Vocational Discernment

Something that I’ve been discussing lately at the Air Force Academy among some of the faithful Catholic cadets is the topic of vocational discernment.  For those who may not know, a vocation is a calling.  (From the Latin, vocare.)  The world would like to suggest that our calling is to something like an occupation; something we are drawn to and enjoy.  Vocations, however, are much deeper than this.  Vocations are about the call from God that will bring us fulfillment and happiness in life, to prepare us for life eternal with God in Heaven.  The discernment part is how someone goes about listening to the call and applying that call in their life.

Many of the young men I have been discussing vocations with lately seem to know that they are called to the priesthood – however, they are all in different places with their decision making process.  One young man is denying his call.  Another is preparing to leave to enter seminary in a few months.  Another wants badly to leave and enter a religious order, yet, doesn’t have the support from important family members.  They are all journeying towards Christ.  In this journey, they will find their way if they keep their eyes on Christ.

If you are currently discerning your vocation – married, religious or consecrated single life -, I recommend you take the following steps.

1. Have an active, daily Sacramental and prayerful life.
2. Seek a qualified spiritual director and meet with him regularly.
3. Read good quality, orthodox, Catholic spiritual books.
4. Talk to lots of people – priests, religious, seminarians, married men, married fathers and single men.  Gather that information and prudently process it.  (Ask lots of questions.)
5. Spend at least 2 minutes per day gazing at a crucifix contemplating Christ’s example of love.

A word to family and friends of men discerning their vocation.  I urge you to support them, whether you agree or not with their decisions.  If a young man chooses the priesthood, via a call from God, don’t think that it’s an abrogation of life, or life as you know it.  The priesthood is an incredible calling and must be respected and supported.  Many believe that the priesthood is suppressing reality and suppressing sexuality and suppressing the desire to have a family.  This is simply not true.  Please, refrain from being a stumbling block in a man’s discernment.  Support him, love him, answer his questions, attempt to guide him.  In the end, however, it’s the man’s decision, not yours.

Here’s a short clip called “Fishers of Men” from the Vocations Office in NYC.  Click HERE if you can’t see the video below.

TrueMan up!

Clarification on Previous Post – "Examples All Around" from Sep 22, 09

I really appreciate the comment from a reader who asked me to clarify why I think the descriptions from the previously-posted Facebook status update (posted originally on September 22, 2009) was so horrible.  Here goes:

As you can see, the Facebooker updated their status with one of those “quizzes” to rate yourself on “What Movie Badass Are You?”  His initial response was “Guns, Girls and Cars… isn’t that the definition of a badass?”  I first want to mention that most guys want to appear “hard” or, in this case, a “badass”.  It’s that thing inside us, a territorial thing, an “I can kick your butt” thing.  There’s a connotation that goes along with that feeling… that in order to really be hard, you must get as many women as possible, you’ve absolutely got to have a sweet ride and the more guns and ammo you have, the harder you must be.  (I could continue on with other categories – how much money you have, what kind of house you live in, what you do for a living, how many employees you have, how many vacations you take, how much power you hold, how many and what kind of scars you have, etc.)  This is an example of “cultural manliness”. 

The idea of cultural manliness is that, as you accumulate more wealth, as you sleep with more women, as you buy more stuff and as your power “ranking” goes up, the more manly you are.  Cultural manliness never takes into account your virtue, your faith, your relationship with God and/or others, how you treat your wife/children/family/friends/strangers/etc.  Cultural manliness is a facade, a lie, a demeaning and empty way of living.  The glamour of being a “culturally manly” man will wear off in time.  How many people will a culturally manly man hurt along the way?

Back to the post… the description (in this case, of James Bond) mentions traits that might be good, if explained more and in the correct context.  However, in the context they are in, these traits (strong, fast, clever, refined, etc.) lead only to one trait, “…and still get laid in the process.”  These traits aren’t listed in order to positively affect the world or in order for you to become the best man you can become, they’re listed in order to lead towards women sleeping with you.  There is a great disparity between these two distinctions. 

Let me make myself clear here… there’s nothing wrong with being attractive, refined and clever.  There’s nothing wrong with women being drawn to you.  The problem here is that the motivation to be those things and to possess those traits is skewed and misguided.  Deep down, inside every man, there’s an urge to be “manly” – to be courageous and daring, attractive and intelligent.  Listen to what God is saying through your urge to be manly, so that you know what He wants from you.  Once you feel the urge and know exactly what God wants you to do with it, you’ll be living a purposeful life for God!

I hope this clarification helps.

Man up!