A Man, His Wife, a Snowmobile and Wide-open Spaces
I’m a lucky man. I had the opportunity to get away this weekend with my wife. We got away for a half day on Friday, stayed overnight and had a whole day together on Saturday. With children, full-time jobs, a full-time ministry and life, we rarely get a full weekend together. A big thanks goes out to my brother, a friend of ours and to my in-laws for their help in watching the kids while we were gone.
The overnight date was perfect, just what we needed. A time with my best friend, a time of relaxation and rejuvenation, a time for some excitement and adventure. On Friday, we traveled to a small mountain town about 2.5 hrs away. When we arrived in town, the shop was ready for us. We signed in, grabbed a helmet for each of us, then traveled about 3 miles outside of town to start our back country snowmobile trip. We jumped on a touring sled and hit the trail. We couldn’t have asked for a better day – the sky was blue, the sun was out, the snow was pristine. It’s days like that when you really enjoy God’s creation… it was as if that day, God had created it all for us specifically. We toured around for a few hours, enjoying the scenery, the cool wind and each other’s company. The trip was incredible.
That night, we relaxed in a meager hotel room, enjoying each other’s company, the fact that we didn’t have to put any children to bed and the realization that there was no work in sight! The next morning, we got up early to hit the slopes, enjoying a day of skiing at a favorite ski resort. Again, God blessed us with an incredible day of blue skies, warm temps and time together.
What’s my point in telling you all about my wonderful overnight weekend getaway? My point is simple: take time to rejuvenate yourself. Find something – it doesn’t have to be snowmobiling and skiing – but find something that gives you life and make time for it in your life. As a man who is a glutton for a busy life, I can attest to the facts of life and what a busy, stress-filled life can do to a man. If you don’t have an outlet for your stress, your worries and your cares, they’ll catch up with you. If you don’t have a source of energy to fill you up, you’ll continually give of yourself until you run dry. For me, it was 1. time with my wife, alone without our children 2. time away from my computer, work and projects and 3. an opportunity to do an activity (2, in this case) that was life-giving! After this weekend, I’m ready to tackle my life and everything that life throws my way.
Whatever it is that you need in your life, be it a stress-reliever, a life-giving “fill up” or an outlet of any kind, make special time to make it happen. It will do you, and the others you are entrusted with, a great deal of good.
Man up!
A Fireside "Discussion"
Last night I was up in the mountains with a great group of young Catholics. We had a great little (easy) hike into a waterfall, played some horseshoes (in the dark) and had a nice meal cooked by our priest. Somehow [I’m still not certain how exactly] we began discussing the topic of women as altar servers. I have some pretty firm beliefs on the subject, and stemming from those beliefs, we began to discuss the current state of the Church – all from an opinion/experience standpoint.
I firmly believe that the modern, American Catholic Church is, as I’ve put it before, “by women, for women”. Yes, the “leaders” are Bishops, Priests and Deacons, but my point is that the lay-portion of the Church is the “for women” part. This caught some of the young women off guard and immediately put them on the defensive. This was NOT my intention. I intended to explain that the problem is not what the women are doing, or their involvement or their faithfulness or anything of the sort… I intended to explain that in order to fix the problem, men must step up and fulfill the call from God to be protectors, defenders, leaders and TrueMen!
Allow me to explain the statement “by women, for women”. If you look at a typical Catholic parish in America, 80%+ participation and involvement is middle-aged and older women, as well as children. The liturgies are filled with female volunteers, the events are orchestrated and attended by females and the typical style of worship is geared toward female spirituality – rightly so, since 80%+ in attendance are female. The problem with this is multi-faceted: First (and FOREMOST) MEN ARE NOT PRESENT. Men are slacking on their responsibilities and are failing to fulfill their calling as men. Secondly, when men fail to fulfill their role, women tend to step in and attempt to fulfill the men’s role for them. This doesn’t work because the male role(s) are meant to be fulfilled by men, and women simply can’t fulfill (rightly) a man’s role. In the same way, a man cannot successfully fulfill a woman’s role. If this occurs, the relationships and the fulfillment of the responsibilities are skewed, or disordered.
Another part to the problem is the idea of, an oxymoron, “The Fatherless Family”. If men are non-existent in the Church, the Church (which is similar to a family unit) will suffer greatly. This, in my opinion, is the current state of affairs. The solution to these problems is men stepping up, leading and fulfilling their responsibilities. As God commanded Adam in the garden, modern men must “shamar” the garden – they must protect, defend and cultivate their world. My hope is that men begin to learn what it means to live a truly manly lifestyle, within the context of the Life of Faith, as fathers, husbands, sons and friends and that the Church can return to a well-ordered way of operating. More to come on this.
Disclaimer: This is a generalization. There are many men, in many parishes, in many dioceses, that are fulfilling their responsibilities and are living well-ordered lives. There, the Church is strong. There, the Church is thriving.
Man up!
