Tuesdays with Daddy – “You Really Do Reap What You Sow”
November 18, 2009 by admin
Filed under Blog, Fatherhood, Tuesdays with Daddy, Virtue
Another installment of “Tuesdays with Daddy”. For those who don’t know, I stay home with my two young daughters on Tuesdays and always have something important to blog about.
Today, I realized that we really do reap what we sow. This morning, as I woke up with my two year old, I was amazed at how sweet she was. She was saying things to me, like, “Daddy, may I please have some more cereal?” and “Daddy, I love you, VERY MUCH!” and “Daddy, you’re wonderful!”
Do you see where I’m going with this? She’s repeating back to me phrases and statements (tone is important here, too) that I tell her often. If I regularly talked to her in rough words, or words that aren’t loving, caring and sincere, she would talk to me that way too. Eventually, she would probably speak to her teachers, coaches and friends in that same manner. Instead, I choose to speak to her in the way I want her to speak to me and the rest of the world – lovingly. (Be assured, I am firm when I need to be firm and scold when I need to scold.)
We really do reap what we sow. And we’re constantly being watched. With my girls, I’m being watched all the time. As a follower of Christ, I simply cannot choose to abandon this responsibility. I MUST work to exemplify Christ at all times. I drop the ball quite often (as many of you know) but continue to get up and fight. It’s a lot of responsibility, but if we expect to see change in our world for God, we must take this challenge on.
In your own life, I challenge you to figure out what you are sowing. Are you sowing love? Are you sowing anger, hatred, lust? We really do reap what we sow.
Man up!
When They Leave God Out
There are some men’s sites out there, trying to do some good work, trying to “get” at the heart of manhood. You may be familiar with The Art of Manliness, the National Fatherhood Initiative or maybe you’ve seen some footage recently on The Good Men Project – I’ve seen them all over the internet and videos of their TV appearances. I’m glad these sites, projects, books and resources are out there for men. However, when they leave God out, they’re leaving out THE important piece. Without God, faith in God and love for God, a male simply cannot fulfill his role as a man. Plain and simple.
Watch this video, and note, starting around 1:23, the attitude about “manhood being up for grabs” and “at a turning point”. And again, starting around 2:10, “there’s no good answer” – in reference to what makes a man “good”. And one last specific time to notice, 4:28 where again the notion of manhood is ever-changing and up to every one’s own interpretation.
I highly disagree with this line of thinking. There IS a standard, a definition. There is a specific way that a man can be a “good” man. It’s called virtue! Same with the *interesting* preacher from two posts ago, they’re missing the essential pieces about manhood. God guides us, strengthens us, enlivens us. Without God, we can’t live TrueManhood.
Man up!
Interesting Take on What Makes a Man a Man… (Funny Video)
You may or may not believe this video. I’m still not exactly sure what this preacher was talking about, or why he was talking about it. Before you watch it, let’s clarify what makes a male a man (a TrueMan)… virtue. Virtue is what makes a male a man. Prudence, Fortitude, Justice and Temperance. Faith, Hope and Love. Live them. (In Latin, virtus means manliness.) Here’s the video, have a good laugh.
Man up!
Smokin’ in a Blizzard
October 30, 2009 by admin
Filed under Blog, Fatherhood, Virtue
It’s been pretty cold here the last few days. The cold and snow typically get people to bundle up and only go out when they have to. Yesterday, however, I drove past a car with the driver’s side window down. At first, I thought it was because the driver was smoking, which turned out to be the case, but as I took a closer look, I noticed that a young boy was sitting in his car seat in the backseat of the car. Now, this blog isn’t about telling people not to smoke – smoking is gross and everyone already knows that. If someone chooses to smoke, they’ve already given up. What this blog IS about is challenging males to be better, to be TrueMen.
In the case of this father (the assumption here is that the man driving the car is the child’s father), not only was he smoking around his child, which is statistically proven to [enormously] increase the chances of his son smoking, starting at a young age, but more importantly he was playing freeze-out with his two year old in order to smoke! Yesterday’s high was around 28 degrees Fahrenheit! Does it sound to you like the father has his child’s best interest at heart? Or, as it appears to me, does the father have his nicotine addiction as his number one priority?
It’s pretty simple to see what the virtuous thing to do here is. Yes, quitting smoking would be a virtuous thing. However, the virtue of prudence is what this man should be striving for. Prudence would tell him that he 1. shouldn’t be smoking around his child and 2. that he should wait until he’s not in the car to smoke, thus not having to roll his window down when it’s freezing outside and his child is in the backseat of the car. C’mon, brother, put your kid’s needs and best interest before your cancer-sticks.
Man up!
The Power to Positively Effect Change
I don’t typically follow mainstream media, news or happenings, and I definitely don’t follow the NBA, so this story was interesting to me when I heard about it. Recently, in an interview with Maxim Magazine, LeBron James (Team Captain of the Cleveland Cavaliers) was quoted, when asked “If there was one guy on the planet you could dunk on, who would it be?”, as saying: “If it doesn’t have to be a basketball player, George W. Bush. I would dunk on his [ass], break the rim, and shatter the glass.” (LeBron is a known-supporter of Barack Obama.)
The friend who told me about this LeBron story wrote this to me in our correspondence: “Boston just beat the Cavaliers with King James and Shaq. After LeBron’s majorly inappropriate comment about wanting to dunk and shatter the backboard over Pres. Bush (more than any other person), I have lost respect for LeBron. How about dunking over Osama Bin Laden? In LeBron’s role model position, you just don’t show that kind of disrespect for the President even if you don’t like him. Not to mention, his poor sportsmanship in losing the playoffs last year… he wouldn’t shake hands after the game. Your manly opinion on this?“
In response, I wrote: “In my humble opinion, LeBron has no class, no leadership and an immaturity that rivals others. He who, in his position, could effect MAJOR POSITIVE CHANGE on a global level. On a manliness scale, he’d rank very very low. No virtue = Not Manly.”
The reason I highlighted positive change (both in my response to my friend and in the title of this post) is because LeBron could bring
about so much positive change in this world, simply because of his stature, his following and his presence in the media. The trouble here, is that if you ask a fan of LeBron if he’s effecting positive change in the world, they’ll emphatically say “Yes!” It’s a clouded judgment that some people can’t see past because he appears to be so influential and such a boost for the sport. A TRUE boost to the sport would be challenging men to live virtuous, moral lives.
Just my $.02 today.
Man up!
Virtue – a MUST
I feel like I’m constantly either writing or talking about virtue, but nearly everyday, I realize that we all need to hear about virtue more and more. Virtue is vital to living a Christ-centered life. What is virtue? In short, virtue means manliness (from the Latin virtus). Maybe that doesn’t make sense… how can Prudence, Justice, Fortitude and Temperance mean manliness? They don’t – they mean what they mean. It’s the opposite – manliness means possessing the virtues. Does that mean that in order to be manly a man must be virtuous?
Precisely! Authentic [true] manliness (the whole point of this website!) is living virtue! Plain and simple. Alright, so how do I know if I’m virtuous (or manly)? Take the test; the definition is “Virtue is the habitual and firm disposition to do the good.” You can’t partially possess virtue – it’s all or none. The test: do I perform the virtue as a habit while also doing it promptly, easily, consistently and with joy? If not, you don’t have that particular virtue. If so, then you do.
If you want to grow in virtue, it takes two things: 1. Grace and 2. Practice. The grace part isn’t up to you, but the practice part is. If you want to grow in virtue, practice makes perfect! Ask God for opportunities to practice each virtue. If you ask (sincerely), He’ll give you the opportunity. Try it, you’ll see. I recommend that you think long and hard about which virtue you need/want to work on the most (and soon!) and ask God for it. (I’d like to know how this works out for you – please keep me posted via comments or emails.)
So, then does that mean that women can’t be virtuous, or shouldn’t even try to be? No, not at all. And it doesn’t mean that a woman who is virtuous is manly. In the case of women, they should also be striving for virtue, which also means character, excellence, valor, etc. Women grow in virtue the same way men do, through grace and practice.
For a more concise explanation, check out the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraphs 1803-1845.
“The goal of a virtuous life is to become like God.” – St. Gregory of Nyssa.
Man up!
In Response to a Comment: More Positive Examples, Please
James,
I greatly appreciate your comment, keep ’em comin’! The topic of negative/judgemental material has been brought to my attention before, and I would like to publicly respond. I will write this post here, as well as respond to you in the comment section under “About TrueManhood’s Author”.
The first time I was asked about it, someone asked me, “Do I really believe that men are as bad off as I make them seem?” My answer was emphatically “Yes!”. I witness unconscionable behavior almost on a daily basis, and this behavior has become the socially accepted norm for males. I also, on occasion, see an example of manliness lived out in our modern world – I typically write about it.
I’d like to draw attention to the majority of my past posts during the months of June/July 09; these posts are positive examples of men living out virtue and encouraing others to do the same. Since Father’s Day, 7 of my last 9 posts have had optimistic and positive outlooks on men and their manliness. The few posts that seem to have a negative and/or seemingly judgemental approach are written as real life examples of men who fail to live out the call that has been placed on all of our hearts since the dawn of time. (See the discourse between God and Adam in The Book of Genesis.) These few “negative” examples are in place in order to bring light to the darkness and to hopefully start to reverse a trend that I (I believe we all see it happening in front of us daily) see happening in our culture; this trend is that a stereotypical male lives a certain way. I have referred to this as “cultural manliness” – the idea that a man is judged based on how much money, power, possessions and sex he has. I desire to fight this stereotype, reverse it so that the trend is of virtuous men living out their God-given call and to win souls for Christ.
I would really appreciate any and all comments on this topic!
Man up!
