How Does a Single Man Live Love?

I didn’t really speak to this in my previous post… how a single man lives love.  I spoke about how a married man can live love and how he can show his wife love, but nothing specifically for a single man.  Let’s dive in.

[Let’s say that our single guy isn’t in a dating relationship, courtship or engagement.]  He still follows the principles laid out in the Catechism (CCC 1822) about what charity is and he realizes that all he does should be out of love for God and love for neighbor.  I think it’s easiest to understand this idea (of living love) if a single man lives life as a servant, with the intention of bringing glory to God.  Essentially, a single man lives love the same way a married man does, he simply directs his love towards others differently; a married man has a wife and maybe children that he loves above all other humans – if you’re not a husband or a father you’ll understand what I mean if you become one.

Often times, the word love is distorted to mean something (only) having to do with romance and/or intimacy.  Not true.  Obviously, marital love tends towards romance/intimacy, but marital love should stem from the same foundation that God’s love (specifically, Christ’s love for us on the cross) does.  This foundation is life-giving, selfless and sacrificial.  It might be easier to get the distinction if we use the word charity in place of love.  As we think about what a charity does (helps people, lends a tender hand, comforts, protects, continually thinks about the welfare of others, etc.) it might make it easier for us to understand what living charity means.

A verse to think about:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says: “Charity is patient and kind.  It is not jealous, it does not boast.  It is not arrogant or rude.  Charity does not insist on its own way.  It is not irritable or resentful.  It does not rejoice in wrong, but rejoices in right.  Charity bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

If you’re a single man, are you always patient?  In traffic, at work, in line at the grocery store?  Are you arrogant or rude?  Do you think more of yourself than others based off petty worldview mentalities?  Are you irritable?  Easily frustrated, constant mood swings or uncontrollable rage?  Do you rejoice in others failures or struggles?  Think about your life in connection with this verse.

Man up!

How Does a Man Live Love?

Recently, I was having a conversation with some friends about various topics.  As we got into the conversation, somehow we got onto the topic of love.  I said something to the effect of “… a husband needs to love his wife.  He needs to live love.”  One of my friends asked me, “How does a man live love?”  He said, “We hear that all the time, but how does a guy actually do that?  What does he have to do to live love?”  It’s a valid question.  Actually, it’s more than valid, it’s essential.

We’ve talked previously about love being the greatest of all the virtues.  We’ve talked about love being a verb.  Let’s put these together.  If we possess the virtue of love (also referred to as charity), that means that we perform love 1. with ease 2. with joy 3. at every opportunity and 4. promptly.  Once we possess the virtue of love, it’s second nature for us to perform.  Notice that there is an action taking place – love is performed.  Okay, so we’ve said that love is a virtue and that it requires an action.  What is that action?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains it very clearly in paragraph 1822: “Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for His own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God.”  Love isn’t something intangible that happens to come along every once and awhile, love is for God and others.

As a husband, I can live out love by first loving God and then by loving my wife (for love of God).  That means that I strive to do as God has done.  This isn’t a sentence full of meaningless words.  This means that all I do, everything I think and say, is geared towards and focused on God.  The greatest example of how a man can live love is by looking to Christ on the cross.  Self-sacrifice, service, humility, obedience.  Do these things for your wife and you’ll be loving her.

Practical application: how can I sacrifice for my wife as a sign of love?  The greatest gift, of laying your life down for a friend, isn’t necessarily what I’m hoping will happen here, but that’s the ultimate.  Sacrifice can be as simple as letting her choose the restaurant you eat at, or what TV show to watch or which song to listen to on the radio.  Putting your preferences last.

It’s possible, that for each guy, love means something just a little bit different.  In the end, it comes down to loving God and loving others.

Man up!