“Hunger” Testimony

In May 2014, I attended the inaugural Encounter  Young Adult Conference in St. Louis, Missouri as a vendor and sponsor, and was welcomed to give a brief testimony on the topic of “Hunger”, specifically related to my personal story, struggle, and addiction to pornography.  Hunger was one of the themes that day.  I finally got some editing done and uploaded it to YouTube.  It’s also on my YouTube Channel with other videos like it.

 

There are several themes within this short talk that are vitally important.  If you search through the years of archives, you can find many of them explained.  I realize that’s difficult, and lots to sift through, so hopefully some of the resources I’m working on creating and making available will help.  These important themes are: accountability, God’s forgiveness, having a plan of action, brotherhood, personal effort, virtue, and more.  If you have questions, or a specific scenario you need help with, don’t hesitate to contact us.  Email us at ContactUs@TrueManhood.com.

TrueMan up!

Matt Fradd’s “Rules for Men to Break”

Today, for the first time in maybe 6 or 8 years, I sat in the crowd of a men’s conference merely as a participant.  I wasn’t a speaker at the event, nor was I running a vendor table.  It was relaxing, encouraging, and gave me some good thoughts about areas I would like to write/speak on, as well as some tips/hints where I can improve my speaking.  Overall, the day went very well and I think the 1,500 men in the room walked away inspired and enthusiastic.

Matt Fradd was one of the keynote speakers, as he often is at men’s conferences.  He did an outstanding job.  He is very good at the art of public speaking.  I’d like to recount his “5 Rules That Every Man Should Break”, and then give some thoughts of my own on the topic.

The 5 Rules:

1. Never get into a fight.
2. Never think about sex.
3. Never give into peer pressure.
4. Never risk it all.
5. Never ask for directions.

I’m happy to say that I’ve broken all of these rules!  Number 1: Although in my youth, I used to get into physical altercations frequently (sorry if you didn’t know that, Mom!), I now fight for things much more important – like the innocence of my children.  I fight for truth.  I fight the evils of pornography.  Getting into these sorts of fights… for goodness, and justice… is a good thing!  In fact, men are called to this.  To be effective, however, we must be educated, courageous, and prudent.

Number 2 is so important for us to understand.  Sex is a good thing!  Similarly to fire, sex needs to be contained, and looked at in context.  Fire, raging out of control, is bad.  It can destroy, and kill.  Sex, out of context and out of control, will ultimately destroy love and will kill us.  (For more on this, search out and read anything by Christopher West on the topic of Blessed John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”.  Especially reference any time that West refers to the “fast food diet vs. the starvation diet” of sex for more understanding of the correct Catholic view of sex.)

Number 3 can be tricky… we should give into peer pressure when the pressure of our peers is good and properly ordered.  This requires work on our part, and discipline, to put ourselves in good places with good people.  How many of us have solid, well-formed friends that we spend our time with?  Not only, however, that we spend our time with, but also that challenge us to live better, and hold us accountable to the standard that we want and are called to uphold?  If you don’t, you need to seek out these kinds of people and get to work!

Number 4 comes down to courageousness.  The courage to risk it all is within you!  If you’re a man and have been with a suitable woman for the right amount of time, don’t wait!  “Risk it all” and ask her to marry you already!  If you’re considering the priesthood, don’t sit around and waste time “discerning” more… make a decision and do it!  (Please don’t take my use of discernment as though I don’t believe in it.  I use it emphatically here b/c of how skewed it has become, and how it allows men to hide behind it like a mask, easily shucking any form of responsibility.)  Decisiveness is a virtue; a sub-virtue of prudence.

Number 5 takes our minds automatically to the road, but I’d prefer to take it deeper.  How about linking this to spiritual direction?  Accountability?  Obedience to our priests?  Taking directions from trusted, wise, and faithful men can be the difference between success and failure in life.

Thanks to Matt Fradd for this good list of rules to break.  Let’s step outside of the “norm” and be dangerous men for the Lord!  How many do you break?

TrueMan up!

Archbishop Promotes Fight Against Porn

Great work, Archbishop Naumann!  This is my favorite quote, from a great Shepherd!  “We fail our people if we’re not courageous in preaching about chastity, as well as offering opportunities to help those seeking to live chastely.” – Archbishop Joseph Naumann.  Read below.

Kansas City archbishop promotes fight against porn

By T. Baklinski.  KANSAS CITY, January 28, 2011 (LifeSiteNews.com) – Archbishop Joseph Naumann of Kansas City has developed a website (http://www.loveisfaithful.com/) that promotes the archdiocese’s My House Initiative, a program devoted to protecting families and healing couples from pornography.

The website invites people to become aware of the teachings of the Catholic Church about love and sexual intimacy through John Paul II’s Theology of the Body.

The site contains information including internet accountability software,  testimonies, Theology of the Body small groups contact info, counseling resources, support groups, men’s and women’s ministries, and other resources to help families and couples.

“When I was a child, there were social barriers that protected the young from pornography,” Archbishop Naumann told the Catholic World Report (CWR). “But in this age of personal computers and cable television, we have an entirely different environment.”

“People say that pornography is a victimless sin. But that’s not true,” continued Archbishop Naumann. “Many are exploited in the porn industry and we know it causes devastation in marriages.”

The website refers readers to an article by former porn actress April Garris, who, speaking from personal experience in the porn industry, now works to unmask “the deception of pornography, exposing the lie, and bringing all of these myths crashing to the ground.”

Titled “10 Myths Exposed,” Garris’ article brings to light the horrific realities of the pornography industry.

“If you have held to one or more of these myths,” Garris writes, “then you have been sucked into the deception of porn. I hope that laying out these myths has opened your eyes to the reality of porn … a reality that is dark, disgusting, and destructive.”

A video presentation of the My House Initiative has been shown in nearly all of the 110 churches in northeast Kansas, according to the diocesan office. The video and the My House Manual were sent to every U.S. diocese in 2007. This resulted in six dioceses adopting the program, with 36 others expressing interest.

The website calls attention to other aspects of Archbishop Naumann’s fight against porn, including a billboard on the 18th Street Expressway near Kansas Ave, sponsored by donations and viewed over 18,000 times per day; a prayer service to be held near a porn store (Cirilla’s, located at 7528 State Ave.) on February 3, 2011, 4:00 – 5:00 pm; a downloadable handout called 7 Steps to Protect your Family from Pornography; and many other resources.

“We pray that the information on this site will continue to spread to other families, churches, and individuals,” the My House Initiative website states. “We also pray that the thousands of people who are waiting to be rescued from the pornography industry will find hope and healing.”

Archbishop Naumann told CWR that he believes priests have an obligation to promote the virtue of chastity, particularly among the young, while being sensitive to the ages and individual circumstances of their congregations.

“We fail our people if we’re not courageous in preaching about chastity, as well as offering opportunities to help those seeking to live chastely,” Archbishop Naumann said. “When we live chaste lives, we are witnesses of our faith in the world. Chastity also frees us from those things that can enslave us and leave us feeling isolated and sad.”