Smokin’ in a Blizzard

It’s been pretty cold here the last few days.  The cold and snow typically get people to bundle up and only go out when they have to.  Yesterday, however, I drove past a car with the driver’s side window down.  At first, I thought it was because the driver was smoking, which turned out to be the case, but as I took a closer look, I noticed that a young boy was sitting in his car seat in the backseat of the car.  Now, this blog isn’t about telling people not to smoke – smoking is gross and everyone already knows that.  If someone chooses to smoke, they’ve already given up.  What this blog IS about is challenging males to be better, to be TrueMen.

In the case of this father (the assumption here is that the man driving the car is the child’s father), not only was he smoking around his child, which is statistically proven to [enormously] increase the chances of his son smoking, starting at a young age, but more importantly he was playing freeze-out with his two year old in order to smoke!  Yesterday’s high was around 28 degrees Fahrenheit!  Does it sound to you like the father has his child’s best interest at heart?  Or, as it appears to me, does the father have his nicotine addiction as his number one priority?

It’s pretty simple to see what the virtuous thing to do here is.  Yes, quitting smoking would be a virtuous thing.  However, the virtue of prudence is what this man should be striving for.  Prudence would tell him that he 1. shouldn’t be smoking around his child and 2. that he should wait until he’s not in the car to smoke, thus not having to roll his window down when it’s freezing outside and his child is in the backseat of the car.  C’mon, brother, put your kid’s needs and best interest before your cancer-sticks.

Man up!

Your Dad is Playing Arcade Games

The other day we took our kids to a local indoor entertainment center.  This place has tons of cool stuff for kids… arcade games, go-carts, putt-putt golf, dress up rooms for little kids, a pirate ship with working air-canons, a bowling alley and so on.  When we were in the “largest sandbox in Colorado”, which looks like a cave with stalactites, stalagmites and their version of dinosaur bones, we ran into another family.  The family was made up of a 1-year-old girl, a 4-year-old boy, the mom and the dad.  When I first walked in with my youngest daughter, the dad was sitting on a bench, nose buried in his iPhone.  The mom was actively playing with the kids in the sand.

I cordially said hello to the mom and helped my daughter get situated in the sand.  About a minute after I was in the room, the dad walked up to the mom, whispered something in her ear and walked out.  As he rounded the corner, the wife asked him, “Why do you have to go?”  No response.

Immediately, the young boy tried running after his dad.  He wanted to be with him.  The mom told the boy “Dad will be back in a minute, wait here.”  The boy proceeded to ask his mom to go with his dad six more times over the course of the next ten minutes.  Eventually, the mom called the dad on his cell phone to see where he was, although he didn’t appear to answer.  This time, the boy asked “Mom, where’s Dad?”  She said, “You Dad is playing arcade games.”

I couldn’t believe my ears.  I was astonished!  This dad was NOT manning up!  He left his wife and kids to go play arcade games!?!  The whole point of this type of place (other than for the owners to make lots and lots of money)  is for families to be together.  All his son wanted to do was be with his dad, all the dad wanted to do was be by himself.  It was apparent, that even during the few short seconds that I observed their interaction, the mom and dad were having problems.  It was apparent, that even during the few second that I observed their interaction, the dad wasn’t concerned with being with his family.  I feel sorry for this entire family. 

These kids are going to grow up thinking that their father acts the way a man should.  It’s a sad thing really.

Man up!

A Father Breaking the Cycle

Often times, what I blog about are bad experiences that I have of males who aren’t holding up their end of the deal in society.  Typically, they’re making bad decisions, exemplifying “cultural manliness” and slacking on being a TrueMan.  Today, I’m going to change things up and speak about a man that is Breaking the Cycle.

This TrueMan is a national hero, a firefighter who has unselfishly put himself in harm’s way to protect others for well over 20 yrs.  He is a Captain at a well-known Marine base near Washington D.C.  He influences the young men in the firehouse, not only in the ways of firefighting, but also in life.  The biggest impact he has though (not at all to discount his years of service nor his honors & accolades) is the impact he has on his family. 

The father of three, this TrueMan knows well that a father’s impact is long lasting and the most important relationship in the lives of his children. 

This man had a childhood with a father that was a workaholic.  To quote him, “My Dad didn’t have 5 minutes for me, a year.”  Not only did the father neglect his only son, he was abusive and left physical scars to prove it.  In speaking with him the other day, he said something that really struck me.  He said “I won’t be like my father was. Not a a chance.”  It struck me not only because he’s breaking the cycle of what his father showed him, but because he means it.  He’s convicted, in the deepest part of his heart, to give his children the attention, devotion and love that he never received.  It’s not out of spite or out of pity, it’s out of love.  The love he has for them resonates deeply with me because his children are my godchildren, and needless to say, are very important to me. 

I could continue on for many more paragraphs, but I think my point is easy to understand and doesn’t require repeating.  By the way, he’s a great husband too.

Thank you, Captain TLW.  You’re a great man. 

Man up!

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there!  I hope that you took the opportunity to be with your children, and children, I hope you took some time to be with your Dad today.  May God bless all fathers and encourage them to be a great dad today.  Let us pray for all the father-child relationships out there that are in turmoil, struggling or estranged.  Let us pray for children who have lost their father.  Let us pray for the males who haven’t taken responsibility for their children.  Let us pray in thanksgiving for all the great dads of the world.  Let us pray that everyone would learn to see God the Father as a loving Daddy.

The image (left) depicts St Joseph; he is our best saintly guide to what True Fatherhood and TrueManhood is all about.  After all, the child Jesus learned everything he knew from his earthly father.  Joseph was incredibly virtuous, especially possessing the virtues of faith and love.  In this picture, we can see the tender and loving touch that he has for his child.  He is carrying lilies in this case, instead of his normal carpenter’s (worker’s) tools.  He carries lilies to signify his purity; we refer to St Joseph as “The Most Chaste Spouse” of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  Take some time to learn more about St Joseph so that you can learn more about what manliness is all about.

I’ve had an absolutely great day (weekend, actually!).  On Saturday, we went to Mass, my wife cooked my favorite Italian food, gave me some gifts (Steelers’ tickets!!!) and planned a bike trip to one of our favorite parks in the city.  Today was absolutely beautiful with warm sunny blue skies.  Everyone should be as lucky as me.

 

 

Here’s a little cartoon I found.  I hope your dad is like this kid’s dad and I hope your kids see their dad like this kid sees his dad.

Man up!

I'm Watching You Dad

I thought that this video went well as a “part 2” to my last post. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MMEwl9dCt8]

Man up!

« Previous Page