The TrueManhood Podcast Episode 7 – My Confession

In the 7th episode of The TrueManhood Podcast, Dave makes his confession. Whether you’ve confessed recently or not, get there and do it! If you’re not Catholic and want to know more, contact Dave@TrueManhood.com.

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My Jesus Year

Jesus lived for 33 years.  During His time on earth, Jesus saved the world.  Pretty huge shoes to fill – impossible shoes to fill, actually.  I’ve just celebrated my 33^rd birthday.  During this, my “Jesus-year”… hopefully NOT my last year on earth… I will remain focused on true manhood.

During my life, I’ve been incredibly blessed.  I’m married to a great woman, the mother of my four incredible children.  I have, and have had many, a great job.  I’ve been to 49 of the 50 states in our spectacular country.  I’ve successfully completed 18 years of schooling.  I played college sports.  I’ve bought and sold homes and vehicles.  I’ve met countless numbers of awesome people, and have some of the world’s best friends.  I’ve spoken to thousands and thousands of people, been on numerous radio programs, and helped write a book.  Although these and so many others neat things have happened to me, none of it matters if I don’t attempt to fulfill God’s call for my life, the call to live true manhood.  It’s not about these worldly accomplishments; it’s about who I am and how I’ve lived.

Jesus was THE TrueMan.  Simply put, all that Christ did can be reduced to one simple concept… love.  That is the prevailing mark of a TrueMan… that he loves (verb).  In the most authentically masculine way, Christ loved.  That’s because He was, is, and always will be love.  This isn’t some lame modern-day version of teddy bears, glittery hearts, and boxes of chocolates.  This is the real version of love, to do the greatest good.  To give your life for your friends.  This is TrueManhood.

During this year, I pray that I’ll be able to grow as a husband first (my vocation), as a father, as a leader, and as an evangelist.  I also hope to accomplish some long-standing goals for this ministry.  To follow in Christ’s footsteps and make this year the best it can be.  My impact won’t save the world, but I hope that it, in even a small way, is able to positively influence the lives of men.  One of my goals is to expand TrueManhood’s retreat ministry.  I also have the goal of expanding our scope and reach, gaining back ground that was lost between 2011-2013.  The problems we discuss here are numerous, and there aren’t enough positive voices out there in this fight.  We’ll keep doing what we do, hopefully with “bigger and badder” videos, more impactful content, more frequent posts, more guest contributors, and a wide-array of resources to help men along their journey towards TrueManhood.

Regardless of how old we are, brothers, we are called to TrueManhood.  This call is something special, and the world depends on us to live up to the call.  As I go into my Jesus year, I’m praying for many things, but specifically, my prayer would be this: “Jesus, my Lord.  I love you.  Thank you for your example to me for what it means to be a man.  I ask for guidance, strength, discipline, and courage to pursue TrueManhood with my whole soul.  May my efforts be yours, may my will be yours, may my heart be yours.  Amen.”

TrueMan up!

Evangelizing a Man

The work of evangelization is a requirement for attaining TrueManhood.  Each man must come to fulfill the Great Commission, when Christ demanded that His disciples “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them all that I have commanded you.  And lo, I am with you always, even until the end of time.” (Matt 28:19-20.) This wasn’t the “Great Suggestion” – it is an obligation, an order, a must.

For men who are fathers, our children automatically become our disciples.  This is a huge task, and a mighty responsibility.  I’m not necessarily speaking about this directly in this post, although it may pertain to grown male children, to some extent.

In order to evangelize, we must ourselves be evangelized.  What does the word “evangelization” even mean?  What is it?  There are numerous ways we can think about evangelization – in terms of the definition, the time, place, and style, the programs, the books, the techniques, the strategies, and so forth.  That can become pretty complicated, and for our purposes somewhat unnecessary, so I suggest we break it down to a baseline understanding.  Evangelization = Jesus Christ.

When you hear or see the word, or encounter the concept of evangelization, your mind should automatically go to Jesus Christ.  You should consider who He was, what He did, why He did it, and how it impacts all we do.  It’s not rocket science, it’s really not.  Evangelization is coming to know the person of Jesus Christ.  When we know the person of Jesus Christ (once we’ve been evangelized – encountered Jesus) we are changed.  We are held to a higher standard.  What a great concept for men… to be challenged and held accountable to the highest standard!  How masculine!

How, then, do we go about evangelizing men?  Well, unfortunately, many of us simply don’t.  We fail to take the opportunities to talk to men in our lives, or men we encounter along the way.  We are timid, frightened, and lack gusto.  How a man might respond to us is enough to make us change how we speak, think, act, work, dress, and function.  It’s a powerful relationship.  Why, then, do we shy away from this if that relationship is so powerful?  Wouldn’t we want to make disciples from these powerful relationships?  I believe many don’t evangelize men because of fear.  Fear holds us back and prevents us from sharing who we really are.  Fear prevents us from sharing who Jesus is.  This is incredibly dangerous, because we’re failing to evangelize, not remaining true to the Great Commission, not proclaiming the Gospel, and failing to give a man all that he deserves (see ‘virtue of justice’ in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.)

I’m a firm believer that the best method for evangelization is through relationships.  Relational-Evangelization.  Creating relationships with folks is how we are able to learn about them, see who they are and what is beyond their outer façade, and how we are able to begin to gain moral authority (the right to be heard because we are trusted and respected by the other person.)  Once we gain moral authority with a person, we are able to speak into their lives, with meaning and purpose.  When it comes to the men in our lives, having moral authority with them is essential.  For many men, they need proof before they’ll listen to you.  The proof they want to see is that they can trust you.  Hurt caused by lack of trust (or loss of trust, once gained) is a major wound in the lives of many men.

For others, they want to see what you’re made of.  They want to see how hard you work, how tough you are, or whether or not you back up what you say.  Backing up what you say has to be done with actions, bringing in another important aspect to evangelizing men.  If you and I live as though what Jesus said was true, there will be something about us that is different (radically different) from the world.  Men whom we have relationships with will see this.

Living as a TrueMan in our world today is so important.  If we can achieve this – striving to live virtue, to be as Christ is – we will have great success in our evangelization, and through that, work to spread the Good News.  If we gain the men, we will gain the women and children as well.  Where men go, so goes the world.  May it all be for His glory!

CHALLENGE: consider a man in your life that doesn’t know Jesus Christ and begin to pray for him.  Pray too for the opportunities to evangelize this man through your actions and words.  Be open to the chances that are presented and be bold.  There are countless ways to evangelize, but doing nothing is not one of them.

TrueMan up!

Catholic Eucharistic Flash Mob

Did you see this?  A Eucharistic “Flash Mob” put on by some Franciscan brothers and volunteers on Ascension Thursday.

Very courageous and SO NEEDED!

Let us not be afraid, let us not cower, let us not be afraid of theculture.  Jesus is the way, the truth and the life!

Thank you to Brother Paul, Brother Loarne and to those who courageously stepped up and stood strong for the Truth!

TrueMan up!

Father’s Day Novena

It’s a little late for you to join in the prayers during this novena to St. Joseph, but I encourage you to visit the Father’s for Good site to view the reflections from several men about fatherhood and living as St. Joseph (the Foster Father of Jesus) lived.  It’s great stuff and I’m glad to have been a part of it.  Sorry it’s coming late… we were just out “Into the Wild” and had a great experience.  For more information on Into the Wild, visit www.IntoTheWildWeekend.com.

This project was spurred on by the team at Maximus Group, a Catholic marketing firm who is promoting a new movie called Courageous that is coming out in September.  I’ve pre-screened the movie and it is awesome.  More on Courageous to come.

Listen to Mark Houck, Jesse Romero, Steve Pokorny, Bill & Billy Moyer, Chad Faddis and me as we share our thoughts on the great man-saint, St. Joseph.  What a TrueMan!

Click HERE to go to the Fathers For Good website.

My Next 30 Years

This weekend is the last weekend of my twenties.  I’m sort of indifferent about “getting older” – on the one hand realizing that all the aches and pains, the heartburn and the receding hairline are realities and on the other, being excited to move into another chapter with my wife and children and in my professional career.

When I look back at my twenties, so many things come to mind that were instrumental in my journey to get to where I am today.  I desire so strongly to be the man that God created me to be, a TrueMan.  I’m not there yet; I’ve got much more to work on.  Considering where I was and where I am now, I’m proud of my last 30 years and I’m ready for my next thirty years.

In my twenties… I left and returned to my faith and the One, True Church instituted by Jesus.  I have been blessed by God abundantly.  I was blessed to meet and marry my best friend – God has since blessed us with three incredible children. I graduated from undergrad and graduate schools.  I changed jobs many times  – I think I had about 15 different jobs in the last 10 years.  At one point, I had only $85 in my checking account and my stuff amounted to about $500.  I was laid off twice.  I moved eight times.  I bought or sold 6 different vehicles.  I learned a ton – mostly about myself and the things that I want to change and be better with.  It hasn’t been a super smooth ride.  There have been many bumps and bruises along the way, but I find myself coming out of my twenties a much better man then when I entered.

I realize, more and more each day, that I don’t know that I’ll live for another 30 years.  I might, I might not.  I might live for many more than that.  What I know is that I live life to the fullest and do my best to be a witness for Jesus everyday.  I hope that comes through clearly in my personal and spiritual life, in my family life, in my professional life, on TrueManhood and in every other setting.

TrueMan up!

*A little funny… I found the above exit sign and thought it was pretty ironic – at mile marker 20, on the exit, which is 20 MPH, towards 30 to the east.  Out of 20 towards 30.

Vince DeStefano – Movement of My Heart in Words

My friend and fellow TKM brother, Vince DeStefano, sent me this small excerpt of something he wrote while he was praying this morning.  Vince is real – he’s a TrueMan in every sense of the word, and he’s sincere.  He’s a great man, a great husband, a great father and a great friend.  He’s incredibly generous and humble.

Regardless of what your sin is, read through this and put yourself in the place of “I”.

“Lost in a deep thicket, hidden in an unknown forest, I cry out in desperation.  Christ approaches me directly,cutting through material with pure light and creating a straight path in his wake.  He reaches me, and I feel intense shame and unworthiness.  I plead to him, and though He remains wordless in reply I understand that my sins encumber me, realizing now that my feet are tangled in the brush.  Christ turns and walks back from whence He came, taking with Himself the brilliance yet leaving an illuminated path, still straight, and seeming to implore me to determine the nature of the weeds which entangle my feet in order to destroy them and then fully pursue my purpose. While of course wishing to remain in His intense light of reprieve from temporal encumbrance, I’m left with renewed Faith, Hope, and compelling Love, filled with eagerness and determination to tear myself from Satan’s thorns and run after my Savior.”

TrueMan up!

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