Matt Fradd’s “Rules for Men to Break”

Today, for the first time in maybe 6 or 8 years, I sat in the crowd of a men’s conference merely as a participant.  I wasn’t a speaker at the event, nor was I running a vendor table.  It was relaxing, encouraging, and gave me some good thoughts about areas I would like to write/speak on, as well as some tips/hints where I can improve my speaking.  Overall, the day went very well and I think the 1,500 men in the room walked away inspired and enthusiastic.

Matt Fradd was one of the keynote speakers, as he often is at men’s conferences.  He did an outstanding job.  He is very good at the art of public speaking.  I’d like to recount his “5 Rules That Every Man Should Break”, and then give some thoughts of my own on the topic.

The 5 Rules:

1. Never get into a fight.
2. Never think about sex.
3. Never give into peer pressure.
4. Never risk it all.
5. Never ask for directions.

I’m happy to say that I’ve broken all of these rules!  Number 1: Although in my youth, I used to get into physical altercations frequently (sorry if you didn’t know that, Mom!), I now fight for things much more important – like the innocence of my children.  I fight for truth.  I fight the evils of pornography.  Getting into these sorts of fights… for goodness, and justice… is a good thing!  In fact, men are called to this.  To be effective, however, we must be educated, courageous, and prudent.

Number 2 is so important for us to understand.  Sex is a good thing!  Similarly to fire, sex needs to be contained, and looked at in context.  Fire, raging out of control, is bad.  It can destroy, and kill.  Sex, out of context and out of control, will ultimately destroy love and will kill us.  (For more on this, search out and read anything by Christopher West on the topic of Blessed John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”.  Especially reference any time that West refers to the “fast food diet vs. the starvation diet” of sex for more understanding of the correct Catholic view of sex.)

Number 3 can be tricky… we should give into peer pressure when the pressure of our peers is good and properly ordered.  This requires work on our part, and discipline, to put ourselves in good places with good people.  How many of us have solid, well-formed friends that we spend our time with?  Not only, however, that we spend our time with, but also that challenge us to live better, and hold us accountable to the standard that we want and are called to uphold?  If you don’t, you need to seek out these kinds of people and get to work!

Number 4 comes down to courageousness.  The courage to risk it all is within you!  If you’re a man and have been with a suitable woman for the right amount of time, don’t wait!  “Risk it all” and ask her to marry you already!  If you’re considering the priesthood, don’t sit around and waste time “discerning” more… make a decision and do it!  (Please don’t take my use of discernment as though I don’t believe in it.  I use it emphatically here b/c of how skewed it has become, and how it allows men to hide behind it like a mask, easily shucking any form of responsibility.)  Decisiveness is a virtue; a sub-virtue of prudence.

Number 5 takes our minds automatically to the road, but I’d prefer to take it deeper.  How about linking this to spiritual direction?  Accountability?  Obedience to our priests?  Taking directions from trusted, wise, and faithful men can be the difference between success and failure in life.

Thanks to Matt Fradd for this good list of rules to break.  Let’s step outside of the “norm” and be dangerous men for the Lord!  How many do you break?

TrueMan up!

7 Days of Virtue; Day 1 – Prudence

Think of virtues like your muscles.  You work you muscles out so that they can perform for you when needed.  Virtue is the same way.  You practice, work on the virtue and then, when the time comes, the virtue is there and ready.

Day 1 of the 7 Day Journey through the Virtues: DAY 1 – PRUDENCE.

Prudence is wisdom for practical everyday life.  This means that you take practical knowledge and right reason and you use them to make decisions throughout your day. 

“Knowing how to do the right thing, at the right time in the right way.” 

Prudence directs all of the other virtues; therefore, we must always have the end in mind so that prudence can guide us to our goal.  There are three sub-virtues to Prudence; 1. Counsel 2. Judgement 3. Decisiveness.  Counsel is gathering information to make a good decision.  (You seek help in making your decisions.)  Judgement is sort of like being a court judge; you gather information using counsel and then you weigh that information.  Decisiveness is the action that you take after counsel and judgement.

Prudence comes down to choices and actions.  Our choices are incredibly important, thus we must know what to do, how to do it and when to do it.  Being prudent means that you react out of knowledge and information, not out of emotion, impulse or passion.  Being prudent means that you have given the choice a good deal of thought.  Being prudent means that you aren’t afraid to commit to a decision.

If you want to grow in the virtue of prudence, practice being prudent. (Practice seeking counsel, making good judgements and being decisive.  You must also pray that God presents you with opportunities to receive grace so that you may become prudent.)

Man up!