TrueManhood Podcast – Episode 13 Fatherhood, Leadership, and Gender Roles

Dave discusses the topic of fatherhood, leadership, and the roles of men and women. If you’re a Catholic, a husband, or a father, this episode is for you.

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True God and TrueMan

The Easter Triduum is an incredible celebration within our Church’s liturgical calendar.  The Triduum is the time from Holy Thursday until Easter Day, which includes so many incredible elements to our faith, such as: The Institution of the Eucharist at the Last Supper!  The Institution of the Priesthood, Christ humbling Himself (as our example, especially for men) as a servant-leader with the washing of the feet, Christ’s Passion, Christ’s death on the cross as the Paschal Lamb – the Passover fulfillment, and tomorrow, the celebration of His Resurrection!  What a rich and humbling tradition of redemption we have!

We should see Christ as our model.  He is the perfection of manliness.  He is all virtue.  He is sacrificial, even to the point of death.  He is a servant leader.  It is these characteristics that we should be striving for.  In the Divine Praises, we pray the following statement… “Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true man.”  This verse has become the tagline for our ministry here at TrueManhood (scroll down this page to see!), and for good reason.  We’re all asking the question, “what does it mean to be a real man?”  The answer lies with Christ.  When you get up in the morning, throughout the entire day, and again before you go to bed, I recommend that you immerse yourself in the life of Christ so that you can learn what He did while He walked this earth and also, so that you learn what He continues to do, as He sits at the right hand of the Father in Heaven.  This means, first and foremost, that you are praying continually!  A daily, fervent prayer life will aid you greatly.  [Don’t know how to pray?… shoot me an email and we’ll chat.  Dave@TrueManhood.com.]  Next, I recommend that you gaze upon Christ on the cross.  His sacrifice is there and present on the cross.  The image of Christ on the cross reminds us of what and who He is and why He did what He did for us, all of us.  Stare at Him.  Unite your suffering to Him.  Serve as He served.  Lead as he led.  Love as He loved.

I pray that your Lenten experience was fruitful this year.  Be aware that you can give up things (this is called fasting) anytime (not on Sundays)… it doesn’t have to be only during Lent.  Work to control your will, so that by saying ‘no’ in the little things, you can say ‘no’ to the big temptations.  Practicing what the Church suggests for us during Lent is good to continue throughout the entire year.

Man up!

What We Should Be Most Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving 2009 everyone!  It’s quite easy for us to forget about things in our life that we are (or that we should be) thankful for.  It’s easy to go through life taking for granted the wonderful blessings we have.  Sometimes, especially when it seems like the entire world is falling apart around us, we can’t see the blessings.  I tend to think that we can’t see those things because we can’t get past our own wants and desires and our attitude gets in our own way.

What we should be most thankful for is the perfect blessing, the greatest gift… the Eucharist.  Did you know that the world eucharist means thanksgiving?  When you’re down and out, struggling and allowing your poor attitude to get in your own way, do you run to the Eucharist?  When you’ve got everything going for you, and you are striving for holiness, do you run to the Eucharist?  No matter where you are in life, or how good or bad your day has been, the Eucharist should be your stronghold.  I think that men sometimes struggle with the teachings of the Eucharist because men are called to submit fully to Christ and this gift.  Typically, men don’t like to submit; submission is a sign of weakness and loss of control.  In this case, submission to Christ in the Eucharist is key!  If you want to grow in TrueManhood and you want to live the virtue of love (the GREATEST VIRTUE!), run to the Eucharist!!!

Christ instituted this gift, a pure gift of Himself, to sustain us and to guide us.  The Eucharist is the one part of our faith that unites us most intimately with Christ.  We give thanks for this “bread from Heaven”, what the Church refers to as “the source and summit”.  We tend to think of movie characters like William Wallace or Maximus Decimus Meridius when we think of leadership, sacrifice and real manliness.  Christ outshines them; this gift was an incredibly hard sacrifice to make… the hardest ever.  Christ lead the Church towards His Father through this miraculous gift.  I invite you to learn about the Eucharist and then, as I stated above, run to the Eucharist!

For those who either aren’t Catholic or who aren’t educated Catholics, I want to encourage you to read what the Catholic Church teaches about the Eucharist.  This is the MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF OUR FAITH and many believers don’t know about it nor could they explain it.  To start learning, please click this link for more info.

Man up!

AFA Football Video

I love my job.  I have the distinct pleasure of serving the great young men and women of the Air Force Academy as the Catholic Campus Minister.  This video shows a glimpse into the real importance of the Air Force Academy as an institution, not just the football tradition.  Leadership, Integrity, Courage, Strength, Compassion, Force, Humility, Determination… all great characteristics of a TrueMan.  Go Falcons!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-8z1LLVh3s]

Man up!

An Explanation on Ephesians Chapter 5

On semi-regular occasions, I come across stories of men and women who look at Ephesians Chapter 5 in a different way than the Church does.  It often appears that they take the writings out of context and make them something that they are not.  I want to take a few minutes to explain portions of this sometimes mistaken portion of Scripture.  Note: I am not a Biblical scholar – I recommend that you cross-check my words here with other sources for full understanding.

Starting at verse 21 in chapter 5, St. Paul tells Wives and Husbands “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the Church, He Himself the savior of the body.  As the Church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.”  A few hard-hitting verses.  If we stop at this verse, we see the writer (St. Paul) asking women to be subordinate to their man in everything.  It almost appears that a woman should blindly follow her husband simply because he is 1. her husband and 2. the head of his wife.  We might look at this and say that a wife needs to be “below” her husband and always do as he tells her.  The image of a slave and a master comes to mind here.  After all, it’s right there in Scripture – right? 

Not quite.  We need to continue reading to finish out this section.  25: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed Himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the Church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the Church, because we are members of His body.”  We see a much different story when we continue reading.  St. Paul isn’t writing this to women alone.  Most importantly, he is writing this to husbands; husbands are the readers who especially need to heed these words. 

Look at this with me: scripture tells us that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church.  Christ didn’t love the Church out of dictatorial power… He loved the Church out of service, out of self-sacrifice and out of pure virtue.  If we leave this part out of our understanding, our understanding lacks truth and our relationship with our spouse suffers.  Again, St. Paul is speaking to the men, saying “Men, serve your wife!  LOVE you wife!  Give up what you want for the sanctity and holiness of your wife!  Love her as you love yourself!  Want what’s best for her, never thinking about yourself first!”  I can imagine him being incredibly frustrated with men who were lacking as husbands, trying to get them to see that Christ set the example of being a real husband (a TrueMan) for them and that they simply need to emulate Him in order to succeed.

This means, for us men who are or who will be husbands, that we MUST act as Christ acted.  We must be perfected so that our actions, thoughts, words and deeds line up with how Christ would have done them.  We must be sacrificial in the way that we treat our wife.  Christ was a servant leader, He said “I come to serve, not to be served.”  Do that… don’t live to be served. 

On a practical note: as you look at your marriage and begin to digest what you are reading, realize that countless blessings will come from being a servant leader for your wife.  Being a servant leader means that you are serving while leading.  Service comes first.  Want respect from your wife?  Respect her first.  Want your wife to honor you?  Honor her first.  Want your wife to trust you?  Trust her first.  It’s a simple formula and this formula will change your life.  Christ calls us to act in the manner He acted, so guess what… if you are trying to act as Christ acted, you can’t be selfish, ever.  Serve your wife, serve your kids, serve your co-workers, serve everyone, and do it ahead of yourself and your needs.  It will change your life.

Man up!