Busy, Frustrated, Anxious, Confused
Lately, life has been on a lightspeed pace. I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I’m frustrated with various
things, anxious about what’s happening in life and confused as to what God’s doing in my life. But I’m a man… I shouldn’t be admitting this. Right? I should be strong and well-put-together. I should have everything taken care of with time to spare. Right? I should be self-sufficient. I should be completely ahead of the curve. Should, should, should.
Well, we all know that sometimes we aren’t ahead of the curve. Sometimes, life gets busy and we get behind. How do you keep it all straight? How do you keep your head above water? Are you a yes-aholic? Do you have trouble ordering your priorities? (I’ve written about priorities before, just do a search for “PRIORITY” and you’ll find some good stuff.) Do you struggle with loads of work yet waste away time on meaningless activities and hobbies?
I recommend a few things. First and foremost, I recommend that you examine your prayer life. If you’re praying, your foundation is strong and you take the necessary time to sit in 
quiet with God. If you’re not praying, try starting with 15 minutes a day. Along with daily prayer, frequent reception of the Sacraments is vital. Next, I recommend that you organize your life however works best for you. Maybe it’s a planner, a calendar, a list, post-it notes, etc. Don’t just let life happen to you, dictate what your day looks like. Next, I recommend that you (if you’re in the same boat as me) start saying ‘no’ to some things. Today, I cancelled three future meetings (to be rescheduled) and moved two other events around so I could breathe. Do whatever it takes to order your life properly. An ordered life is the goal, because then everything is in it’s proper place. “Living balance means that you’re doing what you want to do. Living order means that you’re doing what you ought to do.”
As men, sometimes we are told that we can’t or shouldn’t rely on others for help. This is not logical, it’s not practical and it’s not Scriptural. Lean on those around you to help you out. Reach out to friends, family, colleagues that will assist you in reaching your goals. Showing vulnerability or the need for help doesn’t mean you’re less manly, it just means that you need some help. In this entire process, I recommend taking life in stride and to remain positive. If you are negative, and if you complain, you will only add stress and strain on your already busy lifestyle.
Best of luck in reaching your goals! Your prayers for me are appreciated as I navigate the everchanging and rapid waters of my life.
TrueMan up!
What Makes Porn So Bad?!
So last post (Porn Gone Mobile) I said that I would talk about why porn is so bad. The totality of the answer can’t fit into this post, so here’s what I’ve got for you today. A great number of people, even those who do not currently look at, use, buy or sell porn, believe that there is nothing wrong with porn. This is a sign of a culture that has completely lost its moral compass. Not only has the moral compass been lost, it has since been replaced with a compass (better stated as a philosophy) that is so far from the truth that it actually denies that absolute truth exists! This philosophy… moral relativism. Relativism states that all things are relative. If you really believe that the composition of the stuff that makes up the ocean is not H2O, but actually H3O7, then in relativism, H3O7 is “truth for you”.
Sure, that’s a silly example, but it can be extended onto any philosophical issue… any issue related to morals, ethics, virtue, choices, life, death… you name it. You may believe that abortion isn’t murder of a human life, but that doesn’t make your belief true. The problem with moral relativism is, well, everything. It denies the absolute truth and leaves everything for the individual to determine. Not a good place to start. If relativism is true, then what Christ did on the cross doesn’t matter. If relativism is true, then God isn’t the ‘unmoved Mover’. If relativism is true, then there’s no definition to what manliness is. So…
That brings us back to porn and why it IS so bad. It’s not that porn is only bad for me and for some other select group of people. It’s not that I’m ‘trying to force my morality on someone’. It’s not that only certain kinds of porn are bad. It’s all intrinsically evil. Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2354, states: “It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act… It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants… It is a grave offense.” The production of, distribution of and/or the use of pornography damages the individual, causing them to enter into mortal sin, a total turning away from God. It is a lie. It is repulsive.
On another note, porn is intrinsically evil because it destroys our brain’s ability to function properly. When porn is viewed/used, a chemical bond is created. The chemical involved is a hormone, called oxytocin. Oxytocin exists in both males and females. One of the most commonly known occurrences of oxytocin is in child birth. It is one of the bonding agents between a mother and a newborn child – a very powerful bond. Oxytocin is also released in sexual orgasm, thus creating a bond. When the bond is based on a fantasy, ie porn, the bond is incredibly detrimental. This false bond distorts the understanding of the sexual act. Once the distorted bond is in place, often times, the bond continues to deteriorate. Many men choose to allow this bond into their life and then wonder why real intimacy and actual giving of oneself in marriage is so difficult.
If you haven’t been exposed to porn, I urge you to do everything in your power to stay away from it. Porn is just like meth… it only
takes one time. If you have been exposed to porn, it will continue to bond you to the fantasy, to the sexual act, to the addiction. If you’re a single man using porn, the distorted bond will damage your relationships, it will be a stumbling block to finding the right spouse, it will become your motivation. If/When you get married, it will cause you to be selfish in regards to intimacy with your wife, not to mention in day-to-day activities and interactions. If you’re a married man using porn, I’m almost 100% certain that the intimacy with your wife is distorted by your addiction. Not only does it distort your relationship with your wife, it distorts the relationship you have with your children, friends and co-workers.
The good news, as stated before many times, is that freedom from porn exists! I’m walking proof. I had these distortions in my life. It takes a ton of hard work to get over them, as well as daily prayer, the Sacraments and God’s grace. You can do it! Get rid of the porn today!
TrueMan up!
7 Days of Super Bowl Stuff -SBXLIV- Day 3 “Tenacity”
Tenacity… quite possibly one of the most important characteristics of a football player. Being tenacious means that you hold fast to something, that you’re stubborn and obstinate. Typically, in football, tenacity refers to winning. It refers to the heart of a player, a heart that never gives up, never gives in. A tenacious player will do anything and everything to win. He’ll play beyond his body’s abilities, when he’s worn down, tired, beaten up. Tenacity is a quality that a football player must possess because everyone else on the field, especially on the other team, is playing with a tenacity that won’t quit.
How tenacious are you in your faith journey? Do you hold fast to something? Do you hold fast to the Gospel Truth? Are you stubborn about your prayer life? Do you live the truths of the faith out obstinately? The other team, Satan’s team, is tenacious in their beliefs. His team is stubborn and obstinate. If you come into your “faith game” weak, they’ll tear you apart. Your tenacity must outweigh theirs. Your tenacity must be so overpowering that they can’t even stand to be in the same room as you. The demons in our lives hate it, they literally hate, when we’re striving for holiness in Jesus Christ. Being tenacious about the journey toward holiness will send them into a rage and they’ll fight even harder against you. Your tenacity must continue to increase. Increase it by praying daily, receiving the Sacraments and keeping your eyes on the prize!
This Sunday, the Colts and the Saints are going to be playing with incredible tenacity. In the end, I believe the winner will be the team that holds fast to their game plan, to their strategy, to their beliefs.
This video seemed to capture some of the tenacity with which the New Orleans Saints played this season. It sort of took me back to college, getting pumped for a game, making the big hit, tasting victory. (I figured since I gave some Colt love on Day 1, I should send it back to the Saints today, Day 3.) Enjoy. (2:13)
