More Embarrassing Than Anything Else?

This story has been in the news a significant amount over the past 11 months or so, but I thought it good to discuss it here on, apparently, the last stage of the case.  Lawrence Taylor, former NFL Linebacker for the NY Giants, was indicted on several counts of sexual misconduct, prostitution, having sex with an underage female, etc. etc. in May of 2010.  (For the entire case file and details, google or youtube videos for more specifics.)  Yesterday, Taylor was in court for his sex offender hearing.

There are lots of details to this case, but I want to focus on his response on this FOX News show.  Watch it then read below.

If you watched closely, you may have seen some of the glaring problems that I saw.  For instance, LT tried to justify his actions.  He seemed to shrug off the gravity of his actions.  He attempted to answer several of the questions, but as he proceeded, he seemingly realized that his honest answer would “get him in trouble” at home with his wife and he backed off.  As he stumbled through his answers, you could tell from both his body language and his stuttering that he was trying to give the political answer instead of owning up to what he did.  (From the start, LT’s story changed.  Originally, he said he never had sex with the prostitute, a 16 year old girl.  Then he admitted to pieces of the story, then eventually, he admitted – after taking a plea deal – to all of the charges.)  LT, you should have been honest from the start.  Better yet, you shouldn’t have been looking to a pimp to find you a woman to fornicate with.

And, what’s the deal with “then it’s all clean”???  Prostitution isn’t clean.  It does mess with emotions, with the chemical makeup, with relationships.  It’s not clean at all.

And another thing… yes, some of us are trying to shut down the sex trafficking industry!  One by one, 10 by 10, whatever it takes.

And no, Mr. Taylor, not everyone goes to prostitutes.  In fact, most of us don’t.  Please don’t speak for the rest of us.

Beyond the first interview, (in part 2) LT talks about his 5 year old son.  He appears to believe that his son will be a better man because of what he (LT) has gone through.  Let me tell you something… it doesn’t work like that.  Little boys act like their daddies, whether good bad or indifferent.  For the bad daddies, unless someone, hopefully their daddy himself, intervenes and sets a better example, the little boy is prone to bad behavior.  That’s painting the picture with broad strokes, but it’s the statistics.

In the end, I’m not saying there’s no hope for this guy.  I’m not saying that he won’t make it through.  I’m not saying that he’s going to use prostitutes again, or that his son is hopeless, or that a conversion to our Lord isn’t possible.  What I’m saying, similar to what I said about Tiger Woods, is that men like this, who have loads of influence and power, are detrimental to manliness because of their lack of knowledge and implementation of virtue.

TrueMan up!

Celebrity Infidelity Scandals Linked to Pornography?

Here’s my latest article from iibloom.com…

There has been a great deal of drama in the tabloid news lately about celebrities engaging in infidelity. Almost every show, whether it be on cable, radio or online, has at least mentioned these stories, namely the Tiger Woods saga and the Jesse James saga. Society is caught up in the drama, wanting to know each and every piece to the puzzle. Society is enamored by the infidelity of these men, men who have an incredible scope of influence. 

The interesting aspect to these stories is that these men seemed to “have it all,” yet they show us that they are incredibly empty inside. These men had power, influence, riches, everything and anything money could buy, respected corporate endorsements, celebrity status, beautiful children and incredible wives; what was missing that they had to act out in sexual infidelity? I will venture a possible scenario: could it be that these men have/had an addiction to pornography? This assertion may seem off-base and farfetched at first glance, so please allow me to explain.

When a man has an addiction to pornography, his body becomes programmed to search out the next sexual-fix, similar to someone who is addicted to a chemical drug. As this man continues to ascertain more and more fixes, he becomes desensitized to “the little things” and desires more and more, lowering his guard and accepting acts, thoughts and/or fantasies that he may once have been opposed to. The only way to fulfill these desires is to act on them, which may lead to promiscuity, secrecy, infidelity and increased sexual behavior. At the heart of an addiction to pornography is selfishness, a selfishness that disregards responsibility, relationships and ultimately, God. Could it be, then, that Tiger and Jesse were involved in the use of pornography leading up to and during their marriages, which includes their sexual exploits?

It’s not the same for every man…

Simply being a celebrity does not mean that someone is a good role model. So often in society, the media portrays men and women of celebrity stature to be role models. The portrayal seemingly stems from their time in the limelight. If people are interested in you, then obviously you are qualified to be a role model. (Wrong.) The more someone is discussed on TMZ, Extra or YouTube, the more their proverbial stock rises. A celebrity’s stock may rise because they just won an award for a great role in a movie, or because they were just awarded MVP of their sport, or possibly because of a charity event they sponsored that raised money for a worthy cause. However, a celebrity’s stock may also rise if they’ve been arrested, are getting a divorce or have just entered “rehab.”

The scope of influence that a celebrity has, especially celebrities like Tiger Woods and Jesse James, is astronomical. Young children, and even grown men, alter their lifestyles to be more like these kinds of guys, all because their lifestyles look glamorous. When the glamour fades away, and the truth is exposed, we see clearly the emptiness and hurt that remains.

“Maybe NOT ‘Just Do It’ Like Nike Says”

If you’re not familiar with the “world’s greatest athlete” Tiger Woods, you have probably been living under a rock for the past 10 years or so.  Actually, you were probably dead under that rock.  Tiger, besides being an incredible, dominating force on the golf course, is highly endorsed by corporate sponsors.  Living the good life, you could say.  (Living the “cultural manliness” life, I would say.)

Recently, Tiger has been in the news everyday, and not just the sports news.  He’s been on every show that has anyone talking on it… TV, online, radio.  Literally, ever single show.  And don’t forget the newspapers, magazines and tabloids.  He’s been in the news because of some very poor decisions he’s made.  Those decisions finally caught up with him and now the “$#!) is hitting the fan”, as they say.  Tiger was “caught” by his wife in an affair, details of which are still speculation and may never become known fact in full.  What is known is some of Tiger’s interaction with a NY cocktail waitress… listen in to Tiger’s voicemail as he attempts to grovel his way out of his mistakes.  Here’s a video about this whole mess, please excuse the celebrity gossip feel and images…

Yesterday at the gym, I watched SportsCenter on ESPN and quite honestly, I was very disappointed in the coverage and even more so on the comments from Tiger’s golf colleagues – except Jesper Parnevik.  Parnevik and his wife set up Tiger and Tiger’s wife, Elin, and now, Parnevik is regretting his match-making.  He said some pretty impressive statements that don’t typically come out in the news.  I like what he had to say.  Check him out in this video clip.

One of the things that every show seems to harp on is whether or not this is any of our business, and they’ve continually reported that Tiger has requested privacy for himself and his family.  Let’s make it clear, you can’t separate the “good life”, the lime-light, the sponsorships and endorsements and then also expect the world to look the other way when you “make transgressions against your family” (quoting Tiger himself).  The whole world knows your business and that’s the way you liked it.  Just because you messed up, it doesn’t mean they’re going to stop following you.  Tiger, you asked for it, and no, the world isn’t going to give you privacy.  When you have the influence you have on  the world, you can’t take that responsibility lightly, as it appears you have.  Simply because you ask for privacy, doesn’t mean that you deserve it.  One golfer, Rocco Mediate (who one time had a 19-hole playoff with Tiger) said that “he simply made a mistake like the rest of the world, we all need to get over it.”  Mr. Mediate – the rest of the world doesn’t cheat on their spouses, only cheaters do.

Men and boys all over the world emulate you, Tiger.  They buy your products, dress like you, play your video games, hit your Nike golf balls.  They drive your Buick, they drink your “G”, they are in love with you.  You blew it and you blew it big time.  You were the world’s greatest athlete, a husband and father and now, you’re just another cheating deadbeat.  I’m with Jesper, I’ve lost all respect for you.  I know the world will probably forget about this in time and you’ll go back to being the world’s favorite (sort of like A-Rod, Kobe and others who have cheated and gone on to be world champions in their sports, with continuing success and more corporate sponsorships.)  I won’t forget Tiger, and a lot of other people won’t either.  You blew it.  You are not a TrueMan.

Man up!

The Power to Positively Effect Change

I don’t typically follow mainstream media, news or happenings, and I definitely don’t follow the NBA, so this story was interesting to me when I heard about it.  Recently, in an interview with Maxim Magazine, LeBron James (Team Captain of the Cleveland Cavaliers) was quoted, when asked “If there was one guy on the planet you could dunk on, who would it be?”, as saying: “If it doesn’t have to be a basketball player, George W. Bush. I would dunk on his [ass], break the rim, and shatter the glass.”  (LeBron is a known-supporter of Barack Obama.)

The friend who told me about this LeBron story wrote this to me in our correspondence: “Boston just beat the Cavaliers with King James and Shaq. After LeBron’s majorly inappropriate comment about wanting to dunk and shatter the backboard over Pres. Bush (more than any other person), I have lost respect for LeBron. How about dunking over Osama Bin Laden? In LeBron’s role model position, you just don’t show that kind of disrespect for the President even if you don’t like him. Not to mention, his poor sportsmanship in losing the playoffs last year… he wouldn’t shake hands after the game. Your manly opinion on this?“

In response, I wrote: “In my humble opinion, LeBron has no class, no leadership and an immaturity that rivals others.  He who, in his position, could effect MAJOR POSITIVE CHANGE on a global level. On a manliness scale, he’d rank very very low. No virtue = Not Manly.”

The reason I highlighted positive change (both in my response to my friend and in the title of this post) is because LeBron could bring about so much positive change in this world, simply because of his stature, his following and his presence in the media.  The trouble here, is that if you ask a fan of LeBron if he’s effecting positive change in the world, they’ll emphatically say “Yes!”  It’s a clouded judgment that some people can’t see past because he appears to be so influential and such a boost for the sport.  A TRUE boost to the sport would be challenging men to live virtuous, moral lives.

Just my $.02 today.

Man up!