Matt Fradd’s “Rules for Men to Break”

Today, for the first time in maybe 6 or 8 years, I sat in the crowd of a men’s conference merely as a participant.  I wasn’t a speaker at the event, nor was I running a vendor table.  It was relaxing, encouraging, and gave me some good thoughts about areas I would like to write/speak on, as well as some tips/hints where I can improve my speaking.  Overall, the day went very well and I think the 1,500 men in the room walked away inspired and enthusiastic.

Matt Fradd was one of the keynote speakers, as he often is at men’s conferences.  He did an outstanding job.  He is very good at the art of public speaking.  I’d like to recount his “5 Rules That Every Man Should Break”, and then give some thoughts of my own on the topic.

The 5 Rules:

1. Never get into a fight.
2. Never think about sex.
3. Never give into peer pressure.
4. Never risk it all.
5. Never ask for directions.

I’m happy to say that I’ve broken all of these rules!  Number 1: Although in my youth, I used to get into physical altercations frequently (sorry if you didn’t know that, Mom!), I now fight for things much more important – like the innocence of my children.  I fight for truth.  I fight the evils of pornography.  Getting into these sorts of fights… for goodness, and justice… is a good thing!  In fact, men are called to this.  To be effective, however, we must be educated, courageous, and prudent.

Number 2 is so important for us to understand.  Sex is a good thing!  Similarly to fire, sex needs to be contained, and looked at in context.  Fire, raging out of control, is bad.  It can destroy, and kill.  Sex, out of context and out of control, will ultimately destroy love and will kill us.  (For more on this, search out and read anything by Christopher West on the topic of Blessed John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”.  Especially reference any time that West refers to the “fast food diet vs. the starvation diet” of sex for more understanding of the correct Catholic view of sex.)

Number 3 can be tricky… we should give into peer pressure when the pressure of our peers is good and properly ordered.  This requires work on our part, and discipline, to put ourselves in good places with good people.  How many of us have solid, well-formed friends that we spend our time with?  Not only, however, that we spend our time with, but also that challenge us to live better, and hold us accountable to the standard that we want and are called to uphold?  If you don’t, you need to seek out these kinds of people and get to work!

Number 4 comes down to courageousness.  The courage to risk it all is within you!  If you’re a man and have been with a suitable woman for the right amount of time, don’t wait!  “Risk it all” and ask her to marry you already!  If you’re considering the priesthood, don’t sit around and waste time “discerning” more… make a decision and do it!  (Please don’t take my use of discernment as though I don’t believe in it.  I use it emphatically here b/c of how skewed it has become, and how it allows men to hide behind it like a mask, easily shucking any form of responsibility.)  Decisiveness is a virtue; a sub-virtue of prudence.

Number 5 takes our minds automatically to the road, but I’d prefer to take it deeper.  How about linking this to spiritual direction?  Accountability?  Obedience to our priests?  Taking directions from trusted, wise, and faithful men can be the difference between success and failure in life.

Thanks to Matt Fradd for this good list of rules to break.  Let’s step outside of the “norm” and be dangerous men for the Lord!  How many do you break?

TrueMan up!

Cultural Manliness Vlog – Get Your Gear On

Happy Lent 2014.  Ok, well maybe it’s not happy… it’s not supposed to be.  Either way, I’m pumped about Lent this year!  I’m ready to dive into my Lenten devotions so that I can work on growing in virtue, specifically through personal discipline and self-control.

Here’s a vlog on Cultural Manliness, encouraging men to be counter-cultural and to “get your gear on, and pack up.”

TrueMan up!

Back at It… Finally!

The day has come.  The time is now.  After a few years of dormancy, and many headaches in dealing the ramifications of our site being hacked back in 2011, and the countless and continued issues through 2012/13, TrueManhood.com is back up and running!  We are thrilled!  The first real blog post will come tomorrow.

I chose Ash Wednesday 2014 because I thought it was fitting.  In the attempt to help aid men in their journey towards TrueManhood (aka “authentic masculinity”), what better time than now to unite our lives to Jesus Christ?  That’s what Lent is all about.  As the perfect example of TrueManhood, we know that Jesus provides the model by which to live.

We’re going to work to bring solid content, and focus on an area that we know needs some serious attention… “cultural manliness^©“.  Essentially… “What does it mean for a male to be a man?”  For those reading who might not know this term, cultural manliness is the idea of masculinity that the world is selling to males.  It tells us that “the more power, money, sex, and stuff a man consumes, the more manly he is.”  As I’ve written time and again, this is a lie!  Masculinity is all about virtue, not about consuming things and people.

We welcome all men to journey with us towards TrueManhood.  However, be aware… TrueManhood is counter-cultural, radical, and about persevering in these areas.  It is not easy.  It is not always fun.  It is not the way of the world.  Get your gear on, make preparations, and come along in the battle.

TrueMan up!

Abortion – The Problem is Men

Did you know that we have a holocaust taking place in our country?  It’s happening in every state, and it is legal.  4,000 human lives are being destroyed each day, and the courts support this innocent slaughter of human life, and we’re supposed to go along with it.  Tax dollars, government subsidy, lobbyists, pharmaceutical companies, healthcare; they’re all wrapped up into it.  It’s called Abortion.

It is unfathomable that we allow abortion, especially knowing all we know about it.  There are countless facts, statistics, and logical arguments why abortion is murder, but I’m not going to get into any of those.  I’m going to concentrate on the real problem.  The problem with abortion is men.

Why?  Plain and simple.  85% of all abortions taking place in America are performed on single women.  That means that out of the 4,000 babies that were murdered today, 3,400 of those women who had an abortion were not married, and as many of you know, they feel they have no way out.  When single women are out sleeping around, who are they sleeping with?  Males.  Who gets them pregnant?  Males.  (Yes, God plays a huge part in the creation of that life, too.)  The facts continually lead back to the actions of the men.

If a woman is married, in a safe environment and protected, she isn’t likely to get an abortion.  Facts are facts.  These women feel led, protected and provided for, thus they welcome a new child.  Women who aren’t, don’t.  Men – when are we (as a gender) going to stop being selfish and self-serving and start protecting and cherishing women?  If you’re not married to her, you have no right to her – don’t touch!  She’s not there for your pleasure.  Serve her!  Take care of her!  Love her!!!

I heard a story today of a 20-year-old single woman who recently found out she was pregnant.  The sperm donor (best way to describe him… he isn’t married to her, isn’t her boyfriend, wasn’t even really her friend, just a “meaningless” hookup) told her “I’ll pay for everything.  I’ll even give you a ride and drop you off.  It’ll be fine.”  Class act, right?  Is the problem the baby?  CERTAINLY NOT!  Is the problem the young woman?  Not really, although she plays into the equation.  The problem is the man.  I hate referring to this sort of male as a man, because he most definitely is not living like one.

Men – abortion is only available because we allow it to be… because, in some totally screwed up way, we necessitate it by our actions.  Don’t be fooled, abortion is not about women’s health, women’s bodies, or women’s choice.  That’s a huge load of garbage.  And listen, I’m not saying that women don’t have anything to do with it, certainly they do, but the responsibility is on us.  Abortion will cease when men stop sleeping around, stay faithful and monogamous, and stop allowing the abuse, assault and murder of innocent babies.  The time is now, brothers.

TrueMan up!

Men, and Virtue, and How to Attain It

I wrote an article for “Made in His Image” ministry on men and virtue.  Typical stuff for TrueManhood, but something that Maura’s readers might not get a lot of.  To help support her and what she’s doing, please click the link to take you to there.

“Men, and Virtue, and How to Attain It” – CLICK THIS LINK

What MIHI is all about is helping women who struggle with eating disorders and/or who were victimized by abuse.  There is currently no other Catholic organization specializing in inpatient medical care for the healing of women, and Maura is working on creating this much needed resource.  I greatly applaud Maura for her efforts.  The issue of eating disorders and abuse can go hand in hand.  For countless numbers of women, young women specifically, a lack of self-worth can spur into many psychological, physical, emotional and spiritual issues.

For men, the issue that is constantly looming over us is the issue of sexual integrity, mostly dealing with pornography.  Not every man struggles, but just about every man did, does, or will.  For women, one main issue (compared to men’s issues with pornography, lust, etc.) is self-esteem and eating disorders, most of the time stemming from abuse of some kind.  Not all women struggle with this, but many do and more will if nothing is done about it.

I plan to write an article soon on the problems that women face when they fail to find their value from the proper source.  Watch for that soon.  You’ll be seeing more about MIHI on TrueManhood.com in the future.

TrueMan up!

Catholic Men’s Blog, Back Up and Running!

With great excitement, I write to let everyone know that TrueManhood is back up and running!  After a break for over 2 months due to a website hack, we were finally able to remove all the malware and are back at it.  Thank you to the hacker for allowing me to learn about website security a little bit more and about ways to protect my website from future hacks.  I pray for you and hope for your sake, that  from now on, instead of hacking my website, that you actually read it.

Many things have taken place in the world of Catholic men’s ministry, in the Catholic Church, in the pro-life battle and in America and we are sorry that we’ve missed it.

More to come soon on the fight against pornography, cultural manliness, and the culture of death!

TrueMan up!

“My Banner is Clear”

At the last two TKM Into the Wild retreats in October, we came across this very powerful and invigorating writing in the Magnificat from Patrick Madrid, a Catholic author and apologist.  The timing of this publication was impeccable.  It was amazing to hear the men read these words after having gone through so much growth on the weekend.  Many men embraced these words and are now Part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE UNASHAMED

THE DIE HAS BEEN CAST. THE DECISION HAS BEEN MADE.  I HAVE STEPPED OVER THE LINE. I WON’T LOOK BACK, LET UP, SLOW DOWN, BACK AWAY, OR BE STILL.

MY PAST IS REDEEMED, MY PRESENT MAKES SENSE, AND MY FUTURE IS IN GOD’S HANDS. I AM FINISHED AND DONE WITH LOW LIVING, SIGHT WALKING, SMALL PLANNING, THE BARE MINIMUM, SMOOTH KNEES, COLORLESS DREAMS, TAMED VISIONS, MUNDANE TALKING, FRIVOLOUS LIVING, SELFISH GIVING, AND DWARFED GOALS.

I NO LONGER NEED PREEMINENCE, PROPERITY, POSITION, PROMOTIONS, APPLAUSE, OR POPULARITY. I DON’T HAVE TO BE RIGHT, FIRST, THE BEST, RECOGNIZED, PRAISED, REGARDED OR REWARDED. I NOW LIVE BY FAITH. I LEAN ON CHRIST’S PRESENCE. I LOVE WITH PATIENCE, LIVE BY PRAYER, AND LABOR WITH THE POWER OF GOD’S GRACE.

MY FACE IS SET. MY GAIT IS FAST, MY GOAL IS HEAVEN. MY ROAD IS NARROW, MY WAY IS ROUGH, MY COMPANIONS ARE FEW, MY GUIDE IS RELIABLE, AND MY MISSION IS CLEAR.

I CANNOT BE BOUGHT, COMPROMISED, DETOURED, LURED AWAY, TURNED BACK, DELUDED, OR DELAYED.  I WILL NOT FLINCH IN THE FACE OF SACRIFICE, HESITATE IN THE PRESENCE OF ADVERSITY, NEGOTIATE AT THE TABLE OF THE ENEMY, PONDER AT THE POOL OF POPULARITY, OR MEANDER IN THE MAZE OF MEDIOCRITY.

I WON’T GIVE UP, SHUT UP, LET UP, OR SLOW UP UNTIL I HAVE STAYED UP, STORED UP, PRAYED UP, PAID UP, AND SPOKEN UP FOR THE CAUSE OF CHRIST.

I AM A DISCIPLE OF JESUS. I MUST GO TILL HE COMES, GIVE UNTIL I DROP, SPEAK OUT UNTIL ALL KNOW, AND WORK UNTIL HE STOPS ME.  AND WHEN HE RETURNS FOR HIS OWN, HE WILL HAVE NO DIFFICULTY RECOGNIZING ME. MY BANNER IS CLEAR; I AM A PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE UNASHAMED.

BY PATRICK MADRID

« Previous Page — Next Page »