Tuesdays with Daddy – Discipline

When I stay home with my girls on Tuesdays, I know that it’s vital that I stay consistent with my discipline techniques.  My daughters have learned to not push their luck with me, as they know that I’m not going to back down from the standard I have set for them and will, when necessary, continue placing them in time out, removing their toys, or even have the occasional stern “talkin’ to”.  This isn’t simply a finger-waging session, telling them how bad they are.  My children are great, but sometimes they need a loving nudge to make better decisions.  In order for my discipline techniques to be effective, my “Daddy discipline” must already be in place so that I can stay consistent.  Discipline, used in two different senses here… confusing.  What I mean by my discipline techniques, is the set of expectations and consequences that I’ve set in place, with my wife, for my children.  -Let’s call this discipline “the rules”-.  What I mean by my Daddy discipline, in this case, is my personal commitment (self-discipline) to remaining true to what I know is the best method of parenting, resulting in the best formation and development for my children. -Let’s call this discipline “the preparation”-.  Both distinctions are crucial for the welfare of my children.  [In both cases, the theological virtue of charity must be central.]

There is a close relation to the two definitions here, and is important for us as children of God.  He wholeheartedly wants what is best for His children.  God the Father also has a set of expectations for us, a standard that He desires to see His children fulfill (the rules).  We should know that God, our Heavenly Father, is going to remain true to his “method of parenting” and simply wants what is best for our formation and development (the preparation).  The problem, I believe, is that we aren’t that worried about “time outs”, and that honestly, we don’t listen when He gives us a stern “talkin’ to”.  Maybe it’s because we can’t see the reward with our eyes.  Maybe we don’t know how to listen to the voice of God.  Maybe it’s because we aren’t smart enough to follow the path of those who have successfully gone before us.  I’m not really sure, but I think it has something to do, at least in part, with our discipline.

The other day, I wrote about discipline in one of my Super Bowl articles.  (7 Days of Super Bowl Stuff -SBXLIV- Day 5 “Discipline”).  Athletes have, even at the most basic level, a certain amount of discipline that is a responsibility that comes along with playing a sport.  They practice, workout, study the game and then perform.  In this previous article, I wrote about the similarities between being disciplined as an athlete to being disciplined in our spiritual lives.  In today’s article, I hope I show the importance of discipline in our lives, both discipline in the form of a set of expectations of how we live as well as discipline in the daily, practical applications in our lives.  Becoming and remaining disciplined is difficult, but attainable.  Discipline in the little things makes us disciplined in the big things.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – I Just Want to Hold You

I noticed today, that for the most part, my children aren’t interested in being held by me.  It’s not that I scare them, or that I’m too rough, or that my beard is scruffy on their faces, or anything like that.  It’s that they have other stuff they want to be doing.  On occasion, when a head is bonked, or a toe is stubbed, or a toy is stolen by their sibling and just about every 2 hours or so when that hunger thing comes around, then they come running, arms wide open, running to their daddy asking for something in their time of need.

Consequently, I realized, because of my wonderful children, that many of us are that way with our Heavenly Father.  All He wants is for us to be connected with Him, to be united with Him, to love Him and to be with Him.  More often than not, we want the opposite.  We have other “stuff” we want to do, and we don’t include Him.  He’s going to be there waiting for us, the same way I’m always there waiting for my girls, but wouldn’t it be better for us to run to Him in the good times too, when we’re not in need of something from Him?  I challenge all of us, myself included, to give God our first-fruits.  To give to Him the perfect time, upfront, not just the leftovers.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – Morning Offering and Daily Readings

I had an idea to implement some special prayer time and Scripture reading into each day with my girls.  Even though they are young, I’m finding it very fruitful.  My two year old and one year old don’t listen intently, nor would they have total comprehension if they did.  That’s not the point.  The point is that each and every day, in the morning, my children know that God is number one.  Here’s what I’ve been doing.

Every morning, I get my children from their rooms, we do the necessary change of diapers/underwear, comb the hair and do morning hugs and kisses, and then we head into the kitchen for breakfast.  Before any food is consumed, and before any milk in sippy cups is drunk, I have the girls join me in the sign of the cross, and I hold their hands as I offer our day for Christ.  I want them to get in the habit of praying, of giving God our “firsts”, if you will.  I also want them to know that we should make a sacrificial gift of ourselves to  God.

After making our morning offering, I then put their bowls and drinks in front of them, and they begin to eat.  This is prime time for their attention, so I began reading them the Scripture readings from each day; Sunday or weekday.  I found an “app” on my phone that has all the readings from each day, which works out nicely because I always have my phone handy.

This entire process takes just under five minutes.  My girls “stay with me” that long, so it doesn’t become tiresome, like some other prayer options we’ve tried.  One of the best things about spending this time with them is that I’m actively participating in their spiritual growth.  Their spiritual growth is my responsibility as their father.  I cannot take that lightly.  They see that prayer and time with the Word is important to me and they become used to it.

I’m going to continue this process until I see the need to change things up.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – My Primary Vocation & Responsibility

Sometimes it’s hard to clearly determine priorities.  What’s really number one in my life?  Why is it number one?  What else must occur in order for number one to stay number one?  As a husband and father, my primary vocation is to care for my wife and children, and this is where priorities get sticky for me.  In order to care for them, I need to be with them, but at the same time, I also need to provide shelter, clothing, food and safety – the essentials.  In order to provide the essentials, I have to earn money.  In order to earn money, I have to be away from them, either at my office, on the road speaking or at other locations outside the home.  Since I’m also studying for my master’s degree, my time is taxed heavily.  This isn’t even to mention upkeep of the house and vehicles, house chores and other necessary errands that must be completed.  How do I determine rankings of my responsibilities?

I’ve found that taking myself out of the equation is the best way to make the determinations.  What?  Here’s what I mean… I try to remove my desires, my wants, my preferences and instead, place my wife and children (and all of their needs, wants and desires) first.  When I do this, I find that my emotions are kept in check (even though I might want to be making money, hanging with my guy friends or watching a game).  When my emotions are kept in check, I am able to clearly determine what’s important.  Keep in mind, that making money isn’t bad, and hanging with your guy friends isn’t bad.  They are both goods things.  However, if making money, hanging out with your guy friends or any other activity/project/endeavor takes you away from your priorities, they become distractions and hindrances.

So, when determining priorities, I recommend removing yourself and your emotions from the decision making process.  Once you do that, your mind will be clear and you’ll be able to clearly make the right decisions.  Best of luck.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – “You Really Do Reap What You Sow”

Another installment of “Tuesdays with Daddy”.  For those who don’t know, I stay home with my two young daughters on Tuesdays and always have something important to blog about.

Today, I realized that we really do reap what we sow.  This morning, as I woke up with my two year old, I was amazed at how sweet she was.  She was saying things to me, like, “Daddy, may I please have some more cereal?” and “Daddy, I love you, VERY MUCH!” and “Daddy, you’re wonderful!”

Do you see where I’m going with this?  She’s repeating back to me phrases and statements (tone is important here, too) that I tell her often.  If I regularly talked to her in rough words, or words that aren’t loving, caring and sincere, she would talk to me that way too.  Eventually, she would probably speak to her teachers, coaches and friends in that same manner.  Instead, I choose to speak to her in the way I want her to speak to me and the rest of the world – lovingly.  (Be assured, I am firm when I need to be firm and scold when I need to scold.)

We really do reap what we sow.  And we’re constantly being watched.  With my girls, I’m being watched all the time.  As a follower of Christ, I simply cannot choose to abandon this responsibility.  I MUST work to exemplify Christ at all times.  I drop the ball quite often (as many of you know) but continue to get up and fight.  It’s a lot of responsibility, but if we expect to see change in our world for God, we must take this challenge on.

In your own life, I challenge you to figure out what you are sowing.  Are you sowing love?  Are you sowing anger, hatred, lust?  We really do reap what we sow.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – Their Life in My Hands

As I’ve mentioned before, I have the distinct honor and pleasure of staying home each and every Tuesday with my two young daughters.  I plan to make my time with them a regular theme of my posts on Tuesdays because so much happens in a day’s time that a good amount of it is blog-worthy.

Today, something that struck me in a way it never had before, is the fact that my daughter’s lives are in my hands.  It is my responsibility to give them the love they need, that they desire and that they deserve.  This idea of “what they deserve” keeps resonating with me because I could easily fail to give them that.  I could easily slack off and be lazy and do the bare-minimum.  If I do, their lives will be forever altered because of it.  I simply can’t (and won’t) take that chance.  So, when I find myself doing less than my best, I have to remember that I can’t do less than 100%; they need 100%, the deserve 100%.

I know lots of fathers and lots of great examples of men who strive for this 100%-self-giving love.  You know at least one great dad in this world, hopefully your own.  Take a minute over the next few days to give him (or them) a pat on the back for the good job they do or have done.

Man up!

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