Living Balance? No thanks, I’ll stick with Order.

A lie flying around in our culture – one that is very prevalent, and common-language for many – is the encouragement to “Live a balanced life.” (or other variations of it.)  It’s sneaky in the way that it is extremely mainstream while still flying under the radar.  It’s subtle, yet dangerous.  I’ll explain.

Living balance is the commonly held idea that — if a person does things in a balanced way, or at least in a way that doesn’t emphasize something too much or too little, that he’ll be living rightly.   And thus, by living rightly, he will become happy.  If everything in a person’s life is “just right”, and nothing tips the scales one way or the other, the balance they experience will make all things right.  —  There are many problems with this idea.  First, living balance isn’t rooted in anything tangible, ie: what does ‘balance’ even mean?  Doing merely what I want to do (balance), even if in a moderate fashion, doesn’t mean that I’m doing what I ought to do (order.)  What we ought to be doing, regardless of who we are or what our state in life may be, is to live virtue.  Living virtue allows us “not only to do good acts, but to give the best of our self.”  (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1803.)  Giving the best of myself is what I ought to do.

The “balance lie” would state that as long as the individual isn’t negating some aspect of his life, or at least not too much, he can do each activity in a balanced fashion.  The truth about order is that, I’m called to living a life that is worth the very best.  Choosing activities merely because I want to do them, isn’t necessarily pointing me towards that very best.  Depending on what activities I’m doing, they may or may not be evil in-and-of-themselves, yet they may not be quite what I ought to be doing.  Here, the question must go deeper (again, more than simply what I want to do) and ask the question, do I possess the virtue of temperance?  Am I exercising justice?  What about fortitude?  Am I living prudently?  Are my actions pointing towards charity?  In attempting, however, to live virtue and do the greatest good, I’m challenged to order those things, along with others in my life, so that ultimately, I’m able to possess the virtues and live as closely to the example set by Christ as possible.

Here’s a video where I explain this idea a bit further.  Live order.

TrueMan up!

Busy, Frustrated, Anxious, Confused

Lately, life has been on a lightspeed pace.  I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.  I’m frustrated with various things, anxious about what’s happening in life and confused as to what God’s doing in my life.  But I’m a man… I shouldn’t be admitting this.  Right?  I should be strong and well-put-together.  I should have everything taken care of with time to spare.  Right?  I should be self-sufficient.  I should be completely ahead of the curve.  Should, should, should.

Well, we all know that sometimes we aren’t ahead of the curve.  Sometimes, life gets busy and we get behind.  How do you keep it all straight?  How do you keep your head above water?  Are you a yes-aholic?  Do you have trouble ordering your priorities?  (I’ve written about priorities before, just do a search for “PRIORITY” and you’ll find some good stuff.)  Do you struggle with loads of work yet waste away time on meaningless activities and hobbies?

I recommend a few things.  First and foremost, I recommend that you examine your prayer life.  If you’re praying, your foundation is strong and you take the necessary time to sit in quiet with God.  If you’re not praying, try starting with 15 minutes a day.  Along with daily prayer, frequent reception of the Sacraments is vital.  Next, I recommend that you organize your life however works best for you.  Maybe it’s a planner, a calendar, a list, post-it notes, etc.  Don’t just let life happen to you, dictate what your day looks like.  Next, I recommend that you (if you’re in the same boat as me) start saying ‘no’ to some things.  Today, I cancelled three future meetings (to be rescheduled) and moved two other events around so I could breathe.  Do whatever it takes to order your life properly.  An ordered life is the goal, because then everything is in it’s proper place.  “Living balance means that you’re doing what you want to do.  Living order means that you’re doing what you ought to do.”

As men, sometimes we are told that we can’t or shouldn’t rely on others for help.  This is not logical, it’s not practical and it’s not Scriptural.  Lean on those around you to help you out.  Reach out to friends, family, colleagues that will assist you in reaching your goals.  Showing vulnerability or the need for help doesn’t mean you’re less manly, it just means that you need some help.  In this entire process, I recommend taking life in stride and to remain positive.  If you are negative, and if you complain, you will only add stress and strain on your already busy lifestyle.

Best of luck in reaching your goals!  Your prayers for me are appreciated as I navigate the everchanging and rapid waters of my life.

TrueMan up!