State Champs; Young Gentlemen on Their Way to TrueManhood

Congratulations to the young men on the basketball team from our ‘small school in the middle of nowhere’ as they were crowned State Champions in Kansas Boys State 1A Basketball!  I write this post partially to talk about sports, but more so to discuss the young men that make up this team and our high school.  We haven’t lived in our small rural farming town for long (only 6 months at this point) but I’ve been impressed with these young men countless times already, and am so happy to highlight them in a post.

The basketball team was led by my college friend (Benedictine College) basketball Head Coach (and Husband, Father, and County Sheriff’s Deputy) Lance Bergmann.  These young men have been really impressive on the field and court this season.  In football (8-man) and in basketball, they have played with an intensity that is rare.  While watching my first-ever 8-man football game back in September, I was literally blown-away by their tenacity, drive, and determination.  They played with a speed and ferocity that I have rarely seen with high schoolers.  On the basketball court, they play the same way, but with the finesse that basketball requires, while also being scrappy and resolute.  They finished as State Runner-up in football, falling just short of the title of “Champs.”  [I’m writing vaguely about who these young men are because there are only about 20 high school boys in the entire school and, from what I’ve seen, they come as a packaged deal.  A good slogan for these young men could be “all for one and one for all.”  For the few who don’t play sports (absolutely fine in my book, btw), they are involved in other endeavors and contribute to the athletes in the form of virtuous friendship and support.  This is a complete-package sort of win for everyone at St. John’s in Beloit.]

Not only have they experienced success in sports, four of these same scholar-athletes were recently crowned State Champions in Scholar’s Bowl, a number of them were on the State Championship Math Relays Team, and they all succeed widely in their classroom endeavors.  They are pro-life activists, TV/radio stars, and servants to the community.  But it still goes deeper for me.

I concentrate not on the mere accomplishments of a man, nor his degrees, his occupation, the size of his home, nor the make/model/year of his vehicle, but rather on the life the man leads.  I focus on  who he is.  These young men are well on their way to living TrueManhood, and for that, they should be proud.  I see these young men in Mass on a weekly (and many, on a daily) basis.  They serve, read, sing, and usher.  They are present in prayer.  Their Catholic faith is core to who they are.  They are sponges soaking up knowledge, learning from some great educators that devote their lives to our kids.  And quite possibly one of the most impressive attributes that I’ve seen in these young men… the leadership that is offered to them by their fathers.  It is truly beautiful to see sons encouraged, properly formed, trained, and supported by fathers who are second-to-none in work ethic, morality, and ultimately in their roles as husbands.  For most, the attributes of TrueManhood have been passed down for generations; performed as God originally intended.

To these young gentlemen – I’m extremely impressed.  I see you hold open doors, take care of the “little kids” (including my own children), honor your parents, respect the young ladies in our school, work extremely hard, and do all of this, and more, with smiles on your faces.  You have an incredible opportuity to positively impact our world for good.  Strive for holiness by living out virtue.  You are well on your way to becoming the TrueMen that God has created you to be.  Do not buy the lie that the world is selling… it is counterfeit, empty, and will lead to eternal death.  Choose the path that Christ set out for us, and journey with me and others, as we strive for TrueManhood.

To learn more about our awesome school and the faithfulness which we strive to uphold, check out this recent episode of EWTN’s “Life on the Rock”.

TrueMan up!

Where Are The Men?

Tonight, we went to Mass at a local parish we had never been to.  I’ve been wanting to go to a Mass there because I know several people who are parishioners at the parish who really like it.  After tonight, I’m confused as to why.  Besides the typical architectural disaster that this building was, the misplacement of the tabernacle and the lack of Catholic art (good statues, stained glass, etc.), the sense of what was about to happen was not Mass… it wasn’t sacred… it wasn’t important… it was just a thing.  That’s what I got when I first walked in.

As Mass started, I was highly disappointed in what was taking place… a jazz concert masked by the appearance of a worship service.  Between the really obnoxious singers (all mic’d up individually, ouch!) and the electronic drum set, I couldn’t figure out what was happening… was it about the music group? or about the Mass?  In my mind, the music was winning, although it didn’t have much of a following in the congregation.  As Mass continued, I realized what the problem was.  It was shouting at me loud and clear…

There were virtually NO MEN in servant-leadership roles!  The vast majority of the servant-leaders were women, which has almost nothing to do with the women, and everything to do with the men.  When men don’t actively serve in parish life, specifically in the Mass, a parish is going to suffer.  Here’s the scenario at this parish; these numbers are typical for most parishes around the country.

• When we walked in, three women greeted us, no men were to be found. 0-3.
• There were 3 altar servers, 2 were young girls.  1-5.
• In the rockin’ jazz/pop/r&b, happy happy clap clap band there was 1 man, 7 women.  2-12.
• There were 4 ushers… all women!  2-16.  (Men weren’t even ushering, ahhh!!!)
• Out of the excessive 9 Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, 2 were men.  4-23.
• The ‘commentator’, lectors and cantor were all women.  4-27.
• Oh yeah, the priest was a man.  5-27.

So, out of 32 servant-leadership positions, (31 really, when you remove the priest from the list) only 4 were filled by men!  And one of those 4 was a 12 year-old boy altar server!  This is despicable.  Again, this has nothing to do with the women, and everything to do with the men!  I’ll explain myself in more detail, in the next post… you’ve got to come back!

TrueMan up!

Upcoming Schedule for TrueManhood Ministry

Here’s some information on our upcoming schedule of events.  More events will be scheduled as they come up.  If you’re interested in booking Dave for your event, parish, school, retreat, conference or group, please email us at Info@TrueManhood.com and someone on our staff will get back to you soon!

November 18 – on Sirius Radio Channel 159 (XM 117) with “The Catholics Next Door“.  1120am EST (920am EST).  Topic TBD.

November 20 – in New Jersey at Montclair State University’s Annual Catholic Thanksgiving Party.  Including Ramapo College.  Topic: “The Battles We Face as Young Adult Catholics in the Modern World”.
December 17 – on with Joe McClane “The Catholic Hack“.

December 31 – in Florida at the FOCUS National Conference 2010.  Speaking to the Men at the Men’s Impact Sessions.  Topic: “Fighting for Manliness” – For men who want to dive into the realities of the battle for men’s souls.  What is manliness, why is it being attacked and how do we fight to save it?

January 8 – on with Mark Houck and Damian Wargo (The King’s Men) on Holy Spirit Catholic Radio in Philadelphia. Topic: Man stuff.

February 20 or 27 – @ St. Mary’s Catholic Parish in Littleton, CO.  Confirmation Retreat.

March 7 – USAFA TEC Retreat – Topic: Discipleship “Imitate Me as I Imitate Christ”

March/April DATE TBD – on with CatholicTV.  More details coming on this.

Financial Decisions

Something that has been facing our family over the past few weeks and will continue to be a “hot topic” with us is our finances.  We’ve made certain decisions that have and will lead to certain other decisions which have certain consequences, and so on.  (Being vague… a graduate degree, family vacations over the summer, working part-time, daycare, etc.).  For us, when it comes to finances, we always look at the big picture.  The big picture shows us where we really are and what we really have… therefore, we know what we can really afford. 

If I, as the husband and father, had a compulsive spending habit or made rash and/or imprudent decisions with money, I would be taking away from the welfare of the family.  If this happened, I’d be setting the precedent for my wife and children, telling them that overspending, quick-spending, unnecessary spending, etc. is acceptable.  “If Daddy does it, it must be okay.”  It’s an important role to play in the family, playing the role of the CFO.  The way that I stay sane and “with it” on our finances is that I discuss all purchases, decisions, investments, savings and future plans with my wife.  She and I make up a great team that balances the budget, spends wisely, never has a deficit and has a sizable surplus.  We shop sales, use coupons and use techniques of bargaining to get the best prices possible.  My next post will be about how to save money in big and little ways.

I know many people that have big-time struggles with their finances and honestly, I believe it comes down to one of three things.  Either, they are 1. Ignorant about Money and don’t understand how it works for/against them or 2. they are lying to themselves about what they can afford or eventually pay off or possibly 3. They have an unhealthy idea of what life is about (vanity usually comes in play here).  If you have struggles with money, make today the last day that you make bad choices.  You hold the power.  Get some financial help from a professional until you are capable of making good decisions on your own again.  Make a budget, stick to the budget.  Make a plan for the future, make it happen.  Take charge of your life, don’t let money rule you. 

One belief that I hold very strongly is the belief that “if you give, God will repay you many times over”.  The idea of generosity is becoming so foreign to our culture – where most people in society are simply out for themselves.  I strongly believe that if people were more generous with their spoils, God would be more generous with them and in the end, they’d have more spoils and overall, a happier, more fulfilling life (because of giving and being blessed, not because they have money or “stuff”).  For us, we make serious decisions about who we donate to.  In just about every case, it’s to a Catholic-based organization, parish or group.  Want some ideas of who to donate to?  Check out FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students) out of Denver, CO, VirtueMedia out of Arizona, your local parish and/or your local diocese.  If you’re feeling really generous and want to help pay for my master’s, I’d be delighted to accept it! 

Man up!