TrueManhood More Realistic with the Help of Good Women

I’m striving for TrueManhood.  TrueManhood is what all men are called to, a life of virtue as an imitation of Jesus Christ, the TrueMan.  It is the most fulfilling life a man can live.  I strive, but I am far from perfect.  I fail to live up to TrueManhood, and have a long road towards virtuous living.  This lifestyle is difficult, but it is realistic, and it is achievable.  To my point, TrueManhood is much more realistic with the help of good women.

This is my Mother’s Day post for 2014.  It has been interesting, for me, as I became a father and my children grow older, the shift that has taken place surrounding Mother’s Day.  The focus of Mother’s Day, for husbands of mothers of small children, is no longer on their own mother (although we are still grateful and appreciative – Happy Mother’s Day Mom!) but rather is derived from the family’s appreciation and admiration, thanksgiving for, and efforts of “Mommy.”  This focus, it seems to me, is led heavily by those things specifically from the father’s point of view.  The small children aren’t necessarily capable of intentionally creating, buying, or delivering thoughtful, sentimental, meaningful gifts or performing acts of gratitude, so the responsibility lands on that of the father.

I am notorious for getting the wrong gift, things my wife never asked for, indicated that she wanted, or has any use for.  (Not all of my gifts are horrible, just most of them!)  I lack originality and romance, sentimentality and thoughtfulness.  It is a crippling affliction.  This year, I’m writing this post as an attempt at a textual monument to my wife, the mother of my four beautiful children.  Words cannot begin to explain.  She is a true servant, compassionate, and tender, and incredibly thoughtful.  One of my favorite characteristics of my wife is her intentionality; everything she does has a plan and is thought out and most importantly, purposeful.  In addition to those, she is never self-centered.  She challenges me in so many good ways to raise my level of living, and I am so grateful.

Catherine – you work tirelessly to support me in my endeavors, and are relentless in the rearing of our children.  They are incredible because you make them incredible.  They are lucky little kids, having you as their mother.  I’m the lucky man that gets to call you wife, best friend, and soul mate.  Thank you for all you do for us, we can never live up to your example, but will try our hardest. 

All of these things speak to the beauty of how men and women are complementary, and that complementarity works to build both sides.  For me personally, my wife’s complementarity is the greatest way for me to achieve TrueManhood.  She assists me, as my helpmate, to refine me, challenge me, and inspire me to be the man that I so badly want to be, and the man that she and my children deserve.  Because we are so intimately connected, as one flesh through our matrimony, her life is my life, and I am all the better because of it.

A single day for our mothers is almost a slap in the face, because there are no words, no amounts of gifts or money spent on them, nor thoughtfulness that we can put into anything for our mothers or for the mothers of our children that will even begin to compare to the love, sacrifice, and total self-gift that these women give, day in and day out.  As a small token, for all the mothers out there, please accept this small gesture of thanks.

TrueMan up!

Just Because He Can

I took my wife out for dessert on Mother’s Day.  While talking with her, I noticed (through a window) a male shuffling around his Hummer H2.  He entered the vehicle and proceeded to pull forward.  Sounds pretty normal, right?  Well, in front of his vehicle was not open pavemen, but a grassy curbed area of the parking lot, for which he had complete disregard.  I noticed him doing this, quickly told Catherine to turn around and look and was genuinely frustrated at what I just witnessed.  She said, “There’s tomorrow’s post.”

I wanted to write about how this wanna-be alpha male acted this way just because he can.  He knows that he most likely won’t be confronted.  He knows that his truck is going to have no problem driving over a wimpy 8 inch sloped curb.  In my head, I’m thinking to myself that this guy, if confronted about his actions, would say something like “But I drive a H2, and I can drive over anything I want to.”  He probably thinks that “because he can”, he should.

First off, he’s selfish.  He doesn’t think about anyone but himself.  Secondly, he has total disregard and zero respect for others and their property.  He didn’t care that the curb may have cracked, or that the grass might have been destroyed or any other possibility (regardless of how far-reaching they might be).  He was selfish, thinking only about himself and his H2.  Thirdly, he wasn’t interested in the example he was setting.  He very well might have had children in the vehicle with him and because of his selfishness, the children now believe that it’s acceptable to act this way.  Fourthly, he probably never contemplates the consequences of his actions, but believes that if he wants to do something, he should.  What’s the problem with a guy like this, besides his lack of respect for others?  He wants people to spoon feed him things, to come behind him and clean up after him and he expects that he’ll never be responsible for anything, because he’s a “dude”. 

I understand the desire to drive over stuff in a 4×4, I do it regularly… but not private property.  I thoroughly enjoy off-roading in my Avalanche… but I do it respectfully.  That’s not the point.  My point is that being selfish is not manly.  My point is that total disregard for others and their property is not manly.  My point is that being a societal leach is detrimental to others.  Be a TrueMan, respect others, be accountable to yourself for what you do, and know that others are watching you.

Man up!