No, Ken Doll DOESN’T Make Metrosexual Cool

Maybe you’ve heard this… some people think that Ken (from Toy Story 3) makes being ‘metrosexual’ cool.  Ummm… well… no.  Being metrosexual isn’t cool.  More importantly, being metrosexual isn’t virtuous, so therefore, it’s not manly.

What is metrosexual?  From my research, there’s not one widely-agreed-upon definition.  Personally, I think Wikipedia actually got it right for once… “Metrosexual… a man who has a strong concern for his appearance or a lifestyle that displays attributes stereotypically associated with homosexual men, although he is not homosexual.”  Manicures, pedicures, facials, ridiculous hair treatments, eyebrow plucking, spray-on tanner, gossip magazines/sites… ugh.  Short-tempered.  Shallow and selfish – “Solid ride. Solid physique. Solid hair.  Solid.”

Please note, there is a drastic difference between being a metrosexual and a gentleman.  A gentleman is concerned with his appearance, but not overly concerned with it and never in a self-centered or conceited way.  A gentleman is prudent in his decisions, temperate in his actions, courageous in all things and seeks justice for all.  A gentleman lives an ordered life, not the disordered life of a metrosexual.  A gentleman is authentically masculine while a metrosexual is effeminate.  A gentleman praises others, while a metrosexual seeks praise as an end, in and of itself.  A gentleman always respects a woman and fights to defend her.  Sometimes, women are falsely drawn towards metrosexual men, often times because metros are more tender and understanding (all emotional)… see how Barbie feels about Ken initially in the video below.  These women typically end up hurt and alone because those characteristics wear off eventually, leaving the woman in pain and alone.

Back to Ken… the dolldude obviously has issues… attachment to worldly possessions, personal appearance and a desire for shallow and empty “swagger”.  “A whole room, just for trying on clothes.”  Come on, Ken.

TrueMan up!

He Lost It

Maybe you saw this video from about 10 days ago.  It’s video of a minor league hockey coach who goes ballistic on the referee about a bad call against one of his players.  The coach is Jim Playfair, which is sort of ironic, considering.  Be sure to watch the folks in the stands, as well as the players to the coach’s left laughing at him.  Take a look.

If you can’t view the video, click HERE.

What’s amazing is that in our culture, this sort of behavior is glorified.  Although collectively, we think things such as “what a crazy man” or “that guy’s goin’ nuts”, we watch it and continually let it happen.  This particular video has been viewed over 555,000 times, and is merely one version of the incident.  The fact that this coach lost his cool like this shows that he’s not virtuous in the area of prudence, temperance or justice.  (A TrueMan is virtuous.)  I wonder what would happen at my office if someone acted this way.

I watched a few videos discussing this outburst, and one that caught my attention was a radio personality that said, something to the effect of, “this is a coach expressing emotion.  He’s defending his player, showing some emotion.  I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”  In fact, the radio guy went on to call it “great”, that this coach did what he did.  Well, Mr. Smart-Radio-Personality-Guy, a TrueMan controls his emotions and doesn’t lash out like Mr. Playfair.  This was not great.

TrueMan Up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – A Kid Pouts, but a Man Shouldn’t

This morning, my oldest daughter woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  From her nap this afternoon, she woke up on the wrong side of the bed, again.  Nothing was right for her all day.  She didn’t want to play when playtime was suggested.  She didn’t want to eat, when meals were prepared.  She didn’t want to clean up, she didn’t want to nap, she didn’t want to play, she didn’t want to pray.  Then, to top it all off, a huge snow storm hit our region and is potentially preventing us from getting to the airport and flying to visit family – she was not happy about these details.  She reacts and her reaction is to pout, throw a tantrum and fuss.  A man shouldn’t react that way.

As a grown up (or as a “growing” up), we must realize that our reactions to tough situations should be even keeled.  More properly put, our reactions should be “ordered”.  I recently watched a program on prison inmates.  The inmates seemed pretty calm and easy to get along with while on camera, but unruly, defiant and violent when someone made them mad.  They looked like a little kid who wasn’t getting their way, and anyone in their way paid the price.  A TrueMan reacts differently.

When I was younger, my reactions to tough situations were pitiful.  As I’ve grown older with age, and as I’ve come out the other side of a really bad rage problem, it has become very clear to me that men of virtue, ie: TrueMen, don’t allow their emotions to determine how they act.  TrueMen act out of truth… with responsible reactions.  It’s a good thing to work on.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – My Primary Vocation & Responsibility

Sometimes it’s hard to clearly determine priorities.  What’s really number one in my life?  Why is it number one?  What else must occur in order for number one to stay number one?  As a husband and father, my primary vocation is to care for my wife and children, and this is where priorities get sticky for me.  In order to care for them, I need to be with them, but at the same time, I also need to provide shelter, clothing, food and safety – the essentials.  In order to provide the essentials, I have to earn money.  In order to earn money, I have to be away from them, either at my office, on the road speaking or at other locations outside the home.  Since I’m also studying for my master’s degree, my time is taxed heavily.  This isn’t even to mention upkeep of the house and vehicles, house chores and other necessary errands that must be completed.  How do I determine rankings of my responsibilities?

I’ve found that taking myself out of the equation is the best way to make the determinations.  What?  Here’s what I mean… I try to remove my desires, my wants, my preferences and instead, place my wife and children (and all of their needs, wants and desires) first.  When I do this, I find that my emotions are kept in check (even though I might want to be making money, hanging with my guy friends or watching a game).  When my emotions are kept in check, I am able to clearly determine what’s important.  Keep in mind, that making money isn’t bad, and hanging with your guy friends isn’t bad.  They are both goods things.  However, if making money, hanging out with your guy friends or any other activity/project/endeavor takes you away from your priorities, they become distractions and hindrances.

So, when determining priorities, I recommend removing yourself and your emotions from the decision making process.  Once you do that, your mind will be clear and you’ll be able to clearly make the right decisions.  Best of luck.

Man up!

Control Your Emotions

I’ve realized, lately, that I often tell my oldest daughter, who is now a new two year old, to control her emotions.  Some might think that it’s over the top and too advanced for a child her age, I disagree.  I’m trying to convey to her, in a time of an emotional up-and-down, that she has the ability and the power to control her actions in regards to her emotional status.  Sometimes she immediately changes her behavior, other times she doesn’t.  The realization that I’ve had is that most adults can’t do this simple task.

Emotions are highly overrated and, when used in decision making, volatile.  I’m thinking back to several encounters (some of which I have posted about on this site) that I’ve had with adult men over the past several months.  The regular and recurring theme between many of the encounters that have gone badly is that the man couldn’t control his emotions.  He allowed his emotions (regardless of what they might be) to get the better of him.  It’s a shame, really.

By allowing your emotions to be in control, you are saying that your brain isn’t strong enough or smart enough or formed enough (etc) to make a change.  I know better than that.  Your brain is capable of being in charge and putting your emotion in their right and ordered place.  Try it next time… when you’re frustrated in traffic, relax, be a gentleman and keep on.  When you get bad service at the restaurant, remain calm, let it roll away – you can still demand customer service, simply do it in the right way.  When someone mistreats you, act out of charity… stand firm in the truth and remain vigilant for justice.  When you disagree with your spouse, put her needs first, even when it means that you won’t get your way – be a servant-leader.  No matter what the situation, you have the ability to control your emotions.  I guarantee you, without a doubt, that you’ll like yourself much more and other people will like and respect you more.

Man up!