Cultural Manliness Takes Its Toll

I made a point tonight to watch the Jesse James interview on ABC’s Nightline.  Jesse was going to be speaking about his marriage-gone-bad and his acts of infidelity and I thought it would be some decent fodder for the site.  Jesse has been in the spotlight, limelight and tab-light ever since the news of his infidelity hit the wires.  Jesse is married to “America’s Sweetheart”, Sandra Bullock.  The divorce papers have been filed.

During the interview, Jesse appeared embarrassed, ashamed and scared.  He seemed to mix his ‘bad boy’ persona with, what I believe to be his real persona, honesty.  I don’t believe that this interview will ‘reinstate’ him, but I believe that there are a few points worth mentioning.

1. Jesse appeared honest.  He didn’t attempt to sugarcoat what he had done, he took responsibility and ownership of his horrible choices and knows that he has to deal with those consequences.
2. Jesse appeared to understand the pain and tragedy that he has caused both Sandra and, more devastating than that, his children.  I believe that he showed that his children are important to him and that he knows he messed up royally.  At the time of his acts of indiscretion, he was unconcerned with the effects of his actions.  Now, however, it appears that he realizes just how much his actions effect those around him.  I don’t think the choked-up tears were a show.
3. Jesse is missing something huge in his life.  [I hate to make this assumption, but it was pretty clear to me, after watching the interview that…]  Jesse is missing God in his life.  There’s a huge gap, a gap that can only be filled by the Father’s love.  If Jesse has a relationship with God, it wasn’t apparent in any of his actions or words.
4. Jesse is a walking testament that Cultural Manliness takes its toll on a man.  Going after power, money, sex and stuff will only leave you empty.  The allure of Cultural Manliness is that it appears so enjoyable, so laid-back, so tempting.  Jesse spoke about how perfect his life was, yet he gave into the temptation of what the world tells us is manly.  It left him wanting more.  Jesse admitted that he had many extra-marital affairs, and that “it could have been a million women.”  His point was that even one act of infidelity was too much.  He, obviously, is correct in his thinking.  By giving into the temptations of Cultural Manliness, Jesse found himself nearly at the end of his rope.
5. Jesse spoke about being physically and emotionally abused as a child.  Although I sympathize with abused persons, it does not justify poor, or even abusive, behavior.  Jesse cannot hide behind his past experiences of abuse.  He must continue to own his actions and encourage other victims of abuse to do the same.

In closing, I partially feel bad for Jesse James and I also am disgusted by him.  Cultural Manliness left the guy empty and alone.  He made some mistakes and although it’s unlikely, he could change.  He could come to know Christ and become a faithful Catholic.  On the other hand, he knew what was right and wrong the entire time and decide to throw it all away for some sex.  He had (and still has) a great deal of influence on our world and I believe he took that for granted.

TrueMan up!