The TrueManhood Podcast Episode 6 – Get to Know Dave DiNuzzo

Dave shares a little about himself in an attempt to connect with the audience. He shares about his life, his wife and kids, his extra curriculars, and other interesting details. Check it out!

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The TrueManhood Podcast Episode 2 – St. Joseph

Dave DiNuzzo of The TrueManhood Podcast takes a look at St. Joseph, the role of man, how to live as a father, and more.

St. Joseph was righteous under the law and taught Jesus everything He knew, what a perfect opportunity for God to be glorified through His creation. St. Joseph, pray for us!

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Re-Post: The Miracle Baby (7 Years Later)

***This is a re-post, originally from February 9, 2011.***

With great pride, and extreme joy, I write this post about my first son, David Walter DiNuzzo Jr.  I pray that the story of his journey from womb to world is inspiring, faith-sharpening and encouraging for all those read it.

The starting point of this story is ambiguous to me, because I believe that to successfully trace the steps back far enough we have to go way back into my past.  I don’t want to prolong the story here, so I’ll skip those past details for now and move right into this most blessed and miraculous story.

On the last Sunday in January 2011, my wife Catherine, now thirty-nine weeks and one day pregnant (why do they jip women out of the 10th month?  40 weeks, which is full term, is 10 months!) noticed some significant bleeding.  Concerned for what this might mean, we went into the hospital’s triage area.  This was visit #4 to triage for this pregnancy.  Nothing came of this visit because the baby sounded great on the monitor and it appeared that the bleeding had subsided.  Later the same day, Catherine noticed that the bleeding had begun again.  Again, we made our way into triage and this time, received an ultrasound.  Trip #5.  The ultrasound hoped to determine, and possibly pinpoint, the source of the blood.  The ultrasound was unsuccessful.  We returned home, exhausted and concerned.  Catherine had an incredibly rough night of sleep, thanks to the severe contractions she was experiencing.  On Monday, she woke up to much more bleeding and a heightened amount of contractions.  Throughout all of this, Catherine remained calm and purposeful, desiring to give our baby the best start possible.  I love her for that, amidst a million other reasons.

After speaking with our CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife), we decided to head to the office for a check.  There, again, nothing could be determined, especially the cause of the bleeding.  Because of the ambiguity, it was decided that labor needed to be induced.  Although we are all-for natural, drug-free labors and births, we knew we had to secede here and do what was best for our boy.  We headed to the hospital.  Once we arrived and got settled (yeah, right), the drugs were administered and shortly thereafter, Catherine began to labor and WOW! she was doing incredible.  She was being a champ, doing better than I had ever seen her do previously.  After some time in labor, Catherine sensed that something was wrong.  She felt something coming, but knew it wasn’t the baby.  I suggested that our CNM check her.  While performing the check, our CNM Sharon (an incredible woman) noticed the problem – a prolapsed umbilical cord.  This means that the cord was going to be birthed first, which would have caused immediate rupture of the cord, as the head would have put immense pressure on the cord as it pressed against the cervix.  Next would have been loss of blood flow and oxygen, which would have been certain death for our son, not to mention potential death for my wife from blood loss through internal bleeding.

Thanks to quick thinking, solid understanding of the situation, as well as some divine intervention, Sharon actually kept Dave Jr.’s head from pressing on the cord anymore than it already had been.  As she kept pressure on his head, away from the birth canal, she hopped up on the gurney and rode all the way into the operating room and remained in that position until the crash c-section was performed and Dave Jr. was out.  (From the time Sharon checked Catherine until the time Dave Jr. was out was a total of only four and a half minutes.  Incredible.)  At this point, I was unable to be in the operating room.  This was quite difficult and a very telling time for me.  (I’ll explain that more below.)

Fast forward… Sharon came out and told me that Catherine was doing fine.  She was still under, because of the general anesthesia, and would be under and then quite groggy for a decent amount of time.  Then she broke the news to me about Dave Jr.  He wasn’t breathing and had a heart beat of around 40 beats per minute.  He was still in the operating room, and I was anxiously waiting to see him wheeled out.  He had to be resuscitated with CPR and intubated.  He was given a shot of epinephrine to the heart, and was shocked twice with the paddles.  He was without oxygen for approx 4-6 minutes.  A respiratory nurse was “bagging” him, and they finally wheeled him out and headed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).  About a minute later, I was allowed into the NICU.  I witnessed as a team of nurses and doctors performed various procedures on him, including placing IV feeding tubes into his belly button (through the remaining umbilical cord stump) and placing him on a ventilator.

Initial discussions of Dave Jr.’s time in the NICU were anywhere from one to two weeks or even more.  It was amazing that Dave Jr. made it, many babies don’t, let alone what happened next.  Almost immediately, Dave Jr.’s body color turned to a perfect pinkish tone.  He began to kick and punch.  His heart rate was regulating itself.  His breathing was getting much better and he was extubated.  (I actually witnessed him reach up with his fingers and pull the nasal tube out himself!)  He was only on the ventilator about an hour and a half.  His vital signs were great, his organ function was all normal and he was regulating his own temperature.  Then, he began to eat normally and perform normal bowel functions.  Everything was coming into place.  What he was showing is, what I believe, his will and determination that will take him very far in life.  It matters not that he was without oxygen.  It matters not that he was close to death.  What matters is that he is here with us now and that God has great things in store for him.  I truly believe that he will have an incredibly abundant life and that his witness to the precious nature of life will speak volumes to those he comes in contact with.

My time in waiting, as I mentioned above, was very telling for me.  It showed me a bit of who I am and what I’m made of.  The situation was chaotic and troubling.  I was unable to help, unable to assist the doctor, the nurses, my wife or son.  As I waited, alone, for what seemed like hours, I could hear nurses and doctors, but never heard a baby crying.  I knew it wasn’t a good situation.  I had to decide what I was going to do.  I could have denied what was happening, believing some other sort of (un)reality.  I could have panicked.  I could have thought the worst was going to happen.  I could have been overly emotional.  I could have placed blame.  I could have gotten angry.  (I could have gotten angry and placed blame on God.)  I could have struggled with my faith.  I didn’t do any of that.  I chose something different.  I chose to pray.  I chose to surrender.  I chose to relinquish any and all control that I thought I may have had at some point or another.  I chose to trust.  I placed all that I needed, all that I cared about, all that I hoped for, all that I worried about at the foot of the cross.  I gave it to Him.  I asked Him to give me strength.  I trusted and my faith prevailed.

I figured that if I wavered, or if I lost trust in God, my Creator, that the last many years of my life would be for not.  That everything I’ve said, prayed, preached, wrote, spoke or posted would be a contradiction to what I actually believe.  I would have to quit my ministry job and move on to something else.  I would not be the TrueMan I hope and strive to be.

Instead, I remained strong.  I’m proud to say that!  I didn’t waver.  I didn’t lose trust.  I held on to everything that I have learned, prayed about, desired and knew that was in me.  So when Sharon came out to tell me what was going on, before I knew that Catherine and Dave Jr. were okay, I could honestly look at her and tell her that I was okay.  She was very concerned for me, assuming that I would really be struggling.  I wasn’t, I let my faith in God’s plan comfort me.  I put my emotions in check and responded reasonably and rationally.  Although we haven’t spoken about it much lately, virtue is the key… it is what got me through.  I don’t profess to have any of the cardinal virtues, but I believe that I have the virtue of faith.  I feel blessed to have that virtue and even more blessed that my wife and son are alive and well.

Here’s to my little TrueMan – TrueMan up!

***UPDATE: This re-post is being written in February 2018… 7 years after Dave Jr. was born.  He defied all the odds, and is an incredible young man.  He functions at an incredibly high level, excels at school, is a multi-sport all-star athlete, and a very kind and generous little soul.  He is a gentleman, and professes to want to be a priest when he grows up!

“Tuesdays with Daddy” are BACK!

In the early days of TrueManhood, going back to the earliest version of these posts in November of 2009, I began writing posts entitled “Tuesdays with Daddy”.  At the time, because I worked lots of nights and weekends, I was able to work my schedule so that I could stay home on Tuesdays, which afforded me special time with my children.  Back in 2009, my wife and I had our first two children; our young daughters… only 2 and 1 years old.  At that point, parenting – especially the aspect of being a great father – was foremost on my mind.  I was trying to figure out just how to parent and wanted to give my kids everything they could ever need, especially a spiritual foundation that was strong in our Lord Jesus Christ and His Church.  I wanted to be a super dad.  Now, nearly a decade later, I still want to give them everything, and I work hard to be a super dad, but it looks a bit different.

Experience. Wisdom.  Suspense.  Heartache. Frustration.  Exhaustion.  Trial and error; okay, maybe more error than anything. Lots of words can be used to describe parenting.  However we slice it, life comes at us hard and fast, and kids develop quickly, and as parents, we have to stay on top of our game.  These days, my four children are in such a cool place.  They are incredibly active (involved in great academic endeavors, playing numerous team sports, training in mixed martial arts, studying piano and voice, becoming young chefs, and open to all kinds of activities and experiences!), not to mention that they are all at the ages where we can begin to have deep conversations that are meaningful, formative, and long-lasting.  Their spiritual formation is “on point”, as the cool kids say, and they can reasonably make their way through questions of faith, apologetics, and morals.  They’re pretty young for those types of deep convos, but I embrace it and can’t wait to share more with you!  My wife tends to meet with counseling clients on Tuesday afternoons and evenings, and that means that I find myself back with some special time with them on Tuesdays!  Hence, “Tuesdays with Daddy” are back.  I likely won’t be posting every Tuesday, but when good content pops up, you’ll be the first to read about it.

This first-post-back, I don’t have a radical story from Tuesday.  Rather than take you through the daily grind, I want to share a few experiences that occurred recently and how we worked through them.  First off, my son turned 7 a few days ago, and he received Heely’s from Grandma in the mail.  (Heely’s are shoes with wheels in the soul, like one-wheel roller skate shoes.)  He wanted to take the little wheel-removal-tool and be able to swap the wheels in and out.  I “ixnayed” that quickly because I know that once those wheels come out, either 1. They’ll be lost or 2. They’ll never go back in quite right, rendering the shoe worthless.  But, he’s 7 and likes to push the limits, so… he asked me about three times if he could have the tool.  He then asked my wife where the tool was, “just in case I ever need it”, he said, and then after dinner, I spotted him looking for the tool again.  I called him over, and firmly gave him my clear expectations.  After I laid out numerous reasons why he would forfeit his shoes to me if he took the wheels out, I had him repeat back to me what I just told him.  He heard me, repeated it back verbatim, and I highly doubt that he’ll ever try to take the wheels out.  So, it’s not really about the shoes or the wheels.  It’s not about his age.  It’s not about letting him make mistakes on his own terms  For me, it was about him knowing that I set a clear expectation for him and that there would be a clear consequence should he break the rule.  

Over the decade-plus of my being a dad, I’ve realized that there are plenty of times to take a stand, and plenty of times to let things slide.  The hardest part is knowing the difference.  This brings me to another great parenting point… and I certainly didn’t coin it, but absolutely believe in this principle wholeheartedly… “rules without relationship will end in rebellion.”  If a child only receives rules and punishment when he breaks them, but doesn’t understand the reasoning behind the rules, or the reasoning behind it doesn’t come from a place of love, then they will inevitably rebel.  David Jr. knows from the relationship that we have, that “Daddy is hard on you but you can absolutely live up to the expectation because you are good, you are loved, and you are so stinkin’ awesome!”

Another event that happened on Tuesday was the simple opportunity to cuddle with my 5 year old.  Her name is Maria and she is the “baby of the family.”  She is so incredible, and all she wants is to cuddle into Daddy’s arms and talk, or watch a home improvement show, or just “be”.  To the dads out there who are reading this, are you giving your kids enough physical touch?  They are in serious developmental stages and physical touch is proven to improve their self-confidence, their ability to thrive academically, and their emotional well-being.  Evaluate yourself hard on this and step your game up, especially for that one troublesome child you have, that is hardest to love.  They are the one who needs it the most.

As “Tuesdays with Daddy” pick back up, I hope to bring some practical aspects of parenting to the table, and share our crazy-ish life, hopefully to help others, and perhaps just to make you crack a smile.

TrueMan up!

‘Sexy’ Pressure for Girls at Halloween – an Article Primarily for Dads

The concept of ‘sexy pressure’ for girls at Halloween had never crossed my mind before my wife sent me a NY Times “parent blog” article – here it is – but now it’s resonating with me.  Makes me think about 10 years from now… what’s life going to be like for our little ones?  (Please read the article so that you understand what I’m talking about.  And not, I certainly don’t prescribe to what the author of the article is saying, but simply bringing it up as a point of discussion.)  I’m a father of 3 daughters, and although they are young, I’m aware of the pending pressure that’s coming – but apparently not aware enough.

In the article, you can sense that the pressure on girls comes mostly from other girls.  They didn’t talk about whether or not the guys thought they were ‘too sexy’, but the pressure stemmed almost exclusively from what the other girls perceived.  (I assert, too, that the pressure they feel isn’t so much real as it is only a perception, and the one quote shows that, when she says, essentially, “it’s not discussed but everyone knows it.”)  I’ve always found this to be true; the guys aren’t aware enough, most of the time, or don’t care enough, to make a big deal out of girl’s clothing.  Although there is that aspect when a girl is dressed in a “slutty” manner (per the article) when guys notice and begin to pay attention to her.  This is age-old.

What’s the big deal here?  Isn’t this just adolescent development, trial-and-error, and growing pains?  No, I don’t think so.  It’s a big deal because of the culture around our kids.  They see particular things online, on TV, in movies, in music videos, etc. and whatever is “it” MUST be emulated.  At least in their minds.  Whatever’s hip, cool, newest, biggest, baddest, and those things that push the moral lines, is what is desired.  Again, this is age-old.  The shiny thing that grabs attention is what becomes so sought after.  So, with our young women, and this idea of “dressing sexy for Halloween”, what do we do?  Fathers… where are you?

Here’s what we do.  I’ve written about this before, I speak about this all the time, I teach my kids in class this concept in all we do.  It’s not a new concept… it too is age-old.  We teach our kids that they are intrinsically good and that God loves them, and that we love them.  We instill in them a self-worth that is so strong that it can stand up against any cultural phenomenon, any peer pressure, any moral dilemma and come out victorious.  Without this self-worth, without this knowledge that they have a dignity that is deserving of only the greatest, they will fall into the pressure of the world to find their happiness, self-worth, and coolness factor from other things.  In the end, those other things won’t bring happiness, only emptiness.

Fathers: if you’re not the most loving, caring, compassionate, uplifting source of goodness in your daughter’s life, then why not?!  She needs your attention, your affection, your love, your discipline, your care, your concern.  NEEDS it like she needs water, food, oxygen, and shelter.  An absolute necessity.  If you’ve failed her in this area up to this point, work to fix your mistakes.  You’ve got 10 days before Halloween, it’s not too late.  And let’s be real, Halloween isn’t the issue, but it certainly accentuates the issue.

TrueMan up!

Porn – Out of Sight, Out of Mind?

I’m now a couple of weeks into my new career as a teacher.  I’m really enjoying it, and the kids are amazing.  We have great conversations about the faith, and I really believe that I’m reaching them.  As I consider each of my classes and each of my students, I haven’t yet breached the subject of pornography.  I’m working now to form bonds of trust and mutual respect, and want to work towards gaining moral authority with my students.  We’ll get there, and I don’t think it will take long.

In one class specifically, but in all seven of my classes generally, I’ll be diving into the topic of The Theology of the Body, and when we dive into that topic, we must (absolutely MUST) discuss the topic of pornography.  So I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to breach the subject, and how I’m going to deal with the responses.  I’ve presented to middle and high school kids plenty of times on the topic, but never in the classroom setting… always in retreat and/or talk situations.  This is going to be much different.

This got me thinking… if parents don’t fail with pornography use themselves, and also don’t know whether or not their children do, does the topic ever cross their mind?  Is pornography an “out of sight, out of mind” problem?  I know it crosses mine because I’m aware of the realities in my own life (past use), as well as the realities of the industry and the prevalence.  Here are some distinct groups when it comes to porn awareness.

1. Users: obviously, they’re highly aware of porn and are abusing it frequently.  It’s on their mind, if not constantly, very regularly.
2. Those fighting: highly aware and trying to create awareness in others.
3. Those in recovery: depending on the length of recovery, it may not be a frequent awareness, but they’re aware.
4. Those oblivious: have no knowledge of the topic, aren’t aware at all.
5. Those in denial: refusal to believe that porn is actually a problem.

What group do you fall in?  Are you a man using porn?  Does it rule your life?  What are you doing about it if this is you?  Or, are you in recovery?  Perhaps you’re oblivious and don’t know much about porn.  (You’ve come to a good site to learn more about the truths of pornography!  Just do a search in the white box.)  Are you a parent who is in denial of how bad pornography is and how likely your child is using it?  Wherever you might be, please continue to educate yourself on the matter and realize that, even if porn is “out of sight”, it can’t be “out of mind.”

I hope to be creating some good new resources for parents on the topic of fighting pornography, and I want to get them out to you very soon.  In the meantime, please look through my site for help.  Email info@truemanhood.com for specific questions.

TrueMan up!

Why I Hunt

The fall 2015 hunting season is just around the corner.  I’ve been putting in some time preparing for the season, and thought that the topic lent itself to the discussion of manliness, so I’m writing about why I hunt.  No, to be clear here, hunting doesn’t make a male a man.  No, you don’t have to hunt in order to be considered a TrueMan.  There are no pre-requisites in this article, simply my heart.  Here are some of the reasons why I hunt.

1. For Provision.  I hunt to provide food for my family.  No, it’s not our only source of food, but meat has definitely become the largest consumed food group over the past year.  Previously, our main consumption was probably grains; we’ve cut those dramatically.  Besides the purchase of local beef and pork – wild venison, dove, pheasant, turkey, and hog have become mainstays in our freezers.  My children thoroughly enjoy meat, prepared in various ways – usually grilled – and are growing lean muscles because of it.
2. For Bonding with my children.  My children, from very young ages, have demonstrated a desire to hunt with me.  We’ve spent time reading, watching, learning, and discussing hunting.  In my opinion, this is an absolute win-win situation for me.  I am able to have a hobby, that brings me life, that allows me to provide for my family, while also spending time with my kiddos doing something that we mutually enjoy.  Just a few weeks ago, my 7yr old daughter asked (unsolicited, I might add) if for her birthday this year, I could take her hunting.  Absolutely!  September 23rd I’m hoping to bag a deer with her!
3. For Education of my children.  Being in the wilderness with children offers countless educational opportunities.  It’s a great time to talk one-on-one, with no distractions.  It’s a great science lesson.  It’s a great opportunity to ask them to talk about God, His creation, and His love for us.  It’s perfect timing to talk about ethics (in hunting, and life in general), laws/regulations, and weapon safety.
4. To Rejuvenate.  Some might call this ‘to recreate’.  Either way, any time I have the opportunity to go out into the woods and the fields, it brings a sense of rejuvenation to me that being in town (even our small farm town) cannot provide.  Typically, the cell signal is low or out, you’re on your own and have to be self-reliant, and for me, those factors make me come alive!  A weapon in my hand, just waiting for the opportunity.
5. To Remain Mentally Sharp.  If you’ve never hunted, this one might seem obscure, but there’s something profound about waiting absolutely still, and quiet, in full camouflage, for that perfect opportunity to harvest a wild animal.  Your mental aptitude is tested, and between scouting out your location properly, to understanding the ins-and-outs of the particular game you’re hunting, it can be mentally exhausting. The wrong decision, movement, or noise can ruin your chances.  You should have a game plan, and backups, and that takes preparation.
6. To Hone My Skills of Survival.  Some would call me a conspiracy theorist, others might call me paranoid, still others would say that I’m not prepared enough.  Regardless of what your beliefs are about Muslim invasions, economic downturns, government oversteps, or terroristic attacks, one thing remains true… having the skills to live on your own may come in handy some day.  I need to know that I can harvest and cook food on a fire I created, and protect myself and family.  Being in the wilderness regularly helps me in that preparation.  Having skills with weaponry helps me in that preparation as well.

If you’ve never been in to hunting, but you want to get started, I’d ask these questions first.  1. What weaponry do you own?  (Shotgun, rifle, BB gun, bow, etc.  The weapon often dictates the game you’re able to hunt.)  2. Are you proficient with your weapon(s)?  (If not, practice practice practice.)  3. Where do you live and what are your local regulations?  (You have to know what education, licensure, and tags/permits are required, where you can use them, and when.  Learn this stuff online.)  4. Do you have any close contacts for people who can help teach you?  (Most true hunters would love the opportunity to hunt with someone new.  They can be your ticket into the hunting world!)  5. What source of educational materials do you have access to? (Online videos, YouTube, hunting channels, magazines, books, etc. are great sources to learn from.)

As always, if you have any needs or questions, don’t hesitate to contact us.  Email me at Dave@TrueManhood.com!

TrueMan up!

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