How Does a Single Man Live Love?
I didn’t really speak to this in my previous post… how a single man lives love. I spoke about how a married man can live love and how he can show his wife love, but nothing specifically for a single man. Let’s dive in.
[Let’s say that our single guy isn’t in a dating relationship, courtship or engagement.] He still follows the principles laid out in the Catechism (CCC 1822) about what charity is and he realizes that all he does should be out of love for God and love for neighbor. I think it’s easiest to understand this idea (of living love) if a single man lives life as a servant, with the intention of bringing glory to God. Essentially, a single man lives love the same way a married man does, he simply directs his love towards others differently; a married man has a wife and maybe children that he loves above all other humans – if you’re not a husband or a father you’ll understand what I mean if you become one.
Often times, the word love is distorted to mean something (only) having to do with romance and/or intimacy. Not true. Obviously, marital love tends towards romance/intimacy, but marital love should stem from the same foundation that God’s love (specifically, Christ’s love for us on the cross) does. This foundation is life-giving, selfless and sacrificial. It might be easier to get the distinction if we use the word charity in place of love. As we think about what a charity does (helps people, lends a tender hand, comforts, protects, continually thinks about the welfare of others, etc.) it might make it easier for us to understand what living charity means.
A verse to think about:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says: “Charity is patient and kind. It is not jealous, it does not boast. It is not arrogant or rude. Charity does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrong, but rejoices in right. Charity bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
If you’re a single man, are you always patient? In traffic, at work, in line at the grocery store? Are you arrogant or rude? Do you think more of yourself than others based off petty worldview mentalities? Are you irritable? Easily frustrated, constant mood swings or uncontrollable rage? Do you rejoice in others failures or struggles? Think about your life in connection with this verse.
Man up!
How Does a Man Live Love?
Recently, I was having a conversation with some friends about various topics. As we got into the conversation, somehow we got onto the topic of love. I said something to the effect of “… a husband needs to love his wife. He needs to live love.” One of my friends asked me, “How does a man live love?” He said, “We hear that all the time, but how does a guy actually do that? What does he have to do to live love?” It’s a valid question. Actually, it’s more than valid, it’s essential.
We’ve talked previously about love being the greatest of all the virtues. We’ve talked about love being a verb. Let’s put these together. If we possess the virtue of love (also referred to as charity), that means that we perform love 1. with ease 2. with joy 3. at every opportunity and 4. promptly. Once we possess the virtue of love, it’s second nature for us to perform. Notice that there is an action taking place – love is performed. Okay, so we’ve said that love is a virtue and that it requires an action. What is that action?
The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains it very clearly in paragraph 1822: “Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for His own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God.” Love isn’t something intangible that happens to come along every once and awhile, love is for God and others.
As a husband, I can live out love by first loving God and then by loving my wife (for love of God). That means that I strive to do as God has done. This isn’t a sentence full of meaningless words. This means that all I do, everything I think and say, is geared towards and focused on God. The greatest example of how a man can live love is by looking to Christ on the cross. Self-sacrifice, service, humility, obedience. Do these things for your wife and you’ll be loving her.
Practical application: how can I sacrifice for my wife as a sign of love? The greatest gift, of laying your life down for a friend, isn’t necessarily what I’m hoping will happen here, but that’s the ultimate. Sacrifice can be as simple as letting her choose the restaurant you eat at, or what TV show to watch or which song to listen to on the radio. Putting your preferences last.
It’s possible, that for each guy, love means something just a little bit different. In the end, it comes down to loving God and loving others.
Man up!
The Kind of Man Anyone Would Be Glad to Know
I recently received a birthday card from my parents; the words are meaningful and profound.
“When a Man has a Good Heart and lets it Guide Him –
When He Seeks what is True and Strives to Live by it –
When He Understands His own Gifts and does His Best to Share Them –
That Man does Himself and All Those who Love Him Proud.”
…To the Kind of Man Anyone Would Be Glad to Know…
Man up!
Evangelization Linebacker Follow-Up…
Yesterday I posted a hilarious video, the “Evangelization Linebacker”; check out the post so you know what I’m referencing today. So, for some folks, in your face evangelization-tactics work. For most, it pushes others away. Therefore, you can’t be “blowin’ people up” and expecting them to “come with you” on the journey. It’s imperative that you create a relationship with the other person and allow them time to gain trust in you. Once trust is gained, respect usually falls in place and then you gain moral authority with them; moral authority allows you to speak the Truth to open and willing ears. If you don’t have trust, respect or authority, you’ll be fighting an uphill battle. [Always remember, respect is received ONLY AFTER respect has been given.]
Gaining the trust comes from meeting people where they are. If it’s young people, you have to get in their lives and meet them in their element. For me, with the cadets, I spend as much time with them doing fun, social stuff as possible so they can see that I’m normal and easy to talk to. Once they come to fun stuff, they’re more likely to join us for religious education stuff and then to start joining us for Mass regularly. Once that happens, they are willing and capable of listening to the Truth of Jesus. We can’t expect people to immediately change their ways and “get it”. It takes time, and usually, some pushing, challenging and proding.
Most of the time, it’s scary for a person to step out and evangelize, but the Linebacker’s got it right… we’ve got to share our faith. You need to do it the specific/unique way God created you to do it. And always, without fail, you must back up your words with your actions. I’ve written about this a lot, but it requires LOVE and LOVE is a verb. Go and live Love!
Something, besides fear, that holds people back is their lack of knowledge and/or readiness. Lots of people think that they aren’t ready because they don’t have enough knowledge, experience or time as a Christ-follower. You’ve got to start somewhere, so today’s the day. Go out and, even in little ways, be an example of Christ to the world.
Wanna know more? Email me at proveritasspeakers@gmail.com.
Man up!
What Does it Mean to Be Manly?
I came across a few videos today on YouTube that were a bit frustrating to watch. I’m not posting them here because 1. they are frustrating 2. they are inappropriate for my site and 3. I don’t want to promote the males that made these videos. What I found in these videos was a misconstrued image of manliness, but not in the normal sense (aka – “cultural manliness”, as I refer to it –> money, power, women, stuff…) but in a sense of bashing overly manly activities, ideas, thoughts and practices. Taking it to the other extreme; calling men to be more feminine. Yuck.
Let me make it clear to the readers of this blog what I mean when I say words like MANLY, MANLINESS, TRUEMAN, TRUEMANHOOD, etc. In essence, I mean virtue. In none of the three videos that sparked this post did they ever mention anything about virtue. It might get old hearing about virtue, and yes, I write about it frequently, but virtue = manliness. TrueManliness. Plain and simple.
Others can blog/vlog about whatever they want, but when it comes to talking about manliness, they aren’t my compass. My compass points are Christ and St. Joseph, combined with other saints and men who are alive (both literally and figuratively) in the faith. These men live(d) out “the greatest of these” – Love. Prudence, Temperance, Justice, Fortitude, Faith, Hope and Love. Live them.
If you would like a copy of some virtue materials, contact TrueManhood.com at proveritasspeakers@gmail.com.
Man up!
All Eyes On Me
All eyes on me… and you…
I know Dennis Rodman said “I never asked to be a role model”, but he’s in the spot light. And you – although probably not in the spot light – probably never asked to be a role model either. Guess what? You are a role model. You’re a role model whether you want to be or not. Whether you are at home (with siblings, parents, spouse, children or friends) or at work, or at Church or in public… all eyes are on you. Maybe you didn’t ask, but it’s the fact of the matter.
So why does this matter? So what if everyone is watching me? It matters because all of those eyes are connected to brains that are forming impressions about you. And you don’t only represent yourself, you represent all men, everywhere. If you are a father, you represent fatherhood. If you are a Catholic, you represent Catholicism. If you’re doing a great job of setting a great example, then great! Keep up the good work! If, however, you are setting a poor example, then you are making my job much more difficult. If women look at you and think that the behavior you live out is what a man is, shame on you. If children look at you and think that the behavior you live out is what a man is, how dare you. If non-believers look at you and think that the behavior you live out is what a Christian (man) is, may God have mercy on you.
You might not ask for it, but all eyes are on you. You can make this seemingly gigantic task have an incredible outcome if you live as a TrueMan should. How does a man live as a TrueMan? First and foremost, he is virtuous. This includes being faithful to God and being loving. After these two vital virtues, he respects others, honors his wife and children and is hard working. I could continue on for pages. Summed up, a TrueMan is a virtuous man.
Man up!
7 Days of Virtue; Day 7 – Love
Think of virtues like your muscles. You work your muscles out so that they can perform for you when needed. Virtue is the same way. You practice, work on the virtue and then, when the time comes, the virtue is there and ready.
Day 7 of the 7 Day Journey through the Virtues: DAY 7 – LOVE.
Love, also called charity, is the form of all virtue. Love is friendship with God and love leads us to God. An important aspect of love is that it is a verb; it requires action from us. To perform acts of love, we must surpass our own abilities; we require supernatural grace. (Supernatural = super –> beyond… natural –> nature… beyond our nature.)
Society often tells us that love is something that we get, instead of something we give. We’re often told to seek it for our good, instead of the good of another. This leads us to selfishness and seeking our our passions, desires and wants. Instead, we should love unconditionally, especially our spouse and our children – making a freely given gift of ourselves and our lives. Love brings us:
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Joy – seeing love in others.
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Peace – right relations, when we are united (or under reconciliation)
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Mercy – a compassionate heart for another’s unhappiness. (The greatest virtue in relation to others.)
Love also occurs in:
- Passion – the desire for something.
- Natural virtue – when you want what is best for someone else.
- Theological virtue – the Holy Spirit dwelling in us.
Man up!
