Tuesdays with Daddy – A Kid Pouts, but a Man Shouldn’t

This morning, my oldest daughter woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  From her nap this afternoon, she woke up on the wrong side of the bed, again.  Nothing was right for her all day.  She didn’t want to play when playtime was suggested.  She didn’t want to eat, when meals were prepared.  She didn’t want to clean up, she didn’t want to nap, she didn’t want to play, she didn’t want to pray.  Then, to top it all off, a huge snow storm hit our region and is potentially preventing us from getting to the airport and flying to visit family – she was not happy about these details.  She reacts and her reaction is to pout, throw a tantrum and fuss.  A man shouldn’t react that way.

As a grown up (or as a “growing” up), we must realize that our reactions to tough situations should be even keeled.  More properly put, our reactions should be “ordered”.  I recently watched a program on prison inmates.  The inmates seemed pretty calm and easy to get along with while on camera, but unruly, defiant and violent when someone made them mad.  They looked like a little kid who wasn’t getting their way, and anyone in their way paid the price.  A TrueMan reacts differently.

When I was younger, my reactions to tough situations were pitiful.  As I’ve grown older with age, and as I’ve come out the other side of a really bad rage problem, it has become very clear to me that men of virtue, ie: TrueMen, don’t allow their emotions to determine how they act.  TrueMen act out of truth… with responsible reactions.  It’s a good thing to work on.

Man up!

Put Them First

It’s really easy to get busy with lots of things in life and, consequently, push our wives and children to the back burner.  I want to challenge you to guard against this.  If you’re not a husband or father yet, you can apply this to the important people in your life currently, but keep it in mind for your future – that’s when it really counts.  How can a guy who’s so busy with work, taking care of the house and vehicles and working on other projects manage to put his wife and kids first?  Simple – It’s a choice.

With everything in life, you have to choose.  Don’t just talk, act.  Don’t just wish, make it fact.  It’s rewarding to know that my children know me, love me and learn from me – daily.  In my life, here’s what I do to guard against pushing them out of the first spot:

I take every opportunity to be with them.  This might mean feeding them, changing their diapers and/or putting them to bed at night.  Whatever it is, I make an honest effort, daily, to do it.  [As often as possible, I do the “extra” or “other” stuff when they are napping or asleep.]

I make myself present to them… that means that I’m interacting with them, reading to them, playing with them, holding them, kissing and hugging them, etc.  This involves shutting the TV off and being actually present.  This doesn’t mean simply being in the same area as they are.

I take every opportunity to be with my wife.  If it can be with her and the kids at the same time, that’s what I prefer, but obviously, alone time is crucial.  A strong marriage, between faithful, committed spouses, is a perfect example to children and one that can’t be replaced.  It’s crucial to spend the alone time together to work on the foundational relationship within the family unit.

It’s easy to talk a big game.  It’s Truly Manly to back it up with your actions.

Man up!