REPOST – Back to Campus

Repost from August 2009, with a few additions, for the college-aged young men out there…

With most schools starting recently (or soon), I thought it would be good to address some issues about how a TrueMan behaves on campus.  A college campus, as we all know, can be a hostile place for an ardent follower of Christ.  It can be a treacherous minefield of explosive situations, abusive and vulgar language, uncomfortable environments, and disagreements with unbelievers.  In order to deal with these difficult issues, here are a couple suggestions.

• Be yourself.  If you love and serve God, don’t be ashamed of it.  Live it out, your witness will come through – people will want what you have.
• Don’t give in to negative peer pressure.  Negative peer pressure is stupid… Real friends don’t force you into bad situations and surely don’t lead you into sin.  We call these people “nasty friends”.  If you’ve got ’em, get rid of ’em.  Don’t ruin your life holding on to people who are ruining theirs.
• If you are struggling, and think that you’ve got it bad or that you’re really suffering for the increase of the Kingdom, read about St Paul in 2 Corinthians 11/12.  That’s some good perspective, huh?!
• There’s a big difference between being a strong Catholic man who stands for something good as compared to a “culturally manly” guy who wants the “glamorous” lifestyle of money, power, women and stuff.  College campus life increases these bad desires exponentially.
• Many women on your college campus won’t understand the chivalry you extend to them.  Do it anyway, with charity and a smile.  Be a radical change on your campus.
• Being a TrueMan doesn’t mean you can’t have anything to drink, or that you can’t go to any parties.  It means that you put yourself in good situations, that point you towards heaven and you act in moderation and with prudence.  Remember, Jesus hung out with sinners, but not when they were sinning.  (*Keep in mind that a TrueMan abides by the law, and whether you agree with the drinking-age in the US or not, it is the law.  A TrueMan wouldn’t risk it.  If you’re underage, just say no.)
• Strive for excellence in all things.  Start by being sober and chaste.  If you conquer these two areas, you’re well on your way.
• As much as it seems untrue, women don’t want to marry the dirtball, drunkard, C-minus-student types.  They want a gentleman, a man who’s going to provide for them, a man who loves them and shows their love by respecting them and by being self-sacrificing.  They want a man who is going to be a great dad and a hard worker.  There’s nothing wrong with stacking the deck on this topic!  Put all the cards in your favor from the get-go!

All in all, college is a great time for a young man.  Live it up.  Enjoy it.  In all things, be focused on Christ, live virtue and especially, live joy.

TrueMan up!

Being Daddy on Vacation

I apologize for the long delay between posts.  Since I’ve started this blogsite, I haven’t had a break this long between articles, so thanks for bearing with me. 

I’ve been on vacation with my girls, far away from most of civilization at a great lake in (the middle of) the middle-of-nowhere Montana.  It was great.

While on vacation, it’s important for a father to realize that he doesn’t stop being a Daddy or a husband.  It would have been easy for me to have wanted to stay on the ATVs all day, work on the sail boat, go out fishing or shooting or to hang out just with the other guys.  It would have been easy to neglect my wife and children and do what I wanted to do.  Instead, I made the choice to put them first, and to put my selfish desires to the side.  I ended up having plenty of time on the ATVs (which, by the way, were incredible… see above picture) because I took the girls with me.  I made the loving choice to keep my priorities in line.  We had lots of time together playing, having fun, flying kites, going for walks, playing games and eating like kings and queens. 

It’s also easy (anytime really, but especially on vacation) to neglect my wife.  I strive to make her my top priority, but sometimes I struggle at showing her in the way the she needs to hear it or see it through my actions.  Vacation throws a wrench in everything because a guy is out of his element.  It’s not easy to be romantic, thoughtful or sensitive when there are lots of other adults and children running around.  That’s why its important to think ahead, to plan and to be strategic about the little things.  The little things, especially when it’s out of the normal operating area (home), go a really long way with women.  You know what else goes a long way with women?  When their husbands go out of their way to make special time for their children.  Now, before someone jumps down my throat for being insensitive and seeming like I’m saying that a father should only do what he should because it’ll keep the Mrs. happy and off his case, let me assure my readers that I’m simply saying that wives love their husbands for many reasons… one happens to be when a husband takes special time to be with his children.  I’m also not saying that a husband/father shouldn’t have time with the guys, or doing fun things.  I’m saying that those events can’t be the priority.

So, as you go on your summer vacations, keep in mind that it’s not about you.  It’s about your wife (she’s your best friend, by the way), your children and family time.  Think ahead and make the choice to love.

Man up!

A Dating Tip, or Two

The other day, I posted the “Superman Dates” video clip.  I got a little bit of feedback on it, and felt like it was important to talk about some other aspects of dating, for both ladies and guys.

Ladies: what I am about to say is always true, in every situation, no matter what.  YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST.  You do.  You deserve a man who respects you, who serves you, who cherishes you, who believes and demonstrates that there is no one more important or special for him and you deserve a man who puts his full energy and attention into your relationship.  If he doesn’t, then he’s not good enough for you.  Plain and simple.  If he doesn’t care enough to do the little things in a dating relationship, why would anyone ever expect him to start caring when you are married?  Or when times get tough?  Or when you have kids?  The little things he does/doesn’t do while dating are foreshadowing his future behavior. 

It’s also vitally important that you set you standards high, from the beginning.  If you wait until you’re in a relationship to create a list of “must haves” it will be incredibly difficult to see beyond the emotion, history and investment of your current relationship.  Once you create your list, don’t stray from it.  (Add to it, but don’t stray from it.)  If you grow, mature and change as a person, your list can change with you, as long as it’s what best for you and your future.

If all the women in the world increased their standards (and wouldn’t compromise on them) it would force men to change their behavior.  Now, I’m not saying that it’s the fault of females that men can be bad in relationships or in society or that they don’t know what it means to be a TrueMan.  What I’m saying is that if women were to have a standard and keep it, that men would have to check their crass, immature, childish, destructive behavior at the door and make positive choices to raise themselves up to be worthy of dating a woman.  Ladies, you hold the power to make your future bright by choosing a man that deserves you because you know that you deserve the very best.

Guys: I’ll most likely get into our part of the dating world in upcoming posts, but for now, read through the ladies’ section and check yourself.  If a woman had a list, would your actions, choices and behavior warrant you being selected as “sufficient”?  If not, think about things you can do to change so that when “the one” comes along, you’re ready to treat her like your queen.

Man up!