What Makes Porn So Bad?!

So last post (Porn Gone Mobile) I said that I would talk about why porn is so bad.  The totality of the answer can’t fit into this post, so here’s what I’ve got for you today.  A great number of people, even those who do not currently look at, use, buy or sell porn, believe that there is nothing wrong with porn.  This is a sign of a culture that has completely lost its moral compass.  Not only has the moral compass been lost, it has since been replaced with a compass (better stated as a philosophy) that is so far from the truth that it actually denies that absolute truth exists!  This philosophy… moral relativism.  Relativism states that all things are relative.  If you really believe that the composition of the stuff that makes up the ocean is not H2O, but actually H3O7, then in relativism, H3O7 is “truth for you”.

Sure, that’s a silly example, but it can be extended onto any philosophical issue… any issue related to morals, ethics, virtue, choices, life, death… you name it.  You may believe that abortion isn’t murder of a human life, but that doesn’t make your belief true.  The problem with moral relativism is, well, everything.  It denies the absolute truth and leaves everything for the individual to determine.  Not a good place to start.  If relativism is true, then what Christ did on the cross doesn’t matter.  If relativism is true, then God isn’t the ‘unmoved Mover’.  If relativism is true, then there’s no definition to what manliness is.  So…

That brings us back to porn and why it IS so bad.  It’s not that porn is only bad for me and for some other select group of people.  It’s not that I’m ‘trying to force my morality on someone’.  It’s not that only certain kinds of porn are bad.  It’s all intrinsically evil.  Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2354, states: “It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act… It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants… It is a grave offense.”  The production of, distribution of and/or the use of pornography damages the individual, causing them to enter into mortal sin, a total turning away from God.  It is a lie.  It is repulsive.

On another note, porn is intrinsically evil because it destroys our brain’s ability to function properly.  When porn is viewed/used, a chemical bond is created.  The chemical involved is a hormone, called oxytocin.  Oxytocin exists in both males and females.  One of the most commonly known occurrences of oxytocin is in child birth.  It is one of the bonding agents between a mother and a newborn child – a very powerful bond.  Oxytocin is also released in sexual orgasm, thus creating a bond.  When the bond is based on a fantasy, ie porn, the bond is incredibly detrimental.  This false bond distorts the understanding of the sexual act.  Once the distorted bond is in place, often times, the bond continues to deteriorate.  Many men choose to allow this bond into their life and then wonder why real intimacy and actual giving of oneself in marriage is so difficult.

If you haven’t been exposed to porn, I urge you to do everything in your power to stay away from it.  Porn is just like meth… it only takes one time.  If you have been exposed to porn, it will continue to bond you to the fantasy, to the sexual act, to the addiction.  If you’re a single man using porn, the distorted bond will damage your relationships, it will be a stumbling block to finding the right spouse, it will become your motivation.  If/When you get married, it will cause you to be selfish in regards to intimacy with your wife, not to mention in day-to-day activities and interactions.  If you’re a married man using porn, I’m almost 100% certain that the intimacy with your wife is distorted by your addiction.  Not only does it distort your relationship with your wife, it distorts the relationship you have with your children, friends and co-workers.

The good news, as stated before many times, is that freedom from porn exists!  I’m walking proof.  I had these distortions in my life.  It takes a ton of hard work to get over them, as well as daily prayer, the Sacraments and God’s grace.  You can do it!  Get rid of the porn today!

TrueMan up!

Congratulations on Graduation Day, Thomas!

Today is a monumental day in the life of The Avolio Family, and for the family’s friends.  Today, Wednesday, December 16, 2009,Thomas Avolio is graduating from the United States Air Force Academy and will receive a commission as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Air Force.  Although many young men and women graduate from the Air Force Academy each year, none come anywhere close to measuring up to Thomas’ life.

In 2006, Thomas was hiking a mountain directly behind the cadet area, called Eagle’s Peak.  To summit Eagle’s Peak, the hiker must exert a significant amount of energy, which all becomes well-worth it once atop this hallowed peak; the view is marvelous.  For Thomas, the last time he hiked the mountain would change his life forever.

Due to a loss of traction, Thomas took an incredibly vicious fall, falling 200 vertical feet.  His body was mangled, his limbs were broken.  Luckily, three young men were hiking below and rushed to his aid.  Thanks to their quick thinking and previous first aid training, they were able to stabilize Thomas and call for help.  Hours and hours went by as authorities attempted to save his life.  Flight for Life was called in and flew Thomas to a local hospital.  With the loss of blood, the trauma to his brain and the severity of his injuries, the doctors showed almost no signs of hope.  However, in an incredible miracle directly from God, Thomas managed to fight for his life.

I was present for a great deal of Thomas’ recovery.  I visited him in the hospital, spent countless hours praying and offering Mass for his recovery and spent many long days with his family at the hospital.  It appeared, early on, that Thomas would be devastated by the fall and that he would rely on machines, apparatus and other’s loving care to make it in life.  At this point, it was a real-life miracle that he was even alive.  All the odds were against him, but Thomas had a different plan.  From the first time that Thomas came to (out of his coma) and was able to coherently think and talk, he spoke of returning to the Academy one day and becoming an officer, as he had dreamed of in the past.  His determination was strong and fierce.

Although it took lots of time in rehab and time learning how to talk, walk and think, Thomas never said can’t.  He demonstrated an amazing attitude, something we can all learn from and strive to possess.  Today, Thomas is proving that hard work, determination and prayer can get us through anything.

Thomas is a TrueMan.  He is a man of deep faith.  He strives for holiness.  He works on living virtue.  He shares his life with those around him.  Thomas, keep up the great work, my friend.  You deserve many blessings.  Way to Man up!