A TrueMan’s Marriage – Happy 50th Dad & Mom!

I’ve had a front row seat to one of the greatest marriages in the history of time.  Today, my parents celebrate 50 years of marriage!  A tremendous feat!  I’m extremely proud of my parents and want to publicly acknowledge their love, their sacrifice, and their unfailing commitment.  You make me better, you aid my marriage, and I am so grateful for you.

I’ve written (and moreso, spoken) about my Dad on many occasions.  He’s an amazing man, and is/was a leading example for me in my pursuit of TrueManhood.  He has tons of characteristics that I love and admire, and I wouldn’t be half the man I am today if it wasn’t for him.  Here are some of the major highlights:

• My Father loves my Mother unconditionally; everything he does is directly related to my Mother’s well-being, her concerns, her likes, her desires.  His example of how a man cherishes his wife is second to none. #awesomehusband
• My Father serves my Mother unfailingly.  For the entirety of their marriage, my Father has worked his tail off so that my Mother could have safety, security, comfort, and so that she would be able to do what she was created for. #whenamanlovesawoman
• My Father is the consumate gentleman.  As a child, the example of being a gentleman was constant from my Father.  My virtues related to being a gentleman (mostly in the area of Justice) is 100% correlated to my Father’s behavior and high standards. #gentleman
• My Father cherishes all women.  Sincerely, my Father has a heart of service towards the fairer-sex… never failing to serve a female, no matter what the need may be.  He’s always polite, always charitable, always deferent to the women he encounters.  I cannot recall, even once, when I’ve seen my Father choose himself over a woman.  He has always cherished my aunts and female cousins (there were far fewer of them than male cousins), and treated every female stranger with the utmost respect.  #womenarethecrownofcreation
• My Father is a hard worker.  Still today in his 70’s, with both knees repaired and a major back surgery, my Father does his own maintenance on his house, takes care of his vehicles himself, serves in numerous ways at his parish, helps me and my brothers, and serves on a non-profit board.  The spirit of our bluecollar family, passed down from generation to generation, comes to me from him.  #hardworker

I would also be remiss, especially on this most somber of days for America (9/11), if I didn’t mention my Father’s 30-year career serving our country as an enlisted serviceman in the United States Air Force.  30 years!  Talk about dedication.

My Mother – I certainly don’t want to leave my Mother out of the conversation… and in fact, I couldn’t talk about my Father without talking about my Mother as well.  She is a huge part of my Father’s character.  From the moment they met, my Mother has challenged my Father to be who he is.  She brings the best out of him, and holds him to the very highest of standards.  It wouldn’t be a shock to tell you that their complementarity is so perfect that they make each other more holy; the point of marriage!  The perfect way that my Mother fits my Father, and returns his love and service with more love and service, is a testament to her devotion and care for him.  They truly are the perfect spouses for one another.

Jesus had Joseph and Mary – the Holy Family.  I have Tony and Charlene – great examples of love, service, dedication, and faithfulness.  Thanks Dad and Mom – Happy Anniversary!

TrueMan up!

Masculine Tears, From Days Gone By

When I saw this video clip, I was encouraged and inspired.  As a man, as a husband, as a lover, as a friend – I was challenged.  To see a man, whose courage and patriotism far surpass mine, was a firm reminder of what I’m shooting for.  AND… it all flies in the face of the hyper-masculine idea of manliness – cultural manliness.  Check the video out, then look below for more thoughts.

So, I wonder:

• When is the last time I wrote my wife a letter and mailed it to her?
• Have I shared my emotions with my wife?
• Am I confident enough to cry, and to let people see me cry?
• Do I mean the words I write?  Do I believe them?  Should the reader believe them?
• Am I working hard so that I have a 63+ year marriage?  This not only includes my love for my wife, but my physical health… will I live that long?  (I have 54+ years to go… that puts me at about 88 years old.  I think I can make it!)
• Am I in awe of my wife?  Do I feel lucky to call her mine?
• If my wife wasn’t here, would I feel that same heartache that he feels?
• Is our marriage/life an “incredible story”?
• Would my children and (future) grandchildren say the same things about me?
• Is there a true depth to the love we have in our marriage?
• Is my marriage inspiring to others?
• Does my marriage set a great example?

Some may watch this video and read this list and shrug it off.  I challenge you to, instead, take these questions and apply them to your life.  If you’re not married, substitute the words of wife or marriage for life, or Jesus, or family, or friends, and see what your answers are.

To this man, Bill Moore, and to our other heroes of “The Greatest Generation”, we owe you so much and are in awe of your sacrifice.  Thank you for setting an incredible example of manliness for us to strive for.

TrueMan up!

A TrueMan Fighting the Pro-Life Fight

There’s no question in my mind that abortion is a man’s issue.  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again… if males were handling our business, women wouldn’t feel the need for abortion.  If we want the issue of abortion to go away, and for women, men, and children to receive healing, we must step up and fight.

One of my friends, my buddies, my other-brother-from-Our-Blessed-Mother is on the front lines of this battle, and I want to highlight him, his wife, his kids, and the people who are, literally, running along side him.  This man has a new role that he’s gearing up for as President of the Vitae Foundation, and on top of all of that, he is one of our nation’s heroes, an officer in the United States Air Force.

This man’s name is Lt. Col Pat Castle, PhD., and I’m blessed to know him and call him ‘brother’.  Several years ago, Pat and a few of his closest friends started a pro-life running ministry called “LIFE Runners“.  LIFE Runners has gone worldwide and has runners all over the place; running, praying, and raising money to end abortion.  It’s so powerful, they even convinced my non-running-self to run in the inaugural A+Cross America Relay.

Pat is relentless in his pursuits!  He is first and foremost a son of God, and a great husband, and a great father, and with great passion that never stops he is relentless in fighting the evil of abortion.  Vitae has honored him with the new role as President of the foundation, a great honor and a perfect spot for him to land after his long and illustrious Air Force career.  (Read about Pat and his VF role.)  Pat retires at the end of the month.

If you want to be inspired, and encouraged as a man who is willing to fight abortion, I’d get involved with Vitae, join LIFE Runners, and get Pat’s emails.  Everytime I hear from him, see something he posts, or see the aftermath that he leaves behind (GOOD aftermath!), I am undoubtedbly inspired.  Pat’s energy and efforts are effective.  There is no wasting time, no messin’ around… he gets the job done.

For all that you do and especially for the TrueMan that you are, HIGH FIVE to you, Pat!

TrueMan up!

The Case for Sainthood

The Catholic Church has a process by which She determines whether or not a man or woman should be named a saint.  The process can be long and tedious and involves loads and loads of paperwork, proof, documentation, etc.etc.  The “case” is reviewed and then a determination is made.  (For more on this process, click HERE.)  One such man, Fr. Emil Kapaun, has a case being sent to the Vatican as we speak.  The story of Fr. Kapaun is close to my heart, as he was from Wichita, Kansas and a military man.  I grew up just 6 miles south of Wichita and as many of you know, have a long and extensive family (and even a personal) history with the military.  My Father, Tony, just told me about the opportunity that he and my mother had of attending this special Mass that was held at the Cathedral in Wichita on July 1.  We’ll pick up with an Al Kresta story…

“Fr. John Hotze, episcopal delegate for the office of Fr. Kapaun’s beatification and canonization, said the event marks the culmination of years of work and also celebrates the “gift” of Fr. Kapaun.

“The fact that we, unlike any other diocese in the United States, in the world, have been blessed by the example of this saintly man, Father Emil Kapaun, boggles my mind,” he said in a June 30 statement. “How can we do anything less than give praise to God for this gift and strive to follow the example of Father Kapaun’s selfless giving.”  Fr. Kapaun, a native of Pilsen, Kansas, served in the Korean War. He courageously rescued wounded soldiers from the battlefield, risking his own life to prevent their execution at the hands of the Chinese.  He was captured by North Korean and Communist Chinese forces after he volunteered to stay behind on a battlefield with the injured.  The priest’s service to his fellow prisoners has become legendary among those who knew of him. Scores of men attributed their survival to his work tending the starving and the sick.

Fr. Kapaun died in a prison camp hospital on May 23, 1951. The Diocese of Wichita has investigated his life since 2001 and officially opened the cause for his beatification on June 29, 2008.

Andrea Ambrosi, a lawyer investigating the case for the Vatican, told the Wichita Eagle he thinks Fr. Kapaun has a good chance to be raised to the altars.  “He showed that there was not just a devil working on the battlefields of the war, but something else.”  The investigator said Kapaun’s candidacy is unique compared with the hundreds of other cases he has investigated because it is so full of action and detailed. While most cases involve “very holy” priests and nuns who have miracles attributed to them, Fr. Kapaun’s story involves far more deeds of heroism, sacrifice and action.

Ambrosi has investigated two alleged miracles involving prayers for Fr. Kapaun’s intercession.  In 2006 Avery Gerleman, then 12 years-old, was near death for 87 days. She recovered after her parents prayed to Kapaun.  In October 2008 Chase Kear, a college track athlete, inexplicably survived a severe pole vaulting accident. His skull was fractured from ear to ear and caused some bleeding on his brain. Doctors said he would likely either die in surgery or from a post-surgery infection.  However, family and friends joined in petitions to Fr. Kapaun. Kear survived the surgery and left the hospital only a few days after the incident.  Doctors said both recoveries were medically inexplicable.  Ambrosi said the intensity of the priest’s devotees is “incredible.”  Several Catholic parishes and many parishioners pray for Fr. Kapaun’s intercession every week at Masses and many call upon him when loved ones become ill.

Fr. Hotze said that the diocese has finished collecting information that will “hopefully, with the grace of God, prove Father Kapaun worthy of beatification and then canonization as a saint of the Catholic Church.”  Ambrosi and other investigators must now closely study 8,268 documents about the chaplain’s deeds and sacrifices in the Korean War. Those documents are being sent to Rome.  If canonized, the priest would become the third American-born saint.”

Clearly, Fr. Kapaun was an incredible man!  What a TrueMan!  Living virtue at every turn.  I wrote another story about him previously, which also includes some video trailers of a film that was made about his life.  Click HERE for that story.  We hope he is elevated to the distinction of “blessed”!

Fr. Emil Kapaun – Pray for us!

TrueMan up!

Making Sense of It

Allow me first to write that I am not a moral theologian.  I don’t speak from a substantial place of authority on this post (nor do I normally), but as usual, I want to share some thoughts on the topic from a manliness standpoint.

With the recent news of the killing of Osama Bin Laden, there has been a lot of talk on how one should respond.  I’ve heard of many different responses – some that I agree with, some that I disagree with (and that I’m opposed to) and some that are neutral.  Have you heard these responses?… “USA! USA! USA!” or “We should not rejoice in the death of a man.”  or “He had it coming!” or “Proverbs 11:10” or “I won’t lie and say I wasn’t excited about last night’s news.”  The list goes on and on.  Many responses get much worse.

First, in response to the outpouring of patriotism… we, as proud Americans, should always have an outpouring of patriotism, not just on July 4th, on Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day or on a day when one of the worst terrorist leaders and threats to America has been eradicated.  Do you always fly the stars and stripes, or only when it is fitting for celebration or your cause?  I proudly fly our flag every day.

Next, in response to “He had it coming” or other hate-filled responses.  Yes, the man was a terrorist and a militant one at that.  He was responsible for countless deaths, all across the globe.  I guess we could say, “Live by the automatic rifle, die by the automatic rifle.”  Nonetheless, the response should not be joy in his death.  Instead, I suggest going beyond the initial emotional response and thinking rationally about the situation.  (This is NOT to say that Bin Laden didn’t risk the sort of demise that he experienced.  Of course, in the militaristic fashion in which he lived, with nearly the entire world’s military forces looking for him, and with the excessive force that he displayed, there was a good chance that he was going to die in a fire fight.  And certainly, there is something to be said about our incredible troops going in and attempting to disarm and arrest Bin Laden so that he could be tried in a military court of law.)  It is hard for some of you reading to believe that there’s a better response to Bin Laden’s death than ecstatic rejoicing.  I challenge that idea by suggesting that we look at it in a different light.  (Note: this doesn’t take away what he did, what he was responsible for, who he instructed and what they might have done or will do, or any thing else.  It is merely the virtuous response.)

Here’s what I wrote on Facebook earlier today and some of the responses that my post got.  I wrote “I don’t know about anybody else, but considering that my brother, some of my friends and many other great Americans and Foreigners are in the middle east fighting for our freedom, we should rejoice not in the death of a man, but in the hope that the war may end and peace (which has never seen the light of day in the middle east) may come to all peoples.” I then commented, “Here is what the Church, our guide, says: “In the face of a man’s death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred.” – Vatican Statement on the Death of Bin Laden”

These are the comments that followed:

• “Thank you. I was kind of sickened at the reaction here, actually.”  (From a cadet at the Air Force Academy who witnessed her fellow cadets assembling in the middle of campus to celebrate the death of Bin Laden with cheers of excitement, dancing, loud music, chanting and so on.)
• I then responded, “I saw a video from last night at the Academy and thought I should post something. Although there is pride in being American, it should be there every day, not merely when we have a military victory and certainly should not be at the death of any man, woman or child.”
• “Thank you David for being the voice of reason. I have been very conflicted about this event since I learned of it last night during the Phillies game and the crowd started cheering “USA.” I couldn’t understand why people were so proud to have killed somebody–even a man responsible for the deaths of so many others.”
• “If we are going to stand up and say that all life is precious, we need to mean “all”. Even when we struggle to find forgiveness and compassion for a sinner.”
• “Right on, Dave”

Now, I’m sure that many others wanted to respond differently.  I understand, and can relate because of the many thoughts that ran through my head when I heard the news of Bin Laden’s death, to be glad that the hunt for Bin Laden is over.  I had shimmering hopes that maybe the war will come to an end sooner than planned.  I wondered if my brother, or anyone I know who is serving in the middle east, was a part of this mission.  I wondered what my father, a 30-year Air Force Veteran and Veteran of two tours in Viet Nam thought.  I even thought things in regards to Bin Laden’s Muslim Extremist faith and how all that might play out in the coming days, weeks and months.  None of that matters.  A man is dead and we, as Catholics, should mourn the fact that he did not know Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.  Life is not about military victories, nor parties in the street, nor anything else.  Life is about achieving the ultimate gift of eternal life in Heaven with God.  Plain and simple.

This probably shouldn’t be the last time we discuss this topic, so if you’ve got thoughts, comments, or suggestions, leave them below in the comment section.

Again, here’s what the Catholic Church said today: “In the face of a man’s death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred.”

TrueMan up!

LIFE Group – Runners Run, Christians Pray, LIFE Runners Do Both!

One of my favorite things to witness is when people figure out what they’re passionate about and use their passion for the greater good.  I hope that comes across here on TrueManhood.com – my passion of helping men grow into authentic masculinity in the image of Jesus Christ, the TrueMan exemplar.  As I often say, “I do this to help men who are where I was get out of that place, or if possible, help a man to never go where I was.”

One such group of people that are passionate about something and have put their passion to use for the greater good are my comrades in prayer and in the fight against the culture of death who founded The Living Faith Exchange (LIFE) Group; Pat Castle, Rich Reich, Steve Castle and others.  (LIFE Group, which can be found on the web at www.LIFEgroup413.org.)  Here’s how they got started…

FAITH JOURNEY: The Living In Faith Exchange (LIFE) Group seed was planted by the Holy Spirit during faith conversations between running partners Pat Castle and Rich Reich, while they were training in the mountains around Colorado Springs in preparation for the Pikes Peak Ascent and Air Force Marathon in 2006.  That seed grew into more faith sharing/prayer time while reading the Living Faith devotional together before work, while serving as chemistry professors at the Air Force Academy.  When Rich moved to the Univ of FL for his PhD in 2007, that morning devotion continued over email.  In Dec 2007, Pat began sharing their morning devotion emails with family and friends.  In Jan 2008, Pat’s brother Steve suggested starting a blog…Rich set it up and came up with the name…and Pat took off sharing the LIFE Group Devotions with everyone he could reach.  The name, Living In Faith Exchange (LIFE) Group, focuses on the Christian’s calling to live the faith by sharing and defending our faith.  The name also points us to the greatest of causes, LIFE, to save babies (and families).  In 2008, Pat and Rich co-founded the LIFE Runners half/full marathon team, feeding into and from the LIFE Group and focused on actively raising awareness/funds for ProLife.  Steve Castle joined as author #3 on 5 Aug 2009.  With Steve’s encouragement and Rich’s activation, on 22 Oct 2009 we began posting our devotions on Facebook.  On 10 Jun 2010, we began selecting our own verses from the daily Mass readings.  On 5 Oct 2010, Rob Rysavy sent out his first devotion as weekly author #4.  On 30 Sep 2010, we started posting a guest author devotion on Thursdays…our weekly author #5 to round out the weekdays.  On 15 Nov 2010, the authors launched our current website…and included Phil 4:13 in the name (http://lifegroup413.org).  What began as a faith conversation between Pat and Rich during a long mountain run…is now a Living in Faith Exchange between over 600 ProLife Christians!

If you’d like to get involved, visit the site and subscribe.  The devotions are great – and, if it’s not already part of your day, it might be a great way for you to start praying every day.  Another awesome thing they do, which you will see if you visit their website, is run half and full marathons in the name of saving babies and families.  What an awesome project!  Their goal for 2011 is to raise $25K for a pregnancy bus that gives pregnant women free ultrasounds.  87% of women who see their unborn child on ultrasound don’t abort.  LIFE Group runners are doing great work in decreasing the number of abortions in America.  “Runners run, Christians Pray… LIFE Runners do both!”  (You can follow LIFE Group on Facebook too.)

I want to highlight something here.  It’s how I started this post, when I spoke about passion.  When you are passionate about something, it becomes what you live for, what you put your efforts toward and an awesome way to witness to others.  Pat and Rich did this.  By remaining disciplined and devoted, they have now brought great meditations and prayers, especially prayers for the unborn and the end to abortion, to thousands of people, and brought them all to the foot of the cross and laid them down at Jesus’ feet.  Do you have something you’re passionate about?  Does something really get you going?  Can you use it for the greater good of society?  I challenge everyone to think about that and make it happen!

TrueMan up!

Video on Frontline Faith Project

Check this video for more on the Frontline Faith Project.  Your donation of $24 (or more) can go to get this invaluable mp3 player in the hands of our heroes.  If you can’t view the video, click HERE.

What will you do for the soul of a soldier?

 TrueMan up!

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