Fight Rules
It’s a difficult thing, in a relationship, to not be selfish. It’s hard to think about the other person first, every time, without fail. It’s hard to put your personal desires, wishes and needs on the back burner so you can aid in the other person receiving theirs. [I am much less than perfect at these things.] Because of this, fights/disagreements/arguments (however you want to phrase it) happen. There are some important rules that a man should live by when he experiences a fight in his relationship.
- Remain Calm, even if she doesn’t
- Listen twice as much as your speak, even if she doesn’t
- Never interrupt, even if she does
- Leave your pride out of it, even if she doesn’t
- Tell her that you hear what she’s saying (and actually listen!)
- Validate her point of view, even if she doesn’t validate yours
- Never cuss
- Never EVER get physical!
- Never scream/yell/raise your voice, even if she does
- Never fight in front of the kids
And most importantly… Always make the choice to love. (BTW, love is a verb.)
"It Never Hurt a Man to Try and Be a Better Man…"
… words from Jack Ingram’s latest song, “That’s a Man”.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Andx4tHCQmw]
In the song, Jack sings about a young father working two jobs for his young family, just so they can get by and so he can give them a better life. He sings about a Marine, struggling with the loss of his buddy, and about how hard he tried to save him. He sings about a lot of things… what strikes me is that each of the stories has it’s fair share of heartache and difficulty, but in the end, a man does what he has to. He works hard, has a deep resolve and protects those around him. If it takes working 7 hot days a week, he does it. If it means working long hours, he does it. If it means blood, sweat and tears, he sheds them. Do others say “that’s a man” about you?
Are You Like Adam?
Adam, you know, THE Adam. The first man. God’s creation. He was given dominion over all the animals, and the land, God gave him the crown of creation, Eve, as his wife and God asked him to “shamar” the garden. “What’s shamar, Dave?” In layman’s terms, it means to cultivate, protect and/or defend. [If God asked a guy to shamar his prized hot rod, would anyone drive or touch it? Probably not. Certainly, no one would have the opportunity to scratch it or damage it in any way.] Why didn’t Adam shamar the garden?
The serpent made his way in (Genesis 3) and began speaking to the woman. Often times, it’s portrayed as if Eve were alone in the garden and that Adam was somewhere else. The serpent, being cunning as he is, began to call into question what God said to them. Eve tried to correct him, but was unsuccessful in her explanation. (Read the passages in Genesis closely to pick up on this.) Eventually, Eve gave in and ate the fruit from the tree. Adam ate it too. See, Adam was there the entire time. He sat back and allowed the serpent to twist God’s words and confuse Eve. Had he been shamaring, as asked by God, the serpent would have never had the chance to even speak to Eve.
Shamar… do you do it like Adam or the guy with the hot rod?
Man up!
7 Days of Manly Superbowl Stuff – Day 5
Be a responsible man. Take responsibility for your actions. Sometimes, men (and women too, but men definitely take the cake in this category) like to blame other people for their mistakes, poor choices and general bad judgment. This is not good. This is not something you want to adopt as a characteristic to live by. Taking ownership and being responsible for what you say and do is a key to living a life of a True Man. Your witness, success, happiness and future will be much brighter if you “man up” and “bite the bullet” when you do something less than your best.
How is he going to relate this to football? Easy. Imagine that you’re watching a game on Sunday. How often (I’d say just about every time) do we see a player throw his hands up in unbridled disagreement to the referee’s call of a penalty?
Why can’t they just admit that the face-masking call is legitimate and that the holding penalty occurred and that the pass interference wasn’t a figment of any body’s imagination?
