Examples Are All Around
There are examples of what not to do all around us. The idea of cultural manliness (this ideology that the more money, power, sex and stuff I have, the more manly I’ll be) is completely absurd. This idea is rampant, yet many times, we’re so desensitized to its ugly face, that we hardly even notice it. I noticed it today… I snagged this post from Facebook today. It’s quite simple, and best explained directly from the picture. Please note, my red circular marks direct your attention to the parts that are most important, and quite honestly, most appalling.
I’m not sure if this guy just wants to fit in or what, but his comment is ridiculous and the words written in the description are horrible too. See for yourself.
Man up!
The Past is the Past, Live for Today
There’s a young couple that I know that inspired this post. They know who they are. The idea came up the other day when speaking to them, that although her past was rocky and riddled with struggle, pain and sin, that he is strong enough, as a man, to move beyond what happened in her past. He is being a TrueMan. She is striving for holiness and he sees that. He encourages her, builds her up, helps her to know that she is great and a wonderful daughter of God the Father. He is encouraged and challenged by her lifestyle, and that makes him better. He realizes that her mistakes of the past are overcome by Christ’s sacrifice. Although the emotional baggage can be difficult to work through, he knows it is well worth the fight. His response could be much different.
Instead of being so loving, understanding and positive, he could choose to react harshly. He could choose to end the relationship. He could choose to be mean, hurtful and condescending. If this was the method he took, he would be forgetting his own brokenness. He would be forgetting the fact that he, as well as she and everyone else, needs the power of Confession and forgiveness from Christ.
I challenge all of my readers to take some time to think about your perspective of today. Is today’s behavior based on mistakes from the past? Are you unable to move forward because of pain from past choices? Do you try to live today in order to right the wrongs from the past? Is the past guiding your today too strongly?
Do you forget about today because of the promise of tomorrow? Do you have an unhealthy assurance that you’ll be alive tomorrow? Do your daily actions, choices, words and thoughts warrant Heaven as a reward of a good and faithful servant? These questions, and so many more, are important. Our attitude is a vital part to our lifestyle.
If we see the past as “fixable”, or today as a waste, or tomorrow as the only thing to live for, then we are missing the boat. We’re called to holiness in every moment of today. This moment may be our last, so we must live it to the full. The past is the past, live for today.
Man up!
Control Your Emotions
I’ve realized, lately, that I often tell my oldest daughter, who is now a new two year old, to control her emotions. Some might think that it’s over the top and too advanced for a child her age, I disagree. I’m trying to convey to her, in a time of an emotional up-and-down, that she has the ability and the power to control her actions in regards to her emotional status. Sometimes she immediately changes her behavior, other times she doesn’t. The realization that I’ve had is that most adults can’t do this simple task.
Emotions are highly overrated and, when used in decision making, volatile. I’m thinking back to several encounters (some of which I have posted about on this site) that I’ve had with adult men over the past several months. The regular and recurring theme between many of the encounters that have gone badly is that the man couldn’t control his emotions. He allowed his emotions (regardless of what they might be) to get the better of him. It’s a shame, really.
By allowing your emotions to be in control, you are saying that your brain isn’t strong enough or smart enough or formed enough (etc) to make a change. I know better than that. Your brain is capable of being in charge and putting your emotion in their right and ordered place. Try it next time… when you’re frustrated in traffic, relax, be a gentleman and keep on. When you get bad service at the restaurant, remain calm, let it roll away – you can still demand customer service, simply do it in the right way. When someone mistreats you, act out of charity… stand firm in the truth and remain vigilant for justice. When you disagree with your spouse, put her needs first, even when it means that you won’t get your way – be a servant-leader. No matter what the situation, you have the ability to control your emotions. I guarantee you, without a doubt, that you’ll like yourself much more and other people will like and respect you more.
Man up!
Scandalous Commercial – Bad Manning
Have you seen the new Peyton Manning, DirecTV – NFL Sunday Ticket Commercial? I saw it today. Blah. The commercial has Manning not “manning up” but instead, giving into the all-mighty-endorsement-deal-dollar – and NOT being anything even remotely close to a TrueMan. I used to have so much more respect for him. The commercial is supposed to be about watching football, and seeing every game on NFL Sunday Ticket, in HD. Yet, there isn’t a single scene of a football player, play, ball or locker room. The entire commercial is scenes of scantily clad cheerleaders strutting around, doing high kicks and bouncing up and down.
Manning has the opportunity to endorse lots of products, and some of his endorsements have been great. (Most of his commercial spots are hilarious.) What I don’t understand is why Manning, and society in general, thinks that it’s okay to objectify women by showing them in this manner? I fault the cheerleaders for objectifying themselves, but they’re only doing what appears to be glamorous by society’s standards. I want to call to action the men involved; if men step up, women will gladly follow suit. That means Peyton, the men at DirecTV, men watching that network and men reading this post.
Come on Peyton. Did you have to stoop to this level? Why didn’t you say, “There’s no football in this commercial.”? Why didn’t you say, “Nope, I won’t make sexual innuendos, they’re unnecessary. People will lose respect for me.” You didn’t. Next time, man up.
How does this affect the rest of us? How do we make a change? By starting in the home, then branching out to schools, work and in the public arena, men who hold women to a higher level of respect must first stand up to this sort of societal objectification of women. Be strong, stand firm. Your example will challenge others and will change hearts. Once a man has truly cherished a woman, in a manner most fitting within God’s plan, he’ll realize the importance of his actions. Men, we can make the difference. Change starts with you. Do it today.
Man up!
Pictures Speak Louder
So I’m on vacation with my wife… we’re here in Florida, enjoying the sun, the pools and the theme parks. I don’t plan to post every day, but I saw something today that I had to address. We were riding on our shuttle and a newlywed couple got on. I knew they were newlyweds by their shirts. The bride modeled a white tank with rhinestones spelling out “bride”. The groom, however, sported a black t-shirt with a picture that spoke much louder than words ever could.
This message, “Game Over”, depicting a groom and bride, shows not only a distane for marriage, but a lack of respect for one another in the bond that just took place through the marriage vows. I’ve got lots of problems with this shirt, but here are my two biggest beefs:
1. He, (if he’s even close to a man) asked her to marry him. He asked her if she would spend the rest of her life with him. Why do men (typically, in society) see marriage as “game over”? Marriage is an incredible gift, an amazing relationship between best friends that work with God to be co-creators of life. Why can’t this guy, and other men everywhere, see this?
2. The bride, who just vowed her life to this man, is okay with him wearing this shirt. She’s okay with him wearing it in public. She’s okay with him proudly displaying his viewpoint of what his new and exciting relationship is all about. Essentially, he’s saying “My past life of fun and freedom is over” and she’s saying “He’s right”.
What a shame. I hope that somewhere, at least one man and one woman reads this post and changes their viewpoint on what a marriage can be. I know the other side of this “Game Over” t-shirt. I know the side of marriage that brings about life, with a woman that I love and share my entire life with. I actually like being with her, spending time with her, sharing my life with her. Best of luck to this young couple; I hope they make it past this sort of attitude and have a long and lasting relationship.
Man up!
A Father Breaking the Cycle
June 25, 2009 by admin
Filed under Fatherhood
Often times, what I blog about are bad experiences that I have of males who aren’t holding up their end of the deal in society. Typically, they’re making bad decisions, exemplifying “cultural manliness” and slacking on being a TrueMan. Today, I’m going to change things up and speak about a man that is Breaking the Cycle.
This TrueMan is a national hero, a firefighter who has unselfishly put himself in harm’s way to protect others for well over 20 yrs. He is a Captain at a well-known Marine base near Washington D.C. He influences the young men in the firehouse, not only in the ways of firefighting, but also in life. The biggest impact he has though (not at all to discount his years of service nor his honors & accolades) is the impact he has on his family.
The father of three, this TrueMan knows well that a father’s impact is long lasting and the most important relationship in the lives of his children.
This man had a childhood with a father that was a workaholic. To quote him, “My Dad didn’t have 5 minutes for me, a year.” Not only did the father neglect his only son, he was abusive and left physical scars to prove it. In speaking with him the other day, he said something that really struck me. He said “I won’t be like my father was. Not a a chance.” It struck me not only because he’s breaking the cycle of what his father showed him, but because he means it. He’s convicted, in the deepest part of his heart, to give his children the attention, devotion and love that he never received. It’s not out of spite or out of pity, it’s out of love. The love he has for them resonates deeply with me because his children are my godchildren, and needless to say, are very important to me.
I could continue on for many more paragraphs, but I think my point is easy to understand and doesn’t require repeating. By the way, he’s a great husband too.
Thank you, Captain TLW. You’re a great man.
Man up!
The Kind of Man Anyone Would Be Glad to Know
I recently received a birthday card from my parents; the words are meaningful and profound.
“When a Man has a Good Heart and lets it Guide Him –
When He Seeks what is True and Strives to Live by it –
When He Understands His own Gifts and does His Best to Share Them –
That Man does Himself and All Those who Love Him Proud.”
…To the Kind of Man Anyone Would Be Glad to Know…
Man up!
