelope and challenging what is wrong so that what is right can be brought out and experienced by the masses.

There’s a lot more I could write about this today, but will keep it for additional posts in the future.  For now, please join the pro-life movement in praying for the unborn and for the end to abortion.

TrueMan up!

St. Joseph – The Days After Christmas

If you’ve spent any time on the website, you surely know that I am a huge fan of St. Joseph.  He is, besides Christ Himself, the best model of authentic masculinity for a man to emulate.  Wanna be a TrueMan?… be like St. Joseph.  After all, he raised Jesus!  Quite obviously, St. Joseph knew what he was doing.  Have you ever thought about his role in the days following Christ’s birth?

Picture this… Mary gives birth to Jesus.  Joseph then sees shepherds, visitors and Magi from the east come to adorn his foster son.  Then, angels appear and sing praises about this baby boy.  What would be going through your mind, if in the hospital labor and delivery room, people come and sing songs praising your child?  We can’t really fathom what was taking place before Joseph’s eyes, nor what was going on in his head.  Then, imagine that an angel comes to him, again, and tells him that someone (King Herod) wants to kill his newborn son.  If you’re anything like me, your first inclination in this situation would have been to grab the firearms and ammo and go on the offensive.  Not Joseph.  He heeded the warning from the angel, then he WALKED HIS FAMILY TO EGYPT!  That would have been approx 300 miles, or more!  They walked!  A woman who had just given birth, a new born and this holy, faithful, virtuous man called Joseph.  He did this to protect his family and the salvation of all of us.

Now imagine being in Egypt.  Joseph has no idea how long they’d be there.  He left his carpenter shop, tools, projects, friends and home behind, back in Judea.  What did he do for work in Egypt?  How did they worship?  Where did they live?  How did he continually protect his family in this foreign land?  What and where did they eat?  Did you ever think of these things?  Have you ever thought about how St. Joseph did all this?  Have you ever thought how you would react in a situation like this?  What you would do if your family was in danger?  In need of shelter, food, protection?

St. Joseph did all of this, and quite handily.  There are good reasons why St. Joseph is the patron saint of so many manly things, like workers, carpenters, fathers and holy death.  His virtue was incredible.  Learn about him, follow him to his son.

TrueMan up!

St. Joseph was, The Man

I’ve written a decent amount about St. Joseph over the past 2+ years.  He was awesome.  He was an incredible example of  faith, trust, husbandry, fatherhood and obedience to God.  Watch for more on St. Joseph later in the week.

Pope Benedict, just a few days ago, had this to say about St. Joseph:

ST. JOSEPH, LEGAL FATHER OF JESUS AND “NEW MAN”

VATICAN CITY, 19 DEC 2010 – At midday, fourth Sunday of Advent, the Pope appeared at the window of his study to pray the Angelus with faithful gathered in St. Peter’s Square. Today’s reading from the Gospel of St. Matthew, he said, “recounts the birth of Jesus from the point of view of St. Joseph. He was engaged to Mary who, ‘before they lived together, … was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit'”.

In the text “St. Joseph is presented as a ‘righteous man’, faithful to God’s laws and ready to do His will. For this reason he is admitted into the mystery of the Incarnation after an angel of the Lord, appearing to him in a dream, tells him: ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins’. Thus Joseph abandons his plan to repudiate Mary secretly, and takes her to him because now his eyes see in her the work of God”.

Despite having suffered some anguish, “Joseph acted ‘as the angel of the Lord commanded him’, certain he was doing the right thing. By giving the name of ‘Jesus’ to that Child Who upholds the entire universe, he entered the ranks of the humble and faithful servants, similar to the angels and the prophets, similar to the martyrs and the Apostles. … St. Joseph announced the prodigies of the Lord, bearing witness to Mary’s virginity and to God’s gratuitous action, and protecting the earthly life of the Messiah. Thus we venerate Jesus’ legal father because in him we see the emergence of the new man, who looks with trust and courage to the future, who does not follow his own plans but entrusts himself entirely to the infinite mercy of the One Who fulfils the prophecies, the One Who opens the time of salvation”.

The Pope concluded his remarks by entrusting “all pastors” to St. Joseph, universal patron of the Church, “encouraging them”, he said, “quietly to present Christ’s words and actions each day to the faithful and to the whole world. … Let us trustingly invoke the Virgin Mary, full of grace ‘adorned by God’, that, during the Christmas which will soon be upon us, our eyes may open and see Jesus, and our hearts may joy at this incredible encounter of love”.

TrueMan up!

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