Ep.15 – How to Fight Lust

Dave discusses an article he recently read, suggesting that a person struggling with pornography should fight their anger – he disagrees. In this episode, he’ll give a better understanding of how to fight lust, or any other vice someone might struggle with. Dave also gives his parenting advice on the topic of teaching your kids expectations.

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Why Fight Porn?

So what’s the big deal with porn, anyway?  Why do we put so much emphasis on how evil and dangerous porn is?  Why fight porn?

Ask any Catholic priest and he’ll tell you that the majority (majority NOT used lightly here) of male confessions heard in the confessional are oriented towards impurity, lust, sexual misbehavior/acting out and pornography abuse.  This is also not to say that many of the female confessions heard in the confessional don’t also cover these topics.  Many priests I have asked about this topic have told me that upward of 85-90% of the confessions they hear from men are linked to pornography abuse.  This is astonishing and could be, if viewed incorrectly, disheartening.  The devil is attempting to kill our souls, our culture and our Church from the inside out through the use of pornography.  Many believe that it is not a public problem, that if “I” use porn in the quiet of my own home, that it doesn’t effect anyone else.  This is FALSE.

Tomorrow, I will dive into the reality of the effects of pornography, as well as the link pornography has to Life issues and social justice issues (such as divorce, rape, incest, abuse of women, domestic violence, etc.) and will attempt to create for you a strong correlation between these links.  The link between pornography (sexual hedonism and sexual utilitarianism) and many other serious issues is strong!

Before we go, I urge all men to educate themselves on the truth!  Don’t take my word for things, don’t take any one single person’s word for anything.  Do your research and go into it unbiased and open to the truth, for the truth shall set you free!  (This comes from a guy who doubted a ton, thought he could make his own truth and eventually got hit upside the proverbial head with the proverbial 2×4.  Take it from me… do your research!)

TrueMan up!

Back to Campus

With most schools starting recently (or soon), I thought it would be good to address some issues about how a TrueMan behaves on campus.  A college campus, as we all know, can be a hostile place for an ardent follower of Christ.  It can be a treacherous minefield of explosive situations, abusive and vulgar language, uncomfortable environments and disagreements with unbelievers.  In order to deal with these difficult issues, here are a couple suggestions.

• Be yourself.  If you love and serve God, don’t be ashamed of it.  Live it out, your witness will come through – people will want what you have.
• Don’t give in to negative peer pressure.  Negative peer pressure is stupid… Real friends don’t force you into bad situations and surely don’t lead you into sin.  We call these people “nasty friends”.  If you’ve got ’em, get rid of ’em.  Don’t ruin your life holding on to people who are ruining theirs.
• If you are struggling, and think that you’ve got it bad or that you’re really suffering for the increase of the Kingdom, read about St Paul in 2 Corinthians 11/12.  That’s some good perspective, huh?!
• There’s a big difference between being a strong Catholic man who stands for something good as compared to a “culturally manly” guy who wants the “glamorous” lifestyle of money, power, women and stuff.  College campus life increases these bad desires exponentially.
• Many women on your college campus won’t understand the chivalry you extend to them.  Do it anyway, with charity and a smile.  Be a radical change on your campus.
• Being a Man of God doesn’t mean you can’t have anything to drink, or that you can’t go to any parties.  It means that you put yourself in good situations, that point you towards heaven and you act in moderation and with prudence.  Remember, Jesus hung out with sinners, but not when they were sinning.
• Strive for excellence in all things.  Start by being sober and chaste.  If you conquer these two areas, you’re well on your way.
• As much as it seems untrue, women don’t want to marry the dirtball, drunkard, C-minus-student types.  They want a gentleman, a man who’s going to provide for them, a man who loves them and shows their love by respecting them and by being self-sacrificing.  They want a man who is going to be a great dad and a hard worker.  There’s nothing wrong with stacking the deck on this topic!  Put all the cards in your favor from the get-go!

All in all, college is a great time for a young man.  Live it up.  Enjoy it.  In all things, be focused on Christ, live virtue and especially, live joy.

Man up!

7 Days of Virtue; Day 4 – Temperance

Think of virtues like your muscles.  You work your muscles out so that they can perform for you when needed.  Virtue is the same way.  You practice, work on the virtue and then, when the time comes, the virtue is there and ready.

Day 4 of the 7 Day Journey through the Virtues: DAY 4 – TEMPERANCE.

Temperance moderates our attraction to pleasure.  This can be any form of pleasure… physical, emotional, sexual, mental, spiritual, etc.  There is an opposing vice that we should stay away from… insensibility (the complete rejection of any pleasure).  Pleasure, in and of itself, is not bad, as long as it is ordered and moderated.  There are three major vices that go along with temperance that we all deal with, in one way or another; it is NOT manly to indulge in these sins!

1. Gluttony – inordinate consumption of food and/or drink.  If they need a fork lift to come get you from the booth to your car, you ate too much.  We are incredibly guilty of this in America with our portion sizes.  A way to fight gluttony is by fasting.
2. Drunkenness – hinders our reason.  Drinking to excess means that we are willingly depriving ourselves of our reason (St. Thomas Aquinas).  A HUGE problem in our culture.  Men, drunkenness is not manly.  Being able to stop after 1 or 2 drinks is manly and it doesn’t just mean you do this when you are driving.  This is at home, at a party, with a DD, where ever.  Losing all ability to think, function, act and control yourself is cowardly.  Be a man, put the drink down.
3. Lust – is destructive and causes harm.  Sex, like fire, is a good thing  – in context.  If a fire gets out of control, it destroys.  If it is used how it is intended, it gives off warmth and can be used to cook.  Sex is the same way… if we make the choice to be chaste, we are ordering our sexuality in the way that God intended.  Don’t be fooled by society, lust is destructive.  Everyone’s NOT doing it – there are those of use who strive for it who are living chaste lives, even in our marriages.  St. Thomas Aquinas said: “A man who gives into his lust has weaknesses.  From this weakness means that he will give into his passions.  He is not free to love.”  Are you weak?  Be virtuous, control your sexuality, don’t let it control you.

Temperance guides us so that we do not fall into these sins.  Being temperate means that we know when enough is enough, too much or sinful.

Man up!