My Priority
If you bare with me on this post, I’m going to share something very personal. I’ve really been struggling with something, and I’ve been letting my wife down in regards to this struggle. In short, I tell her that she’s my number one priority, but my actions don’t line up. My intentions are to make her my top priority, and to do everything I can for her, our kids, our family. I really want this to be the case. Unfortunately, I’ve really been dropping the ball on proving it to her. I want badly to be the man that she needs, wants and deserves, however, I fail often.
I have no excuse. Even though our work schedules are almost opposite, and when they happen to line up we both have other responsibilities that our family depends on for survival, I have no reason why I can’t prove to her that she’s my honest-to-goodness number one priority. It’s the little bit of time that I should give fully to her, that I’ve been failing in. It’s not even like she wants that much from me, just a little effort. My effort has been completely lackluster and I owe her a huge apology. But you know what?… she doesn’t want an apology, she wants change. She wants to hear what I’m going to do and then see me do it.
The important thing to remember is this: in order for my words to mean anything, my actions must back them up. The ol’ “Put your money where your mouth is” or better yet, the famous, “Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk.”
Our marriage isn’t perfect and those who know me know that I’m far from perfection. I run this website and blog and speak to men all over the country not in the sense that I’m trying to teach you everything there is to know about being an authentically manly man… I’m on this journey with you. I learn something new everyday, and I’m constantly working to be better. The thing that I think sets a TrueMan apart from other men is that he knows there are areas in his life where he needs to improve and he not only wants and tries to change, he takes action.
I challenge you to look at your own life and see the areas where you’re dropping the ball. Pick the ball up and get back on track. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk.
Man up!
I’ll be praying for you and your family, my friend. I had a similar thing happen to me recently. I would spend a lot of my time doing work at home, and even though I tried to spend time with my wife, I still had work on my mind. She knew the difference between me being fully engaged and when I was thinking about work, big time. One of the ways God helped was that I now do a lot of my work when my family is asleep (hence why I am writing this at 3am). When I leave my day job, and get home, it’s all family.
You said that you have opposite schedules, so that’s a bit different. But I am sure that through communicating of both of your needs and desires, you can find a way to be an attentive husband, and a great leader of men.