Recapture Value in True Manhood

I saw this story because it’s a “buzz” word for me… my alerts send me anything that talks about “true manhood” on the internet.  I think it’s worth reading, so I posted it.  Although I don’t agree with everything Mr. Flurry says and does, I believe his take on where to find the definition to true manhood is in Scripture and that Christ is the perfect example of manliness for us.

July 21, 2010 | From theTrumpet.com by Gerald Flurry

Men today are suffering from gender confusion. Our society is now full of “soft”—and unhappy—males. Men’s encounter groups are springing up all over the world to help men deal with their intense sadness. Some are beating drums and dancing war dances to recapture their true manhood. What is true manhood anyway?

 Unfortunately, as writer Robert Bly puts it, we now live in the age of the “soft male.” In the early ’90s, he expressed his concerns about American men in a book titled Iron John, which contains some astute observations.

Mr. Bly states: “The male in the past 20 years has become more thoughtful, more gentle. … He’s a nice boy who pleases not only his mother but also the young woman he is living with. … But many of these men are not happy. You quickly notice a lack of energy in them. They are life-preserving but not exactly life-giving. Ironically, you often see these men with strong women who positively radiate energy. Here we have a finely tuned young man, ecologically superior to his father, sympathetic to the whole harmony of the universe, yet he himself has little vitality to offer” (pages 2-3).

Today, many men, young and old, have become confused as to what it means to be a man. Many are perplexed on how to behave in marriage, in the family or in society. To put it simply, men are suffering from serious gender confusion.

Our Upside-Down Society

What has caused gender confusion?

The women’s movement has led the pack in creating new roles for both sexes. Having almost complete access to a liberal press and television, the feminist movement has wielded considerable influence over the massive social changes taking place the last several decades. The traditional roles for men—leader, husband, father, provider, and protector—have become the focal point of criticism and ridicule in newspaper articles, books, movies and TV sitcoms. The “Dagwood” cartoon is a perfect example of such ridicule. Mr. Bumstead is portrayed as a bumbling idiot who must always be bailed out by a bright, intelligent—always on target—wife.

The Prophet Isaiah wrote this about our current social values: “Woe unto them that seek deep to hide their counsel from the Lord, and their works are in the dark, and they say, Who seeth us? and who knoweth us? Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter’s clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding” (Isaiah 29:15-16). Isaiah criticizes our leaders—the men and women who influence our culture—by showing they are guilty of turning things upside down. “Upside down” is an apt description of our society and its values. It is a perfect description of many of today’s marriages and families. The new roles carved out for men and women today are not as God designed them to be.

But, the feminist movement does not share all of the blame for the plight of today’s men. There are several other conditions that are contributing to our “soft male” syndrome. The truth is, men have had their own part in creating this problem.

Women Rule Over Them

The majority of today’s families are suffering from absentee fathers. Because of selfishness, either as career pursuits or just plain pleasure-seeking, many men are shunning their responsibilities at home. How many fathers have allowed themselves to become mere shadows in the family? Think about this scenario. Tonight, how many homes will have a father either sleeping on a couch or absorbed in a sports program on TV, while the wife is assisting the children with homework or other activities? Far too many!

Men are capitulating their role as leader, energizer, and influencer to their wives. Our sons (and daughters) are growing up without a father actively involved with and guiding their young lives. Many wives have been forced to be both father and mother. Today’s sons are growing up under a heavy feminine influence. Many men have become soft because they are not being properly taught how to be men.

One other factor contributing to the effect of “soft males” is our high divorce rate. This has produced a large number of female-dominated, single-parent families. In other words, too many sons are growing up without any male role model in the home. Isaiah also wrote of our time, “As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths” (Isaiah 3:12).

Think about this scripture. God holds heavy criticism for our modern society. God is upset with us for allowing children to oppress us and women to rule over us. But who is God upset with? Who is at fault? Certainly today’s women. We do now live in a female-dominated society. God says that this is definitely in error. However, it would be too easy to just place all the blame on today’s women. Shouldn’t we also criticize men for giving up their leadership role to women? Yes—a resounding, yes!

Combine all of these factors together: the feminist movement, the media ridicule of men, the lack of strong male role models, female-dominated families, and it becomes easy to see why we have “soft males” that must turn to mother for help when they face a crisis!

Although some thinking people recognize the weaknesses in today’s men, they do not realize the somber consequences if the problems are not corrected quickly. Robert Bly feels that men are just experiencing another saga in our evolution. But man is not a product of evolution. We cannot evolve our way out of society’s tragic problems.

We must learn what God reveals about this so we can live faithfully according to His revealed knowledge about men and the role men must play in marriage, in family and in society. Our society no longer knows how to value real manhood. Many men are suffering great unhappiness as a result. This article will show you how to recapture value in true manhood.

Man the Head

God designed men and women to function a certain way for a tremendous spiritual purpose. God reveals in Genesis, “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:26-27). God’s supreme purpose is for men and women to be born into His own spirit Family. God planned this physical life to be the training ground for that eternal life. To qualify to live for eternity, men and women must first live as God devised physically. Modern men and women have rejected God’s revealed knowledge concerning the unique sex roles for men and women. A global disaster is about to strike this planet as a result. All mankind must learn to live as God intended. Human beings will never be happy until they live according to God’s revealed purpose. What does God reveal about His intended role for men?

Some scientists believe that the female evolved first. That piece of information does not square with your Bible. Paul instructed Timothy, “For Adam was first formed, then Eve” (1 Timothy 2:13). God created Adam first. Why? Was it because he was better? No. Adam was created first because God intended that he be the head, or leader, of the family. Paul explained to the Ephesians, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body” (Ephesians 5:23).

The man’s God-ordained role as leader of the family is markedly evident throughout the Bible. Paul stated it this way to the Corinthians: “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3). What does Paul mean when he uses the word head?

In these two verses Paul used the Greek word kephale for head. The Strong’s Concordance number for this word is 2776. Thayer’s shows that this word means “anything supreme, chief, prominent, of persons, master lord … of a husband in relation to his wife.” In today’s language we could use the word president, chancellor, prime minister, king or captain in place of head. In other words, Paul taught that Adam was given seniority over Eve. By extension then, married men hold seniority over their wives.

It is also interesting to note that kephale indicates that the headship must be seized, or taken hold of. Where do most men fail today? How did Adam fail? Adam failed by not taking hold of or seizing his God-given authority. Study for yourself the incident in Genesis 3. Although Bible scholars and today’s educators see Adam and Eve’s story as allegory, we must see it as divine revelation. Chapters 1 and 2 make it clear that Adam was the appointed leader, the one in charge. Eve was to be his helper (Genesis 2:18). But who took charge? Eve. She ate of the wrong tree and led Adam to do so. Adam sinned by eating of the wrong tree. However, he was not deceived into eating (1 Timothy 2:14). He allowed Eve to lead him into this sin. Adam allowed Eve to make the decision. By following Eve, he disobeyed God’s direct command to him alone (Genesis 2:16-17). Eve had not been created yet. Adam should have taught her God’s command. Who committed the greater sin? Clearly it was Adam.

Christ the Perfect Example

Some men fail today in marriage and family life because they will not take hold of or seize their God-ordained authority. Some men prefer that women assume the role of leader and decision maker. This is a serious sin before God. Paul wrote, “But I suffer not a woman … to usurp authority over the man …” (1 Timothy 2:12). Men must be careful not to fall into Adam’s sin. Women must learn not to repeat Eve’s sin. The lesson from Genesis is a tough one. When a man is weak or when a woman commandeers a man’s authority, tragic events take place. Generally, children suffer the most. Genesis records Adam and Eve’s tragic family problems that arose as a result of their sin. Remember, their firstborn son killed his brother. Adam and Eve’s decision to reject God’s revealed knowledge has brought much suffering into the life of mankind ever since.

There is another side to men’s problems with leadership. Those willing to lead have not known how to lead! When Adam and Eve ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they began to decide for themselves what was right and wrong. Cut off from God’s revelation, men have been experimenting with their authority ever since.

Since Adam’s time, most men have been trying to decide for themselves what leadership means. History is full of examples of wrong leadership. In past ages, men made women slaves—mere property. Even today, some men expect their wives to fulfill their every whim. Over time, men have been despotic tyrants, dictators, and absolute rulers who abuse power. This is not as God intended. If a man is considered a king, then his wife is the queen. Although a man and woman do not share equal authority, they should be equal in dignity. In our modern times, too many women and wives have been physically and verbally abused. God is going to severely punish men for committing such crimes.

How then should a man “seize” his authority?

Jesus Christ is the perfect example. Men should lead their wives as Christ leads the Church. Paul’s statement to the Ephesians is worth repeating here. “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body” (Ephesians 5:23). How does Christ lead the Church? He leads it by love and service! Men should lead their wives and families by loving and serving them. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (verse 25).

A man who is Christ-like in his marriage will exhibit outgoing concern for his wife and her welfare. It is true that a woman was created to be a man’s helper. But a husband who understands what it means to be a leader will lovingly serve his wife’s and family’s needs. Paul wrote the Colossians, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them” (Colossians 3:19). Christ takes care of the Church’s needs in love. A husband who has Christ’s character is kind, considerate, affectionate and giving. He does not treat his wife with bitterness or resentment.

Husband—Savior

As Head of the Church, Christ leads by saving it. Christ rescues, saves and helps the Church. A husband should also be a type of savior toward his wife. Jesus Christ has so much love for the Church that He willingly gave Himself for it as the supreme sacrifice. Jesus Christ gives instead of trying to get. The husband, as a leader, must follow Christ’s example.

As a type of savior, husbands have been given an exalted position. Men should not let that go to their heads. With this position comes grave responsibility. In referring to leadership, Christ taught the disciples, “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant” (Matthew 23:11). A husband must have the attitude of a servant toward his wife and family.

Jesus Christ said this of Himself, “Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). Jesus Christ did not “lord it over” the disciples. He does not “lord it over” the Church. He served the disciples and now serves the Church. Men should not “lord it over” their wives.

Many men have trouble with the words submission and authority. Some have fallen into the trap of thinking that they must make all of the decisions all of the time. Jesus Christ does not even do this with the Church (Matthew 16:19). God created women to help men in the decision-making process. There are many times when a wife’s input is necessary. There will be times when a husband and wife will disagree. This does not mean that the wife is rebellious. But both husband and wife should realize that Christ has given final authority in the decision process to the man. Men must use wisdom and outgoing concern when making decisions.

A husband must set the example in Christian character as well. Men must set the example in prayer, Bible study and fasting. Men should set an example of submission and obedience to God’s Word.

Husband—Provider

A husband must provide for his wife. In other words, he must rescue, help and save his wife physically. Every man naturally sees to his own needs. He must provide for hers as well. Paul instructed the Ephesians, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29). If we truly cherish our wives, we will see that they are nourished and taken care of physically.

Paul wrote Timothy, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Timothy 5:8). In comparison to a woman’s body, a man’s body and cell structure was designed to handle hard physical labor. Men were designed to be the providers.

As men, we should be hard working so that we can provide for the needs of our wives and family. Our society is full of men who are just too lazy to work. Too many men are on the take. They are leaving it to the government or other family members to provide for their families. Many women today are working outside of the home because their husbands are not.

Yes, economically it is very difficult today. Some families’ needs require that both husband and wife work. If there are small children at home, if at all possible, the wife should not work. Whether a wife works or not is a serious decision. If a wife goes to work because a husband will not, God says that man has “denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” That is a very serious condemnation.

What should a man do if he loses his job? He should work eight hours a day to get another job! Until he finds a job, he should also be willing to work several part-time jobs. What if a man cannot find a job in his area of training? He should seek the proper education or retraining to obtain a job. Having a good work ethic is a large part of developing strong Christian character in men. Some men in the Church in Paul’s day were not working as they should. Here is what he said to them: “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10 ).

Husband—Teacher

A husband has responsibility to provide for his wife’s spiritual development as well. Peter wrote, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). A man owes his wife honor and respect. He must provide for her physical needs. But he must also realize that she is an heir of eternal life. A man must ensure that his wife has the time and opportunities to attain the Kingdom of God.

The most significant job Christ performs as Head of the Church is that of teacher. “That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:26-27). Jesus Christ desires a bride who is beautiful because of righteousness (Revelation 19:7-8). Christ is going to ensure the Church’s future beauty through His teaching. He is washing it now through the His Word.

A man must also teach his wife. “And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church” (1 Corinthians 14:35). A husband should know his Bible well enough so that he can guide his wife and family spiritually. He should be ever watchful over the spiritual needs of his wife and family—making sure they have time to pray and study, to fast without interruption from himself or the children. He should take the time to patiently answer his wife’s Bible questions and conduct family Bible studies. Are we ashamed to do these things? Jesus Christ warns us, “For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father’s, and of the holy angels” (Luke 9:26). Great shame will come upon us men if we do not teach our wives and families.

No Drum Beating

Many men have become very unhappy with the state of men in this world. Men are beginning to recognize that being “soft” is not solving society’s problems. Some recognize that men and society need to understand true manhood. Men need to be men. Men’s encounter groups are springing up all over the world to attempt to deal with the intense loss and sadness that men are feeling about themselves. In these encounter groups, men beat drums and dance war dances to try to recapture their lost manhood. Some men’s groups are studying mythology to recapture true manhood.

But these methods will never work. The understanding of true manhood can only be found in the pages of your Bible. Let’s be men. Let’s recapture the value in true manhood. Let’s study our Bibles and ask God to make us the men we need to be! – END

“Womanpriests”, “Pope Joan”… and a side of PC

Lately, I’ve come across several stories, websites, conversations, etc. about ‘womanpriests’.  [Some of the websites claim to be in communion with the Roman Catholic Church.  They aren’t.  No matter their claims, they aren’t.]  One story is about a movie that’s out, exclusively in Europe right now, about the legend of a female Pope that lived during the 9th century.  This claim is unsubstantiated and completely fabricated.  One story, which I saw posted on Facebook, spoke of a ‘womanpriest’ from the St. Louis area who is pregnant.  “The first female Roman Catholic priest to be pregnant in history.”  What is the obsession with women being priests?!?!

I think the obsession is the false understanding of freedom in our culture, mixed with a heavy dose of moral relativism, topped with a false sense of equality… served with a side of PC.  In our culture, fairness has been turned into a “if they get one, I deserve one too” system.  Society completely distorts the understanding of gender, gender roles, equality, fairness and the intention of God in regards to gender and sexuality.  The world has turned everything into a competition and some people believe that in order to be considered ‘equal’, they must have the same opportunities as everyone else.  Think about that – it doesn’t make sense.

Why is it, that as soon as a man is allowed (created) to do something, some women automatically insist that they should be allowed to do the same?  The insistance includes many such things that are outside the scope of a woman’s role.  See, when a man is ordained a priest in the Catholic Church, he becomes the spouse of Mother Church.  Plain and simple.  No apologies here… politically correct or not.

Being politically correct is not Catholic.  It’s not charitable, it’s not what Jesus did, it’s not what we should do.  Being politically correct asks us to waterdown our faith, to become “tolerant” of everything that’s going on around us – whether morally acceptable or not.  No thanks.

As always, I’m not diggin’ on women.  I’m not trying to deify men.  What I’m saying is that we were each created for something great, as a man or as a woman.  Those things can be (and most likely are) different.

Stand up for the dignity of each person.  Respect life.  Respect what God created you for.  Stand up for Truth.  Stand up against the notion of tolerance.  Ruffle feathers, if that’s what it takes.  Christ wasn’t a fairweather prophet… He didn’t take the position of “acceptance”… See, what Christ did (which is what we are supposed to model our lives after) is that He loved sinners too much to allow them to stay where they were.

TrueMan up!

Catholic Men’s Conference at FUS

This past weekend, I attended a men’s conference at the Franciscan University of Steubenville.  I’d like to share a few thoughts from the weekend and a few challenges that correspond.

First off, we are all sinners.  No matter how long you’ve been involved in your faith, or how many ministry ‘things’ you attend, or the number of men you’ve spoken to at conferences or how old you are… we all have room to grow.  Keep working on getting better!  It’s a daily thing, not just a 60 minute thing on Sundays.

Secondly, the vast majority of the Catholic population doesn’t live for Christ.  They live for themselves.  We all must turn away from sin and have a conversion.  On Friday night of the conference, the evening’s speaker spoke of how St. Paul wrote about baptism.  The imagery that St. Paul used showed that the waters of baptism are not waters of life (as most believe), but actually waters of death.  These waters of death kill off the old self and require us to be born anew in Christ Jesus.  The coming out of the waters requires us to live differently.  This different way of life is radically different from what the world tells us life is all about.  The reward of this life is not of this world, but of life eternal with God in Heaven.

Lastly, I want to convey the incredible need for additional men’s ministry programs around the country.  We need to have a men’s ministry program everywhere and need to reach out to more men.  No one man can do it all.  So, if you are in an area that doesn’t have anything for men, then get started!  I can get you the resources needed to start small faith formation groups, or to start a men’s conference, or do to weekend retreats, or whatever it may be that you’re looking for.  The important element here… if there’s a need, then step up and fill the gap.

TrueMan up!

True Devotion to Jesus, Through Mary

Today is the feast day of St. Louis de Montfort.  St. Louis lived in the 17th and 18th centuries and his greatest contribution to the faith was that of perseverance in the face of critique and encouragement of the Church to be devoted to Jesus through Mary.  For many, this Catholic teaching is hard because they may see devotion to Mary as an unnecessary practice, and in some cases, as blasphemous.  Others may see devotion to Mary as something less-than-manly.  On the contrary!  Devotion to Mary, which St. Louis stressed in both writings, words and deeds, is the way to grow incredibly close to her son, our Lord, Jesus.  As men, we have a great deal to learn about obedience and can learn a lot from Mary’s example.

First, the Maryology… there’s too much that would go into giving a dissertation on Mary here, however, I will draw attention to her place in salvation history.  Mary accepted God’s will in her life and enthusiastically followed.  Through her ‘yes’, Christ came into the world.  Christ means King, and Mary therefore is the Queen Mother.  The Queen Mother sits with the King petitioning for His loyal servants. (1 Kings 1:19.)  By her ‘yes’, we reap the benefits of our Saviour.

St. Louis shows us that the theological virtues are the way to TrueManhood.  He set a great example for us to achieve the virtues of faith, hope and love.  The world attempts to tell men that these virtues are feminine and unnecessary.  Take a look at just about any piece of media and you will see a direct attack against these virtues.  St. Louis demonstrated great courage in the face of opposition and persecution to strive for faith, hope and love.

Lastly, a brief word of encouragement in regards to the Rosary.  Faithful Catholics don’t just ‘say’ the Rosary, we ‘pray’ the Rosary.  The Rosary is a mixture of reciting communal prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, etc.) AND a deep meditation (simultaneously, mind you) of the mysteries of the Rosary.  The mysteries point directly to Christ’s life and ministry, culminating in His saving work of dying on the cross for our sins – the greatest example of manliness we have!  Pray on!

The Rosary is our sword in the battle of Good vs. Evil.

TrueMan up!

Keep Fighting

Men, Whether you’ve been on the battle field for a long time or have just begun the fight, I want to encourage you to continue to fight! The devil is strategic in how he attacks you and a period of freedom (any amount of time) can at times play games with a man’s mind, allowing him a sense of “I’m done with this” – that’s called complacency.  No matter how long you’ve experienced freedom (1 day or 10 years), you can never let your guard down.  The path to holiness is paved by discipline and you must remain disciplined in order to successfully achieve holiness.  Holiness, a complete imitation of Christ, in Heaven is our goal.  If you’re reading TrueManhood for the first time, then you may not know what I’m talking about.  Here at TrueManhood, we directly attack the evils of the culture, one of those being a most grave evil – pornography.

For men who are reading this for the first time (or for someone who knows a man who has an addiction to pornography but hasn’t yet sought help), please visit the links posted below to get started in battling your addiction.  If you’ve already seen all these resources, it may be time to read them again.  Take back your life and strive for TrueManhood – a life of virtue in Christ Jesus.

• For “TrueManhood’s 5 Step Plan to Overcoming an Addiction to Pornography” Click HERE.
• To read other articles about the fight against pornography, type in ‘PORN‘ or ‘PORNOGRAPHY‘ in the search box towards the upper right.
• For Porn Addiction Resources, Click HERE.
• For “TrueManhood’s Guide to Virtue” Click HERE.
• To view videos of my talks against pornography addiction, Click HERE.
• For free anti-porn software, click HERE.
• If at anytime you need assistance with your battle, email me directly at Dave@TrueManhood.com.

TrueMan up!

True God and TrueMan

The Easter Triduum is an incredible celebration within our Church’s liturgical calendar.  The Triduum is the time from Holy Thursday until Easter Day, which includes so many incredible elements to our faith, such as: The Institution of the Eucharist at the Last Supper!  The Institution of the Priesthood, Christ humbling Himself (as our example, especially for men) as a servant-leader with the washing of the feet, Christ’s Passion, Christ’s death on the cross as the Paschal Lamb – the Passover fulfillment, and tomorrow, the celebration of His Resurrection!  What a rich and humbling tradition of redemption we have!

We should see Christ as our model.  He is the perfection of manliness.  He is all virtue.  He is sacrificial, even to the point of death.  He is a servant leader.  It is these characteristics that we should be striving for.  In the Divine Praises, we pray the following statement… “Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true man.”  This verse has become the tagline for our ministry here at TrueManhood (scroll down this page to see!), and for good reason.  We’re all asking the question, “what does it mean to be a real man?”  The answer lies with Christ.  When you get up in the morning, throughout the entire day, and again before you go to bed, I recommend that you immerse yourself in the life of Christ so that you can learn what He did while He walked this earth and also, so that you learn what He continues to do, as He sits at the right hand of the Father in Heaven.  This means, first and foremost, that you are praying continually!  A daily, fervent prayer life will aid you greatly.  [Don’t know how to pray?… shoot me an email and we’ll chat.  Dave@TrueManhood.com.]  Next, I recommend that you gaze upon Christ on the cross.  His sacrifice is there and present on the cross.  The image of Christ on the cross reminds us of what and who He is and why He did what He did for us, all of us.  Stare at Him.  Unite your suffering to Him.  Serve as He served.  Lead as he led.  Love as He loved.

I pray that your Lenten experience was fruitful this year.  Be aware that you can give up things (this is called fasting) anytime (not on Sundays)… it doesn’t have to be only during Lent.  Work to control your will, so that by saying ‘no’ in the little things, you can say ‘no’ to the big temptations.  Practicing what the Church suggests for us during Lent is good to continue throughout the entire year.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – Selfishness Impedes Service

My daughter has been sick for several days.  Because she is a toddler, it is difficult to really pinpoint what’s happening with her, what hurts and how to make her better.  I’ve been at a loss for exactly what to do, and although we’re trying, she doesn’t seem to be getting better.  At least not as fast I my wife and I would hope.  As I’ve been observing her and contemplating solutions to this problem, I realized something today… selfishness impedes service.  What do I mean?

When you’re in charge of someone else, and their entire well-being stems from your actions, it’s plain to see that they not only rely on you to make good decisions, but to be at their service.  This isn’t to say that I wait hand-and-foot on my children, but it means that my daughters, especially when ill, need me to be selfless in regards to them.  And, I want to be a servant-leader for my family and for the world, which requires me to continually learn how to better serve them.  I look at my life and realize (quite often) how selfish I can be.  I like what I like, the way I like it, when I like it, how I like it.  This gets in the way of my ability to truly serve my family.

Where did my selfish tendencies come from?  Besides my fallen human nature, my tendency toward selfishness stems from my past pornography use.  It made everything I do, even serving my sickly little girl, about me.  Because of this revelation, I realized that the only way to do that is to look to the cross.  I must unite my failures in life to the struggle Christ experienced on the cross so that I am purified of my tendency toward comfort, self-pleasure and ease.  My little girl needs me to be one hundred percent committed to taking care of her and if I don’t watch it, I’ll put myself before her, falling into old patterns and losing sight of the cross.  If this happens, my selfishness has won and drastically impedes my ability to serve.

I urge everyone to take a step back, especially during Holy Week, to evaluate the areas in your life (vicious behavior) that require change.  Figure out how to change those things and continue to work on them until you possess the virtue that overcomes that vice.

Man up!

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