Cultural Manliness – a Review

Back in 2011, I wrote this post to review “cultural manliness”.  I’m posting again because it’s important that people hear this term, understand this concept, and work to fight it.  I was recently at a large Catholic conference, and no matter who I talked to, they all agreed that cultural manliness is in fact rampant, and is in fact, a highly worth-while cause to fight.  I appreciate the support and ask that everyone work with me to explain this concept so that our men, young men, and our boys learn what it means to be authentically masculine, a TrueMan.

Cultural manliness, for those unfamiliar with the term (which I coined several years ago) is the idea that “the more power, money, sex and stuff a male has, the more manly he is.”  This idea is propagated in our culture virtually non-stop, whether on the television, on the internet, in movies, throughout magazines and newspapers, on billboards, in songs, in advertising and just about anywhere those areas don’t cover.  The idea is propagated for a few reasons: 1. men buy into this lie.  2. women buy into this lie.  3. children buy into this lie.  4. people make money off of this lie.  5. the devil wins souls through this lie.

Cultural manliness – being in pursuit of the things of this world – will kill a man.  Power, money, sex and stuff doesn’t win our salvation, but it certainly can keep us from it.  Cultural manliness easily gets in the way of a relationship with Christ.  Why does this matter?  Because Christ is the true example of manliness!  He is THE TrueMan.  He is the reason this site exists.  He is the reason why the site is called what it is called.  “Blessed be Jesus Christ, True God and TrueMan.”  Anything other than pursuing Christ is futile and unmanly.

The world wants to tell a man that he will be ‘happy’ if he has more power, more sex, more money and more stuff.  These things, in and of themselves are not bad, but they don’t bring happiness.  They may bring emotional counterfeits that men believe to be happiness, but they aren’t happiness.

What then makes a man, if it’s not power, money, sex and stuff?  Virtue!  Prudence, Justice, Fortitude and Temperance – Faith, Hope and Love.  Learn them, live them, be a TrueMan!  (Read the “TrueManhood Guide to Virtue” here.)

If you’d like to read more on the topic, do a search (in the white box on the upper right portion of each page of this site) for “cultural manliness”.  You’ll have plenty of reading material.  Or, go to the blog page and click the “cultural manliness” tab.  I’d like to know your thoughts on this topic – leave a comment.

TrueMan up!

“My Banner is Clear”

At the last two TKM Into the Wild retreats in October, we came across this very powerful and invigorating writing in the Magnificat from Patrick Madrid, a Catholic author and apologist.  The timing of this publication was impeccable.  It was amazing to hear the men read these words after having gone through so much growth on the weekend.  Many men embraced these words and are now Part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE UNASHAMED

THE DIE HAS BEEN CAST. THE DECISION HAS BEEN MADE.  I HAVE STEPPED OVER THE LINE. I WON’T LOOK BACK, LET UP, SLOW DOWN, BACK AWAY, OR BE STILL.

MY PAST IS REDEEMED, MY PRESENT MAKES SENSE, AND MY FUTURE IS IN GOD’S HANDS. I AM FINISHED AND DONE WITH LOW LIVING, SIGHT WALKING, SMALL PLANNING, THE BARE MINIMUM, SMOOTH KNEES, COLORLESS DREAMS, TAMED VISIONS, MUNDANE TALKING, FRIVOLOUS LIVING, SELFISH GIVING, AND DWARFED GOALS.

I NO LONGER NEED PREEMINENCE, PROPERITY, POSITION, PROMOTIONS, APPLAUSE, OR POPULARITY. I DON’T HAVE TO BE RIGHT, FIRST, THE BEST, RECOGNIZED, PRAISED, REGARDED OR REWARDED. I NOW LIVE BY FAITH. I LEAN ON CHRIST’S PRESENCE. I LOVE WITH PATIENCE, LIVE BY PRAYER, AND LABOR WITH THE POWER OF GOD’S GRACE.

MY FACE IS SET. MY GAIT IS FAST, MY GOAL IS HEAVEN. MY ROAD IS NARROW, MY WAY IS ROUGH, MY COMPANIONS ARE FEW, MY GUIDE IS RELIABLE, AND MY MISSION IS CLEAR.

I CANNOT BE BOUGHT, COMPROMISED, DETOURED, LURED AWAY, TURNED BACK, DELUDED, OR DELAYED.  I WILL NOT FLINCH IN THE FACE OF SACRIFICE, HESITATE IN THE PRESENCE OF ADVERSITY, NEGOTIATE AT THE TABLE OF THE ENEMY, PONDER AT THE POOL OF POPULARITY, OR MEANDER IN THE MAZE OF MEDIOCRITY.

I WON’T GIVE UP, SHUT UP, LET UP, OR SLOW UP UNTIL I HAVE STAYED UP, STORED UP, PRAYED UP, PAID UP, AND SPOKEN UP FOR THE CAUSE OF CHRIST.

I AM A DISCIPLE OF JESUS. I MUST GO TILL HE COMES, GIVE UNTIL I DROP, SPEAK OUT UNTIL ALL KNOW, AND WORK UNTIL HE STOPS ME.  AND WHEN HE RETURNS FOR HIS OWN, HE WILL HAVE NO DIFFICULTY RECOGNIZING ME. MY BANNER IS CLEAR; I AM A PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE UNASHAMED.

BY PATRICK MADRID

Vince DeStefano – Movement of My Heart in Words

My friend and fellow TKM brother, Vince DeStefano, sent me this small excerpt of something he wrote while he was praying this morning.  Vince is real – he’s a TrueMan in every sense of the word, and he’s sincere.  He’s a great man, a great husband, a great father and a great friend.  He’s incredibly generous and humble.

Regardless of what your sin is, read through this and put yourself in the place of “I”.

“Lost in a deep thicket, hidden in an unknown forest, I cry out in desperation.  Christ approaches me directly,cutting through material with pure light and creating a straight path in his wake.  He reaches me, and I feel intense shame and unworthiness.  I plead to him, and though He remains wordless in reply I understand that my sins encumber me, realizing now that my feet are tangled in the brush.  Christ turns and walks back from whence He came, taking with Himself the brilliance yet leaving an illuminated path, still straight, and seeming to implore me to determine the nature of the weeds which entangle my feet in order to destroy them and then fully pursue my purpose. While of course wishing to remain in His intense light of reprieve from temporal encumbrance, I’m left with renewed Faith, Hope, and compelling Love, filled with eagerness and determination to tear myself from Satan’s thorns and run after my Savior.”

TrueMan up!

Prayer Question

I received an email from a blog reader today and I thought I’d share the question and my response here.  Thought it might be helpful for more than just this one guy.  The question was: “My prayer life is really screwed-up.  I was taught that a prayer life is a dialogue with God, through Jesus, about how to grow closer, gain insight and follow Christ.  My prayers are rantings, raving, and venting about stupid and ridiculous things. Where did I go wrong?”

My response was pretty basic and doesn’t cover everything, but here’s what I suggested: “Thanks for the email.  The fact that you are concerned about this shows that you care.  There is a way to dialogue with God, but there’s not only one way.  You have to find your own way to pray.  I recommend finding some solid books on prayer, talking to a priest, listening to CDs/mp3s on the topic, etc.

Start with this, to get back into the swing of properly ordered prayer… A.C.T.S. is an acronym to structure your prayer.  It may help.

• Adoration – Adoring God.
• Contrition – Showing remorse for your sins against God.
• Thanksgiving – Giving thanks for anything and everything.
• Supplication – Asking God for things/requests that you need/want.

You can also spend time, not only in contemplative prayer, but in meditation, journaling, sitting in silence, repetitive prayer, spending time in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, etc.

All the best.  Keep trying!”

TrueMan up!

A Review: Cultural Manliness

I haven’t written about cultural manliness in a while, so I thought I’d review it.  Cultural manliness, for those unfamiliar with the term (which I coined a few years ago) is the idea that “the more power, money, sex and stuff a male has, the more manly he is.”  This idea is propagated in our culture virtually non-stop, whether on the television, on the internet, in movies, throughout magazines and newspapers, on billboards, in songs, in advertising and just about anywhere those areas don’t cover.  The idea is propagated for a few reasons: 1. men buy into this lie.  2. women buy into this lie.  3. children buy into this lie.  4. people make money off of this lie.  5. the devil wins souls through this lie.

Cultural manliness – being in pursuit of the things of this world – will kill a man.  Power, money, sex and stuff doesn’t win our salvation, but it certainly can keep us from it.  Cultural manliness easily gets in the way of a relationship with Christ.  Why does this matter?  Because Christ is the true example of manliness!  He is THE TrueMan.  He is the reason this site exists.  He is the reason why the site is called what it is called.  “Blessed be Jesus Christ, True God and TrueMan.”  Anything other than pursuing Christ is futile and unmanly.

The world wants to tell a man that he will be ‘happy’ if he has more power, more sex, more money and more stuff.  This things, in and of themselves are not bad, but they don’t bring happiness.  They may bring emotional counterfeits that men believe to be happiness, but they aren’t happiness.

What then makes a man, if it’s not power, money, sex and stuff?  Virtue!  Prudence, Justice, Fortitude and Temperance – Faith, Hope and Love.  Learn them, live them, be a TrueMan!  (Read the “TrueManhood Guide to Virtue” here.)

If you’d like to read more on the topic, do a search (in the white box on the upper right portion of each page of this site) for “cultural manliness”.  You’ll have plenty of reading material.  Or, go to the blog page and click the “cultural manliness” tab.  I’d like to know your thoughts on this topic – leave a comment.

TrueMan up!

St. Joseph – The Days After Christmas

If you’ve spent any time on the website, you surely know that I am a huge fan of St. Joseph.  He is, besides Christ Himself, the best model of authentic masculinity for a man to emulate.  Wanna be a TrueMan?… be like St. Joseph.  After all, he raised Jesus!  Quite obviously, St. Joseph knew what he was doing.  Have you ever thought about his role in the days following Christ’s birth?

Picture this… Mary gives birth to Jesus.  Joseph then sees shepherds, visitors and Magi from the east come to adorn his foster son.  Then, angels appear and sing praises about this baby boy.  What would be going through your mind, if in the hospital labor and delivery room, people come and sing songs praising your child?  We can’t really fathom what was taking place before Joseph’s eyes, nor what was going on in his head.  Then, imagine that an angel comes to him, again, and tells him that someone (King Herod) wants to kill his newborn son.  If you’re anything like me, your first inclination in this situation would have been to grab the firearms and ammo and go on the offensive.  Not Joseph.  He heeded the warning from the angel, then he WALKED HIS FAMILY TO EGYPT!  That would have been approx 300 miles, or more!  They walked!  A woman who had just given birth, a new born and this holy, faithful, virtuous man called Joseph.  He did this to protect his family and the salvation of all of us.

Now imagine being in Egypt.  Joseph has no idea how long they’d be there.  He left his carpenter shop, tools, projects, friends and home behind, back in Judea.  What did he do for work in Egypt?  How did they worship?  Where did they live?  How did he continually protect his family in this foreign land?  What and where did they eat?  Did you ever think of these things?  Have you ever thought about how St. Joseph did all this?  Have you ever thought how you would react in a situation like this?  What you would do if your family was in danger?  In need of shelter, food, protection?

St. Joseph did all of this, and quite handily.  There are good reasons why St. Joseph is the patron saint of so many manly things, like workers, carpenters, fathers and holy death.  His virtue was incredible.  Learn about him, follow him to his son.

TrueMan up!

Support TM – Shirts on Sale

Small ministries, like TrueManhood.com, rely on the faithful donations of men and women who believe in the mission of the ministry.  For that reason, I ask you to consider purchasing a TrueManhood.com t-shirt.  They are on sale at Aquinas and More at 30% off.  The sale of these shirts goes to help fund the various costs associated with running and maintaining a small ministry.  Currently, only one design is available – more may be available in the future.  The shirt contains the third stanza of The Divine Praises, a prayer that is prayed at the end of benediction.  The shirt reads: “Blessed Be Jesus Christ, True God and TrueMan.”

If you are local to Colorado Springs, you are welcome to head in to Aquinas and More Catholic Goods in person to save on shipping costs.

I trust that you may have similar experiences as I have had while wearing my shirt.  It takes guts to boldly witness to Christ’s truth, to His divinity and to His humanity.  Wear it with pride and be assured in your witness – “Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” – Matthew 5:10.

The story of how this stanza became the slogan for TrueManhood.com may sound simple – The Divine Praises came first, so obviously TrueManhood came from the prayer, right?  Nope.  When I decided to start the blog, I had a list of about 25 different names that I was thinking about using.  I finally decided on truemanhood and quickly checked to see if the web address was available for purchase.  It was, so I got it.  It wasn’t until approximately 9 months after having founded TrueManhood.com that I was kneeling in Adoration and it hit me.  Our priest was praying the prayers of benediction and as we do each Wednesday, the congregation repeated the prayers of The Divine Praises.  “Blessed Be God… Blessed Be His Holy Name… Blessed Be Jesus Christ, True God and True Man.”  It hit me!  What a perfect saying for TrueManhood.com!  I had heard this prayer hundreds of times – why hadn’t I noticed it before?!  I think it was God’s providence, allowing me to be affirmed in the apostolic work we were trying to accomplish as well as encouraged by understanding fully that God was watching over us.  He gives us what we can handle, when we can handle it.  This was a great day in the life of the ministry.

“Blessed Be Jesus Christ, True God and TrueMan!”

TrueMan up!

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