Cultural Manliness Catches Up With You

In this video, Tiger Woods issues a public apology for his actions.  Tiger was living a life of cultural manliness, living for money, power, sex and stuff.  It caught up with him, as it does every man who lives it.  His words ring true… he must show his remorse and his changed way of life not by speaking, but by his actions.  It appears to me, an untrained eye, that he is sincere.  He appears nervous and timid, and obviously, when you read a speech from paper, your demeanor is different than when you speak from the heart.  I don’t know that he’ll back up what he says, but I think that his tenacity and determination to be the best, which has made him so successful in golf and business, will aid him in succeeding in this journey towards being a leader, a role model, a good husband and an engaged, active and loving father.

Note: Tiger speaks about Buddhism towards the end of this clip.  Buddhism doesn’t hold the answers to life, however, Tiger is grasping for truth and something to guide him in life.  If I had the chance to speak with Tiger, I would challenge him to live a life for Christ, a life filled with joy, happiness and fulfillment.  If you can’t view the clip, click HERE.

Wood’s words are merely words, yet, he’s right.  He needs to live a life of integrity.  He let people down, and must make amends.  He led people, especially children, astray.  He knows that he needs help, and seems intent to continue to seek guidance and counseling.

I wish Tiger all the best.  “To whom much is given, much is expected.”

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – I Just Want to Hold You

I noticed today, that for the most part, my children aren’t interested in being held by me.  It’s not that I scare them, or that I’m too rough, or that my beard is scruffy on their faces, or anything like that.  It’s that they have other stuff they want to be doing.  On occasion, when a head is bonked, or a toe is stubbed, or a toy is stolen by their sibling and just about every 2 hours or so when that hunger thing comes around, then they come running, arms wide open, running to their daddy asking for something in their time of need.

Consequently, I realized, because of my wonderful children, that many of us are that way with our Heavenly Father.  All He wants is for us to be connected with Him, to be united with Him, to love Him and to be with Him.  More often than not, we want the opposite.  We have other “stuff” we want to do, and we don’t include Him.  He’s going to be there waiting for us, the same way I’m always there waiting for my girls, but wouldn’t it be better for us to run to Him in the good times too, when we’re not in need of something from Him?  I challenge all of us, myself included, to give God our first-fruits.  To give to Him the perfect time, upfront, not just the leftovers.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – My Primary Vocation & Responsibility

Sometimes it’s hard to clearly determine priorities.  What’s really number one in my life?  Why is it number one?  What else must occur in order for number one to stay number one?  As a husband and father, my primary vocation is to care for my wife and children, and this is where priorities get sticky for me.  In order to care for them, I need to be with them, but at the same time, I also need to provide shelter, clothing, food and safety – the essentials.  In order to provide the essentials, I have to earn money.  In order to earn money, I have to be away from them, either at my office, on the road speaking or at other locations outside the home.  Since I’m also studying for my master’s degree, my time is taxed heavily.  This isn’t even to mention upkeep of the house and vehicles, house chores and other necessary errands that must be completed.  How do I determine rankings of my responsibilities?

I’ve found that taking myself out of the equation is the best way to make the determinations.  What?  Here’s what I mean… I try to remove my desires, my wants, my preferences and instead, place my wife and children (and all of their needs, wants and desires) first.  When I do this, I find that my emotions are kept in check (even though I might want to be making money, hanging with my guy friends or watching a game).  When my emotions are kept in check, I am able to clearly determine what’s important.  Keep in mind, that making money isn’t bad, and hanging with your guy friends isn’t bad.  They are both goods things.  However, if making money, hanging out with your guy friends or any other activity/project/endeavor takes you away from your priorities, they become distractions and hindrances.

So, when determining priorities, I recommend removing yourself and your emotions from the decision making process.  Once you do that, your mind will be clear and you’ll be able to clearly make the right decisions.  Best of luck.

Man up!

Smokin’ in a Blizzard

It’s been pretty cold here the last few days.  The cold and snow typically get people to bundle up and only go out when they have to.  Yesterday, however, I drove past a car with the driver’s side window down.  At first, I thought it was because the driver was smoking, which turned out to be the case, but as I took a closer look, I noticed that a young boy was sitting in his car seat in the backseat of the car.  Now, this blog isn’t about telling people not to smoke – smoking is gross and everyone already knows that.  If someone chooses to smoke, they’ve already given up.  What this blog IS about is challenging males to be better, to be TrueMen.

In the case of this father (the assumption here is that the man driving the car is the child’s father), not only was he smoking around his child, which is statistically proven to [enormously] increase the chances of his son smoking, starting at a young age, but more importantly he was playing freeze-out with his two year old in order to smoke!  Yesterday’s high was around 28 degrees Fahrenheit!  Does it sound to you like the father has his child’s best interest at heart?  Or, as it appears to me, does the father have his nicotine addiction as his number one priority?

It’s pretty simple to see what the virtuous thing to do here is.  Yes, quitting smoking would be a virtuous thing.  However, the virtue of prudence is what this man should be striving for.  Prudence would tell him that he 1. shouldn’t be smoking around his child and 2. that he should wait until he’s not in the car to smoke, thus not having to roll his window down when it’s freezing outside and his child is in the backseat of the car.  C’mon, brother, put your kid’s needs and best interest before your cancer-sticks.

Man up!

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there!  I hope that you took the opportunity to be with your children, and children, I hope you took some time to be with your Dad today.  May God bless all fathers and encourage them to be a great dad today.  Let us pray for all the father-child relationships out there that are in turmoil, struggling or estranged.  Let us pray for children who have lost their father.  Let us pray for the males who haven’t taken responsibility for their children.  Let us pray in thanksgiving for all the great dads of the world.  Let us pray that everyone would learn to see God the Father as a loving Daddy.

The image (left) depicts St Joseph; he is our best saintly guide to what True Fatherhood and TrueManhood is all about.  After all, the child Jesus learned everything he knew from his earthly father.  Joseph was incredibly virtuous, especially possessing the virtues of faith and love.  In this picture, we can see the tender and loving touch that he has for his child.  He is carrying lilies in this case, instead of his normal carpenter’s (worker’s) tools.  He carries lilies to signify his purity; we refer to St Joseph as “The Most Chaste Spouse” of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  Take some time to learn more about St Joseph so that you can learn more about what manliness is all about.

I’ve had an absolutely great day (weekend, actually!).  On Saturday, we went to Mass, my wife cooked my favorite Italian food, gave me some gifts (Steelers’ tickets!!!) and planned a bike trip to one of our favorite parks in the city.  Today was absolutely beautiful with warm sunny blue skies.  Everyone should be as lucky as me.

 

 

Here’s a little cartoon I found.  I hope your dad is like this kid’s dad and I hope your kids see their dad like this kid sees his dad.

Man up!

Just Because He Can

I took my wife out for dessert on Mother’s Day.  While talking with her, I noticed (through a window) a male shuffling around his Hummer H2.  He entered the vehicle and proceeded to pull forward.  Sounds pretty normal, right?  Well, in front of his vehicle was not open pavemen, but a grassy curbed area of the parking lot, for which he had complete disregard.  I noticed him doing this, quickly told Catherine to turn around and look and was genuinely frustrated at what I just witnessed.  She said, “There’s tomorrow’s post.”

I wanted to write about how this wanna-be alpha male acted this way just because he can.  He knows that he most likely won’t be confronted.  He knows that his truck is going to have no problem driving over a wimpy 8 inch sloped curb.  In my head, I’m thinking to myself that this guy, if confronted about his actions, would say something like “But I drive a H2, and I can drive over anything I want to.”  He probably thinks that “because he can”, he should.

First off, he’s selfish.  He doesn’t think about anyone but himself.  Secondly, he has total disregard and zero respect for others and their property.  He didn’t care that the curb may have cracked, or that the grass might have been destroyed or any other possibility (regardless of how far-reaching they might be).  He was selfish, thinking only about himself and his H2.  Thirdly, he wasn’t interested in the example he was setting.  He very well might have had children in the vehicle with him and because of his selfishness, the children now believe that it’s acceptable to act this way.  Fourthly, he probably never contemplates the consequences of his actions, but believes that if he wants to do something, he should.  What’s the problem with a guy like this, besides his lack of respect for others?  He wants people to spoon feed him things, to come behind him and clean up after him and he expects that he’ll never be responsible for anything, because he’s a “dude”. 

I understand the desire to drive over stuff in a 4×4, I do it regularly… but not private property.  I thoroughly enjoy off-roading in my Avalanche… but I do it respectfully.  That’s not the point.  My point is that being selfish is not manly.  My point is that total disregard for others and their property is not manly.  My point is that being a societal leach is detrimental to others.  Be a TrueMan, respect others, be accountable to yourself for what you do, and know that others are watching you.

Man up!

All Eyes On Me

All eyes on me… and you… 

I know Dennis Rodman said “I never asked to be a role model”, but he’s in the spot light.  And you – although probably not in the spot light – probably never asked to be a role model either.  Guess what?  You are a role model.  You’re a role model whether you want to be or not.  Whether you are at home (with siblings, parents, spouse, children or friends) or at work, or at Church or in public… all eyes are on you.  Maybe you didn’t ask, but it’s the fact of the matter.

So why does this matter?  So what if everyone is watching me?  It matters because all of those eyes are connected to brains that are forming impressions about you.  And you don’t only represent yourself, you represent all men, everywhere.  If you are a father, you represent fatherhood.  If you are a Catholic, you represent Catholicism.  If you’re doing a great job of setting a great example, then great!  Keep up the good work!  If, however, you are setting a poor example, then you are making my job much more difficult.  If women look at you and think that the behavior you live out is what a man is, shame on you.  If children look at you and think that the behavior you live out is what a man is, how dare you.  If non-believers look at you and think that the behavior you live out is what a Christian (man) is, may God have mercy on you.

You might not ask for it, but all eyes are on you.  You can make this seemingly gigantic task have an incredible outcome if you live as a TrueMan should.  How does a man live as a TrueMan?  First and foremost, he is virtuous.  This includes being faithful to God and being loving.  After these two vital virtues, he respects others, honors his wife and children and is hard working.  I could continue on for pages.  Summed up, a  TrueMan is a virtuous man.

Man up!

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