A Father Breaking the Cycle

Often times, what I blog about are bad experiences that I have of males who aren’t holding up their end of the deal in society.  Typically, they’re making bad decisions, exemplifying “cultural manliness” and slacking on being a TrueMan.  Today, I’m going to change things up and speak about a man that is Breaking the Cycle.

This TrueMan is a national hero, a firefighter who has unselfishly put himself in harm’s way to protect others for well over 20 yrs.  He is a Captain at a well-known Marine base near Washington D.C.  He influences the young men in the firehouse, not only in the ways of firefighting, but also in life.  The biggest impact he has though (not at all to discount his years of service nor his honors & accolades) is the impact he has on his family. 

The father of three, this TrueMan knows well that a father’s impact is long lasting and the most important relationship in the lives of his children. 

This man had a childhood with a father that was a workaholic.  To quote him, “My Dad didn’t have 5 minutes for me, a year.”  Not only did the father neglect his only son, he was abusive and left physical scars to prove it.  In speaking with him the other day, he said something that really struck me.  He said “I won’t be like my father was. Not a a chance.”  It struck me not only because he’s breaking the cycle of what his father showed him, but because he means it.  He’s convicted, in the deepest part of his heart, to give his children the attention, devotion and love that he never received.  It’s not out of spite or out of pity, it’s out of love.  The love he has for them resonates deeply with me because his children are my godchildren, and needless to say, are very important to me. 

I could continue on for many more paragraphs, but I think my point is easy to understand and doesn’t require repeating.  By the way, he’s a great husband too.

Thank you, Captain TLW.  You’re a great man. 

Man up!

Always Being Watched

A TrueMan realizes that he’s always being watched.  He realizes that he’s always in the microscope of someone else… either trying to learn from him or trying to pick apart his actions, words, attitudes, reactions and leadership.  How does a man deal with this pressure?  How does a man cope with the daunting task of never messing up?  The answer, in this case, is not simple.  The answer is a unique answer for each and every man out there, because each and every man has a different demeanor, perspective, outlook and characteristics.

Here’s a few things to remember that might make it easier:

1. Be yourself.  If you’re really striving to be a man, you’ll succeed here.  Strive for virtue and keep your eyes on Christ.
2. Be concerned, each and every day, with being better and better.  This might include professionally, personally, spiritually, physically, etc.  If you are always striving for perfection, your mind is always geared towards success.
3. Think.  Thinking prevents many bad choices throughout the day – do it.
4. Pray.  A man of prayer is grounded in Christ – this helps you see clearly to make the tough decisions and to always stand strong.
5. Be humble.  People are waiting to pick apart any little piece of you they can… why give them any reason to be right?  Be relentless in humility.

There’s a reality here that can really bite someone… if you fail in an area of your life, and someone who is watching you sees it, there’s a long road ahead to mend the impression that they now have of you.  First impressions are huge.  Continuing impressions are huge.  Also, please note that “failing in life”, here, means that you took a mistake to the extreme.  For instance: you’re the leader of a group of students against drunk driving and you get hit with a DUI.  Or, you speak about purity/chastity then get your girlfriend pregnant.  These are the types of failings that push people away, that encourage people to use the word hypocrite.  All in all, you can pick yourself up and move on, but the impact you have on others will be lasting.  Be smart, make good decisions.

Man up!