Fire House Evangelization

Very recently, I became a member of the local volunteer fire company in our new hometown here in Pennsylvania.  I attended my first training session last night and was fairly impressed with the skills, knowledge and welcoming nature of the men who were there and am happy to finally be living out a childhood dream to be a firefighter.  (My Grandfather Anthony was a volunteer firefighter and ever since I learned that about him, I wanted to do it too.)  But, my work is cut out for me at the fire house.

You see, at the fire house, the apparent need to be macho is very prevalent.  ‘Cultural Manliness’ in full swing.  It’s been a while since I’ve been around this sort of behavior in this sort of context, but it certainly isn’t new to me.  I played sports my entire childhood life, even up into college (FB and Rugby at BC) and it was very prevalent there, too.  The idea that the more smack I talk, or the better zinger I can dish out, or the more raunchy the joke or the more foul the language, then the more manly I am.  Obviously, if you’ve ever read this blog before, you know where I stand on this issue.  These behaviors and characteristics don’t make you more manly, in fact, they diminish a man’s ability to live TrueManhood.

So, as I look forward to getting fire calls, attending training and potentially saving property and lives, I look forward also to the sort of impact I can make in the lives of my fellow brother firefighters.  I plan to make in-roads with men individually and once a relationship is forged and I gain trust and moral authority with them, I will begin to challenge them to not act like the rest of the guys.  We are a small fire company, but have great potential due to our leadership and equipment.  This will be the true test of my ability to live the faith and set a good example.  Most of the men who were present last night did not come off at first glance as being believers, but as with every man, their core is good.  A little refinement (I continue to need LOTS of refinement) will do them some good and they in turn will do even more good than that!

I turn this around on you… where in your life are you surrounded by cultural manliness?  Are there men around you that act like this?  Maybe you’re a firefighter, athlete, military serviceman, salesman, waiter, CEO, construction worker, missionary, or some other profession… where can you make an impact and live as a TrueMan instead of a cultural man?

TrueMan up!

Close ‘The Club’ on NBC

Many groups, including Morality in Media, The Pink Cross Foundation and the Coalition for the War on Illegal Pornography, are working hard to fight a new show that is supposed to begin airing on NBC in the fall.  “The Playboy Club” will glamorize and celebritize pornography – this is not a good thing.  Many people are in denial, or more perfectly stated, are simply ignorant, to the facts of the dangers of pornography.  Study after study show the negative effects, and the law is already in place (ALL hardcore pornography is illegal) but little-to-nothing is done about it.  Please support these groups and get Attorney General Eric Holder and the rest of the Department of Justice involved and prosecuting illegal pornography!  Our obscenity and decency laws must be enforced.

Here is an article written on just part of the battle.  (From Fox News.)

NBC’s new series “The Playboy Club” hasn’t even aired its first episode, and some people already want it off the air.

First, NBC’s Salt Lake City, UT affiliate, KSL-TV, refused to air the show, saying that their station is “completely inconsistent with the Playboy brand.”

Now an anti-porn foundation is determined to shut down the show completely

“What’s shown in ‘The Playboy Club’ is not real—Playboy definitely damages people. It’s pornography, it’s sex trafficking and it exploits women,” the founder of Pink Cross, ex porn actress Shelley Lubben, tells FOX411.com. “The series looks like it’s all cute, taking place back in the old days—it seems harmless, but then they show a quick clip of three people going at it in the bathroom. NBC is breaking the law with this show—they’re not meeting FCC standards.”

The nonprofit group Morality in Media agrees.

“We’re launching a big effort with our web site, closetheclubonnbc.com,” Dawn Hawkins, executive director, Morality In Media, tells FOX411.com. “We’re asking supporters to sign the pledge to and to contact their local NBC affiliates and ask them not to air the show. And as soon as we discover who is sponsoring the show, we’ll ask our supporters to contact them as well.”

Hawkins charges that “The Playboy Club” glamorizes pornography. “We know now, years later, that pornography is very harmful to society. It leads to addiction in children and adults, increased sex trafficking violence against women—and ‘Playboy’ is really the root of all of this. We just don’t want to see it glamorized any further, which it will be if it’s aired on NBC.”

With NBC in fourth place among broadcast networks, new president Steve Burke is under intense pressure to increase ratings. “When he was appointed, Burke said he was going to push the envelope,” Hawkins explains. “They want to get their ratings up, and they know that controversy surrounding this show might help.”

While “The Playboy Club” might help NBC’s sagging ratings, it could also run afoul of federal law.

“We don’t know the specific content of ‘The Playboy Club’ yet, but reports are that it will include simulated sex and nudity,” attorney and president and CEO of Morality in Media Patrick A. Truman tells FOX411.com. “Simulated sex can be prosecuted by Department of Justice as obscene and nudity, so long as it is not obscene, can be prosecuted by the FCC. The U. S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit struck down FCC’s indecency regulations, but that ruling has application only in that circuit. The U.S. Supreme Court today agreed to hear an appeal of that ruling. We will file an amicus brief.”

In addition to Morality in Media’s filing, Truman is issuing a warning to the network—and to Playboy.

“Every advertiser on The Playboy Club will be boycotted, every local affiliate of NBC will be bombarded by a very large segment of society that is sick and tired of those making money off the sexual exploitation of women,” he said. “The NBC brand, as well as Playboy will suffer great cost.”

NBC did not responded to FOX411.com’s request for comment.

Some People Just Don’t Get It

Working for a ministry that has chosen to take on a moral evil, pornography, we find ourselves getting all kinds of responses.  Today, we received an email from, as he put it, “a disgusted individual”.  If after we handle the situation I deem it appropriate to place some of the things he wrote in his “disgusted” email on the site, I will.  For now, however, I will speak to the general tone of pornography and the misunderstood ideology that often accompanies pornography in our country.

Porn is harmful.  The women in the sex industry that have turned their lives away from porn admit this to no end.  (Check out the work former porn actress Shelley Lubben is doing.)  Women are being exploited and MEN SHOULD NEVER EXPLOIT WOMEN, whether they walk into the situation or not.  IT IS NOT OKAY TO EXPLOIT WOMEN!!!

Porn is not a “free expression of sexuality”.  It is a disorder – an intimacy disorder.  The “disgusted individual” assumed that because we were out in front of a sexually oriented business (SOB) with our protest last evening, that we are against sex.  Not the case.  In fact, ALL of the men who were out in front of the SOB last evening are very fond of sex – but only within the context of marriage and chastity within marriage.  We don’t try to suppress sexuality, we want people to know about the right use of sexuality, which is never the use or abuse of an individual.  If sex is performed outside of the marital union, it is abused.  Plain and simple.  There is no way around it.

The “disgusted individual” also commented that we were somehow related to radical Muslim extremists that bombed the World Trade Centers nearly 10 years ago.  Can you believe this guy?!?!  We’re peacefully and prayerfully protesting a business that exploits women, destroys marriages and harms children (not to mention leads to abortion, rape, incest, domestic violence, child abuse, contraception and divorce) NOT blowing up buildings with airplanes.  Nice try, buddy, but that’s not going to fly with us.

And, he mentioned several times in his email that we were “forcing our beliefs down other people’s throats.”  I’ve heard this a lot before.  By standing out in front of this SOB, we are not forcing anything.  We are trying to raise awareness of the danger and evil of pornography by spreading the Truth.

Bob – I hope that you read this and I hope that we can converse some day in person.  You are misguided sir and your argumentation is lacking.  I hope to, in our in person conversation, share with you, with the utmost respect and charity, the reality of what’s going on with the sex industry and how your disdain for those of us who are “do gooders”, as you referred to in the email, are attempting to make our world a better, safer, more moral and healthy place to live.

TrueMan up!

Surprise, Surprise – Taliban Uses Porn

Many of you probably heard this week that some of the belongings that were confiscated in the raid on Bin Laden’s compound included a large quantity of pornography.  Surprise, surprise.

I find it incredibly ironic that the leader of the world’s most formidable terrorist organization, the man that the entire world (not including Pakistan – they knew he was there all along!) was looking for because of the dastardly and unconscionable deeds he had done or orchestrated, had the devil’s modern-day #1 source of evil in his midst.  DOES IT MAKE SENSE NOW?!  Porn doesn’t care who you are, what you do, what you believe in or don’t believe in, where you live, how many wives you have, how many children you have, how many people look up to you, how much destruction you can perform or any such thing!!!  PORN DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE!  It is no wonder that he had this garbage around him.

I find it ironic, too, that Islamic men require women to be covered up, yet there was porn.  And not just a little bit of porn, the news reports I saw said that he had an “extensive collection of pornographic materials.”  What a contradiction in terms.  Yet again, another display of what happens when the dignity of women is not upheld!  WHEN IS THE WORLD GOING TO UNDERSTAND?!?!

It really doesn’t surprise me that Bin Laden and his goons had porn.  Figures.

TrueMan up!

An Easy Way for EVERYONE to Fight Porn – TODAY!

Ok… I know most of your won’t come out to the sidewalks in front of sexually oriented businesses to help us protest pornography, but this is one way that EVERYONE can AND SHOULD help to be a part of this fight.  And, it is really simple – so no excuses!

Did you know that ALL hardcore pornography is ILLEGAL?!?!  ALL OF IT!  But, the US Attorney General, Eric Holder, hasn’t done anything about it – except for attempt to get President Obama to reverse the laws.  For the past several presidents, the war on pornography has gone back and forth, and likewise, the Attorney General does too.  (For more info, read up on the website “The War on Illegal Pornography” run by Patrick Trueman, Esq.  (Yes, you read that correctly – his name is Trueman!)

So, go to the site and sign the petition that will be attached to the letter going to President and Mrs. Obama.  (Click HERE for the full letter.)  It’s so easy – don’t let this opportunity go by!  Step up and start protecting women and children from the harms of pornography!  While doing that, you’ll be helping your fellow brother as well.  Do it!

TrueMan up!

From Her Perspective

The following is a poem written by a woman – a wife, a mother – that was devastated by her husbands addiction to pornography.  I don’t know the name of the poet, but I’ve spoken with many women who share her feelings.  Please take a few minutes and read this powerful poem.

“I Looked For Love in Your Eyes.”

I saved my best for you.
Other girls may have given themselves away,
But I believed in the dream.
A husband, a wife, united as one forever.

Nervous, first time, needing assurance of your love,
I looked for it in your eyes
Mere inches from mine.
But what I saw made my soul run and hide.

Gone was the tenderness I’d come to know
I saw a stranger, cold and hard
Distant, evil, revolting.
I looked for love in your eyes
And my soul wept.

Who am I that you cannot make intimate love to me?
Why do I feel as if I’m not even here?
I don’t matter.
I’m a sexual prop in a filthy play.
Not an object of tender devotion.

Where are you?

Years pass
But the hardness in your eyes does not.
You think I’m cold
But how can I warm to eyes that are making “mental sex” to someone else
Instead of making love to me?

I know where you are.
I’ve seen the pictures.
I know now what it takes to turn you on.
Women…someone’s young daughter like I once was

Women …. But artificially enhanced, acting, used and then discarded.
Images burned into your brain.
How could you think they would not show in your eyes?
Because souls don’t matter, only female bodies do
To men who consume them.

Did you ever imagine,
The first time you picked up a dirty picture
That you were dooming all intimacy between us
Shipwrecking your marriage
Breaking the heart of a wife you wouldn’t meet for many years?

If it stopped here, I could bear it.
But you brought the evil into our home
And our little boys found it.
Six and eight years old.
I heard them laughing, I found them ogling, their innocence now gone.

Little boys
My little boys
Laughing and ogling the sexual body
Of a woman, a woman like me.
Someone like me!

An image burned into their brains.

Will their wives’ souls have to run and hide like mine does?
When does it end?

I can tell you this. It has not ended in your soul.
It has eaten you up. It is cancer.
Do you think you can feed on a diet of distorted fantasies
And come out of your locked room to love?

You say the words, but love has no meaning in your mouth
When self-centeredness rules in your heart.
Your addiction has eaten up every vestige of the man
I thought I was marrying.
Did you ever dream it would so consume you
That your wife and children would live in fear of your hidden problem?

That is what you have become
Feeding your soul on poison.

I’ve never used porn.
But it has devastated my marriage, my family, my world.

Was it worth it?

If you are a woman dealing with your husband’s addiction to pornography, or any man’s addiction to pornography, you are not alone.  There are numerous resources available.  I’m an open door and welcome your emails or phone calls anytime.  Email me at Dave(at)TrueManhood(dot)com or call our offices at (412) 475-TRUE.

Men – it is time to stop thinking that your pornography use doesn’t effect anyone else.  It effects every part of your life, every relationship and every future relationship.  If you need help with your addiction, please contact me for a list of resources.

If any women are reading this who are addicted (studies say that 1 out of every 5 women is addicted to pornography), there are great resources for you as well.

TrueMan up!

More Embarrassing Than Anything Else?

This story has been in the news a significant amount over the past 11 months or so, but I thought it good to discuss it here on, apparently, the last stage of the case.  Lawrence Taylor, former NFL Linebacker for the NY Giants, was indicted on several counts of sexual misconduct, prostitution, having sex with an underage female, etc. etc. in May of 2010.  (For the entire case file and details, google or youtube videos for more specifics.)  Yesterday, Taylor was in court for his sex offender hearing.

There are lots of details to this case, but I want to focus on his response on this FOX News show.  Watch it then read below.

If you watched closely, you may have seen some of the glaring problems that I saw.  For instance, LT tried to justify his actions.  He seemed to shrug off the gravity of his actions.  He attempted to answer several of the questions, but as he proceeded, he seemingly realized that his honest answer would “get him in trouble” at home with his wife and he backed off.  As he stumbled through his answers, you could tell from both his body language and his stuttering that he was trying to give the political answer instead of owning up to what he did.  (From the start, LT’s story changed.  Originally, he said he never had sex with the prostitute, a 16 year old girl.  Then he admitted to pieces of the story, then eventually, he admitted – after taking a plea deal – to all of the charges.)  LT, you should have been honest from the start.  Better yet, you shouldn’t have been looking to a pimp to find you a woman to fornicate with.

And, what’s the deal with “then it’s all clean”???  Prostitution isn’t clean.  It does mess with emotions, with the chemical makeup, with relationships.  It’s not clean at all.

And another thing… yes, some of us are trying to shut down the sex trafficking industry!  One by one, 10 by 10, whatever it takes.

And no, Mr. Taylor, not everyone goes to prostitutes.  In fact, most of us don’t.  Please don’t speak for the rest of us.

Beyond the first interview, (in part 2) LT talks about his 5 year old son.  He appears to believe that his son will be a better man because of what he (LT) has gone through.  Let me tell you something… it doesn’t work like that.  Little boys act like their daddies, whether good bad or indifferent.  For the bad daddies, unless someone, hopefully their daddy himself, intervenes and sets a better example, the little boy is prone to bad behavior.  That’s painting the picture with broad strokes, but it’s the statistics.

In the end, I’m not saying there’s no hope for this guy.  I’m not saying that he won’t make it through.  I’m not saying that he’s going to use prostitutes again, or that his son is hopeless, or that a conversion to our Lord isn’t possible.  What I’m saying, similar to what I said about Tiger Woods, is that men like this, who have loads of influence and power, are detrimental to manliness because of their lack of knowledge and implementation of virtue.

TrueMan up!

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