Four Days For Fathers – Day 2

Ok… considering that (because you read last post – hint hint, wink wink) we’re now working on the relationship aspect of Father’s Day with our dads, here are some gift ideas that may be a little “out of the box”.  Not everyone is going to like all of these, so just try something if it catches your eye.  These gifts might help with building the relationship…

1. Do something with your father that he enjoys.  (This does not include watching television.)  Quality time.
2. Get two copies of a book on a topic that will interest your dad.  Read it and discuss it with him.
3. Share your favorite memories with your dad by writing them down in a journal/book and then give him the journal.
4. [If you have the means…] take your dad on a surprise vacation.  Maybe to the country where his family is from? Or a place he’s always wanted to visit?

Whatever you decide to do for your dad on Father’s Day, make it more than just about the gift.  Make it about him, about your relationship with him and about the important things in life.  I realize that some of you are estranged with your dad.  If that’s the case, I recommend taking the high road (when appropriate) and rectify.  Apologize for what you have done to make the situation bad and then accept any apology that may be given.  I also realize that when parents and their children become estranged, the situations are always complex and may take more than a simple apology.  The common link that all of the situations that have been rectified have in common… they all, at the very least, started somewhere.

TrueMan up!

Four Days For Fathers – Day 1

I was asked a question today: “What’s a good gift to get a dad on Father’s Day?” Before I had a chance to answer, the small group ofpeople I was speaking with went around with ideas. One guy said “I always get my dad some joke gifts”, another said “My dad likes gadgets”. Another mentioned that their dad really likes to grill so grill accessories are a Father’s Day favorite for their family. One guy mentioned that he waits until his sister tells him how much money he owes her for his portion of the gift that year. Finally, I said “I don’t need anything, so my perfect gift would be a relaxing day with my family.”

I didn’t realize until after the conversation that there’s a huge problem with Father’s Day and it was made very clear to me when I started thinking about the question again. The same problem occurs with lots of other holidays. We all know what the problem is, but by our actions, we perpetuate the problem. What could possibly be the problem with Father’s Day? Materialism. We make this day of celebrating Dads about what we get them, not about them, or spending time with them, or actually investing in them. Fathers should have relationships with their children. Relationships can’t be successful if they’re only about what each person buys for the other. This all sounds so obvious, but I think in our fast paced world we fail to remember what the purpose of days like Father’s Day are all about.

If I could urge you to do one thing this Father’s Day… I suggest that you spend time thinking about how you can make your relationship with your father better. If you have a great relationship with your father already, think about how you can grow closer together by helping others. If your relationship with your father isn’t where you want it to be, then think about how you can grow closer. Maybe start by making a phone call, writing a letter (on paper) or stopping by.

If you’re a father, think about how you can make your relationship with your children better. You’re the father, so act like it.

Now, please understand that I don’t think that gift giving is sinful, or bad, or negative in-and-of-itself. It’s a nice thing, and we all enjoy receiving thoughtful gifts. I just think Father’s Day has to be about more than trinkets, gadgets, grill accessories or neck ties.

TrueMan up!