The Past is the Past, Live for Today

There’s a young couple that I know that inspired this post.  They know who they are.  The idea came up the other day when speaking to them, that although her past was rocky and riddled with struggle, pain and sin, that he is strong enough, as a man, to move beyond what happened in her past.  He is being a TrueMan.  She is striving for holiness and he sees that.  He encourages her, builds her up, helps her to know that she is great and a wonderful daughter of God the Father.  He is encouraged and challenged by her lifestyle, and that makes him better.  He realizes that her mistakes of the past are overcome by Christ’s sacrifice.  Although the emotional baggage can be difficult to work through, he knows it is well worth the fight.  His response could be much different.

Instead of being so loving, understanding and positive, he could choose to react harshly.  He could choose to end the relationship.  He could choose to be mean, hurtful and condescending.  If this was the method he took, he would be forgetting his own brokenness.  He would be forgetting the fact that he, as well as she and everyone else, needs the power of Confession and forgiveness from Christ.

I challenge all of my readers to take some time to think about your perspective of today.  Is today’s behavior based on mistakes from the past?  Are you unable to move forward because of pain from past choices?  Do you try to live today in order to right the wrongs from the past?  Is the past guiding your today too strongly?

Do you forget about today because of the promise of tomorrow?  Do you have an unhealthy assurance that you’ll be alive tomorrow?  Do your daily actions, choices, words and thoughts warrant Heaven as a reward of a good and faithful servant?  These questions, and so many more, are important.  Our attitude is a vital part to our lifestyle.

If we see the past as “fixable”, or today as a waste, or tomorrow as the only thing to live for, then we are missing the boat.  We’re called to holiness in every moment of today.  This moment may be our last, so we must live it to the full.  The past is the past, live for today.

Man up!

Put Them First

It’s really easy to get busy with lots of things in life and, consequently, push our wives and children to the back burner.  I want to challenge you to guard against this.  If you’re not a husband or father yet, you can apply this to the important people in your life currently, but keep it in mind for your future – that’s when it really counts.  How can a guy who’s so busy with work, taking care of the house and vehicles and working on other projects manage to put his wife and kids first?  Simple – It’s a choice.

With everything in life, you have to choose.  Don’t just talk, act.  Don’t just wish, make it fact.  It’s rewarding to know that my children know me, love me and learn from me – daily.  In my life, here’s what I do to guard against pushing them out of the first spot:

I take every opportunity to be with them.  This might mean feeding them, changing their diapers and/or putting them to bed at night.  Whatever it is, I make an honest effort, daily, to do it.  [As often as possible, I do the “extra” or “other” stuff when they are napping or asleep.]

I make myself present to them… that means that I’m interacting with them, reading to them, playing with them, holding them, kissing and hugging them, etc.  This involves shutting the TV off and being actually present.  This doesn’t mean simply being in the same area as they are.

I take every opportunity to be with my wife.  If it can be with her and the kids at the same time, that’s what I prefer, but obviously, alone time is crucial.  A strong marriage, between faithful, committed spouses, is a perfect example to children and one that can’t be replaced.  It’s crucial to spend the alone time together to work on the foundational relationship within the family unit.

It’s easy to talk a big game.  It’s Truly Manly to back it up with your actions.

Man up!