No Idea Where to Take It
Since my first post about Tiger (nine days ago), an incredible amount of information has surfaced in this story. 
Obviously, we’ve all seen or heard at least some details. At this point, I have no idea where to take it. There’s so much to talk about, I don’t care to get into it. To me, Tiger has become another Lindsay Lohan/Britney Spears/A-Rod/John&Kate+8 tabloid star. In light of this, I probably won’t blog more about him or this situation unless something really sticks out to me.
In response to a comment I received, I’d like to clear up a few things. Here is the comment:
While I certainly do not condone his behavior, I think you are being a bit judgmental – especially when you state that “I won’t forget.” You are carrying a grudge against him and seem as though you are unwilling to forgive him for his transgressions. Hate the sin, not the sinner.
Tiger is at a low point in his life. He obviously has some major problems that he needs to deal with. On the news this morning, I heard reports of even more affairs and a possible addiction to pain killers.
Advent is a time of forgiveness and repentance. We need to forgive him. Tiger needs to repent. Pray that he understands the ramifications of his actions and that he is able to deal with these issues head on (repent).
I’ve discussed the topic of “judgmental” before, but I’ll clear up the confusion. Typically, the term ‘judgmental’ is misused in our society. Although I may receive some flack for this, to be judgmental is good… we judge actions of individuals to determine whether or not they would be good friends. As a parent, I judge the actions of individuals to determine whether or not they can have contact with my children. We judge decisions, records and work-ethic of political figures to determine whether or not we should vote for them. We judge moral decisions. We judge a great deal of things. In this case, I was judging Tiger’s actions. The confusion, I believe, comes when judgmental is used in place of “condemning”. When we condemn others, we put ourselves in the place of Christ, taking the position of “you’re going to hell because of…”. Condemning others is not our place, nor will it ever be. Judgment is a virtue, in fact, you can read about it in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1806, under the heading of Prudence.
I’m not “unwilling to forgive” Tiger, nor am I carrying a grudge. My point in the previous post about Tiger was that he is in the lime light and can’t simply turn that off because he made some mistakes. His actions (morally right, wrong or indifferent) will have lasting effects on society. You may say I’m stretching it here, but there will be men who think to themselves, and some who actually say the words out loud, “Tiger did it, it’s okay for me to do it too”. His influence is (was) too powerful for that not to happen.
Also mentioned was the topic of forgiveness. Yes, we are in Advent; it’s not a time of forgiveness or repentance, as stated in the comment. Advent is a time of preparation and expectancy for the coming birth of the Christ child. So, let’s look at this in the context of the Tiger situation, how does Advent play a role in how we look at everything? First off, it’s not my place to forgive him, he has not trespassed against me… that’s for God and Tiger’s wife Elin. Next, it was necessary that Jesus came into this world, to unite us to the Father because of our failings. Our (mankind’s) sins were so grave that God Himself HAD to take human form, lowering Himself to human status, in order to redeem us. Tiger, the same as all of us, needs God’s grace, His forgiveness and His mercy. In this time of suffering and struggle for Tiger, I wish him healing. I pray for a conversion of his soul. Tiger obviously needs God, he might not know it yet, but he needs him. And yes, you’re right, “hate the sin, love the sinner”.
I highly recommend that we all take a break from this tabloid saga and concentrate on more important things, like manning up!
Man up!
I really like your discussion about judging. I think that too often there are those in our faith, and other Christians that shout for forgiveness before an accounting of the actions creating the need for that forgiveness occurs.
What is interesting is to see how this affects Tiger as compared to others of similar notariaty in other “professions.” The PGA is a pretty conservative place… so we may unfortunately see more condemning than we may have seen in other sports.
Most importantly though, I think that the way we all consider this is an important statement as to how we think about the idea of fidelity, marriage, fame, success, etc…
I do think we are a long way off before we can fully evaluate this situation.
Thanks for addressing the misuse of “judgmental”. Like many things in Catholicism (social justice teaching, NFP, etc.) it’s often misunderstood.
Also, Thanks for manning up and taking a break from the Tiger saga. It bores me to tears and has taken up way too much time and attention in Talk Radio, blogs, etc.. It’s just like LiLo and Jon&Kate, it’s a distraction from things that are happening TO us like the Federal Government’s attempt to take over 1/6 of our economy and their constant spending which they plan to account for by raising taxes of nearly every American.
These tabloid stories also distract us from seeing the sinfulness in our own lives and get us to focus on the splinter in the eye of our neighbor. Basically, it’s gossip.
Keep up the good work.
I know you want to drop this but I think there are some good learning opportunities here. First of all, thanks for helping me to understand the difference between being judgmental and condemning. I guess I should have chosen my words more carefully.
I also should have chosen my words about Advent more carefully as well. For me, Advent is a time of examination and discernment. That means I need to open my heart and find a way to love and care about others, just as Jesus loves and cares for me.
The point I was trying to make is that we, as men, need to display the virtue of charity (love) by praying for Tiger. When a fellow man is down and out and needs us most, we can sometimes turn away from him – we don’t “man up” when we see a guy in need. Not a lot of folks on Tiger’s side right now. We need to look past the sins he has committed and pray that he receives the Holy Spirit’s gifts of wisdom and understanding. We need to pray for his wife and others that he has hurt, that they can find a way to forgive him.
I know it sounds crazy, but Tiger has a great opportunity to ‘Man Up’ – depending on how he chooses to handle the situation. He can show the world how to take responsibility for his “past transgressions” and how to act prudently going forward. He can use his celebrity status to say: “I am human, I fell and I hurt many people in the process. It cost me dearly. Not only financially, but in the trust and reputation I had worked so hard to develop. By the grace of God, I have been lifted up. I continue to work on building my reputation back up but it is a daily struggle. My fellow men, take it from me, this is not a path you want to go down.”
Guys,
Thanks for all the comments, they really add a lot to the site. I wish we got in more discussions with more people! If you have suggestions of how to do that, let me know! (I’m a novice at this website stuff.)
John, I really like your point about praying for Tiger, and how “when a fellow man is down and out and needs us most, we can sometimes turn away from him.” So true. Let’s all stop, right now, and pray for Tiger. Even if it’s a “Glory Be”, we are offering up his needs to the Father. It will benefit him. And, your point about Tiger’s opportunity to now “man up” is brilliant. He could do a lot of good for our world if he would do this. I don’t think that it’s the world’s style, so I’ll be shocked if it happens. However, I know how much I’ve changed over the years (for the better) and I know it’s possible for other men to change too.
Tiger, Man up brother!
~Dave, founder of TrueManhood.com