Back to Campus

With most schools starting recently (or soon), I thought it would be good to address some issues about how a TrueMan behaves on campus.  A college campus, as we all know, can be a hostile place for an ardent follower of Christ.  It can be a treacherous minefield of explosive situations, abusive and vulgar language, uncomfortable environments and disagreements with unbelievers.  In order to deal with these difficult issues, here are a couple suggestions.

• Be yourself.  If you love and serve God, don’t be ashamed of it.  Live it out, your witness will come through – people will want what you have.
• Don’t give in to negative peer pressure.  Negative peer pressure is stupid… Real friends don’t force you into bad situations and surely don’t lead you into sin.  We call these people “nasty friends”.  If you’ve got ’em, get rid of ’em.  Don’t ruin your life holding on to people who are ruining theirs.
• If you are struggling, and think that you’ve got it bad or that you’re really suffering for the increase of the Kingdom, read about St Paul in 2 Corinthians 11/12.  That’s some good perspective, huh?!
• There’s a big difference between being a strong Catholic man who stands for something good as compared to a “culturally manly” guy who wants the “glamorous” lifestyle of money, power, women and stuff.  College campus life increases these bad desires exponentially.
• Many women on your college campus won’t understand the chivalry you extend to them.  Do it anyway, with charity and a smile.  Be a radical change on your campus.
• Being a Man of God doesn’t mean you can’t have anything to drink, or that you can’t go to any parties.  It means that you put yourself in good situations, that point you towards heaven and you act in moderation and with prudence.  Remember, Jesus hung out with sinners, but not when they were sinning.
• Strive for excellence in all things.  Start by being sober and chaste.  If you conquer these two areas, you’re well on your way.
• As much as it seems untrue, women don’t want to marry the dirtball, drunkard, C-minus-student types.  They want a gentleman, a man who’s going to provide for them, a man who loves them and shows their love by respecting them and by being self-sacrificing.  They want a man who is going to be a great dad and a hard worker.  There’s nothing wrong with stacking the deck on this topic!  Put all the cards in your favor from the get-go!

All in all, college is a great time for a young man.  Live it up.  Enjoy it.  In all things, be focused on Christ, live virtue and especially, live joy.

Man up!

Killing a Good Man Quickly

My wife and I were talking the other night about something that’s very important for men.  Man time.  She said, so profoundly, “I’ve never known a female who longed for, or who needed time with her girls like guys need time with their buddies.”  She also said, “If a man is married, the quickest way to kill him is to take away his time with the guys.”

We talked a bit about this topic and as I thought about it, I realized more so that night than any other, that my wife supports me hanging out with my buddies because she knows it’s best for me, our kids, our marriage, the Church and our world.  She supports my time with the guys because she knows that my friends are solid men that challenge me to make myself better.  She supports me because our time together makes me, and them, an all-around better man.  Some women might not know about this concept, so let’s bring it to light today.

There is a caveat here.  If the “buddies” aren’t good men, this idea doesn’t work.  If the men are out doing vicious (un-virtuous) things, it’s not going to build anyone up to be a better man.  So, this idea only works when the group, as a whole, are striving for excellence in all things.  If time with the guys involves drinking too much, finding women or causing trouble, it’s obviously counter to quality man time.

This is also not to say that man time should supersede family time, or spousal time.  A proper ordering of time with one’s friends is important anyway, but when a wife and/or children are involved, the time spent outside the home needs to be properly regulated.  This regulation should be the man’s responsibility; if you’re out of the house 5 nights a week with other things (whatever they are), it’s not good to be out another night on a regular basis.  Keep it monitored and all will be well.

To the women: the idea of men getting together, hanging out, drinking a beer, maybe watching a game, might sound trivial and pedestrian to you.  In some cases, you’d be correct.  However, when the caliber of men increases in the group, the effect the “man time” has also increases.  Encourage your man to find solid friends, men who are leaders and who love their families.  Men who are virtuous and who are striving for excellence.  This time away will benefit the family in ways you may not know are possible.

To the men: there’s a big responsibility with man time, so don’t blow it for the rest of us.  Keep it pure, keep it focused.

Man up!