Filling the Void in a Kid’s Life

It’s a sad situation when a child grows up without a father.  Unfortunately, we have a large segment of society living without their fathers… some because they’ve passed away, and some because the fathers fail to step up.  Both situations are difficult, but I submit that those that fail to step up are more detrimental to the lives of their kids, leaving a huge void – a void almost insurmountable.

I recently had the opportunity to go with my eleven year old nephew, Isaac, to his youth trap league.  We were accompanied by Isaac’s grandfather, but not by the boy’s father.  Isaac performed incredibly, especially in the face of adverse conditions.  It was cloudy, cold, and extremely windy, but he kept with it and shot really well.  The sun eventually came out, the winds calmed, and at the end of the day, Isaac had a lot to show for his performance.  I wanted to highlight him and his efforts because I’m so proud of him, but also felt the need to talk about the void that is present in his life and what I’m trying to do about it.

Have you heard or read the stats about children who grow up without a father and how they are set up for failure?  Well, Isaac is beating those odds!  Thanks to his mother who is strong and doing all she can, and thanks especially to Isaac’s Grandpa, he is succeeding in, despite his sitaution, and will continue to be supported and encouraged.  It is amazing to watch this young boy grow and overcome.

Isaac and his siblings are a prime example of growing up with the void of a father.  Yes, they have a father.  Yes, they see their father and are in his custody at times.  His kids need and deserve more.  That’s where other men MUST come in.  Maybe you know a kid like Isaac – another little kid who is fighting hard to beat the odds.  We can’t wait around and expect that dad to change, we have to step in and fill the void.  Along the way, we should also challenge the father to pick up the slack and change his behavior, but that may never pan out, so we invest in the child all that we can.

I invest in my nephew because I know it will make him better.  If I can first live by example, then help lead him into manhood through extra effort, I believe that my efforts will be rewarded.  I believe it will effect his younger siblings in a positive way, too.  Think about the kids in your life that have a void and figure out a way you can step in and cover some of that gap.  If you don’t, who will?

TrueMan up!

Keep Fighting

Men, Whether you’ve been on the battle field for a long time or have just begun the fight, I want to encourage you to continue to fight! The devil is strategic in how he attacks you and a period of freedom (any amount of time) can at times play games with a man’s mind, allowing him a sense of “I’m done with this” – that’s called complacency.  No matter how long you’ve experienced freedom (1 day or 10 years), you can never let your guard down.  The path to holiness is paved by discipline and you must remain disciplined in order to successfully achieve holiness.  Holiness, a complete imitation of Christ, in Heaven is our goal.  If you’re reading TrueManhood for the first time, then you may not know what I’m talking about.  Here at TrueManhood, we directly attack the evils of the culture, one of those being a most grave evil – pornography.

For men who are reading this for the first time (or for someone who knows a man who has an addiction to pornography but hasn’t yet sought help), please visit the links posted below to get started in battling your addiction.  If you’ve already seen all these resources, it may be time to read them again.  Take back your life and strive for TrueManhood – a life of virtue in Christ Jesus.

• For “TrueManhood’s 5 Step Plan to Overcoming an Addiction to Pornography” Click HERE.
• To read other articles about the fight against pornography, type in ‘PORN‘ or ‘PORNOGRAPHY‘ in the search box towards the upper right.
• For Porn Addiction Resources, Click HERE.
• For “TrueManhood’s Guide to Virtue” Click HERE.
• To view videos of my talks against pornography addiction, Click HERE.
• For free anti-porn software, click HERE.
• If at anytime you need assistance with your battle, email me directly at Dave@TrueManhood.com.

TrueMan up!

RMCMC 2010 – One Day Away

The 2010 Rocky Mountain Catholic Men’s Conference is only one day away.  Saturday, March 20, 2010 proves to be an epic event and I encourage any local (Colorado) men to make it a priority.  There are plenty of seats available and you can pay at the door.  The event takes place at the Pikes Peak Center in downtown Colorado Springs… merely an hour’s drive from Denver from the north or Pueblo from the south.  Here’s why an event like this is important.

1. As men, we thrive off brotherhood.  Brotherhood may be considered, simply, when men spend time together, preferably doing manly things.  Imagine what boys growing up together do – then make it relevant to adulthood and things that actually matter… that’s what this conference (and hopefully all men’s conferences around the country) are about.  Together, as men of faith, we encourage one another to grow in holiness, Sacramental behavior, daily prayer, and hopefully, to be better men.
2. Men need encouragement.  Think of this like an over-sized team huddle, when your team is in a vital spot and really needs to score a touchdown, or that gigantic defensive stop to win the game.  The quarterback or defensive leader should be trying to pump his team up so they pull off the incredible play.  The encouragement from the speakers, vendors, priests and bishops and the other men in attendance can be just the thing that most of us need to get our act together and win in the game of life.
3. Men need to continue to grow in holiness.  No matter where a man is in his faith journey, he can be a better man.  Events like a men’s conference show us the path to holiness, especially if we’re open to what the Holy Spirit is doing in our lives.

I encourage all of us to think about at least one man that we know that needs an invitation to something like this, and then make the invitation.  If you’re a man who’s attending a men’s conference, just extend the invitation.  If you’re a woman who knows of a man who needs to attend an event like this, it would be best to have another man extend the invitation at your request.  An invitation isn’t pressure to go, it’s a simple way of showing encouragement and extending a friendly hand.  Don’t be weak in your invitation and don’t be a power-monger either.  Be genuine and see what happens… it can’t hurt to ask.  Maybe you don’t live in Colorado and can’t get to the Rocky Mountain Catholic Men’s Conference, that’s okay.  There’s an event like this somewhere near you, and if there isn’t, I want to know!  (I’ll work to get something there!)  A men’s conference may be the thing that encourages a man to change his life for Christ.

To see more info, click HERE to go to the conference website.

Man up!

Covenant Eyes – Protect Yourself & Family

TrueManhood Men’s Ministry has teamed up with Covenant Eyes to bring you and yours important accountability and filtering software protection for your electronic devices.  Today is the day – start protecting yourself now.

Click this link to receive your first month free.

Covenant Eyes provides not only a filtering service, but also accountability for the user.  For any man working on personal growth, accountability is essential.  This software not only protects you from what you see and come across online, but also sends a list of all sites and content viewed while online to your accountability partner.  (Your closest friend, your spouse, whomever.  Hey, you could send it to your grandma if that’ll help you stay pure!)  Covenant Eyes can track across a wide variety of devices and operating systems, with many more to come.  For more info on this product, check out covenanteyes.com.

TrueMan up!

That's What Makes You That Guy

So I was watching a movie tonight and got a great quote from it.  The one character, a young, know-it-all punk-kid asked the older character, a long-time police officer, why he does it.  Why does he put his life on the line and why does he continue to get that crap kicked out of him for people he doesn’t know, nor like?  The older character simply said, “I’m doin’ it now because there’s no one else to do it.”  The young guy replied, “That’s what makes you that guy.”

He wasn’t speaking to him based on the typical “that guy” connotation… he was saying it in a positive way.  The young character was telling the older character that he was brave and heroic, and that he wished he was that way.

Do you live in a way that makes you that guy?  Are you brave and heroic?  Do you live your life in a way that encourages others to be brave and heroic?  Do you encourage others to live outside themselves, to push their limits, so that they become brave and heroic?

Man up!

Encouraging Men to Get Involved

I recently posted “A Fireside Discussion” and received a comment requesting follow-up information about how to encourage men to get involved in the Church.  Here you go…

Men won’t get involved in stuff if they don’t see a value.  Also, they aren’t likely to attend an event, group or club unless they know someone else, and know them well.  (These are all generalizations; please keep this in mind.)  Another reason men won’t get involved is if they see the stuff as weak, lame or feminine.  Unfortunately, many men see Mass, Church events, groups and retreats through this lens.  From my previous post, I mentioned that the Church is “by women, for women”, and this is a big reason why men aren’t involved.  Men shouldn’t be forced into praying like women pray, it doesn’t work for us.  Men need to pray the way men were created to pray.  There’s a difference, and that difference is important.  (Maybe more on this in a future post?)

So how do you encourage men to participate?  It’s tough to know, exactly.  I think that a great way is to get to the heart of a man, that which God put deep inside each man.  It’s different from anything else in the world, and hard to explain.  See, men want to be rugged and tough.  They want to shoot stuff, and fix stuff, and build stuff.  They want to protect and defend, they want to love and be loved.  They want to feel a purpose and be accomplished.  Unfortunately, so many men don’t know how to do any of that stuff.  If we want men to participate, we have to encourage them, build them up and GIVE THEM A PERSONAL INVITATION.  Personal invitations, from men they trust and respect, might just be the thing to get a man involved at Church.  The event better not suck, or be lame, and it better not be associated with ‘sissiness’.  If it does, he’ll never come back.

I encourage all the faithful, if they know a man who needs to be involved, to be like St Monica.  St Monica, the mother of St Augustine, prayed unceasingly for her son.  Augustine was a wandering-soul.  He lived a life of incredible sin and his mother still prayed.  He became on of the greatest writers of the Church.  That man who you know might just be the next St Augustine.

Man up!

The Past is the Past, Live for Today

There’s a young couple that I know that inspired this post.  They know who they are.  The idea came up the other day when speaking to them, that although her past was rocky and riddled with struggle, pain and sin, that he is strong enough, as a man, to move beyond what happened in her past.  He is being a TrueMan.  She is striving for holiness and he sees that.  He encourages her, builds her up, helps her to know that she is great and a wonderful daughter of God the Father.  He is encouraged and challenged by her lifestyle, and that makes him better.  He realizes that her mistakes of the past are overcome by Christ’s sacrifice.  Although the emotional baggage can be difficult to work through, he knows it is well worth the fight.  His response could be much different.

Instead of being so loving, understanding and positive, he could choose to react harshly.  He could choose to end the relationship.  He could choose to be mean, hurtful and condescending.  If this was the method he took, he would be forgetting his own brokenness.  He would be forgetting the fact that he, as well as she and everyone else, needs the power of Confession and forgiveness from Christ.

I challenge all of my readers to take some time to think about your perspective of today.  Is today’s behavior based on mistakes from the past?  Are you unable to move forward because of pain from past choices?  Do you try to live today in order to right the wrongs from the past?  Is the past guiding your today too strongly?

Do you forget about today because of the promise of tomorrow?  Do you have an unhealthy assurance that you’ll be alive tomorrow?  Do your daily actions, choices, words and thoughts warrant Heaven as a reward of a good and faithful servant?  These questions, and so many more, are important.  Our attitude is a vital part to our lifestyle.

If we see the past as “fixable”, or today as a waste, or tomorrow as the only thing to live for, then we are missing the boat.  We’re called to holiness in every moment of today.  This moment may be our last, so we must live it to the full.  The past is the past, live for today.

Man up!

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