Changing a Man
Is it possible to change a person? Specifically, is it possible to change a man? I hear this topic brought up a lot, especially in the case of bad relationships. The question is frequently asked in regards to a man who isn’t doing what he’s supposed to be doing. The question is frequently coming after hindsight kicks in and someone recognizes that they picked a less-than-perfect-man to date, marry or befriend.
So, what do you think? Is it possible to change a person? Is it possible for a person with little-to-no-potential to change? I firmly believe so! Why do I believe so firmly in this? Because I changed! I change everyday, I strive to get better, I strive to change my ways – further away from my desires, interests and comforts, and more towards Christ Jesus! I think we all have the internal power to change for the better.
I write this post because I see situations regularly, and some very “close to home”, that cause me to wonder why people (men specifically) don’t change!?! There are so many wonderful things in life to experience, and so much good to be done, and so many people to influence for the positive… why do some people wallow in their filth? It boggles my mind.
I look at my life and notice that I desire change. If my wife isn’t happy with something I’m doing, I don’t become defensive and argumentative, I work on getting better! If my children aren’t responding to my parenting, I don’t blame them, I work to be a better father. If my prayer life isn’t as strong as I need it to be, I don’t get angry at God, I pray more. You see, in my life, I have learned that I must be the cause for the change I want to see. I can’t blame others for things I don’t like. I can’t sit around and stay stagnant. I can’t be okay with mediocre. I must work to grow, to change, to be the man that God created me to be. We all must do this!
One other thing here… If you know a guy who needs to change, give him the chance. Have really high expectations and don’t settle for second best. He has the potential to be better, he just might need to see that someone expects more out of him and that it really does matter how he lives, treats others and believes. However, if you’ve given someone a chance, and they constantly choose to make poor decisions, to wallow in their filth and refuse to grow, be careful how much you invest in them. I’m not telling you to stop investing in them, I’m merely suggesting that you be careful. Ladies – if you are dating a man who doesn’t want to change, be very weary to stay with him. You deserve a man who will strive to be the best he can be. Don’t expect marriage to make it better, it may in fact make it worse.
TrueMan up!
In a World of Negativity, Think Positive
There’s a lot of junk happening lately and lots of bad stuff happening in the world. We’ve got gigantic problems in Washington, we’re
fighting a war in the Middle East where there hasn’t been peace, well, ever. We’re constantly facing persecution for being “moral, ethical citizens”. Babies are being destroyed for the sake of convenience and preference. A good deal of the time, it doesn’t seem like anything is ever going to get better.
Look on the bright side, we have lots to be thankful for. Someone, somewhere has it much, much worse than you or me. Belly-achin’ and complainin’ about stuff isn’t going to make anything better. Yes, there are plenty of really horrible things taking place in our world, but they shouldn’t effect our daily lives from being focused and centered on Christ.
Imagine how badly St. Paul had it… beatings, being stoned, imprisonment and so on! (Read Philippians 2:12-18.)
Thinking positively helps us take a bad situation and turn it into something decent. There’s serious power in the reality of the power of positive thought. I encourage everyone to try three things over the next three days, and see if your attitude changes.
- Refrain from complaining.
- Find a positive side to everything.
- Do something kind for someone else at least once a day.
After three days, after you’ve tried these three things, comment back, or email, or post on Facebook, or wherever. I want to know what you experienced.
Man up!
Always Being Watched
A TrueMan realizes that he’s always being watched. He realizes that he’s always in the microscope of someone else… either trying to learn from him or trying to pick apart his actions, words, attitudes, reactions and leadership. How does a man deal with this pressure? How does a man cope with the daunting task of never messing up? The answer, in this case, is not simple. The answer is a unique answer for each and every man out there, because each and every man has a different demeanor, perspective, outlook and characteristics.
Here’s a few things to remember that might make it easier:
- Be yourself. If you’re really striving to be a man, you’ll succeed here. Strive for virtue and keep your eyes on Christ.
- Be concerned, each and every day, with being better and better. This might include professionally, personally, spiritually, physically, etc. If you are always striving for perfection, your mind is always geared towards success.
- Think. Thinking prevents many bad choices throughout the day – do it.
- Pray. A man of prayer is grounded in Christ – this helps you see clearly to make the tough decisions and to always stand strong.
- Be humble. People are waiting to pick apart any little piece of you they can… why give them any reason to be right? Be relentless in humility.
There’s a reality here that can really bite someone… if you fail in an area of your life, and someone who is watching you sees it, there’s a long road ahead to mend the impression that they now have of you. First impressions are huge. Continuing impressions are huge. Also, please note that “failing in life”, here, means that you took a mistake to the extreme. For instance: you’re the leader of a group of students against drunk driving and you get hit with a DUI. Or, you speak about purity/chastity then get your girlfriend pregnant. These are the types of failings that push people away, that encourage people to use the word hypocrite. All in all, you can pick yourself up and move on, but the impact you have on others will be lasting. Be smart, make good decisions.
Man up!
