A Man, His Wife, a Snowmobile and Wide-open Spaces
I’m a lucky man. I had the opportunity to get away this weekend with my wife. We got away for a half day on Friday, stayed overnight and had a whole day together on Saturday. With children, full-time jobs, a full-time ministry and life, we rarely get a full weekend together. A big thanks goes out to my brother, a friend of ours and to my in-laws for their help in watching the kids while we were gone.
The overnight date was perfect, just what we needed. A time with my best friend, a time of relaxation and rejuvenation, a time for some excitement and adventure. On Friday, we traveled to a small mountain town about 2.5 hrs away. When we arrived in town, the shop was ready for us. We signed in, grabbed a helmet for each of us, then traveled about 3 miles outside of town to start our back country snowmobile trip. We jumped on a touring sled and hit the trail. We couldn’t have asked for a better day – the sky was blue, the sun was out, the snow was pristine. It’s days like that when you really enjoy God’s creation… it was as if that day, God had created it all for us specifically. We toured around for a few hours, enjoying the scenery, the cool wind and each other’s company. The trip was incredible.
That night, we relaxed in a meager hotel room, enjoying each other’s company, the fact that we didn’t have to put any children to bed and the realization that there was no work in sight! The next morning, we got up early to hit the slopes, enjoying a day of skiing at a favorite ski resort. Again, God blessed us with an incredible day of blue skies, warm temps and time together.
What’s my point in telling you all about my wonderful overnight weekend getaway? My point is simple: take time to rejuvenate yourself. Find something – it doesn’t have to be snowmobiling and skiing – but find something that gives you life and make time for it in your life. As a man who is a glutton for a busy life, I can attest to the facts of life and what a busy, stress-filled life can do to a man. If you don’t have an outlet for your stress, your worries and your cares, they’ll catch up with you. If you don’t have a source of energy to fill you up, you’ll continually give of yourself until you run dry. For me, it was 1. time with my wife, alone without our children 2. time away from my computer, work and projects and 3. an opportunity to do an activity (2, in this case) that was life-giving! After this weekend, I’m ready to tackle my life and everything that life throws my way.
Whatever it is that you need in your life, be it a stress-reliever, a life-giving “fill up” or an outlet of any kind, make special time to make it happen. It will do you, and the others you are entrusted with, a great deal of good.
Man up!
How Does a Single Man Live Love?
I didn’t really speak to this in my previous post… how a single man lives love. I spoke about how a married man can live love and how he can show his wife love, but nothing specifically for a single man. Let’s dive in.
[Let’s say that our single guy isn’t in a dating relationship, courtship or engagement.] He still follows the principles laid out in the Catechism (CCC 1822) about what charity is and he realizes that all he does should be out of love for God and love for neighbor. I think it’s easiest to understand this idea (of living love) if a single man lives life as a servant, with the intention of bringing glory to God. Essentially, a single man lives love the same way a married man does, he simply directs his love towards others differently; a married man has a wife and maybe children that he loves above all other humans – if you’re not a husband or a father you’ll understand what I mean if you become one.
Often times, the word love is distorted to mean something (only) having to do with romance and/or intimacy. Not true. Obviously, marital love tends towards romance/intimacy, but marital love should stem from the same foundation that God’s love (specifically, Christ’s love for us on the cross) does. This foundation is life-giving, selfless and sacrificial. It might be easier to get the distinction if we use the word charity in place of love. As we think about what a charity does (helps people, lends a tender hand, comforts, protects, continually thinks about the welfare of others, etc.) it might make it easier for us to understand what living charity means.
A verse to think about:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says: “Charity is patient and kind. It is not jealous, it does not boast. It is not arrogant or rude. Charity does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrong, but rejoices in right. Charity bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
If you’re a single man, are you always patient? In traffic, at work, in line at the grocery store? Are you arrogant or rude? Do you think more of yourself than others based off petty worldview mentalities? Are you irritable? Easily frustrated, constant mood swings or uncontrollable rage? Do you rejoice in others failures or struggles? Think about your life in connection with this verse.
Man up!
Following an Example
I have a person in my life that exemplifies something that I strive for. This person, by their actions, calls me to something better than what I produce, in a way that isn’t judgmental, harsh or overtly obvious. This person simply acts in a way that entices me to perform in a better way. This person is my wife, Catherine. What she does is she lives a life that is selfless and always life-giving. When it comes to the kids, the house, work or family time, she always puts the needs of the rest of us first. And she does it in the smallest things. For instance, when she shops for groceries, she always buys what I like over what she likes. When we’re going out as a family, she always gets the girls ready, their bag ready, their toys ready… on and on. 
There’s an important lesson here –> Men can, and should, learn from women. Women typically show us a different perspective, a different point of view, a different emotion, a different thought process and usually a different plan. Notice that I said different… not better, not worse, simply different. This different perspective can (like in the situation above) guide us towards stronger manliness, if we choose to respond. Choosing to respond to a higher calling, to be a better man, is a major piece in achieving True Manhood. Many men think that manliness comes from the denial of the female perspective, however, I know differently. If I held that position, I would be the opposite of my wife… I would be forever selfish and consumed with my own desires. Thanks for setting such a great example Babe.
