3 Most Damaging Words? – Nope

Have you seen the PSA style video “The Mask You Live In”?  It talks about boys in our culture, and stereotypes of how boys handle the stresses of growing up male, in addition to the struggles of living up to the standards the culture and peers place on them.  There are truths in the video, but I disagree with their take on “the 3 most destructive words you could say to a boy.”  Here’s the video:

The suggestion is made that telling a boy to “Be a Man” is detrimental to him.  If we’re speaking from the context of cultural manliness, then sure, I could see that.  If, however, we’re speaking from the context of authentic masculinity (ie: TrueManhood), then this is absolutely what we should be telling our boys!  We should be encouraging them, teaching them, forming them, and exemplifying for them what it means to be a man so they are able to set a goal and become what they were created to be.  A TrueMan!

We must, unequivocally, call, lead, and guide our boys into true manhood.  We must expect it, and set our boys up to meet the expectation.  If we do not, they will land somewhere on either extreme.  On the one hand, we have a “hyper-masculinity” (other negative words have been associated with this, such as “macho man or machismo”, “bravado”, “meathead”, “jock”, etc.) and on the other, we have an effeminate version of masculinity (which doesn’t even make sense), which is incredibly disordered.  In fact, both versions are a false, counterfeit version, and are incredibly disordered.

Some of the buzz words used, and my thoughts:

• “Don’t cry.”  Men, you can cry.  God wouldn’t have given us emotion and tear ducts if He didn’t want us doing it.  And oh yeah, Jesus wept.
• “Pick yourself up.”  Yes, we’re going to fall.  Pick yourself up and get back on track.
• “Respect.”  Respect is earned.  Give it, and you will likely gain it in return.
• “Proving masculinity.”  Yes, this has to happen.  This is how we grow in virtue, by proving our masculinity.  This is very different from the view the video takes, which is speaking about becoming violent or using violence to be the proof.
• “Closeness.”  This is very hard for males in our society!  It is vital, essential, critical that fathers have a closeness with their sons!  Hugs, kisses, embracing, physical closeness, as well as emotional closeness and a spiritual closeness are all so important between fathers and sons.  (Thanks Dad, for always being close when I was a kid, and now.)
• “Vulnerability.”  Our culture tells men that being vulnerable is feminine.  Vulnerability actually requires strength.
• “Hyper-masculine.”  When masculinity is distorted, it will appear to be either side of the extremes, but never what it should be.

What I don’t like about the video is that it generalizes all of the negative aspects of masculinity overall, as if there is or needs to be some redefined version of masculinity out there.  No, there are two versions of masculinity: 1. The truth. 2. The lie.  That’s why TrueManhood.com exists, to perpetuate the truth, and to help get rid of the lie.  The truth is that a man (a human being with an XY chromosomal makeup) has the God-given ability, and the responsibility, to live up to what he was created for – to live virtuously.  The lie is cultural manliness; the more power, money, sex, and stuff a male has, the more manly he is.  Let’s work together, not at the loss of the truth, but together so that the truth can be proclaimed!

TrueMan up!

Share Your Greatness

I recently saw a ridiculous commercial from PlayStation 4.  Watch:

I had no idea how big these Sony marketing efforts were (probably because I don’t watch much television or play video games) and didn’t realize until after I shot the short video (below) that this isn’t a new marketing scheme at all, but rather, it’s been out for a while and it is mainstream.  You’ll see that the video above has been viewed 12+ million times.  This doesn’t count the other commercials, the print ads, or the times it’s been seen on TV and other mediums.  It goes without saying, this version of greatness has been consumed.

It’s not in this video, but there are other PS4 commercials under the same “Greatness Awaits” slogan that talk about “epic” moves and actions, “first to greatness”, and “sharing your greatness.”  The idea is that when a gamer makes a successful play, a creative kill, or a “first of a kind” move in a video game, PS4 will save the video of that move and then post it for others to see on social media.  Is this all that we have?  Is this the best we can do?  This is false reality perpetuating false reality!  The false reality that is video games, to me, is astonishing in and of itself… and now this sort of marketing is applied.  All that we expect out of ourselves is a good move or play in a video game?  Lame.

I make some bold claims in the video. Some of the themes aren’t as developed as I’d maybe like, but I’ve never posted about this specifically, and want to at least get the ball rolling on this topic. We have a major epidemic of males (boys) running around when we need men. (FYI: The opposite of masculinity isn’t femininity, it is childishness.) We have a ‘culture of the young male’ that wastes incredible amounts of time sitting at a screen, pressing some buttons.  Since the advent of the Atari, it’s become worse and worse.  Many of our young males aren’t going on adventures. These young males aren’t pursuing noble causes. They don’t even go outside! Many of these same young males lack courage and the ability to ask a woman out on a date. They are missing out on life.  (Trust me, I’ve experienced this firsthand, on college campuses around the country, in high schools, and in society the past 15+ years.)

Men – if you find yourself as one of these males that play video games, I want to encourage you to get rid of them. Call it quits. Find a suitable alternative. (I name a few categorically in the video.) Strive for true greatness.

Women – if you are with a male who throws time down the garbage by playing video games, ask yourself if he’s what you deserve. Help him by expecting more from him.

Parents – if your children have video games, I’m not saying that they are intrinsically evil, but want to encourage everyone to take a step back and consider how much time is being spent in this false reality, and how much effort and money is going into a mindless and fleeting activity? Is this all that we can, should, or will expect of our children? This goes far beyond video games, and includes all of our use on screens of any kind. They are one of the devil’s gateways into our lives. I’m suggesting that you consider heavily the consequences of video games in your children’s lives.

As with all things in life, TrueManhood.com wants to relate what we do and what we should be doing to virtue.  The answer here is to strive for magnanimity.  St. Thomas Aquinas in the Summa described magninimity as “stretching forth the mind to great things.”  It is also, “Greatness of soul. It looks especially to honor and seeks to perform noble deeds. Its object is to perform actions that faith tells a person are great in the eyes of God, no matter what people may think of one’s conduct. “

TrueMan up!

Cultural Manliness Vlog – Get Your Gear On

Happy Lent 2014.  Ok, well maybe it’s not happy… it’s not supposed to be.  Either way, I’m pumped about Lent this year!  I’m ready to dive into my Lenten devotions so that I can work on growing in virtue, specifically through personal discipline and self-control.

Here’s a vlog on Cultural Manliness, encouraging men to be counter-cultural and to “get your gear on, and pack up.”

TrueMan up!

« Previous Page