Vocational Discernment
Something that I’ve been discussing lately at the Air Force Academy among some of the faithful Catholic cadets is the topic of vocational discernment. For those who may not know, a vocation is a calling. (From the Latin, vocare.) The world would like to suggest that our calling is to something like an occupation; something we are drawn to and enjoy. Vocations, however, are much deeper than this. Vocations are about the call from God that will bring us fulfillment and happiness in life, to prepare us for life eternal with God in Heaven. The discernment part is how someone goes about listening to the call and applying that call in their life.
Many of the young men I have been discussing vocations with lately seem to know that they are called to the priesthood – however, they are all in different places with their decision making process. One young man is denying his call. Another is preparing to leave to enter seminary in a few months. Another wants badly to leave and enter a religious order, yet, doesn’t have the support from important family members. They are all journeying towards Christ. In this journey, they will find their way if they keep their eyes on Christ.
If you are currently discerning your vocation – married, religious or consecrated single life -, I recommend you take the following steps.
- Have an active, daily Sacramental and prayerful life.
- Seek a qualified spiritual director and meet with him regularly.
- Read good quality, orthodox, Catholic spiritual books.
- Talk to lots of people – priests, religious, seminarians, married men, married fathers and single men. Gather that information and prudently process it. (Ask lots of questions.)
- Spend at least 2 minutes per day gazing at a crucifix contemplating Christ’s example of love.
A word to family and friends of men discerning their vocation. I urge you to support them, whether you agree or not with their decisions. If a young man chooses the priesthood, via a call from God, don’t think that it’s an abrogation of life, or life as you know it. The priesthood is an incredible calling and must be respected and supported. Many believe that the priesthood is suppressing reality and suppressing sexuality and suppressing the desire to have a family. This is simply not true. Please, refrain from being a stumbling block in a man’s discernment. Support him, love him, answer his questions, attempt to guide him. In the end, however, it’s the man’s decision, not yours.
Here’s a short clip called “Fishers of Men” from the Vocations Office in NYC. Click HERE if you can’t see the video below.
TrueMan up!
A Fireside "Discussion"
Last night I was up in the mountains with a great group of young Catholics. We had a great little (easy) hike into a waterfall, played some horseshoes (in the dark) and had a nice meal cooked by our priest. Somehow [I’m still not certain how exactly] we began discussing the topic of women as altar servers. I have some pretty firm beliefs on the subject, and stemming from those beliefs, we began to discuss the current state of the Church – all from an opinion/experience standpoint.
I firmly believe that the modern, American Catholic Church is, as I’ve put it before, “by women, for women”. Yes, the “leaders” are Bishops, Priests and Deacons, but my point is that the lay-portion of the Church is the “for women” part. This caught some of the young women off guard and immediately put them on the defensive. This was NOT my intention. I intended to explain that the problem is not what the women are doing, or their involvement or their faithfulness or anything of the sort… I intended to explain that in order to fix the problem, men must step up and fulfill the call from God to be protectors, defenders, leaders and TrueMen!
Allow me to explain the statement “by women, for women”. If you look at a typical Catholic parish in America, 80%+ participation and involvement is middle-aged and older women, as well as children. The liturgies are filled with female volunteers, the events are orchestrated and attended by females and the typical style of worship is geared toward female spirituality – rightly so, since 80%+ in attendance are female. The problem with this is multi-faceted: First (and FOREMOST) MEN ARE NOT PRESENT. Men are slacking on their responsibilities and are failing to fulfill their calling as men. Secondly, when men fail to fulfill their role, women tend to step in and attempt to fulfill the men’s role for them. This doesn’t work because the male role(s) are meant to be fulfilled by men, and women simply can’t fulfill (rightly) a man’s role. In the same way, a man cannot successfully fulfill a woman’s role. If this occurs, the relationships and the fulfillment of the responsibilities are skewed, or disordered.
Another part to the problem is the idea of, an oxymoron, “The Fatherless Family”. If men are non-existent in the Church, the Church (which is similar to a family unit) will suffer greatly. This, in my opinion, is the current state of affairs. The solution to these problems is men stepping up, leading and fulfilling their responsibilities. As God commanded Adam in the garden, modern men must “shamar” the garden – they must protect, defend and cultivate their world. My hope is that men begin to learn what it means to live a truly manly lifestyle, within the context of the Life of Faith, as fathers, husbands, sons and friends and that the Church can return to a well-ordered way of operating. More to come on this.
Disclaimer: This is a generalization. There are many men, in many parishes, in many dioceses, that are fulfilling their responsibilities and are living well-ordered lives. There, the Church is strong. There, the Church is thriving.
Man up!
Chastity, A Life Choice
On Sunday, I was asked to address a group of high school guys at the Colorado Springs Chastity Rally. The young men were very attentive and seemed very receptive to the words of my message. As I spoke to these 14-18 year olds, I was hit that men over 18 need to hear this message just as much. Living a life of chastity is a choice and it is a call for all of us, whether we’re single, dating, married or a priest. In a marriage, a man must remain chaste… be careful not to confuse this with celibate, they are not the same thing. Living chastity means that we are living out our sexuality in the way that God intended. If you don’t know if you’re living a chaste life, I highly recommend diving into books that talk about this. My recommendations include “Theology of the Body for Beginners” and “The Good News About Sex and Marriage”. Both books are written by Christopher West. If you’ve read these books and are looking for more, you can always read the documents that these books come from, “Theology of the Body” by Pope John Paul II.
Living a chaste life is fulfilling. It’s not easy, but it’s fulfilling. The world is telling us that in order to be cool, hip and a real man, we must be having a ton of sex with every woman we come into contact with. This is NOT what God intended for us. You have the power to choose. You can choose a life of emptiness, moving from one night stand to one night stand. Or, you can choose a life of fulfillment, by giving yourself as a free gift to your wife in the sacred act of marital love. In my mind, there’s no question which one is better.
Man up!
